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05-19-2004, 05:02 PM
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#1 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
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Another Canadian Customs story. (Long Post)
Although I love Canada...The Customs people seriously suck ass. Grab a drink, sit back, and enjoy my latest story.....
A couple of days ago I drove up to Vancouver, BC to pick get MaskedMan and bring him to Seattle to watch the Mariners game. I purchased a bottle of rum at the US duty free store, had a great time in Vancouver, then returned to the US the following day without any issues. This morning we rolled into the duty free store, picked up 3 more bottles, then proceeded through Customs. This is where it started to get fun.  The Customs dude asked about liquor and I gave him an honest answer (at least I thought so at the time...More on this later...) that we had 4 bottles with us. I explained that I had just been through a couple of days before and had not been home to drop off my other bottle. Now he sends us into the office. The cashier bitch decided to help us but all she can do is play 20 question and supply no answers or resolutions. So she has us sit down and wait to speak with an officer. 30 minutes later I approached the counter to see why I had not been contacted yet and she says she will go find out. Then she walked over to an officer, gave him our ID's and explaied the situation. WTF? Why did she not do this 30 minutes ago? Dumb bitch. Now the Customs officer wants me to return 2 of the bottles of booze and search my vehicle. No problem man...Here's the keys....I'll be right back. Off we go to return 2 bottles. Upon return the dude grabs me and sends MaskedMan away. He says we have a bit of a problem and points to a pile of stuff that he has coverd up sitting next to the car. Take a break, sip some beer, then continue on..... Customs dude pulls back the cover and there sits an open bottle of Vodka, a closed bottle of Scotch, and a box of 420 calendars. Dude looks at me and asks for an explanation. The open bottle....Uh...I forgot that was in here. Throw it away if you want. The bottle of Scotch....I bought that in London. It's a gift for my Uncle. It's been in the back for a couple of weeks and I forgot about that too. He tells me he is really concerned about the calendars and askes why I have them. I tell him I was returning the box to my friend. Now the guy starts in about Canadian law Bla bla 80219er alpha tango 7u or some shit like that. As if that means anything to me. He explains that the pot in the pictures sends up a red flag and that he may have to take me in the back, strip me down, and fondle me in places that even my doctors have never approached. (although this sounds like fun, I decide not to mention that to him) Then he will dismantle my car. So he starts in about drug trafficing questions then tells me to go back inside and he will continue his search. If he is satisfied then fine, if not......Well...You get the picture. Oh yeah...Now there are 2 more bottles of alchol involved. So while Barney Fife is sniffing around for drugs, I said fuck it and gave the other 2 bottles to the stupid cashier bitch. Now I have the bottle of Scotch and the bottle I bought a few days ago. After almost 2.5 hours of them fucking around and Immagration asking me about some California ID card that I have never had but they say I do....they decide that I can not enter the country with these calendars and they send me back to the US. US Customs flags me now because I was just turned around by Canadian Customs. Drink break Moving on.......... The US Agent askes me if MaskedMan and I are doing "The boy / boy thing." I said no but that MaskedMan was single and I could see if he was interested. THe Customs dude did not appreciate my humor. He asked why Canada turned us back and I told him about the calendars. He asked more specific questions.....Now US Customs is searching my car. Dude returns and tells me that they will also not allow me into the US with them either and he escorts me over to a trash dumpster to dispose of them. He said "We don't usually do this." To which I replied..."I understand...You and your buddies all want a copy." He says "No, we have better things to do." I answered with "So do I but here we are anyway." Sooooo......On the way back to the office, dude tells me that my tags are expired on the car. Sure as shit...They expired back in February and DMV never sent me notification. He over looks that and we get back into the office. Now he wants to bust my chops about importing textiles into the US. I ask him WTF he is talking about and he refers to a box of 4 PlayboyCash Babydoll shirts. He says that they are clealy not for me and that he can not allow me to import them. Uh........I went 100 feet outside of the US, never left Customs...Where in the fuck do you think I am importing them from you asshole? He "Allows" me to keep them because he knows I am headed right back to Canada but warns me not to return with them. Off we go back to Canadian Customs. We end up with a dude who looks exactly like the first guy. He starts asking me the same fucking questions and I stopped him dead in his tracks and said: "Look man. We were here almost 3 fucking hours ago. You flagged us and sent us into the building. Tell me WTF you want me to do so that I can enter this country, drop off my friend, and get the fuck out because clearly, I am not wanted there. The guy looks at me, tells me that was his identical twin brother and that he is a jerk. Then he tells me to stay as long as I want and to have a nice day. Never even asking for ID. The end.  |
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05-19-2004, 05:08 PM
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#2 |
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Confirmed User
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,311
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so did you and stu end up fucking?
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05-19-2004, 05:12 PM
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#3 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Vancouver ICQ: 3588423
Posts: 808
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Holy fuck arron... In our defense two of those terrorist fuckers made it through the victoria > port angelas border..
