child support - GoFuckYourself.com

angelsofporn · 12-01-2003, 11:47 AM

Heard this guy on talk radio this morning who was calling from a payphone.
He had a wife and kids and his wife left him and took the kids apparently. The judge ordered him to pay spousal support,child support etc plus his house went to the cause as well.
So he made it for a little while making his payments but after a while he had some medical costs that came up and his insurance only covered a portion of them. So basically what ended up happening to this poor guy as a result of the California "make women millionaires while there husbands live in shit" laws, he ended up going to jail for non-payment of his child/spousal support while his wife is with a new guy. He was fully employed at this time so understandably his employer gave him the boot. So he gets out and gets another job meanwhile his car has been reposessed and he now owns nothing.
So now he lives in a nissan sentra and goes to work every day to make his payments and the judge in the case wont do anything for him.
morla of this story..never get married

fris · 12-01-2003, 11:50 AM

marriage = early death ;)

MediumPimpin · 12-01-2003, 11:50 AM

Never, ever, ever get marrired

Living proof above, I know of people is the same situation.

angelsofporn · 12-01-2003, 11:56 AM

everytime i have a big argument with my wife the first thing she starts taking about is...well i get this..and that..even though everything we own..houses etc..i bought
marriage is a scam
Someone posted here the other day something to the effect of
When women say: I do
They really mean: No more blowjobs
No truer words have ever been spoken

PersianKitty · 12-01-2003, 11:59 AM

Actually it's not the marriage part that gets you... it's the having kids part.

HS-Trixxxia · 12-01-2003, 12:00 PM

I'm sorry for being a bitch here (and I know most women would disagree with me) but what human in her right mind, would want her children's father out on the street (that goes for men who are living the highlife while his ex-wife and kids are living like paupers) I understand that shit happens, the love is no longer there and what-not - but to ask for something that is not possible or affordable just because you know that the judge making 200k (probably) is going to approve it because you gave birth to the child, is beyond me.

I would never want to see my ex-husband starving and living in the streets because he has to give me money: 1) I'd go to work
2) If I had a new guy living with me, he'd be paying half the expenses and the adjustments would be made accordingly with my ex.
3) What do you tell your child as to why his father is starving although he works his ass off?

Some women need to get their priorities straightened out.
This also goes for the fathers that work illegally so his ex doesn't get a penny -nor his kids for that matter - & in the meantime, they are saving on food & clothes & he's living his life without problems and enjoying the new pussy.......

People are just fucked up

angelsofporn · 12-01-2003, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PersianKitty
Actually it's not the marriage part that gets you... it's the having kids part.

depends on the girl...depends on the guy
You cant tell me that things dont change completely within 3 months of being married.

Raven · 12-01-2003, 12:01 PM

I often wonder what happened to the feminists who could bring home the bacon and cook it...when they said they were independent and didn't need men, not even for procreation.

I see my sister in law...who manipulated her then husband into moving from hawaii to seattle.....in march of last year..by july, they were separated and officially they were divorced in October.

In September, she already had a new boyfriend. Both she and her ex are living in the same house where he pays the bills and gives her a monthly stipend so she can clean the house and home school the kids.

I don't get it and I AM a girl.

Choker · 12-01-2003, 12:02 PM

Sad thing is that the state agencies repsonsible for collecting child support payments fuck with guys who are not hiding and TRYING to make their payments. But will not waste their resources going after dads who are hiding and send no money at all.

I am sent forms I have to fill out and mail with my payment every week. The form says on it in large font" DO NOT BEND OR STAPLE"

I put the form in a very tiny envelope after a bend it at least 5 times to make it fit, and I add a few staples to make sure the envelope is secure. I stay well over $8000 ahead on payments, so what are they going to do to me? Fuck em

Mr.Fiction · 12-01-2003, 12:02 PM

If you have kids, you have to pay for them. That's life.

Even if she marries some rich guy, he's still not the father.

Amputate Your Head · 12-01-2003, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr.Fiction
If you have kids, you have to pay for them. That's life.

Even if she marries some rich guy, he's still not the father.

how is it these kids suddenly are entitled to 20 times what they were getting when the parents were married? Most divorces stem from financial problems between the couple in the first place, and if you couldn't pay $10k towards the kids every month when you were married, how the fuck does some stupid judge expect you to pay it when you're NOT married. The child support laws are fucking twisted and need to be seriously revised.

but of course no one will ever argue that because we all know, the woman is the victim 100% of the time and the lousy bastard deserves to live in a cardboard box while his entire paycheck and all future ones go straight to the ex.

Sly_RJ · 12-01-2003, 12:10 PM

The whole child support system is a crock of shit.

HeadPimp · 12-01-2003, 12:17 PM

I wouldn't recommend marriage to anyone under 25, and then there needs to be a very detailed prenup written out and agreed to.

The other thing to remember is that just because there are some hard working, intelligent women that hang out here, there are also a lot of sneaky, money grubbing women out there that really are after men, just to see what they can get out of them.

