More Key Employees leave Lightspeed - GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

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Zebra

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#1

More Key Employees leave Lightspeed

03-04-2003, 07:53 AM

Lightspeed Cash is sad to announce the departure of Tom the Culligan Man and Helga and Bella the housecleaners. No longer will those who visit the Lightspeed offices be able to enjoy clean sparkling water from Tom. No longer will they be able to see out the windows that were once washed by Helga or walk upon the clean carpet that was vaccumed by Bella.
We are sad to see them go and will miss them deeply.
We are proud to say that we were able to negotiate with Joe the pool guy and Sam the Orkin man and they WILL be staying! Hooray!

When will the revolving door at Lightspeed end?
Will YOU be next?
Will Luke Ford report YOUR career move?
Will anyone care?
Will Michael Jackson pay to have a Voodoo Curse put on you?
Beware!

Old School
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SteveLightspeed

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#2

03-04-2003, 07:57 AM

The title of this thread should have read "Lightspeed Cleans His Own House!"

Abra-cadabra!
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JFK

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#3

03-04-2003, 07:57 AM

Originally posted by Zebra
Lightspeed Cash is sad to announce the departure of Tom the Culligan Man and Helga and Bella the housecleaners. No longer will those who visit the Lightspeed offices be able to enjoy clean sparkling water from Tom. No longer will they be able to see out the windows that were once washed by Helga or walk upon the clean carpet that was vaccumed by Bella.
We are sad to see them go and will miss them deeply.
We are proud to say that we were able to negotiate with Joe the pool guy and Sam the Orkin man and they WILL be staying! Hooray!

When will the revolving door at Lightspeed end?
Will YOU be next?
Will Luke Ford report YOUR career move?
Will anyone care?
Will Michael Jackson pay to have a Voodoo Curse put on you?
Beware!

Nothing worse than getting rug burns on a dirty carpet !

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For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com
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Zebra

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#4

03-04-2003, 07:58 AM

I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon

Old School
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Kimmykim

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#5

03-04-2003, 08:07 AM

Originally posted by Lightspeed
The title of this thread should have read "Lightspeed Cleans His Own House!"

Dude I thought you guys got kicked out of that house. You're losing more than employees these days ;)
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Rick Latona

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#6

03-04-2003, 08:11 AM

Helga will certainly be missed by me. She was a real ASSet to you company.

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#7

03-04-2003, 08:12 AM

Originally posted by Zebra
I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon

From what i remember of your house where you work from... I could see a nice Toga party going on there... "animal house style" for all your top 25 webmaster.... hehe 50 kegs and 25 crack whores.... LMAO AZ has the best weather in the states...

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sweetums

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#8

03-04-2003, 08:15 AM

HAHAHHAHA....will the madness never end?

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SteveLightspeed

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#9

03-04-2003, 08:25 AM

Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!

I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous!

Abra-cadabra!
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playa

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#10

03-04-2003, 08:40 AM

what about Brown the UPS man?
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Zebra

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#11

03-04-2003, 08:42 AM

Originally posted by playa
what about Brown the UPS man?

Outside Contractor..

Old School
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burn

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#12

03-04-2003, 08:45 AM

Lightspeed will you hire me?

Trade traffic with my sites!
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#13

03-04-2003, 08:49 AM

Originally posted by Zebra
I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon

hey, there's an idea for a new site
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JFK

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#14

03-04-2003, 09:19 AM

Originally posted by Lightspeed
Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!

I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous!

As we all know Lightspeed needs a GOOD haircut , BADLY , lets take up a collection !! Almost happened in Jamaica !

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buran

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#15

03-04-2003, 09:22 AM

Hah, that picture must be someone feeling the hole in Steve's head... hehehe

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AkiraSS

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#16

03-04-2003, 09:22 AM

I want Lightspeed to buy me a Yamaha R6

if you're interested, I'll send ya my wire info
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Zebra

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#17

03-04-2003, 09:22 AM

Nothing like a good Jamaica Phrenologist to help figure out a troubled mind

Old School
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Sly_RJ

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#18

03-04-2003, 09:23 AM

Originally posted by Lightspeed
Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!

