Good one :thumbsup

Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?


A: A pimp.

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "M" on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?"

A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.

"You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear."

At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man's anus, pulls it out, and then licks it. He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them. After a couple of minutes' silence, they follow through with his disgusting command.

"The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of observation: How many of you noticed that I stuck my middle finger into the corpse's anus, but I licked my index finger?"

Any winners?

Q: "Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?"

A: "He was dead"


love that one:glugglug

Yes, but keep posting the jokes. I love them. :1orglaugh

The big one?

"Best Come Back Line Ever "

This was apparently in the Washington Post... the title of the
article was "Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white
male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County
courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing
a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and
squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles.
At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose,
cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
"Guess I was really into it, you know?"
he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process,
Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car
approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda
Taylor approached him. "That was an unusual situation, that's for sure,"
said officer Taylor "I walked up to Lawrence and he's...just pumping
away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence. "I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize
that you're having sex with a pumpkin?". " He froze and was clearly
very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the
face and said ... "A pumpkin? F*** me, is it midnight already?"


:winkwink: