Canada Reasons to live here
 

CANADA

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Weed.
2. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.
3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder.
4. The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar.
5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
6. A university with a nude beach.
7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
8. If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash.
9. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
10. Cannabis.



TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big Rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 percent for the rest of
the country.
4. The Premier is a fat, alcoholic who is easy to make fun of .
5. Flames vs. Oilers.
6. Stamps vs. Eskies.
7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
8. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be it's own
country.
9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
10. You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away
with it.



TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Ten months of winter and 2 months of poor skating.
3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning.
4. Your province is really easy to draw.
5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you drive a standard.
6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house.
7. YOUR Roughriders survived.
8. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
9. People will assume you live on a farm.
10. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense.



TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property.
2. Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg".
3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto.
4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal
government.
5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work.
8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
9. Because of your license plate, you are still friendly even when you cut
someone off.
10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.



TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the center of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist. Separate from what? You
are the center of the universe.
5. Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition.
6. Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's a
cool city.
7. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
8. Much Music's Speaker's Corner -- rant and rave on national TV for a
dollar.
9. Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your
house.
10. Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein.



TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Everybody assumes you're an asshole.
2. Racism is socially acceptable.
3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.
4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move
out next.
5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
6. The FLQ.
7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys who can't
skate.
8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers.
9. NON-smokers are the outcasts.
10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo bastards".



TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. You are sandwiched between French assholes and drunken Celtic fiddlers.
2. One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of your income.
3. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
4. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours.
5. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists to
Boston.
6. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
7. You have French people, but they don't want to kill you.
8. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
9. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen.
10. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television.



TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. The only place in North America to get bombed in the war by a moron who
set ammunitions ship on fire. (Halifax Explosion)
2. The province is shaped like the male genitalia
3. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
4. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their ass.
5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert homo.
6. The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's largest land
mammal.
7. You are the "only" reason Anne Murray makes money.
8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk
and wear a kilt.
9. The economy is based on lobster and fiddle music.
10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered
Canada's most beautiful city.



TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big
ass bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea".
4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from.
5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows.
6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly
leave.
7. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates.
9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that
matter.
10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at
night.



TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. The poorest, drunkest province in Confederation.
2. If Quebec Separates, you will float off to sea.
3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss
a dead cod.
4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products.
5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
6. You & only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics.
7. The workday is about two hours long.
8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered
flashlight and the screen door for submarines.
9. If someone asks if you're from Cape Breton, you are allowed to kick
their ass.
10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding day.

right on :thumbsup :1orglaugh

Those jokes were funny before 1972.

:1orglaugh

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Everybody assumes you're an asshole.
2. Racism is socially acceptable.
3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.
4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move
out next.
5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
6. The FLQ.
7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys who can't
skate.
8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers.
9. NON-smokers are the outcasts.
10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo bastards".


i come from quebec
hehehe :thumbsup :thumbsup :thumbsup

Funny stuff

you forgot about naughty jenn being in canada


http://www.naughtyjenn.com/vegas2.jpg

Alberta rocks :) I miss Alberta!

LMAO

guess its simple to see why i moved to quebec from the Uk now:thumbsup

CAHEK where are you from?
BC? skunk weed is cool but did you ever taste some quebec gold?:-)
its rock!
TTiger

Reasons not to Live in Canada:
1.) All those damn canadians.

Toronto :)

1. Everybody assumes you're an asshole.

ummm,actually , we tend to think anyone from Toronto is.

2. Racism is socially acceptable.

True , but it is everywhere .

3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.

When was that ??? The only politician ever to be kidnapped was Pierre Laporte , and he wasn't a "federal politician" .

4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move out next.

According to Stats-Can, more people move TO Quebec from the rest of Canada , than move out .

5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.

Again according to Stats-Can , there are only 3 provinces which give more than they get .

6. The FLQ.

They ceased to exist long before most people reading this board were born .

7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys who can't skate.

In fact , the majority of the players are not French , dirty or otherwise .

8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers.

:mad: Leave my mother out of this !!!

9. NON-smokers are the outcasts.

Those were the good old days !! In fact , it's quite the opposite .

10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo bastards".

Most people I know blame everything on the Peqiste Bastards .

As someone posted , this would have been funny a loooooong time ago .

:)

So... you took this seriously? :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

No , I'm not really a very sensitive type ( see reply # 8 ) .

But there's enough REAL things to make fun of about Quebec or any province that we shouldn't have to resort to some silly cbc-ndp world view .

If I were to make a joke about Alberta and Ralph Kline , it may or may not be funny . But if I made a joke about , say , the camel ranches in Alberta , it would just be silly .


:Graucho

Still.... it's funny.

camel ranches :glugglug where do I sign up :thumbsup

Well, mmm, a little bit ...

:)

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. The only place in North America to get bombed in the war by a moron who
set ammunitions ship on fire. (Halifax Explosion)

Wish I was alive for that.


3. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.

:( Low blow...


4. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their ass.

Been there...



5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert homo.

hahahahaha


8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk
and wear a kilt.

Is there a punchline to this?


10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered
Canada's most beautiful city.

Can't argue with either of those statments

NUMBER ONE REASON NOT TO LIVE UP THERE...........

your taxes are a crucifixtion for anyone who makes decent bling

:(

Especially here in Quebec ....It's un-fucking-believable .

:BangBang:

JKZ :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I love Canada..If it wasn't cold everywhere in that country, I wouldn't mind living there

YES ALBERTA RULES!

the rest of you suck,

well BC and Manitoba are OK but the rest of you need to go.