What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
































Nothing, you've already told the bitch twice.

Whats the difference between my Greek Grandmother and a Catfish?
























One's fat, smells funny and has whiskers.....



























The other one is a fish.

A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.

"Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence?
Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. Piled it for months.
But do they call me McGregor-the-Fence-Builder?
Nooo.."

Then the old man gestured at the bar.

"Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is?
I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor, for eight days.
But do they call me McGregor-the-Bar-builder?
Nooo..."

Then the old man points out the window.

"Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see?
I built that pier with the sweat off me back.
I nailed it board by board.
But do they call me McGregor-the-Pier-Builder?
Nooo..."

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention.

"But ya fuck one goat . . . "

:Graucho

In 1993,the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a penis was bigger than the rest of it.After 1 year and $180,000.00 they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study,France decided to do their own study.After 3 years of research and $250,000.00,they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Poland,unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study.After 2 Weeks and a cost of $75.46,they concluded that the head was bigger, to keep the man's hand from flying off and hitting him on the forehead.

Bumper Stickers for the Bush 2004 Campaign

Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars

Bush/Cheney '04: Leave No Billionaire Behind

Bush/Cheney '04: Deja-Voodoo All Over Again!

Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism

Bush/Cheney '04: Because the Truth Just Isn't Good Enough

Bush/Cheney '04: Making the World a Better Place, One Country at a Time

Bush/Cheney '04: Over a Billion Whoppers Served.

Bush/Cheney '04: Putting the "Con" in Conservative

Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for Not Paying Attention.

Bush/Cheney '04: The Last Vote You'll Ever Have to Cast

Bush/Cheney: Asses of Evil

Bush/Cheney '04: We're Gooder!

Bush/Cheney '04: This Time, Elect Us!

George W. Bush: The Buck Stops Over There

George W. Bush: A Brainwave Away from the Presidency

Don't think. Vote Bush!

More Trees, Less Bush

It Takes a Village Idiot

One Person, One Vote (*May Not Apply in Certain States)

What did one lesbian frog say to another?

They're right! we do taste like chicken!

An exquisite painting entitled Home for Lunch was on display in a Pennsylvania art gallery. It depicted three very naked, very black men sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis.

Two women were staring at the painting, trying to figure it out. The artist noticed their confusion.

The artist asked, "Can I help you with this painting?"

One woman replied, "We were curious about the painting of the black men on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?"

"I'm afraid you've misinterpreted the painting," the artist explained. "The three men are not African-Americans. They are Pennsylvania coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went Home for Lunch.

what do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

full.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."







Doctor: "I've got some cream for that!"

Texan: "Where are you from?"

Canadian: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

Texan: "OK, where are you from, Jackass?"

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails.
A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

whats a ghosts favorite meal? Spoogettie

When Nasa first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, scientists spent a decade and 12 billion dollars to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

A man met a beautiful girl, and she agreed to spend the night with him for $500.

So, they spent the night together. In the morning before he left, he told the girl that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "Rent for Apartment".
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So, he sent a check for $250 and enclosed a note:

"Dear Madam: Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:

1. It had never been occupied;

2. There was plenty of heat; and

3. It was small enough to make me cozy and at home.

Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately sent back the following reply:

"Dear Sir: First of all, I cannot understand how you expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlord."

Bush's Brain Scan

George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side."

Bush interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?"

The doctor replied, "That's true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything left."

An American Indian boy goes to his chief seeking wisdom...

"Chief Beaver Tail, how are babies named in our tribe?"

The chief chuckles. "Well, when a baby is born, the parents might see an eagle flying in the sky, and so name him 'Swift-Eagle'. They might see a deer running through the meadow, and so name him 'Leaping-Deer'. Do you understand?"

The boys thinks for a moment and nods his head. "Yes".

"Now why do you ask, Two-Dogs-Fucking?"

Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th candy bar, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little Tony replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little Tony answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business."

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

100 best jokes

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead-he remembered
dying, and the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He
wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of
the road. It looked like marble. At the top of a long hill, it was
broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing
before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother
of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a
man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out,
"Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is heaven, sir" the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought
right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in too?" the traveler
asked.

"I'm sorry sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back towards the road and
continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long
walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road that
led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.

There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside,
leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there." The man pointed to a place that
couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate and
sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then gave
some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward
the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked

"This is Heaven." was the answer.

"Well that's confusing." the traveler said. "The man down the road said
that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope.
That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they
screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind".

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle.
She picked it up and rubbed it, and 'low-and-behold' a genie appeared!

The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth.
I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'll it be?"

The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East.
See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other
and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa.
It will bring about world peace and harmony."

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These
countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape
after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THAT
good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be
reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to
find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to
cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along
with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful.
That is what I wish for...a good man."

The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see that friggin' map again."

The town's sheriff is walking down the
street and sees a blonde cowboy coming
down the walk with nothing on but his
cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he
arrests him for indecent exposure. As
he is locking him up, he asks "Why in
the world are you dressed like this?"

The Cowboy says "Well it's like this
Sheriff... I was in the bar down the
road and this pretty little red head
asks me to go out to her motor home
with her... so I did. We go inside and
she pulls off her top and asks me to
pull off my shirt... so I did. Then
she pulls off her skirt and asks me
to pull off my pants... so I did. Then
she pulls off her panties and asks me
to pull off my shorts... so I did. Then
she gets on the bed and looks at me
kind of sexy and says, "Now go to town,
cowboy"..... .....