So it's pretty tight now, dunno if you remeber the guy caught with bomb making supplies in the back of his car, around y2k. |
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05-19-2004, 05:14 PM
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#4 |
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Confirmed User
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Posts: 3,103
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holy shit, crazy story!
__________________
 Our Programs: StandAhead | IndieBucks | BoyCrushCash | Phoenixxx | EmoProfits | BritishBucks | HunkMoney | LatinoBucks Make $$$ with Gay! Lowest Minimum Payouts in the Business, Perfect Track Record, Amazing Sites |
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05-19-2004, 05:14 PM
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#5 | |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
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Quote:
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05-19-2004, 05:14 PM
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#6 |
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Fuck Checks, CASH only!
Join Date: May 2002
Location: New York City
Posts: 19,422
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i was expecting a longer post
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05-19-2004, 05:14 PM
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#7 |
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Vrume Mark
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Location: Toronto, Canada
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So are you guys doing the boy/boy thing?
DH |
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05-19-2004, 05:15 PM
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#8 |
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The one and only!
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Atlanta, GA
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How come you always have all the fun Aaron?
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05-19-2004, 05:17 PM
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#9 | ||
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Too lazy to set a custom title
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Quote:
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05-19-2004, 05:18 PM
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#10 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Sin City
Posts: 4,463
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Yeah, thats messed up.
It's all worth it for the story though |
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05-19-2004, 05:20 PM
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#11 |
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Reach for those stars!
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 17,991
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Exactly why I have two post office boxes.. one in Canada, one in the States. That way I can decide how to bring stuff through the border.. in person in the car or through the mail. Because some stuff I would really rather not be there while they search through it.
haha twin brothers. I had no idea! That was at Peace Arch? I'll have to keep an eye open for them.
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05-19-2004, 05:20 PM
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#12 |
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Affiliate
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__________________
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05-19-2004, 05:20 PM
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#13 | |
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Orgasms N Such!
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05-19-2004, 05:21 PM
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#14 |
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Registered User
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Location: Vancouver, Europe, NY, Cali
Posts: 55
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ahahah thats fucked up man...sorry to hear that...i had the same prollems a month ago going over to belingham to get a fuckin shirt..my girl and i wuz stopped at the us border had the americans toss salad in my car.....then after few hrs we got in...on the way back form teh states...the american po po were waiting before the canaidan border doing more checks...
fuckin stupid shit ....
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05-19-2004, 05:22 PM
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#15 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: under your bed
Posts: 642
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Aaron...the whole situation has nothing to do with you...It's all Stu's fault.
With that beard, he looks like a terrorist plain and simple. ;) J. |
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05-19-2004, 05:22 PM
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#16 | |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
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Quote:
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05-19-2004, 05:23 PM
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#17 | |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
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Quote:
I don't have your number with me.......How can I reach you? |
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05-19-2004, 05:23 PM
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#18 | |
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So Fucking Banned
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Location: the beach, SoCal
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05-19-2004, 05:26 PM
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#19 | |
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Reach for those stars!
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Quote:
__________________
email: [email protected] |
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05-19-2004, 05:27 PM
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#20 | |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
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Quote:
You live in Canada and can't even spell Canadian correctly. WTF are you doing posting in this forum anyway? Did you not read the rules when you signed up? You need to have 100+ posts before posting here. Go hang with the kids in the Q&A forum for awhile. |
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05-19-2004, 05:28 PM
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#21 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: ICQ:342419601
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Holy shit! Thanks for the laugh.
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05-19-2004, 05:29 PM
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#22 |
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Long time no happy ending
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Diego CA
Posts: 10,578
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too long... so did you & masked Man get butt fucked with strap ons from the female Canadian Custom oficers while you drink Vodka & read the 420 calendars or what?
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05-19-2004, 05:33 PM
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#23 | |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: ┌∩┐ ◣_◢ ┌∩┐
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Quote:
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05-19-2004, 05:37 PM
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#24 |
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The Profiler
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I loved this part too:
Now he wants to bust my chops about importing textiles into the US. I ask him WTF he is talking about and he refers to a box of 4 PlayboyCash Babydoll shirts. He says that they are clealy not for me and that he can not allow me to import them. |
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05-19-2004, 05:37 PM
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#25 | |
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Long time no happy ending
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05-19-2004, 05:43 PM
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#26 |
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GFY'S #1 retard
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Kelowna
Posts: 11,122
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CANADIAN CUSTOMS ARE FULL OF FXCKING ASSHOLES.
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05-19-2004, 05:53 PM
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#27 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: PNW
Posts: 2,204
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Crazy. Thanks for the reminder to clean out the car before I have to go through customs.
__________________
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05-19-2004, 05:56 PM
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#28 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: under your bed
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Quote:
107333723 ;) J. |
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05-19-2004, 05:56 PM
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#29 |
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Confirmed User
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Join Date: Feb 2003
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Aaron...
