Laws in a Christian State - GoFuckYourself.com

boobmaster · 09-02-2004, 01:31 PM

Laws in a Christian State

1. The sale, distribution, and consumption of alcohol is strictly prohibited. Violators are subject to possible lengthy prison terms. Repeat violators will be publically stoned.

2. The sale, distribution, and consumption of tobacco products is strictly prohibited. Violators are subject to lengthy prison terms. Repeat violators will be publically stoned.

3. The use of inappropriate language is strictly prohibited. Violators face stiff fines and possible jail time. The explicit mocking of God, Christ Jesus, and/or the Holy Spirit is a major felony. Persons convicted of this crime face the death penalty.

4. Sexual intercourse with any person other than a spouse is a felony subject to a period of no less than 10 years imprisonment. Repeat offenders are subject to legally enforced chemical castration.

5. Pornography is outlawed. Any persons caught with offensive hardcore materials (e.g., Hustler, Penthouse), either in public or in private, are subject to a period of no less than 10 years imprisonment. Any persons caught with offensive softcore materials (e.g., playboy), either in public or in private, are subject to a period of no less than 5 years imprisonment.

6. Church attendance is mandatory at least once per week, on Sunday morning. Any persons caught violating this ordinance are subject to 1 year imprisonment for each day of church attendance missed.

7. All citizens must register for missionary service no later than their 18th birthday, and must complete at least two years service in the field no later than their 25th birthday. Failure to complete missionary service will result in the immediate termination of citizenship and subsequent deportation to a country chosen by the Committee on Missionary Affairs in Washington, D.C..

8. The teaching of the theory of Evolution is strictly prohibited at all public and private educational institutions, including all institutions of higher learning (Colleges and Universities). Violators face death by stoning under the Anti Child Corruption Act. Any persons who are known to have had any training in this theory are subject to immediate termination of citizenship and subsequent deportation to a country chosen by the Committee on Anti Child Corruption in Washington, D.C..

9. All creations of art, including film, literature, and music, must be approved by the Committee on Artistic Decency in Washington, D.C. before public distribution is granted. Artistic pieces deemed to lack sufficient moral appeal are prohibited. Persons caught producing and distributing such material will be classified as an enemy of God and are subject to immediate public stoning under the Decency in Art Act.

johnbosh · 09-02-2004, 01:34 PM

1. The sale, distribution, and consumption of alcohol is strictly prohibited. Violators are subject to possible lengthy prison terms. Repeat violators will be publically stoned.

nah nothing for me

NickPapageorgio · 09-02-2004, 01:35 PM

1. The sale, distribution, and consumption of alcohol is strictly prohibited. Violators are subject to possible lengthy prison terms. Repeat violators will be publically stoned.

I am publicly stoned atleast 3 times a week. No biggie...

Rictor · 09-02-2004, 02:03 PM

Sounds like Indiana.

TheLegacy · 09-02-2004, 02:05 PM

I see someone got ahold of bush's speech tonight

cherrylula · 09-02-2004, 02:05 PM

boobmaster is a closet satanist.

seeric · 09-02-2004, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NickPapageorgio
1. The sale, distribution, and consumption of alcohol is strictly prohibited. Violators are subject to possible lengthy prison terms. Repeat violators will be publically stoned.

I am publicly stoned atleast 3 times a week. No biggie...

L O FUCKIN L

lolololol

thats some funny shit. i'd be excommunicated from that state in about a day! banned for sure.

CoolE · 09-02-2004, 02:25 PM

Oh boy, we could add a lot more...

10. Slavery is legal. Further, a slave owner may beat his slave with a stick (an exemption to assault laws). But if the slave dies then this is a misdemeanor subject to a period of no less than 18 months imprisonment; UNLESS the slave lingers for at least two days before dieing - then no crime has occured. (basis: Exodus 21:20-21)

09-02-2004, 01:31 PM	#1
boobmaster So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 6,185	Laws in a Christian State Laws in a Christian State 1. The sale, distribution, and consumption of alcohol is strictly prohibited. Violators are subject to possible lengthy prison terms. Repeat violators will be publically stoned. 2. The sale, distribution, and consumption of tobacco products is strictly prohibited. Violators are subject to lengthy prison terms. Repeat violators will be publically stoned. 3. The use of inappropriate language is strictly prohibited. Violators face stiff fines and possible jail time. The explicit mocking of God, Christ Jesus, and/or the Holy Spirit is a major felony. Persons convicted of this crime face the death penalty. 4. Sexual intercourse with any person other than a spouse is a felony subject to a period of no less than 10 years imprisonment. Repeat offenders are subject to legally enforced chemical castration. 5. Pornography is outlawed. Any persons caught with offensive hardcore materials (e.g., Hustler, Penthouse), either in public or in private, are subject to a period of no less than 10 years imprisonment. Any persons caught with offensive softcore materials (e.g., playboy), either in public or in private, are subject to a period of no less than 5 years imprisonment. 6. Church attendance is mandatory at least once per week, on Sunday morning. Any persons caught violating this ordinance are subject to 1 year imprisonment for each day of church attendance missed. 7. All citizens must register for missionary service no later than their 18th birthday, and must complete at least two years service in the field no later than their 25th birthday. Failure to complete missionary service will result in the immediate termination of citizenship and subsequent deportation to a country chosen by the Committee on Missionary Affairs in Washington, D.C.. 8. The teaching of the theory of Evolution is strictly prohibited at all public and private educational institutions, including all institutions of higher learning (Colleges and Universities). Violators face death by stoning under the Anti Child Corruption Act. Any persons who are known to have had any training in this theory are subject to immediate termination of citizenship and subsequent deportation to a country chosen by the Committee on Anti Child Corruption in Washington, D.C.. 9. All creations of art, including film, literature, and music, must be approved by the Committee on Artistic Decency in Washington, D.C. before public distribution is granted. Artistic pieces deemed to lack sufficient moral appeal are prohibited. Persons caught producing and distributing such material will be classified as an enemy of God and are subject to immediate public stoning under the Decency in Art Act.

09-02-2004, 01:35 PM	#3
NickPapageorgio Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: NC Posts: 8,323	1. The sale, distribution, and consumption of alcohol is strictly prohibited. Violators are subject to possible lengthy prison terms. Repeat violators will be publically stoned. I am publicly stoned atleast 3 times a week. No biggie... __________________

09-02-2004, 02:05 PM	#5
TheLegacy SEO Connoisseur Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Brantford, Ontario Posts: 17,109	I see someone got ahold of bush's speech tonight __________________ SEO Connoisseur Microsoft Teams: Robert Warren SEO Telegram: @TheLegacy54 RobertWarrenSEO.com

09-02-2004, 01:34 PM	#2
johnbosh Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: The Netherlands, Rotterdam Posts: 8,965	1. The sale, distribution, and consumption of alcohol is strictly prohibited. Violators are subject to possible lengthy prison terms. Repeat violators will be publically stoned. nah nothing for me

09-02-2004, 02:03 PM	#4
Rictor Old Timer Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 12,208	Sounds like Indiana.

09-02-2004, 02:05 PM	#6
cherrylula lol Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 15,969	boobmaster is a closet satanist.

09-02-2004, 02:25 PM	#8
CoolE Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 451	Oh boy, we could add a lot more... 10. Slavery is legal. Further, a slave owner may beat his slave with a stick (an exemption to assault laws). But if the slave dies then this is a misdemeanor subject to a period of no less than 18 months imprisonment; UNLESS the slave lingers for at least two days before dieing - then no crime has occured. (basis: Exodus 21:20-21)