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#1 |
C.C.C.P.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Novorossiya
Posts: 7,049
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Canada Reasons to live here
CANADA
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA 1. Weed. 2. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. 3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder. 4. The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar. 5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 6. A university with a nude beach. 7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 8. If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash. 9. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. 10. Cannabis. TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 1. Big Rock between you and B.C. 2. Ottawa who? 3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 percent for the rest of the country. 4. The Premier is a fat, alcoholic who is easy to make fun of . 5. Flames vs. Oilers. 6. Stamps vs. Eskies. 7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. 8. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be it's own country. 9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. 10. You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away with it. TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 1. You never run out of wheat. 2. Ten months of winter and 2 months of poor skating. 3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning. 4. Your province is really easy to draw. 5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you drive a standard. 6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house. 7. YOUR Roughriders survived. 8. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 9. People will assume you live on a farm. 10. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense. TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property. 2. Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg". 3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto. 4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government. 5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work. 8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 9. Because of your license plate, you are still friendly even when you cut someone off. 10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO 1. You live in the center of the universe. 2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist. Separate from what? You are the center of the universe. 5. Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition. 6. Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's a cool city. 7. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 8. Much Music's Speaker's Corner -- rant and rave on national TV for a dollar. 9. Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your house. 10. Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein. TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 1. Everybody assumes you're an asshole. 2. Racism is socially acceptable. 3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians. 4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move out next. 5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. 6. The FLQ. 7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys who can't skate. 8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers. 9. NON-smokers are the outcasts. 10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo bastards". TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 1. You are sandwiched between French assholes and drunken Celtic fiddlers. 2. One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of your income. 3. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 4. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours. 5. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists to Boston. 6. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick. 7. You have French people, but they don't want to kill you. 8. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 9. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen. 10. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television. TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 1. The only place in North America to get bombed in the war by a moron who set ammunitions ship on fire. (Halifax Explosion) 2. The province is shaped like the male genitalia 3. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 4. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their ass. 5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert homo. 6. The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's largest land mammal. 7. You are the "only" reason Anne Murray makes money. 8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 9. The economy is based on lobster and fiddle music. 10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered Canada's most beautiful city. TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big ass bridge. 2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea". 4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from. 5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows. 6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly leave. 7. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates. 9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that matter. 10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 1. The poorest, drunkest province in Confederation. 2. If Quebec Separates, you will float off to sea. 3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss a dead cod. 4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products. 5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 6. You & only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics. 7. The workday is about two hours long. 8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines. 9. If someone asks if you're from Cape Breton, you are allowed to kick their ass. 10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding day.
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#2 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Mtl
Posts: 4,596
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Quote:
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Tracking 202 | Start Tracking PPC Campaigns Like A Pro |
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#3 |
We need more free porn
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 16,356
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Those jokes were funny before 1972.
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#4 |
Adult Locals
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: West Coast
Posts: 25,450
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#5 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Montreal
Posts: 2,901
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TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Everybody assumes you're an asshole. 2. Racism is socially acceptable. 3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians. 4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move out next. 5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. 6. The FLQ. 7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys who can't skate. 8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers. 9. NON-smokers are the outcasts. 10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo bastards". i come from quebec hehehe ![]() ![]() ![]()
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#6 |
So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 11,486
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Funny stuff
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#7 |
SEO Connoisseur
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Brantford, Ontario
Posts: 17,124
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you forgot about naughty jenn being in canada
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#8 |
Orgasms N Such!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Oakville, Ontario
Posts: 18,135
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Alberta rocks
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#10 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: LONDON/MONTREAL
Posts: 734
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![]() guess its simple to see why i moved to quebec from the Uk now
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#11 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: quebec, canada
Posts: 3,030
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CAHEK where are you from?
BC? skunk weed is cool but did you ever taste some quebec gold?:-) its rock! TTiger |
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#12 |
Push Porn Like Weight.
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Inside .NET
Posts: 10,652
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Reasons not to Live in Canada:
1.) All those damn canadians.
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Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war. |
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#13 | |
C.C.C.P.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Novorossiya
Posts: 7,049
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Quote:
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Pharma from True-Meds. High converting shop in Europe and USA, fast payouts via BTC !!! |
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#14 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 610
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1. Everybody assumes you're an asshole.
ummm,actually , we tend to think anyone from Toronto is. 2. Racism is socially acceptable. True , but it is everywhere . 3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians. When was that ??? The only politician ever to be kidnapped was Pierre Laporte , and he wasn't a "federal politician" . 4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move out next. According to Stats-Can, more people move TO Quebec from the rest of Canada , than move out . 5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. Again according to Stats-Can , there are only 3 provinces which give more than they get . 6. The FLQ. They ceased to exist long before most people reading this board were born . 7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys who can't skate. In fact , the majority of the players are not French , dirty or otherwise . 8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers. ![]() 9. NON-smokers are the outcasts. Those were the good old days !! In fact , it's quite the opposite . 10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo bastards". Most people I know blame everything on the Peqiste Bastards . As someone posted , this would have been funny a loooooong time ago . ![]() |
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#15 | |
sex dwarf
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 17,860
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Quote:
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#16 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 610
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Quote:
![]() No , I'm not really a very sensitive type ( see reply # 8 ) . But there's enough REAL things to make fun of about Quebec or any province that we shouldn't have to resort to some silly cbc-ndp world view . If I were to make a joke about Alberta and Ralph Kline , it may or may not be funny . But if I made a joke about , say , the camel ranches in Alberta , it would just be silly . ![]() |
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#17 |
OG
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: 3rd from the Sun
Posts: 13,235
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Still.... it's funny.
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#18 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: NY
Posts: 4,994
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camel ranches
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#19 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 610
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#20 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,767
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TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. The only place in North America to get bombed in the war by a moron who set ammunitions ship on fire. (Halifax Explosion) Wish I was alive for that. 3. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. ![]() 4. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their ass. Been there... 5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert homo. hahahahaha 8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. Is there a punchline to this? 10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered Canada's most beautiful city. Can't argue with either of those statments |
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#21 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 6,023
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NUMBER ONE REASON NOT TO LIVE UP THERE...........
your taxes are a crucifixtion for anyone who makes decent bling |
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#22 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 610
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Quote:
![]() Especially here in Quebec ....It's un-fucking-believable . ![]() |
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#24 |
Black Vagina Finder
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 13,975
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I love Canada..If it wasn't cold everywhere in that country, I wouldn't mind living there
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#25 |
I AM WEB 2.0
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 28,682
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YES ALBERTA RULES!
the rest of you suck, well BC and Manitoba are OK but the rest of you need to go. |
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