GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

Just wanted to give ya'll something to help ya smile today!!! :)

I am sure you have heard some of them before but they are good enough to read again!!! IMO

Snappy Answer #1

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate

to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended

her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat

and flashed her without missing a beat she said, "Sir,

I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the

grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for

her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys

get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,

they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped

for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been

waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I

could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent

the kid on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A

sign comes up that reads Low Bridge Ahead." Before he

knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets

stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a

police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to

the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,

huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge

and ran out of gas."

Snappy Answer #5

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A

single agent was re-booking a long line of

inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger

pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down

on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight

and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try

to help you, but I've got to help these folks first,

and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so

that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU

HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her

public address microphone. "May I have your attention please," she

began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a

passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can

help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

With the folks behind him in line laughing

hysterically, the man glared at the United agent,

gritted his teeth and swore. "F*** you!"

Without flinching she smiled and said, "I'm sorry,

sir, but you'll have to get in line for that, too."

And the VERY BEST snappy answer ...

Snappy Answer #6

THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's

final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses

for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a

nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or

illness, or a death in your immediate family but

that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his

hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said

I was suffering from complete and utter sexual

exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their

laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles

sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "

Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."