KCat · 12-01-2003, 12:24 PM

In Canada, child support is paid based on your income. A friend of mine got divorced a few years ago & based on his $30,000 a year income, he has to pay a little under $200 a month per kid. If he ever can't make a payment, he just contacts the child support office & lets them know. No biggie.

Child support isn't the problem. It's when women are getting alimony for 20 years after only being married for 2. What a joke.

But if you can't provide $200 a month for your child, you're not a fucking man.

Veterans Day · 12-01-2003, 12:26 PM

I agree fully with the above statements about the courts .Not all marriages are bad, its not a bad situation in the least, just the "quick to marry" theory when a child is conceived out of wedlock is total horseshit and 66% or 2 out of 3 end in divorce. But really the nerve of some of these fuckin women are crazy and all I can do is thank the lord I gotta good one for the past 12 years.

Hot as fuck too

radical · 12-01-2003, 12:27 PM

I agree the law in this area is fucked up!!

swedguy · 12-01-2003, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by angelsofporn
morla of this story..never get married

I would rather say never get kids.

arg · 12-01-2003, 12:34 PM

In the US, I gather alimony (spouse support, not child support) is increasingly rare, especially on more than a very temporary basis.

Child support is usually required whether the parents were married or not, so folks warning of marriage, you should really be avoiding unprotected sex. Marriage and divorce have their own issues, but they're independent of child support. A friend of mine has been in jail a few times for a kid he had out of wedlock when he was 18, and hasn't been allowed to see for 8 years, because he's always behind in payments. And that does screw up your employability. He's largely to blame for not getting his s**t together more, but my point is that it can happen whether you marry or not.

Furious_Female · 12-01-2003, 01:11 PM

It's sad that so many women use their children as tools to punish their husbands or ex husbands. While I am all for fathers that want to be a part of their children's life and do pay child support, I think it's wrong for the mother's to drain every cent out of them. In a lot of cases, the mother's end up using the money for themselves and not for the kids.

Take for example my aunt... she married a guy at least 15 years older than her. He was married for 25 years before that, never had kids. My aunt knew he didn't want to have kids... but she kept pushing him and eventually had a baby. Then another one. She was only interested in securing her future for the next 18-20 years by using the kids as meal tickets, because they did get divorced and she ended up with the house and most of everything, even though HE had custody of the kids. At court once, she had a choice between the house or give up the kids... guess what she chose?

I'd never want to make someone suffer just because I am bitter and selfish and I'd never want my kids to see that I am making their father suffer. There's nothing worse for a child to experience than thinking one parent hates the other. I don't believe in divorce, but if I ever got married and it came to an end, I wouldn't want anything more than I brought into it initially and what I contributed to it, during it. My fair share, not more than I contributed financially.

I'm not sure why some women end up so hateful to the entire male population. As a female, I know men can be real assholes, but I don't believe in revenge when children are involved. If I had kids, my first priority would be making them happy and safe... my own wants/needs would come last.

laura99 · 12-01-2003, 01:16 PM

This guy I went to trucking school with had just gotten a divorce. His wife was to get like 50% of his income as alimony. He was a lawyer and I guess a damn good one that made a shit load of money, so he quit and became a truck driver for $30,000 a year haha. Guess he showed her.

DirkG · 12-01-2003, 01:31 PM

Child support laws in Oregon are crap too. They are ment to leave the father with $900 a month before taxes after child support. So with my 3 kids I pay $700 a month and bring home $230 a week for a 55 hour a week job. When I get raises, my child support goes up so I bring home the same amount. Its handled by the state. If I start to make less, they take away my drivers licence then in 30 days put me in jail if I dont start making more money. Exwife just bought a new Durango and a minivan. She is quiting her job at the end of the month to retire at the age of 32 thanks in part to what I pay and her new husband. While I cant afford to get my 11 year old car fixed and have to take the kids to school on my mountain bike.

Its not always the mom who decides what to do to the father, its the state. She just goes along with it because its the law. They decide how much to take out, how to punish fathers who cant live on $900 a month, and it will never change.

The easy advise is to never have kids. THat sucks. The better advise is to start hiding assets from day one. Purchase cars in company names that you dont have legal ties to, keep your saveing and investments in trusts or somewhere other than your name. Buy a house together, but expect to lose it since what is yours is really hers and not yours.
It takes some time to set everything up, but most people have years before they split up. So start right away. If you are one of the lucky 40% who dont split up than when you retire you will be living even better due to all the savings and protected assets that have added up.

jennym · 12-01-2003, 01:34 PM

When I divorced my husband, I gave him everything! He had been divorced before, and his 1st wife took everything. I wasn't going to make him start over again. I did not ask for child support either. He helps buy what she needs and wants anytime he can. She is not missing out on anything. I would NEVER have my child's father put in jail over money. Women just fucking piss me off sometimes!!

