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Old 05-19-2005, 11:54 AM   #1
Tala
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Ever really want to just up and quit?

Get out of the biz, start all over with nothing but your clothes and a computer, move to fuck knows where, and just find your place again?

Since January, i've been sitting here stagnant, not moving forward, seeming to fall back into an endless pit of despair. Suffice it to say, not only did my divorce kick me in the ass, but all the bills I got stuck with, the medical issues, and my own kind heart have all pulled me under.

I'm not sure exactly how to move forward, but I do know that if I don't think of something PDQ, I'm going to have to move on. I hate that thought. This is the best industry in the world, with some of the best people in the world. But I can't keep on like this.

Maybe I just need a long vacation.
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Old 05-19-2005, 11:55 AM   #2
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Get mad like me.
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Old 05-19-2005, 11:56 AM   #3
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uhmmm...naw...i like getting checks every day...
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Old 05-19-2005, 11:56 AM   #4
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Yeah, get mad. It really motivates you. It sure worked for me.
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Old 05-19-2005, 11:57 AM   #5
Tala
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlienQ
Get mad like me.
I've gotten mad. I've gotten furious.

The more I think about it, the more I think I need a break.
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Old 05-19-2005, 11:59 AM   #6
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dont tempt me...
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Old 05-19-2005, 12:00 PM   #7
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I was there believe me.. You just gotta know that you can't do shit about it except make a decision to bounce back stronger than ever. Moving and stuff like that isn't going to do anything cuz you can't move and run away from your own head. You just gotta pull it out of your ass, shake it off real good, and start over, bulldozing everyone and everything in your way.
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Old 05-19-2005, 12:01 PM   #8
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alot people need a move to get along with their lives, there is nothing wrong with that change is always needed to go on in the future, just remember lives up and downs and we all have both. you need to start small to get the ball rolling sometimes.
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Old 05-19-2005, 12:02 PM   #9
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Old 05-19-2005, 12:03 PM   #10
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yup, without motivation its hard to do something......here is a proven thought though.

You get motivation by doing something
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Old 05-19-2005, 12:03 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RRRED
I was there believe me.. You just gotta know that you can't do shit about it except make a decision to bounce back stronger than ever. Moving and stuff like that isn't going to do anything cuz you can't move and run away from your own head. You just gotta pull it out of your ass, shake it off real good, and start over, bulldozing everyone and everything in your way.
Excellent advice
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Old 05-19-2005, 12:04 PM   #12
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nope never. taking on the world and ultimately defeating it is the cross i bear daily.
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Old 05-19-2005, 12:06 PM   #13
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i thought about it right after november but I decided that not only have I already invested way too much time and engergy into this industry to just leave but I like it and most importantly this industry allows me to work from home and work through my own demons on my time rather than having to play by somebody else's rules.
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Old 05-19-2005, 12:08 PM   #14
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It happens at least couple of times a month... if not week. After a while you get used to it and find ways to turn off the brain while you work and enjoy life when you're not working.

If I could find a way to make money and still live as flexible as now, I would do it.
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Old 05-19-2005, 12:10 PM   #15
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yup happens every week
doing this isnt as easy as noobs think it is.
Sure get into adult, easy money! Absolute BS!
No such thing as easy $$ and now soon things will be harder still.
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Old 05-19-2005, 12:19 PM   #16
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Sounds like you may be burned out, which considering all you've been through lately it's to be expected.
Perhaps taking some time to relax (even if all you can spare is an hour or 2), pamper yourself, maybe a simple bubble bath or a good book and one of your fruit smoothies. Unplug, relax and allow yourself time to think/meditate and regroup.
Try making lists to help you sort through everything that is stressing you out and keeping you from moving forward.

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Old 05-19-2005, 12:44 PM   #17
Tala
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Thank you for the advice everyone. I appreciate it.
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Old 05-19-2005, 02:22 PM   #18
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Tala,

Take your talents and move them into a mainstream web product/service of some kind. You'll be surprised how excited about work you can get again.
You know the few different ways there are to make good money in porn, multiply that a million fold for the mainstream web.

Want an idea? Here's one for free ;)
How many women have you known that fall into depressions ... ALL of them right?
so cater to a niche that'll never dwindle - depressed women.
sarcastic tshirts they can wear
aroma therapy accessories for bubble baths
happytime tea blends
slippers that sigh and moan when they walk (hahahah ok that one made me giggle thinking of the visual)

or bitchy women - lordy knows we've all met a few of those too!
cranky tshirts (remember Alanis Morissettes reference to 'damn brittney spears'?)
coffee mugs with cranky faces and quotes

this kind of stuff makes great gag gifts also and marketing would be a scream of fun.

you see where I'm going with this .. your body is ready for a change and you have the brain to pull off a goldmine .. USE IT!! ;)

*hugs*
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Old 05-19-2005, 02:25 PM   #19
Tala
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Thanks for the idea vicki Wonder if I could actually do something with it.
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Old 05-19-2005, 02:32 PM   #20
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Good luck to you Tala. We all have down and ups in life. Just hang in there!
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Old 05-19-2005, 02:33 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Tala
Thanks for the idea vicki Wonder if I could actually do something with it.
with goals, you can accomplish anything you want.

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Old 05-19-2005, 02:34 PM   #22
vicki
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Tala

Its called reselling
trust me every product I mentioned is already available somewhere (except maybe the slippers lol)
work deals for bulk pricing or dropshipping
*tip on dropshipping*
many small speciality LIVE WORLD stores would gladly accomidate they just haven't been approached with the idea. And if you work it properly you have no out of pocket expenses except a domain name. Customers pay the shipping.

Your opportunity lies in creating a one-stop-shop for whatever niche of stuff you decide to market.

good luck
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Old 05-19-2005, 02:34 PM   #23
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Just keep on keeping on.
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Old 05-19-2005, 03:38 PM   #24
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Nobody ever pulls an "up and quit", all they do is take the same old problems to a new location and relive them again.

The problem isn't your location. It isn't your job. It isn't this. It isn't that. The problem is something inside you, and until you define what that problem is, you'll never be able to fix it and get out of your rut.

Step back. Analyze your life. Analyze yourself. Find your fail point. Fix it.
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Old 05-19-2005, 03:54 PM   #25
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When I get like that, I go kill a street whore and toss her in the river.

If that doesn't work... I'll take a few days off and do nothing but think about my situation, options and how hard I have worked to get where I am at. I try to get to the root of the reason I am standing still. Is it because I am lazy, burned out, depressed or just ready for something new? 9 out of 10 times it's because I'm being lazy or burned out, I realize that and cowboy up. I hit a burn out phase once a month and it will take me a few days to get out of it. Like most of you, I work a lot so burn out is going to happen.

To add to Slys post, he is 100% correct. Your problems will follow you if you don't fix them. Picking up and going away without a plan sounds like fun but it's not reality unless you just want to say FUCK IT and go travel the world.

Keep positive thoughts, don't let the haters get to you, eat right and exercise... and most of all don't stop 'till the wheels fall off. Or 'till they find that dead whores body.
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Old 05-19-2005, 03:57 PM   #26
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Everyone has given you good advice, face your problems, and take it easy....
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Old 05-19-2005, 03:57 PM   #27
Tala
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Thanks guys.
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Old 05-19-2005, 05:00 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sly
Nobody ever pulls an "up and quit", all they do is take the same old problems to a new location and relive them again.

The problem isn't your location. It isn't your job. It isn't this. It isn't that. The problem is something inside you, and until you define what that problem is, you'll never be able to fix it and get out of your rut.

Step back. Analyze your life. Analyze yourself. Find your fail point. Fix it.
So true.
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Old 05-19-2005, 06:30 PM   #29
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you need some rest man
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Old 05-19-2005, 06:31 PM   #30
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heh it has crossed my mind once or twice, but then i just think about what it's like to work for someone else, and i ferget all about it. ;]
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Old 05-19-2005, 06:34 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tala
Get out of the biz, start all over with nothing but your clothes and a computer, move to fuck knows where, and just find your place again?

