:hi A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion. :zzwhip

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE. :helpme

:arcadefre Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax? :fart

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?" :winkwink:

:Oh crap A. It has a stamp on it. :boid

what if i don't have a paypal account?

:disgust Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections? :thefinger

:ak47: A. A wine and cheese party! :winkwink:

HI Jolly Rancher you lost you Sig

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard. :Oh crap

:winkwink: Q. How do you drown a blonde? :helpme

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

:hi A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool. :boid

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . the worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters. :drinkup

:GFYBand Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio? :angel

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . wookies are offended by your B.O. :boid

.

:Graucho A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too. :moon

:tongue: Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor? :Kissmy

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. :Graucho

:Oh crap A. Oh no :pimp

A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."

The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."

The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.

"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."

The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks.

Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have ever used the force in conjunction with bowling or a spitting contest. :uhoh

:repuke I'm going to fall again! :ak47:

You know you're a redneck when your stair master has an ashtray!

:eatmouse Q. How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? :warning

:question A. There is white out on the screen. :sleep

Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonalds on Friday night in Iowa?
A: Prom.

:stop Q. Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores? :eatmouse

Two women, one from the north and one from the south, are seated next to one another on a plane.
"Where you flyin' to?" says the southern woman. The northern woman turns up her nose.

"Don't you know you should NEVER end a sentence with a preposition?" The southern woman thinks about this for a second.

"Where you flyin' to, bitch?"

:arcadefre A. Open 24 hours a day. :1orglaugh

A new law recently passed in Arkansas.
When a couple is divorced, they can still legally be brother and sister

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a "teethbrush".

:ugone2far Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet? :321GFY

Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

They would just tell the women to try another brother

:uhoh A. To feed the toilet duck! :tongue:

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''
Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''

:xomunch Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses? :Hollering

What do you call the moisture between two people having sex in Alabama?
Relative humidity

Bar... Alabama

This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?"
"No" replied the man, "I'm from Pensylvania." The bartender looks at him and syas "Well what do you do in Pensylvania?"

"I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals."

The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"