I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous!

Hair stylist?

Buahaha!

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LadyMischief

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#19

03-04-2003, 09:27 AM

Hire me. I'll vacuum naked.. or something.

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JFK

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#20

03-04-2003, 12:20 PM

Originally posted by LadyMischief
Hire me. I'll vacuum naked.. or something.

ok which one .......vacuum naked??.........or something?
Btw how many psi suction can we count on?

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traffictrader

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#21

03-04-2003, 12:26 PM

i hope helga will come work for us, My boss only cleans up if he has a new girl coming over. And now that he has a steady girlfriend we wont be seeing cleanlyness for quite awhile.
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RAM

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#22

03-04-2003, 12:33 PM

Originally posted by Lightspeed
Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!

I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous!

Steve have no fear I will set you up with a hair cut just like mine. When I'm at the "Phoenix Forum - Bash" No worries about John all you need is a Mach III.

RAM

Fucking Machines are like CASH MACHINES

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#23

03-04-2003, 12:35 PM

Originally posted by Zebra
I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon

Please do
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Ron2k1

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#24

03-04-2003, 02:38 PM

I think your affiliate webmasters are the most important employees at lightspeed.

No Lightspeedcash without them...
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#25

03-04-2003, 03:54 PM

What about the dildo cleaner? Is she gone too? I know that big green one needed a washing.

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#26

03-04-2003, 04:08 PM

Dildos need cleaning? OK.. I have two possible responses:

1) Huh? Really? I thought all you had to do was dip them back in and everything was all better????

2) Big green one? Um... sounds like something that would come out of a nose, not go up a vagina!

- Blakk Frogg

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#27

03-04-2003, 05:22 PM

What about the lawn mower guy?
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SteveLightspeed

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#28

03-04-2003, 05:25 PM

Originally posted by AdultWebGraphics
What about the lawn mower guy?

The lawn guy is loyal as a dog -- he knows which side of the fence really has the greener grass. (oh a pun, i'm on a roll!)

Abra-cadabra!
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Zebra

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#29

12-05-2003, 06:26 AM

I hear that turd is going to be the next Lightspeed Girl.
We expect turd to be such a hit that we may be able to hire Tom, Bella, and Helga back!

Old School
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LeeNoga

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#30

12-05-2003, 06:28 AM

Originally posted by Lightspeed
Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!!

Nice damage control spin :-)))
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Paul Markham

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#31

12-05-2003, 07:54 AM

I hope this is all a GFY drama.

How is the fight with Acacia going Steve?

We all have to support the guys fighting, because while they are shelling out money to lawyers for all our benefits, some rats who took the easy route are laughing at us.

Stop sending money to the rats and support the fighters.

Steve get Richard to contact me I just decided you are no longer allowed to buy content from us.

IT'S FREE TO YOU.

Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500.
PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70
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#32

12-05-2003, 07:58 AM

Originally posted by Zebra
I'll post pics of Lightspeed in a French Maid outfit soon

ICQ: 11120676 | Google: mindcrime | Skype: suitemindcrime|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.
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LadyMischief

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#33

12-05-2003, 08:04 AM

Originally posted by Zebra
Lightspeed Cash is sad to announce the departure of Tom the Culligan Man and Helga and Bella the housecleaners. No longer will those who visit the Lightspeed offices be able to enjoy clean sparkling water from Tom. No longer will they be able to see out the windows that were once washed by Helga or walk upon the clean carpet that was vaccumed by Bella.
We are sad to see them go and will miss them deeply.
We are proud to say that we were able to negotiate with Joe the pool guy and Sam the Orkin man and they WILL be staying! Hooray!