Thanks for giving me the best laugh I've had today.... Most places in Canada you just drive through the border crossing without them even checking your ID -- all the horror stories I've heard are coming through BC |
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05-19-2004, 05:58 PM
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#30 | |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
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Quote:
I will have MaskedMan contact you. |
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05-19-2004, 06:02 PM
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#31 | |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,014
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05-19-2004, 06:04 PM
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#32 |
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I need a beer
 
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠
Posts: 133,944
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Good to see the hooligans keep getting hassled..
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05-19-2004, 06:15 PM
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#33 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: under your bed
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Quote:
J. |
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05-19-2004, 06:16 PM
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#34 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: canada
Posts: 1,592
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that really sucks aaron! good on ya for keeping your cool though maing.
canadian customs are fucking idiots! i was coming back from vegas and they were hassling me because i bought too much clothes to declare?? this is MY country man and we get that shit just as much as the next person, granted it was at the airport.  |
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05-19-2004, 06:21 PM
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#35 | |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: ┌∩┐ ◣_◢ ┌∩┐
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Quote:
Next time....Just show them your "O" face. |
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05-19-2004, 06:23 PM
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#36 |
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ol' timer
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 4,715
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so does that mean you're staying over night in canadia?
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05-19-2004, 06:25 PM
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#37 |
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WW4L
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: over the river and through the woods
Posts: 10,581
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Wow! What a pain in the ASS!! Does not encourage me to drive to Vancouver anytime soon.
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05-19-2004, 06:33 PM
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#38 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Where It Rains
Posts: 3,875
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dude that is so fucking priceless
__________________
-TaDoW I've Upped My Standards, Up Yours! |
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05-19-2004, 06:34 PM
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#39 |
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ol' timer
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 4,715
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pstt... Hey. I got a shoot at 430 tomorrow. so could you either plan on hitting my place before that. OR after 8.
~B |
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05-19-2004, 06:38 PM
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#40 |
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Confirmed User
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Tempe, AZ
Posts: 409
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Sweetums... You poor guy. I got that same treatment during my employment in Vancouver. I was going back and forth to Seattle every couple of weeks. I got stopped and searched at the truck crossing going to Seattle . They asked and I told them I had BROCCOLI. Yes... I was almost arrested for 2 stems of broccoli.
That adventure took me 3 hours as well. I ended up just giving it to one of the border guards. I hate broccoli anyway . 
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05-19-2004, 07:26 PM
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#41 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2004
Location: the woodwork
Posts: 885
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__________________
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05-19-2004, 08:00 PM
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#42 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: malta
Posts: 12,745
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I dont go to the states anymore.. the world has gone nuts the last few years and crossing over our supposedly open border has become a fucking pain in the ass.
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05-19-2004, 08:03 PM
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#43 | |
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Registered User
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Vancouver, Europe, NY, Cali
Posts: 55
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Quote:
__________________
this shit aint for real, u fukaz are high! ICQ - soon, when i find it |
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05-19-2004, 08:06 PM
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#44 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 220
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My friend was given trouble at the border for a cigarette lighter that the cutoms guy claimed had "resin" on it, and that he should detain her, and blah blah blah...
bag of wind, all of it. Next time, I say you get a hot babe to hide you in the trunk, and drive you through... I bet pretty ladies get waved through all the time ;)
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monica AT monicaweb DOT net |
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05-19-2004, 08:07 PM
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#45 | |
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I'm here for SPORT
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__________________
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog. |
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05-19-2004, 08:09 PM
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#46 | |
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I'm here for SPORT
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2001
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Posts: 41,470
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Quote:
__________________
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog. |
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05-19-2004, 08:09 PM
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#47 |
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Programming King Pin
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Location: Montreal
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Conclusion : Are you gay AaronM ?
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05-19-2004, 08:10 PM
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#48 |
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Confirmed User
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That is one fucked up story dude
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Please Read All Of My Posts In A Sarcastic Tone So You Get The Full Effect!!  HappyPeekers - April |
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05-19-2004, 08:15 PM
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#49 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Global Traveler
Posts: 51,271
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What a story!
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05-19-2004, 08:21 PM
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#50 |
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The Best Ideas Start Here
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 6,037
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Some of you know this story but I guess I'll share it with the others.
One time I was going to through Canadian customs in Vancouver when they told me they weren't going to let me in the country because of some stupid charge I had, that I was never even found guilty of, when I was 12 years younger. Anyway, I begged them to let me in the country because I was on my way to a trade show when finally it hit me. I said, "what are all the ways someone can get in Canada?" They replied telling me that I had to have a visa, residence permit, passport or a work permit. Well, since I didn't have a job there, I wasn't Canadian and they weren't giving me the default visa, I asked them for an application for a residence permit. They then let me fill out the necessary paperwork, pay the 200 dollar fee and enter the country as a "temporary" citizen. Dumbasses.
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