And here I am."

Never under estimate the little old Lady.....
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day. Carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right)! The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. "Where did you get this money?"

The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," said the president, I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of
money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"

"Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"

The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president did. The
little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.

"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I
guess you should be absolutely sure."
Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall.
The President asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"

She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 and 10:30 AM today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.

(1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig."

(2) "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of morbid curiosity."

(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."

(4) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."

(5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

(6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

(7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

(9) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

(10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

(11) "This employee should go far...and the sooner he starts, the better."

(12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

(13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

(14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."

(15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

(17) "He's been working with glue too much."

(18) "He would argue with a signpost."

(19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."

(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

(22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored...he's the other one."

(23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

(24) "A prime candidate for natural deselection."

(25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

(26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

(27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

(28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

(29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

(30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."

(31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."

(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."

(33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

(34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

(35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

:1orglaugh

NICE :thumbsup

This has got to be the all-time classic comeback. Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio(NPR)interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

INTERVIEWER: " So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"

GENERAL REINWALD: 'We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."

INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"

GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."

INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"

GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, ....we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they even touch a firearm."

INTERVIEWER: " But you're equipping them to become violent killers."

GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"

The radio went silent and the interview ended!

ok there are my entries.... LMAO

(Must be read with and Italian accent)

One day ima gonna
Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast.
I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only
one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the
toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate.
She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I
don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress
brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna
fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no
understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not
fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my
room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the
manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to
toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He
say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I go to
the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I
say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to
Italy.

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his
wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or
naked?

What is the true definition of innocence?
A nun working at a condom factory who truly believes she is making sleeping bags for mice

:evil-laug :drinkup :Graucho :Kissmy :Hollering :eek7 :eyecrazy

One day three midgets were sitting around the table drinking
tea and having crumpets.

The first midget says to the other two, "You know, I think
I have the smallest hands in the world." He continues, "and
I think I should go down the Guiness Book or World Records
and try to get in the book!"

The second midget replies with, "You know, now that you
mention it, I probably have the smallest feet in the world.
I think I'll go with you and try to get into the record book,
too!"

The third midget joins in with, "I'm going too because I
think I have the smallest penis in the world. Let's go!"

So the midgets set off to the offices of the Guiness Book of
World Records.

When they arrive, the first midget is called in and is gone
for awile. Finally he comes out very excited. "I made it!
They measured my hands, and sure enough they are the smallest
in the world. I'm in the record book!!"

The second midget is called in, and soon he comes out very
excited. "I made it too! They measured my feet and sure
enough, they are the smallest in the world. I'm in the
record book, too!!"

The third midget goes in, is gone a very long time, so long
that his friends became concerned. Finally he appears with a
rather forlorn look on his face.

"What's the matter?", his friends asked.

The third midget responds with "Who the hell is Juicy?!?!!" :Graucho


Sorry Juicy. You know your loved. :thumbsup

a banana and a vibrator are on a sexy ladies Nightstand:
the lady is pleasuring herself and begins to moan...
discussing the situation, the 2 begin to talk,boasting how they
would conclude her primal urges. "oh Ya I will shake until she
goes bezerk..." "Thats Nothing"replies the Banana....
"she wants something she can taste"... Suddenly the ladies
Voice pitch changes.... reaching to the nightstand she needs more
to fulfill her desires... Looking at the Vibrator the banana screams
" what the fuck are you shaking for? Shes gonna eat me!"..
:1orglaugh :thumbsup

NOTE: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 ? Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

Judge # 1 ? A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick!
Judge # 2 ? Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild
Judge # 3 - (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2 ? Arthur's Afterburner Chili

Judge # 1 ? Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 ? Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 ? Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 - Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili.

Judge # 1 ? Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 ? A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers
Judge # 3 ? Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.

Chili # 4 ? Bubba's Black Magic

Judge # 1 ? Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 ? Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge #3 ? 1 felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out tastebuds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. bitch is starting to look HOT ? just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 ? Linda's Legal Lip Remover

Judge # 1 ? Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 ? Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 ? My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Chili # 6 ? Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

Judge # 1 ? Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance
of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 ? The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions,
and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 ? My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 - Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

Judge # 1 ? A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 ? Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 ? You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like shit to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, its too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili #8 - Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili

Judge # 1 ? The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 ? This final entry is a good, balance chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili.

A guy brings his car in to be worked on at the garage. The mechanic can see that he is depressed and asks him what is wrong. The guys states; "I have a mentally retarded daughter and I have hired the greatest teachers from all over the country to try and get her to learn anything, but they have all failed."

The mechanic thinks it over and tells the man that he should leave the daughter with him for one week and he guarantees he can teach her something or he will cover the costs for the work on the car. The man agrees and brings his daughter over.

A week passes.

The man returns and asks the mechanic if he had any success. The mechanic is very proud and indicates for the father to watch.

The mechanic says "wrench" and the retarded girl goes and picks up a wrench and says "wr..e.n..ch...". The father is amazed and asks the mechanic if she can do anything else. The mechanic says; "hammer" and the retarded girl picks up the hammer and says "h.aa..mmm..eerr". The father jumps for joy and startles the retarded girl and she drops the hammer on the mechanics foot and he yells "FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". The father then sees the retarded girl pick up something and she says "Paa..pper Bagg" and places the bag over her head.


Its funnier if heard and not read, but oh well.

Wiggles

It was like Ground Hog Day. He popped out of a hole, and we got four more years of Bush."

:1orglaugh