When will the revolving door at Lightspeed end?
Will YOU be next?
Will Luke Ford report YOUR career move?
Will anyone care?
Will Michael Jackson pay to have a Voodoo Curse put on you?
Beware!

Well I'd say you can hire me.. but I think someone would get a little upset about that. Maybe he'll share me with you? I wanna be cool too. I don't vaccuum though.

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LadyMischief

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#34

12-05-2003, 08:04 AM

Originally posted by Lightspeed

The lawn guy is loyal as a dog -- he knows which side of the fence really has the greener grass. (oh a pun, i'm on a roll!)

Yeah, but does he mind all the smelly parts in between? If so, I might have to hire him out from under you!

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BradShaw

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#35

12-05-2003, 08:11 AM

Always good to use humor to "spin" with.

Sig too big

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Ludedude

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#36

12-05-2003, 08:44 AM

Originally posted by BradShaw
Always good to use humor to "spin" with.

especially in a 9 month old thread
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TheGoldenChild

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#37

12-05-2003, 08:48 AM

Will someone at Lightspeed hire me?

I haven't been let go in a while!
Forgot what it's like :-))
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XxXotic

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#38

12-05-2003, 08:53 AM

it's not any fun till lightspeed starts hiring people specifically to fire them

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#39

12-05-2003, 08:54 AM

FUCK!

Lightspeed just canned me too.

Fine you bastards, I'm sure someone else needs me to do as much nothing as I did for you.

I like pie.
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RAM

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#40

12-05-2003, 01:47 PM

Originally posted by Zebra
Lightspeed Cash is sad to announce the departure of Tom the Culligan Man and Helga and Bella the housecleaners. No longer will those who visit the Lightspeed offices be able to enjoy clean sparkling water from Tom. No longer will they be able to see out the windows that were once washed by Helga or walk upon the clean carpet that was vaccumed by Bella.
We are sad to see them go and will miss them deeply.
We are proud to say that we were able to negotiate with Joe the pool guy and Sam the Orkin man and they WILL be staying! Hooray!

When will the revolving door at Lightspeed end?
Will YOU be next?
Will Luke Ford report YOUR career move?
Will anyone care?
Will Michael Jackson pay to have a Voodoo Curse put on you?
Beware!

But RAM will still run around in LS Gear....YOU BET

RAM

Fucking Machines are like CASH MACHINES

See RAM on these quality sites!!
Rightofftheboat.com EuroBrideTryouts.com
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clubsexy

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#41

12-05-2003, 01:51 PM

Losing employees is hard on any company

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#42

12-05-2003, 02:46 PM

This is hilarious shit. Great advertising for Lightspeedcash, by the way!!! Very selective program--you have to have references to join their PPS. I agree--smart way to do business, weeds out cheaters, and also increases ROI--you only recruit semi- or proven webmasters. Best of luck to Lightspeedcash.

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SleazyDream

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#43

12-05-2003, 07:15 PM

Originally posted by Lightspeed
Damn, I just got a call from John my hair stylist -- he's moving out of town and won't be able to cut my hair anymore. Another KEY LOSS for LIGHTSPEED!

I've heard of bloodletting, but this is ridiculous!

now i can't get an image of steve with dreads like dugmor out of my head

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

Now read without the word dog.
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Cole Montana

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#44

12-05-2003, 07:20 PM

Originally posted by RAM

But RAM will still run around in LS Gear....YOU BET

Ram, no matter what, you know we still love ya brah!

Where Amateur Stars are Born
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corvette

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#45

12-05-2003, 07:22 PM

Originally posted by RAM

But RAM will still run around in LS Gear....YOU BET

you call that gear?

If you need a good company for check writing services, then check out checkissuing, and for webhosting, check out Phoenix NAP
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corvette

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#46

12-05-2003, 07:22 PM

Originally posted by Cole Montana

Ram, no matter what, you know we still love ya brah!

whats up cole?

))

If you need a good company for check writing services, then check out checkissuing, and for webhosting, check out Phoenix NAP
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