Why I Fired My Secretary: - GoFuckYourself.com

Donny · 09-01-2005, 09:48 AM

Why I fired my secretary... Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "happy birthday."

I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids came into breakfast and didn't say a word.

So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "good morning, boss, happy birthday!" it felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "you know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me."

I said, "thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.

Let's go!" we went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.

We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "you know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, "boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "happy birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.

psili · 09-01-2005, 09:51 AM

Pics or a video would have been nice.

Neal · 09-01-2005, 09:57 AM

Had that on my mail a few days ago..

Still funny as hell though..

NY_TIM · 09-01-2005, 09:58 AM

Violetta · 09-01-2005, 09:59 AM

gdog · 09-01-2005, 10:00 AM

LOL, that is some funny shit. Got to steal that and send it around.

G

DarkJedi · 09-01-2005, 10:02 AM

BEST. STORY. EVER.

justfreemovies · 09-01-2005, 10:03 AM

thats a good one i enjoyed it

MikeVega · 09-01-2005, 10:03 AM

god i wish that was true ...it would have been one of the funniest this to happen in real life ...

Egypt[4TH-Reactor] · 09-01-2005, 10:03 AM

gangbangjoe · 09-01-2005, 10:04 AM

scoreman · 09-01-2005, 10:11 AM

Good one hahaha. Sorta reminds me of the peanut butter/ dog story.

Doctor Dre · 09-01-2005, 10:14 AM

OMG OMG OMG !!! Good one

RuthB · 09-01-2005, 10:15 AM

that's a great one!

sicone · 09-01-2005, 10:15 AM

Kla wolven · 09-01-2005, 10:21 AM

cool story i feel better now..

HammerALL · 09-01-2005, 10:22 AM

That's gold

Hornydog4cooter · 09-01-2005, 10:23 AM

That is some funny shit . I can just picture some idiot thinkin he is gonna get laid sittin there butt naked when his family walks out

Manowar · 09-01-2005, 10:25 AM

CherryLipsRosa · 09-01-2005, 10:27 AM

I feel Nipply right now!!!

georgeyw · 09-01-2005, 10:28 AM

thanks - needed a good laugh

Fresh · 09-01-2005, 10:28 AM

pussyluver · 09-01-2005, 10:40 AM

Great story. Now that you have Donny's money have some of Donny's......

LittleSassy · 09-01-2005, 10:45 AM

old joke but its still funny!!

djroof · 09-01-2005, 10:54 AM

cool story ;)

xlogger · 09-01-2005, 10:56 AM

Damn dude, i got wood!

prairie · 09-01-2005, 11:01 AM

LOL - seriously

chemicaleyes · 09-01-2005, 11:02 AM

haha, old but still funny.

Doctor Dre · 09-01-2005, 12:09 PM

So good I stole it and posted it elsewhere

Brad Mitchell · 09-01-2005, 12:11 PM

OMG OMG If that's true that's the best-worst story ever.

Brad

loverboy · 09-01-2005, 12:24 PM

funny story lol

Praguer · 09-01-2005, 12:27 PM

Fucking hilarious !

u-Bob · 09-01-2005, 12:38 PM

old,
but funny

wildgirl · 09-01-2005, 02:00 PM

hahaha that's one of the great story I've read here...good one

09-01-2005, 09:48 AM	#1
Donny As you wish... Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 13,754	Why I Fired My Secretary: Why I fired my secretary... Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "happy birthday." I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids came into breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "good morning, boss, happy birthday!" it felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "you know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" we went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "you know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, "boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "happy birthday". And I just sat there... On the couch... Naked.

09-01-2005, 09:51 AM	#2
psili Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Loveland, CO Posts: 5,526	Pics or a video would have been nice. __________________ Your post count means nothing.

09-01-2005, 09:57 AM	#3
Neal Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Shangrila Posts: 243	Had that on my mail a few days ago.. Still funny as hell though.. __________________ ICQ 243702391 [email protected] www.dream-cash.com

09-01-2005, 09:58 AM	#4
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09-01-2005, 09:59 AM	#5
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09-01-2005, 10:00 AM	#6
gdog Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: San Diego Posts: 1,550	LOL, that is some funny shit. Got to steal that and send it around. G __________________ Busty Amateurs is Back - Meet the Girls \| Read the BLOG \| See the UPDATES High conversions and high retention, almost 1000 hosted galleries 995 PAYS Samples Big Boobs \| Busty Babes \| Strap Ons \| Hardcore \| Amateurs \| Videos

09-01-2005, 10:02 AM	#7
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	BEST. STORY. EVER.

09-01-2005, 10:03 AM	#8
justfreemovies Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Springfield, Illinois Posts: 1,150	thats a good one i enjoyed it __________________ Signature views since 1/13/11 If you can read this, your ad could be here. Sig for rent www.BlogMilfs.com Domain for sale Click for details

09-01-2005, 10:03 AM	#9
MikeVega Porntrepreneur Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: New York Posts: 12,788	god i wish that was true ...it would have been one of the funniest this to happen in real life ... __________________ Mike Vega-ICQ:253868499-AIM:mikeydicevega

09-01-2005, 10:03 AM	#10
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09-01-2005, 10:04 AM	#11
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09-01-2005, 10:11 AM	#12
scoreman Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Miami, Florida Posts: 1,491	Good one hahaha. Sorta reminds me of the peanut butter/ dog story. __________________

09-01-2005, 10:15 AM	#14
RuthB Let's Get Paxumized! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,247	that's a great one! __________________ Send & Receive Mass Global Payments - Mass P2P/Wire/EFT/SEPA - Adult Industry Friendly - Award Winning Payment Service - Fast, Reliable & Secure! Paxum ...... Paxum Bank Email: [email protected] ~ Telegram: PaxumRuth

09-01-2005, 10:15 AM	#15
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	__________________

09-01-2005, 10:21 AM	#16
Kla wolven Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: near somewhere Posts: 457	cool story i feel better now..

09-01-2005, 10:22 AM	#17
HammerALL Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 3,506	That's gold __________________ Mario Amaral AKA: Hammerall Affiliate Sales \| Email:[email protected] Skype: Hammerall \| ICQ: 190272140

09-01-2005, 10:23 AM	#18
Hornydog4cooter Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,859	That is some funny shit . I can just picture some idiot thinkin he is gonna get laid sittin there butt naked when his family walks out

09-01-2005, 10:25 AM	#19
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09-01-2005, 10:27 AM	#20
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09-01-2005, 10:28 AM	#21
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09-01-2005, 10:28 AM	#22
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09-01-2005, 10:40 AM	#23
pussyluver Clueless OleMan Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: ICQ - 169903487 Posts: 11,009	Great story. Now that you have Donny's money have some of Donny's......

09-01-2005, 10:45 AM	#24
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09-01-2005, 10:54 AM	#25
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09-01-2005, 10:56 AM	#26
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09-01-2005, 11:01 AM	#27
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09-01-2005, 11:02 AM	#28
chemicaleyes UNSTOPPABLE Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: UK :: ICQ# 156068 Posts: 11,569	haha, old but still funny. __________________ No way as way, No limitation as limitation. AmeriNOC formally PhatServers

09-01-2005, 12:11 PM	#30
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09-01-2005, 12:24 PM	#31
loverboy When it rains, it pours Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 20,609	funny story lol

09-01-2005, 12:27 PM	#32
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09-01-2005, 12:38 PM	#33
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	old, but funny

09-01-2005, 02:00 PM	#34
wildgirl My Sig was too Big! :( Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 2,554	hahaha that's one of the great story I've read here...good one __________________ My Best Money Maker: