More Key Employees leave Lightspeed - GoFuckYourself.com

Zebra · 03-04-2003, 09:53 AM

Lightspeed Cash is sad to announce the departure of Tom the Culligan Man and Helga and Bella the housecleaners. No longer will those who visit the Lightspeed offices be able to enjoy clean sparkling water from Tom. No longer will they be able to see out the windows that were once washed by Helga or walk upon the clean carpet that was vaccumed by Bella.
We are sad to see them go and will miss them deeply.
We are proud to say that we were able to negotiate with Joe the pool guy and Sam the Orkin man and they WILL be staying! Hooray!

When will the revolving door at Lightspeed end?
Will YOU be next?
Will Luke Ford report YOUR career move?
Will anyone care?
Will Michael Jackson pay to have a Voodoo Curse put on you?
Beware!

SteveLightspeed · 03-04-2003, 09:57 AM

The title of this thread should have read "Lightspeed Cleans His Own House!"

JFK · 03-04-2003, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zebra
Lightspeed Cash is sad to announce the departure of Tom the Culligan Man and Helga and Bella the housecleaners. No longer will those who visit the Lightspeed offices be able to enjoy clean sparkling water from Tom. No longer will they be able to see out the windows that were once washed by Helga or walk upon the clean carpet that was vaccumed by Bella.
We are sad to see them go and will miss them deeply.
We are proud to say that we were able to negotiate with Joe the pool guy and Sam the Orkin man and they WILL be staying! Hooray!

When will the revolving door at Lightspeed end?
Will YOU be next?
Will Luke Ford report YOUR career move?
Will anyone care?
Will Michael Jackson pay to have a Voodoo Curse put on you?
Beware!

Nothing worse than getting rug burns on a dirty carpet !

Zebra · 03-04-2003, 09:58 AM

I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon

Kimmykim · 03-04-2003, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lightspeed
The title of this thread should have read "Lightspeed Cleans His Own House!"

Dude I thought you guys got kicked out of that house. You're losing more than employees these days ;)

Rick Latona · 03-04-2003, 10:11 AM

Helga will certainly be missed by me. She was a real ASSet to you company.

BT · 03-04-2003, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zebra
I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon

From what i remember of your house where you work from... I could see a nice Toga party going on there... "animal house style" for all your top 25 webmaster.... hehe 50 kegs and 25 crack whores.... LMAO AZ has the best weather in the states...

sweetums · 03-04-2003, 10:15 AM

HAHAHHAHA....will the madness never end?

SteveLightspeed · 03-04-2003, 10:25 AM

Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!

I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous!

playa · 03-04-2003, 10:40 AM

what about Brown the UPS man?

Zebra · 03-04-2003, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by playa
what about Brown the UPS man?

Outside Contractor..

burn · 03-04-2003, 10:45 AM

Lightspeed will you hire me?

FlyingIguana · 03-04-2003, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zebra
I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon

hey, there's an idea for a new site

JFK · 03-04-2003, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lightspeed
Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!

I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous!

As we all know Lightspeed needs a GOOD haircut , BADLY , lets take up a collection !! Almost happened in Jamaica !

buran · 03-04-2003, 11:22 AM

Hah, that picture must be someone feeling the hole in Steve's head... hehehe

AkiraSS · 03-04-2003, 11:22 AM

I want Lightspeed to buy me a Yamaha R6

if you're interested, I'll send ya my wire info

Zebra · 03-04-2003, 11:22 AM

Nothing like a good Jamaica Phrenologist to help figure out a troubled mind

Sly_RJ · 03-04-2003, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lightspeed
Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!

I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous!

Hair stylist?

Buahaha!

LadyMischief · 03-04-2003, 11:27 AM

Hire me. I'll vacuum naked.. or something.

JFK · 03-04-2003, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LadyMischief
Hire me. I'll vacuum naked.. or something.

ok which one .......vacuum naked??.........or something?
Btw how many psi suction can we count on?

traffictrader · 03-04-2003, 02:26 PM

i hope helga will come work for us, My boss only cleans up if he has a new girl coming over. And now that he has a steady girlfriend we wont be seeing cleanlyness for quite awhile.

RAM · 03-04-2003, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lightspeed
Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!

I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous!

Steve have no fear I will set you up with a hair cut just like mine. When I'm at the "Phoenix Forum - Bash" No worries about John all you need is a Mach III.

Nina · 03-04-2003, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zebra
I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon

Please do

Ron2k1 · 03-04-2003, 04:38 PM

I think your affiliate webmasters are the most important employees at lightspeed.

No Lightspeedcash without them...

PerfectionGirls · 03-04-2003, 05:54 PM

What about the dildo cleaner? Is she gone too? I know that big green one needed a washing.

blakkfrogg · 03-04-2003, 06:08 PM

Dildos need cleaning? OK.. I have two possible responses:

1) Huh? Really? I thought all you had to do was dip them back in and everything was all better????

2) Big green one? Um... sounds like something that would come out of a nose, not go up a vagina!

AdultWebGraphics · 03-04-2003, 07:22 PM

What about the lawn mower guy?

SteveLightspeed · 03-04-2003, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AdultWebGraphics
What about the lawn mower guy?

The lawn guy is loyal as a dog -- he knows which side of the fence really has the greener grass. (oh a pun, i'm on a roll!)

Zebra · 12-05-2003, 08:26 AM

I hear that turd is going to be the next Lightspeed Girl.
We expect turd to be such a hit that we may be able to hire Tom, Bella, and Helga back!

LeeNoga · 12-05-2003, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lightspeed
Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!!

Nice damage control spin :-)))

Paul Markham · 12-05-2003, 09:54 AM

I hope this is all a GFY drama.

How is the fight with Acacia going Steve?

We all have to support the guys fighting, because while they are shelling out money to lawyers for all our benefits, some rats who took the easy route are laughing at us.

Stop sending money to the rats and support the fighters.

Steve get Richard to contact me I just decided you are no longer allowed to buy content from us.

IT'S FREE TO YOU.

Tala · 12-05-2003, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zebra
I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon

LadyMischief · 12-05-2003, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zebra
Lightspeed Cash is sad to announce the departure of Tom the Culligan Man and Helga and Bella the housecleaners. No longer will those who visit the Lightspeed offices be able to enjoy clean sparkling water from Tom. No longer will they be able to see out the windows that were once washed by Helga or walk upon the clean carpet that was vaccumed by Bella.
We are sad to see them go and will miss them deeply.
We are proud to say that we were able to negotiate with Joe the pool guy and Sam the Orkin man and they WILL be staying! Hooray!

When will the revolving door at Lightspeed end?
Will YOU be next?
Will Luke Ford report YOUR career move?
Will anyone care?
Will Michael Jackson pay to have a Voodoo Curse put on you?
Beware!

Well I'd say you can hire me.. but I think someone would get a little upset about that. Maybe he'll share me with you? I wanna be cool too. I don't vaccuum though.

LadyMischief · 12-05-2003, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lightspeed

The lawn guy is loyal as a dog -- he knows which side of the fence really has the greener grass. (oh a pun, i'm on a roll!)

Yeah, but does he mind all the smelly parts in between? If so, I might have to hire him out from under you!

BradShaw · 12-05-2003, 10:11 AM

Always good to use humor to "spin" with.

Ludedude · 12-05-2003, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BradShaw
Always good to use humor to "spin" with.

especially in a 9 month old thread

TheGoldenChild · 12-05-2003, 10:48 AM

Will someone at Lightspeed hire me?

I haven't been let go in a while!
Forgot what it's like :-))

XxXotic · 12-05-2003, 10:53 AM

it's not any fun till lightspeed starts hiring people specifically to fire them

Babaganoosh · 12-05-2003, 10:54 AM

FUCK!

Lightspeed just canned me too.

Fine you bastards, I'm sure someone else needs me to do as much nothing as I did for you.

RAM · 12-05-2003, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zebra
Lightspeed Cash is sad to announce the departure of Tom the Culligan Man and Helga and Bella the housecleaners. No longer will those who visit the Lightspeed offices be able to enjoy clean sparkling water from Tom. No longer will they be able to see out the windows that were once washed by Helga or walk upon the clean carpet that was vaccumed by Bella.
We are sad to see them go and will miss them deeply.
We are proud to say that we were able to negotiate with Joe the pool guy and Sam the Orkin man and they WILL be staying! Hooray!

When will the revolving door at Lightspeed end?
Will YOU be next?
Will Luke Ford report YOUR career move?
Will anyone care?
Will Michael Jackson pay to have a Voodoo Curse put on you?
Beware!

But RAM will still run around in LS Gear....YOU BET

clubsexy · 12-05-2003, 03:51 PM

Losing employees is hard on any company

$5 submissions · 12-05-2003, 04:46 PM

This is hilarious shit. Great advertising for Lightspeedcash, by the way!!! Very selective program--you have to have references to join their PPS. I agree--smart way to do business, weeds out cheaters, and also increases ROI--you only recruit semi- or proven webmasters. Best of luck to Lightspeedcash.

SleazyDream · 12-05-2003, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lightspeed
Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!

I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous!

now i can't get an image of steve with dreads like dugmor out of my head

Cole Montana · 12-05-2003, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RAM

But RAM will still run around in LS Gear....YOU BET

Ram, no matter what, you know we still love ya brah!

corvette · 12-05-2003, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RAM

But RAM will still run around in LS Gear....YOU BET

you call that gear?

corvette · 12-05-2003, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cole Montana

Ram, no matter what, you know we still love ya brah!

whats up cole?

))

03-04-2003, 09:53 AM	#1
Zebra Banned from Kimmy's couch Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Down at Fraggle Rock Posts: 5,091	More Key Employees leave Lightspeed Lightspeed Cash is sad to announce the departure of Tom the Culligan Man and Helga and Bella the housecleaners. No longer will those who visit the Lightspeed offices be able to enjoy clean sparkling water from Tom. No longer will they be able to see out the windows that were once washed by Helga or walk upon the clean carpet that was vaccumed by Bella. We are sad to see them go and will miss them deeply. We are proud to say that we were able to negotiate with Joe the pool guy and Sam the Orkin man and they WILL be staying! Hooray! When will the revolving door at Lightspeed end? Will YOU be next? Will Luke Ford report YOUR career move? Will anyone care? Will Michael Jackson pay to have a Voodoo Curse put on you? Beware! __________________ Old School

03-04-2003, 09:57 AM	#2
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	The title of this thread should have read "Lightspeed Cleans His Own House!" __________________ Abra-cadabra!

03-04-2003, 09:58 AM	#4
Zebra Banned from Kimmy's couch Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Down at Fraggle Rock Posts: 5,091	I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon __________________ Old School

03-04-2003, 10:11 AM	#6
Rick Latona The Best Ideas Start Here Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Atlanta Posts: 6,037	Helga will certainly be missed by me. She was a real ASSet to you company. __________________ Regards, Rick Latona http://latonas.com Latona's - We Sell Money Making Web Properties Note to buyers of websites and traffic: please check our inventory at http://latonas.com/websites-for-sale. If you would like to make an offer on something, just let me know.

03-04-2003, 10:15 AM	#8
sweetums Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Icy Hellish Tundra Posts: 2,534	HAHAHHAHA....will the madness never end? __________________ ICQ: 114549321

03-04-2003, 10:25 AM	#9
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED! I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous! __________________ Abra-cadabra!

03-04-2003, 10:40 AM	#10
playa Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: atlanta, GA Posts: 6,432	what about Brown the UPS man?

03-04-2003, 10:45 AM	#12
burn Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 507	Lightspeed will you hire me? __________________ Trade traffic with my sites!

03-04-2003, 11:22 AM	#15
buran Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: how'd I get here? Posts: 264	Hah, that picture must be someone feeling the hole in Steve's head... hehehe __________________ [this signature intentionally left blank]

03-04-2003, 11:22 AM	#16
AkiraSS Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: ICQ: 17630227 Posts: 2,988	I want Lightspeed to buy me a Yamaha R6 if you're interested, I'll send ya my wire info

03-04-2003, 11:27 AM	#19
LadyMischief Orgasms N Such! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Oakville, Ontario Posts: 18,135	Hire me. I'll vacuum naked.. or something. __________________ ICQ 3522039 Content Manager - orgasm.com [email protected]

03-04-2003, 02:26 PM	#21
traffictrader Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: ICQ# 93507395 Posts: 1,331	i hope helga will come work for us, My boss only cleans up if he has a new girl coming over. And now that he has a steady girlfriend we wont be seeing cleanlyness for quite awhile. __________________

03-04-2003, 04:38 PM	#24
Ron2k1 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 1,573	I think your affiliate webmasters are the most important employees at lightspeed. No Lightspeedcash without them...

03-04-2003, 05:54 PM	#25
PerfectionGirls Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: MI Posts: 4,484	What about the dildo cleaner? Is she gone too? I know that big green one needed a washing. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

03-04-2003, 06:08 PM	#26
blakkfrogg Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: South of sobriety Posts: 582	Dildos need cleaning? OK.. I have two possible responses: 1) Huh? Really? I thought all you had to do was dip them back in and everything was all better???? 2) Big green one? Um... sounds like something that would come out of a nose, not go up a vagina! __________________ - Blakk Frogg * Blakk Frogg Sex Blog * * Wyldsites Sex Blogs * * * Blakk Frogg Joke Blog So anyways, this Frogg is looking for smaller traffic trades. Trying to get back into the swing of things, ya' know?

03-04-2003, 07:22 PM	#27
AdultWebGraphics Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 980	What about the lawn mower guy?

12-05-2003, 08:26 AM	#29
Zebra Banned from Kimmy's couch Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Down at Fraggle Rock Posts: 5,091	I hear that turd is going to be the next Lightspeed Girl. We expect turd to be such a hit that we may be able to hire Tom, Bella, and Helga back! __________________ Old School

12-05-2003, 09:54 AM	#31
Paul Markham Too old to care Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws. Posts: 52,943	I hope this is all a GFY drama. How is the fight with Acacia going Steve? We all have to support the guys fighting, because while they are shelling out money to lawyers for all our benefits, some rats who took the easy route are laughing at us. Stop sending money to the rats and support the fighters. Steve get Richard to contact me I just decided you are no longer allowed to buy content from us. IT'S FREE TO YOU. __________________ Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500. PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

12-05-2003, 10:11 AM	#35
BradShaw Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: KB's trailer Posts: 7,840	Always good to use humor to "spin" with. __________________ Sig too big http://www.gofuckyourself.com/gfy_faqs.html Want to use a large banner in your sig??? Contact Eric about getting on as an advertiser - eric AT adult.com

12-05-2003, 10:48 AM	#37
TheGoldenChild Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Pacific Palisades Posts: 6,940	Will someone at Lightspeed hire me? I haven't been let go in a while! Forgot what it's like :-)) __________________

12-05-2003, 10:53 AM	#38
XxXotic Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Da Swamps Posts: 8,500	it's not any fun till lightspeed starts hiring people specifically to fire them __________________ Sponsors.. Tired of people not using your shitty RSS Feeds? Let Us Help You! Oxeo - Serious Hosting For Serious Webmasters. iCQ:135.887013

12-05-2003, 10:54 AM	#39
Babaganoosh ♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: /home Posts: 15,841	FUCK! Lightspeed just canned me too. Fine you bastards, I'm sure someone else needs me to do as much nothing as I did for you. __________________ I like pie.

12-05-2003, 03:51 PM	#41
clubsexy Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Anaheim, CA Posts: 1,630	Losing employees is hard on any company __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

12-05-2003, 04:46 PM	#42
$5 submissions I help you SUCCEED Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Pearl of the Orient Seas Posts: 32,195	This is hilarious shit. Great advertising for Lightspeedcash, by the way!!! Very selective program--you have to have references to join their PPS. I agree--smart way to do business, weeds out cheaters, and also increases ROI--you only recruit semi- or proven webmasters. Best of luck to Lightspeedcash. __________________ Need a NON-ADULT income stream? We build your YOUTUBE CHANNEL for only $20 per video! For Hire: $3/hour or $400 per month Marketing Specialist Virtual Assistants