Snappy Answers - GoFuckYourself.com

Loryn · 12-01-2004, 03:13 PM

Just wanted to give ya'll something to help ya smile today!!!

I am sure you have heard some of them before but they are good enough to read again!!! IMO

Snappy Answer #1

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate

to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended

her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat

and flashed her without missing a beat she said, "Sir,

I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the

grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for

her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys

get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,

they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped

for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been

waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I

could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent

the kid on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A

sign comes up that reads Low Bridge Ahead." Before he

knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets

stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a

police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to

the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,

huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge

and ran out of gas."

Snappy Answer #5

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A

single agent was re-booking a long line of

inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger

pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down

on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight

and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try

to help you, but I've got to help these folks first,

and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so

that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU

HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her

public address microphone. "May I have your attention please," she

began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a

passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can

help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

With the folks behind him in line laughing

hysterically, the man glared at the United agent,

gritted his teeth and swore. "F*** you!"

Without flinching she smiled and said, "I'm sorry,

sir, but you'll have to get in line for that, too."

And the VERY BEST snappy answer ...

Snappy Answer #6

THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's

final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses

for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a

nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

illness, or a death in your immediate family but

that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his

hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said

I was suffering from complete and utter sexual

exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their

laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles

sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "

Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Jeff aka NIGHTfall · 12-01-2004, 03:17 PM

haha... thanks for the laughs Loryn

i like the kid and cop one the best

sickkittens · 12-01-2004, 03:19 PM

Moo.

Are you on ICQ anymore? I have to ask you something.

.:St Ides:. · 12-01-2004, 03:19 PM

what about a red snapper

Tala · 12-01-2004, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Loryn-Adult.com
Snappy Answer #6

THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's

final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses

for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a

nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

illness, or a death in your immediate family but

that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his

hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said

I was suffering from complete and utter sexual

exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their

laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles

sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "

Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

ironlung · 12-01-2004, 03:21 PM

lol

i thought every single one was real funny

mynetporn · 12-01-2004, 03:23 PM

Some really good ones Loryn. Thanks for the laugh.

sickkittens · 12-01-2004, 03:24 PM

I liked 4 and 6 the best.

Screaming · 12-01-2004, 03:25 PM

those were pretty good thanks for the laugh

WiredGuy · 12-01-2004, 03:27 PM

LOL.

When did you hit 4000 posts? Congrats.
WG

RuthXtremePay · 12-01-2004, 03:27 PM

- Awesome and hilarious! Just what I needed - a good laugh.
Thanks Loryn!

ytcracker · 12-01-2004, 03:27 PM

good ones

Phoenix · 12-01-2004, 03:28 PM

hehe...nice stuff

pradaboy · 12-01-2004, 03:38 PM

thanks for the laughs Loryn

12-01-2004, 03:24 PM	#8
sickkittens I am a meat popsicle. Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,100	I liked 4 and 6 the best. __________________ HIGHEST PAYOUTS FOR NO-CONSOLE TOURS IN THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY! THIS SIG CAN BE YOURS FOR $200 - ICQ: 78881543

12-01-2004, 03:25 PM	#9
Screaming I can change this!!!!! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,972	those were pretty good thanks for the laugh __________________

12-01-2004, 03:27 PM	#10
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,486	LOL. When did you hit 4000 posts? Congrats. WG __________________ I play with Google.

12-01-2004, 03:27 PM	#11
RuthXtremePay Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 471	- Awesome and hilarious! Just what I needed - a good laugh. Thanks Loryn! __________________ XtremePay Let's do business - hit me up - ICQ #233854608 Promote the Web's Best Selling All Inclusive Sites! 50-70% Recurring! Click here now!!

12-01-2004, 03:27 PM	#12
ytcracker stc is the greatest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: rip sean murray Posts: 12,403	good ones __________________ www.ytcracker.com \| www.digitalgangster.com i love you

12-01-2004, 03:13 PM	#1
Loryn Super Connector Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 12,853	Snappy Answers Just wanted to give ya'll something to help ya smile today!!! I am sure you have heard some of them before but they are good enough to read again!!! IMO Snappy Answer #1 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub." Snappy Answer #2 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." Snappy Answer #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. Snappy Answer #4 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." Snappy Answer #5 A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please," she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14." With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore. "F* you!" Without flinching she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that, too." And the VERY BEST snappy answer ... Snappy Answer #6 THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, " Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." __________________ ~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~** RIP TD Last edited by Loryn; 12-01-2004 at 03:36 PM..

12-01-2004, 03:17 PM	#2
Jeff aka NIGHTfall Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Port St. Lucie, Florida Posts: 5,162	haha... thanks for the laughs Loryn i like the kid and cop one the best __________________ Register Now For PimpinPays.com

12-01-2004, 03:19 PM	#3
sickkittens I am a meat popsicle. Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,100	Moo. Are you on ICQ anymore? I have to ask you something. __________________ HIGHEST PAYOUTS FOR NO-CONSOLE TOURS IN THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY! THIS SIG CAN BE YOURS FOR $200 - ICQ: 78881543

12-01-2004, 03:19 PM	#4
.:St Ides:. Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 4,857	what about a red snapper

12-01-2004, 03:21 PM	#6
ironlung Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: nofx, florida Posts: 1,012	lol i thought every single one was real funny

12-01-2004, 03:23 PM	#7
mynetporn Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: FL Posts: 1,154	Some really good ones Loryn. Thanks for the laugh.

12-01-2004, 03:28 PM	#13
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,465	hehe...nice stuff __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

12-01-2004, 03:38 PM	#14
pradaboy sell me your banners Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: on the tubes Posts: 12,931	thanks for the laughs Loryn __________________ Media Buyer - Sell me your traffic! FREE to register domains... Better than 99% of the crap sold here!