![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||
Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
![]() ![]() |
|
Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
|
Thread Tools |
![]() |
#1 |
Super Connector
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 12,853
|
Snappy Answers
Just wanted to give ya'll something to help ya smile today!!!
![]() I am sure you have heard some of them before but they are good enough to read again!!! IMO Snappy Answer #1 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub." Snappy Answer #2 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." Snappy Answer #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. Snappy Answer #4 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." Snappy Answer #5 A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please," she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14." With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore. "F*** you!" Without flinching she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that, too." And the VERY BEST snappy answer ... Snappy Answer #6 THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, " Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
__________________
~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~ RIP TD
|
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#2 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Port St. Lucie, Florida
Posts: 5,162
|
haha... thanks for the laughs Loryn
![]() i like the kid and cop one the best |
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#3 |
I am a meat popsicle.
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 25,100
|
Moo.
Are you on ICQ anymore? I have to ask you something.
__________________
HIGHEST PAYOUTS FOR NO-CONSOLE TOURS IN THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY! THIS SIG CAN BE YOURS FOR $200 - ICQ: 78881543 |
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#4 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 4,857
|
what about a red snapper
|
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#5 | |
Fucked if I know
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Do you have a flag?
Posts: 23,368
|
Quote:
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#6 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: nofx, florida
Posts: 1,012
|
![]() i thought every single one was real funny |
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#7 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: FL
Posts: 1,154
|
![]() ![]() ![]() Some really good ones Loryn. Thanks for the laugh. |
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#8 |
I am a meat popsicle.
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 25,100
|
I liked 4 and 6 the best.
![]() ![]()
__________________
HIGHEST PAYOUTS FOR NO-CONSOLE TOURS IN THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY! THIS SIG CAN BE YOURS FOR $200 - ICQ: 78881543 |
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#9 |
I can change this!!!!!
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 18,972
|
those were pretty good thanks for the laugh
|
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#10 |
Pounding Googlebot
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 34,482
|
LOL.
When did you hit 4000 posts? Congrats. WG
__________________
I play with Google. |
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#11 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 471
|
![]() ![]() ![]() Thanks Loryn! ![]()
__________________
XtremePay Let's do business - hit me up - ICQ #233854608 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#12 |
stc is the greatest
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: rip sean murray
Posts: 12,403
|
good ones
|
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#13 |
BACON BACON BACON
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet
Posts: 35,462
|
hehe...nice stuff
|
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
#14 |
sell me your banners
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: on the tubes
Posts: 12,931
|
thanks for the laughs Loryn
![]()
__________________
Media Buyer - Sell me your traffic! FREE to register domains... Better than 99% of the crap sold here! |
![]() |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |