Now accepting applications... - Page 3 - GoFuckYourself.com

TurboAngel · 12-30-2003, 08:00 AM

Any luck yet?

Ironhorse · 12-30-2003, 08:13 AM

For $2k I'll wear a suit also!

LasseKongos · 12-30-2003, 08:20 AM

I think you need a Swedish motherfuker to help you....

I am:

-afraid to fly
-???

I am not:

- good in english
- ???

I don´t think I can get this job. I´m overqualified or some shitty word like that...

Thanks!

Honeyslut · 12-30-2003, 10:46 AM

Interesting thread

Rich · 12-30-2003, 11:17 AM

This thread is too funny, some employee of adult.com is looking for a personal assisant, and people believe it's real.

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
my regular personal assistant is on vacation the first week of January, otherwise I would fly her in along with me....

yeah, he has a full time assistant. He only has to pay her 60% of his adult.com salary.

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
Personal Assistance: Keep the cretins at bay. If the people want autographs and handshakes and shit, fine... but make it orderly and control it so I don't get overwhelmed. Don't EVER let them touch the hair.

Autographs? Wake up people, this is a joke. Or else he's more of a lunatic than I realized.

Rictor · 12-30-2003, 11:31 AM

Make it $5k and you've got a deal.

AaronM · 12-30-2003, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
Personal Assistance: Keep the cretins at bay. If the people want autographs and handshakes and shit, fine... but make it orderly and control it so I don't get overwhelmed.

The funny thing is that this kind of shit happens to me all the time. Here is my newly adapted standard answer.

NO! I won't give you a fucking autograph.

Get a life.

Amputate Your Head · 12-30-2003, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rich
This thread is too funny, some employee of adult.com is looking for a personal assisant, and people believe it's real.

Autographs? Wake up people, this is a joke. Or else he's more of a lunatic than I realized.

mad cuz you didn't get an autograph last year?

Keev · 12-30-2003, 12:29 PM

how bout you just let my assistant make your decisions too!

pornJester · 12-30-2003, 12:30 PM

I won't be needing all six of my personal assistants for this show, want to borrow a couple?

Amputate Your Head · 12-30-2003, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pornJester
I won't be needing all six of my personal assistants for this show, want to borrow a couple?

hmm.... that might work. Sure you can spare one or two? I need one that's a real go-getter. A take-charge kinda gal. If you got one that can iron and stuff like that, that'd be awesome man

stocktrader23 · 12-30-2003, 12:54 PM

Unbelievable.

All of you fucking newbs that come on here asking how to convert this and how much money is in that and what thehun eats for breakfast are in a word, retarded.

I fuck around with Amp on here all the time. Do I dislike him? No, I don't even know his ass.

Point being, he could be 10 times the prick you think he is and it would still be worth it to the right person to do this....FOR FREE.

I have no desire to make connections, trade traffic, talk business, or any of the normal webmaster stuff but if I did I would be all over this. Ever heard of a band bitch? They work for beer and the fucking $5 admission into a show.

But what do the typical newbs do in their typical newb fashion? Run their fucking mouths. $1000 is what, 6 months for some of you?

You would be getting paid to be around all of the higher ups that you dream about every night while you jerk.

Oh well, keep bitching and moaning and hopefully somebody that is serious about this business but just starting out will take Amp up on this offer and get some connections that might last a lifetime.

Cheers fuckers

Pleasurepays · 12-30-2003, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
this is a time limited position, however, the chosen one will be first in line for future consideration.

I'm looking for a personal assistant for the Vegas show.

Duties include, (but may not be limited to):

Scheduling. To include dinners, events, appearances, shows, parites, etc...

Conferences: Not so much pre-planned conferences, but more the one-on-one type stuff.

Meals: Make it happen. I don't wanna have to think about it.

Shows: Whatever I want. Find the damn tickets and make it happen. I'm far too busy to deal with it. Excuses....? Leave them at home. Can't handle it? Don't apply.

Personal Assistance: Keep the cretins at bay. If the people want autographs and handshakes and shit, fine... but make it orderly and control it so I don't get overwhelmed. Don't EVER let them touch the hair.

Perks: My assistant will accompany me everywhere I go, be privy to my personal conversations, have an in-depth look into a section of the "life of AMp", be considered for future operations, and have full attendance wherever I go.

This is open for the next two days ONLY.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
requires excessive admiration
4) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
5) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
6) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
7) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
8) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Amputate Your Head · 12-30-2003, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pleasurepays

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Diagnostic Criteria

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
requires excessive admiration
4) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
5) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
6) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
7) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
8) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

your application has been rejected.

pink_in_the_middle · 12-30-2003, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
this is a time limited position, however, the chosen one will be first in line for future consideration.

I'm looking for a personal assistant for the Vegas show.

Duties include, (but may not be limited to):

Scheduling. To include dinners, events, appearances, shows, parites, etc...

Conferences: Not so much pre-planned conferences, but more the one-on-one type stuff.

Meals: Make it happen. I don't wanna have to think about it.

Shows: Whatever I want. Find the damn tickets and make it happen. I'm far too busy to deal with it. Excuses....? Leave them at home. Can't handle it? Don't apply.

Personal Assistance: Keep the cretins at bay. If the people want autographs and handshakes and shit, fine... but make it orderly and control it so I don't get overwhelmed. Don't EVER let them touch the hair.

Perks: My assistant will accompany me everywhere I go, be privy to my personal conversations, have an in-depth look into a section of the "life of AMp", be considered for future operations, and have full attendance wherever I go.

This is open for the next two days ONLY.

This is a joke right? It's a funny one though I must admit

Brujah · 12-30-2003, 01:11 PM

Amp seems to admit he's somewhat lazy and unorganized and just doesn't want to deal with any of the arrangements and shit himself. He's willing to pay someone else $1000 to do it. His demands are serious enough to hopefully weed out other lazy fuckers. That leaves him with someone who has a decent work ethic and will get the shit done for him.

Definitely worth paying someone $1000 to handle it for you. Or, he could just tag along with someone else. Don't they have guides available too that handle everything like this anyway ?

Pleasurepays · 12-30-2003, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

your application has been rejected.

jasonir · 12-30-2003, 01:18 PM

ROFLMAO ^^^

Amputate Your Head · 12-30-2003, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pleasurepays

hmmm.... ok, that was semi-creative. You're back in the application pool.

Holly · 12-30-2003, 01:36 PM

I would do this, but only if I also got to see you naked.

webgurl · 12-30-2003, 01:50 PM

Interesting ......... Hehehehe
This is a job that a

should do , if a guy does something like that he'll get zero respect

MetaformX · 12-30-2003, 02:06 PM

Not only do you not hav to pay me AMP, I will pay you just for the pleasure of being in your company. You are a great man, maybe the greatest of men that has ever lived.

Amputate Your Head · 12-30-2003, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MetaformX
Not only do you not hav to pay me AMP, I will pay you just for the pleasure of being in your company. You are a great man, maybe the greatest of men that has ever lived.

finally, someone has come to their senses.

TheJimmy · 12-30-2003, 02:10 PM

has [Labret] applied for this yet?

Herb Kornfield · 12-30-2003, 02:13 PM

hit me at 160541645......

You'll be insanely organized and totally on time, in place and all your shit on lockdown 24-7 without a single mistake or thought made on your part other than just doing AMP things.

Loryn · 12-30-2003, 02:15 PM

I would do it. I am thicked skinned, a hard worker and I like things done yesterday. But I have a job already.

I can't believe no one is taking this offer. I agree with Stocktrader23. You people are missing out bigtime!!!

skyb0lt · 12-31-2003, 08:59 AM

Well, I for one would do it, but I would mostly get drunk and break your shit. Dont think that would go over to well:>

Good luck finding someone, hope to get your autograph while I am there :>

SkyB0lt

skyb0lt · 12-31-2003, 09:01 AM

Now this is funny!!

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...hreadid=214771

SkyB0lt

jimthefiend · 12-31-2003, 09:04 AM

tell you what im gonna do:

you fly me into vegas and ill make sure no one beats on you or tea bags ya while youre passed out drunk.

deal?

BradShaw · 12-31-2003, 09:05 AM

Amp wins the award for 2003. Biggest ego with smallest paycheck.

EZRhino · 12-31-2003, 09:08 AM

Didnt Donald Trump do this on TV

SoundMan · 12-31-2003, 09:54 AM

good reading material..popcorn is out.

Here would be a reply Amp Would Like!

I will be your Fucking Bitch! will wipe your ass
if needed and will kick ass as I have a 7th
degree black belt to save your ass when
needed, $200.00 extra per ass kicking!

Hey all you fucking other Punks This
job is mine! Stay the fuck back Jack!
You apply for this I will kick your ass!

Also Amp I have my own insurance so
when you Fucking Loose shit I can just
Fucking make an insurance claim.
Now that Fucking Rocks Ahea Bro?

This Job is mine Fuck off or I will ask
Amp To fucking Ban your Ass Punk.

****************************

12-30-2003, 08:13 AM	#102
Ironhorse Pixel Pusher Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 7,093	For $2k I'll wear a suit also! __________________ [email protected]

12-30-2003, 10:46 AM	#104
Honeyslut Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Ass Valley, Ca Posts: 6,436	Interesting thread __________________ http://nakedlunchnews.comWhat's up ? Naked Lunch News !

12-30-2003, 12:29 PM	#109
Keev Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 5,335	how bout you just let my assistant make your decisions too! __________________ ReliableServers.com - NO REF LINK!

12-30-2003, 12:30 PM	#110
pornJester Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Florida Posts: 6,138	I won't be needing all six of my personal assistants for this show, want to borrow a couple? __________________ FreshBucks \| Webmaster Vault \| GayAW Trusted Names in Adult. ICQ 9157.3698

12-30-2003, 12:54 PM	#112
stocktrader23 Let's do some business. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The dirty south. Posts: 18,781	Unbelievable. All of you fucking newbs that come on here asking how to convert this and how much money is in that and what thehun eats for breakfast are in a word, retarded. I fuck around with Amp on here all the time. Do I dislike him? No, I don't even know his ass. Point being, he could be 10 times the prick you think he is and it would still be worth it to the right person to do this....FOR FREE. I have no desire to make connections, trade traffic, talk business, or any of the normal webmaster stuff but if I did I would be all over this. Ever heard of a band bitch? They work for beer and the fucking $5 admission into a show. But what do the typical newbs do in their typical newb fashion? Run their fucking mouths. $1000 is what, 6 months for some of you? You would be getting paid to be around all of the higher ups that you dream about every night while you jerk. Oh well, keep bitching and moaning and hopefully somebody that is serious about this business but just starting out will take Amp up on this offer and get some connections that might last a lifetime. Cheers fuckers __________________ Hands Free Adult - Join Once, Earn For Life "I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be."

12-30-2003, 08:00 AM	#101
TurboAngel H.B.I.C. Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: NC Posts: 30,122	Any luck yet?

12-30-2003, 08:20 AM	#103
LasseKongos Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,668	I think you need a Swedish motherfuker to help you.... I am: -afraid to fly -??? I am not: - good in english - ??? I don´t think I can get this job. I´m overqualified or some shitty word like that... Thanks!

12-30-2003, 11:31 AM	#106
Rictor Old Timer Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 12,208	Make it $5k and you've got a deal.

12-30-2003, 01:11 PM	#116
Brujah Beer Money Baron Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: brujah / gmail Posts: 22,157	Amp seems to admit he's somewhat lazy and unorganized and just doesn't want to deal with any of the arrangements and shit himself. He's willing to pay someone else $1000 to do it. His demands are serious enough to hopefully weed out other lazy fuckers. That leaves him with someone who has a decent work ethic and will get the shit done for him. Definitely worth paying someone $1000 to handle it for you. Or, he could just tag along with someone else. Don't they have guides available too that handle everything like this anyway ? __________________ Free Premium Domain Lists and Tools at Clickmojo.com For Sale: Obscenity.com

12-30-2003, 01:18 PM	#118
jasonir Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Toro'no Posts: 1,887	ROFLMAO ^^^

12-30-2003, 01:36 PM	#120
Holly Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Jesusland Posts: 10,017	I would do this, but only if I also got to see you naked. __________________ War National Damn Champions Eagle

12-30-2003, 01:50 PM	#121
webgurl Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Clouds with Carebears Posts: 7,954	Interesting ......... Hehehehe This is a job that a should do , if a guy does something like that he'll get zero respect

12-30-2003, 02:06 PM	#122
MetaformX Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 6,704	Not only do you not hav to pay me AMP, I will pay you just for the pleasure of being in your company. You are a great man, maybe the greatest of men that has ever lived. __________________

12-30-2003, 02:10 PM	#124
TheJimmy ICQ- five seven 0 2 5 5 0 Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 10,747	has [Labret] applied for this yet? __________________ Investor with 5m - 15m USD to invest. Do you have a site or network of sites earning 50k - 200k a month income? Email your contact and preliminary data to: domain.cashventures (at) gmail.com....Please...no tire kickers...serious offers and inquiries only.

12-30-2003, 02:13 PM	#125
Herb Kornfield Is on the 1 Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Philly Burbs Posts: 4,996	hit me at 160541645...... You'll be insanely organized and totally on time, in place and all your shit on lockdown 24-7 without a single mistake or thought made on your part other than just doing AMP things.

12-30-2003, 02:15 PM	#126
Loryn Super Connector Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 12,853	I would do it. I am thicked skinned, a hard worker and I like things done yesterday. But I have a job already. I can't believe no one is taking this offer. I agree with Stocktrader23. You people are missing out bigtime!!! __________________ ~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~ RIP TD

12-31-2003, 08:59 AM	#127
skyb0lt Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Central Florida Posts: 29	Well, I for one would do it, but I would mostly get drunk and break your shit. Dont think that would go over to well:> Good luck finding someone, hope to get your autograph while I am there :> SkyB0lt

12-31-2003, 09:01 AM	#128
skyb0lt Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Central Florida Posts: 29	Now this is funny!! http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...hreadid=214771 SkyB0lt

12-31-2003, 09:04 AM	#129
jimthefiend So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: icq: 121189 Posts: 18,889	tell you what im gonna do: you fly me into vegas and ill make sure no one beats on you or tea bags ya while youre passed out drunk. deal?

12-31-2003, 09:05 AM	#130
BradShaw Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: KB's trailer Posts: 7,840	Amp wins the award for 2003. Biggest ego with smallest paycheck. __________________ Sig too big http://www.gofuckyourself.com/gfy_faqs.html Want to use a large banner in your sig??? Contact Eric about getting on as an advertiser - eric AT adult.com

12-31-2003, 09:08 AM	#131
EZRhino Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: couch Posts: 6,258	Didnt Donald Trump do this on TV

12-31-2003, 09:54 AM	#132
SoundMan So Fucking Banned Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: MidWest Posts: 3,471	good reading material..popcorn is out. Here would be a reply Amp Would Like! I will be your Fucking Bitch! will wipe your ass if needed and will kick ass as I have a 7th degree black belt to save your ass when needed, $200.00 extra per ass kicking! Hey all you fucking other Punks This job is mine! Stay the fuck back Jack! You apply for this I will kick your ass! Also Amp I have my own insurance so when you Fucking Loose shit I can just Fucking make an insurance claim. Now that Fucking Rocks Ahea Bro? This Job is mine Fuck off or I will ask Amp To fucking Ban your Ass Punk. ****************************