Since January, i've been sitting here stagnant, not moving forward, seeming to fall back into an endless pit of despair. Suffice it to say, not only did my divorce kick me in the ass, but all the bills I got stuck with, the medical issues, and my own kind heart have all pulled me under.

I'm not sure exactly how to move forward, but I do know that if I don't think of something PDQ, I'm going to have to move on. I hate that thought. This is the best industry in the world, with some of the best people in the world. But I can't keep on like this.

Maybe I just need a long vacation.

I had the exact same thought today except a little different, in the process of doing it now. Gonna sell all my shit except my clothes buy a new laptop and rock out with some mainstream shit, and simply maintain the porn crap.

see what happens if you quit its done and over with forever unless you start again from scratch. I got too much time in this biz to do that. I got a few ideas for mainstream that I think should work.

Good luck with your choice

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Old 05-19-2005, 06:36 PM   #32
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*hugs* for tala, i know i've definitely had days like that - especially after going through things similar to what you've gone through. *big hugs* i have faith, it will all work out as it should. much love to you sister.
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Old 05-19-2005, 07:36 PM   #33
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Just sit back and take a breath Tala. I know things are hard, hell I'm there with you through most of it. I don't think you should quit in any sense of the word. You have made good friends, invested a good deal of time with these people, and you are well liked and respected. Give it some time, nothing comes immediately, it always takes some time.
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Old 05-19-2005, 08:11 PM   #34
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Almost 2 years ago, I had the rug pulled out from under a project that a partner and I had spent just over a year building. We had some sites done, and many feeder sites alive and growing. Several major players had given time and willingly donated resources. Programmers had been paid, TONS of content was in place. I can't even count the number of hours...if not months that we spent cutting vids. Servers had be paid for, tested and reconfigured several times. So much time and effort spent putting everything into place that we would need for a honest attempt at success.

Without any notice, a third party who was a major financial contributor decided to leap out of the adult biz all together...he was able to pull the plug on everything. (First mistake, get a contract from friends too)

I figure for at least a solid year, I had spent up to 10 hours per day 7 days a week working on this project while also still holding a job. The sites I had before were still alive, but had withered to nothing due to neglect.

Here I am, 2 years later still spinning my wheels in a pile of rubble. Should I quit? Some would say so. But like you I do honest business, I work hard, and my loyalty is very strong...I will eventually figure out what I need to do to regain the success I was having before pushing it off to the side only to be sideswiped.

You know you won't quit, and I won't either. Knowing so much about the biz and the people that are here is a major plus. Just need to figure out where to focus the energy, gotta find that one thing to focus on and turn it into something great.

Wow...I feel like I just had a therapy session. Many of you probably know who my partner was and possibly the project we were working on, but this is the first time I have really said anything about it...I suppose because of crushed pride.

Thanks for listening...keep your chin up.
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Old 05-19-2005, 09:28 PM   #35
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I Myself feel like you do Tala, And You too Skittles, I have been in this biz for a long time and i have som projects im currently workingon that will hopefully get me out of financial ruin. My personal therapy was Anthonny Robbins Personal Power 2 http://www.anthonyrobbins.com

and advice from Og Mandino: Even when your down in the dumps and depressed, NEVER STOP just keep rigth on going.

If you cant affor personal power 2 its about $80 i think, Just go on limewire and download whatever you can find of Anthony Robbins, It will motivate you and get you happy again. Rightnow all day things have been FUCKED up for me, But you know what? I have a Computer and a couple sites, and the means to make a fewmore sites (TGP Rotator) and Arrow Trade Scripts and im not fucking stopping till I get some shit done tonight.
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Old 05-19-2005, 09:32 PM   #36
BlueWire
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Prozac....and lots of it
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