DirkG · 12-01-2003, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Furious_Female
If I had kids, my first priority would be making them happy and safe... my own wants/needs would come last.

This is exactly the mentality and rationalization women make when ruining the father. They see it as the kids safe and happy. Taking everything from the father and using it for their own benifit, leaving the fathers with not even enough money to pay rent and utilities much less buy food. But the she and kids will still be safe and happy, while the father is put into jail.

axelcat · 12-01-2003, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by fris
marriage = early death ;)

damn straight

angelsofporn · 12-01-2003, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DirkG
Child support laws in Oregon are crap too. They are ment to leave the father with $900 a month before taxes after child support. So with my 3 kids I pay $700 a month and bring home $230 a week for a 55 hour a week job. When I get raises, my child support goes up so I bring home the same amount. Its handled by the state. If I start to make less, they take away my drivers licence then in 30 days put me in jail if I dont start making more money. Exwife just bought a new Durango and a minivan. She is quiting her job at the end of the month to retire at the age of 32 thanks in part to what I pay and her new husband. While I cant afford to get my 11 year old car fixed and have to take the kids to school on my mountain bike.

Its not always the mom who decides what to do to the father, its the state. She just goes along with it because its the law. They decide how much to take out, how to punish fathers who cant live on $900 a month, and it will never change.

The easy advise is to never have kids. THat sucks. The better advise is to start hiding assets from day one. Purchase cars in company names that you dont have legal ties to, keep your saveing and investments in trusts or somewhere other than your name. Buy a house together, but expect to lose it since what is yours is really hers and not yours.
It takes some time to set everything up, but most people have years before they split up. So start right away. If you are one of the lucky 40% who dont split up than when you retire you will be living even better due to all the savings and protected assets that have added up.

man..that is rough..hit me up if you need some extra work

DirkG · 12-01-2003, 01:39 PM

My payments will also be going up at the end of the year since my exwife has chosen to quit her job and hang out with the kids all day. "Its for them". It will make them happier, so I get to pay even more. Thats fine by her becasue "its in the best interests of the kids" for her to not work anymore and for me to make up the difference.

Sly_RJ · 12-01-2003, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DirkG
My payments will also be going up at the end of the year since my exwife has chosen to quit her job and hang out with the kids all day. "Its for them". It will make them happier, so I get to pay even more. Thats fine by her becasue "its in the best interests of the kids" for her to not work anymore and for me to make up the difference.

Ever talk to a lawyer about your situation? Do you have any interest in getting some kind of custody of your kids?

Gemini · 12-01-2003, 01:43 PM

Our state has that percentage thing too... but if the county dealing with the CS doesn't have the mans income numbers, they just pull one out of the air. lmao Not the main counties, they have the manpower to get that info. But more than 1/2 work the smoke and mirrors.

And a few years ago... the child support division had things all messed up... payments weren't getting sent to the wives and all sorts of problems... guess what? The men went to jail and when the problems were discovered, there wasn't even a Sorry handed out.

Someone I knew, (deceased now) had his support taken from his check each week, yet like clockwork, the police picked him up on Friday after he got off (at his workplace no less) and lodged him in the county until Monday morn when he saw the judge. All due to the state holding up the payments. (They were IN the SAME room yet the 'computers" didn't get the funds from one side of the room to the other... they could have WALKED them over!)THat went on for 3 yrs. The cops even brought him a sandwich and coffee every week. lol Same cops each time.

And the weeks the check actually made it to the ex wife... she called and said it didn't JUST to have him arrested. (Even though they could have looked in the system and seen the check had been mailed)

Amputate Your Head · 12-01-2003, 01:43 PM

makes you wonder why they don't make the married couples pay a fixed amount of "support" every month towards the kids. Require them to spend a specific amount each and every month on the kids and live on $900 a month. Why not? They make the father do it after a split, so why not during the marriage? Are the kids not entitled to that until after a divorce?

The exhorbitant amounts these courts require every month never fails to blow my mind. And zero regard for the father that now has to live in his car at a rest area on the freeway and dine on potato chips every night because it's all he can afford. He wasn't dining on potato chips & rice cakes during the marriage. Were the kids starving? Probably not in most cases.

Oracle Porn · 12-01-2003, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

how is it these kids suddenly are entitled to 20 times what they were getting when the parents were married? Most divorces stem from financial problems between the couple in the first place, and if you couldn't pay $10k towards the kids every month when you were married, how the fuck does some stupid judge expect you to pay it when you're NOT married. The child support laws are fucking twisted and need to be seriously revised.

but of course no one will ever argue that because we all know, the woman is the victim 100% of the time and the lousy bastard deserves to live in a cardboard box while his entire paycheck and all future ones go straight to the ex.

its not 10k... its 7
and 7k/year aint shit....

Amputate Your Head · 12-01-2003, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oracle Porn

its not 10k... its 7
and 7k/year aint shit....

I said per month. And it was just a number I pulled out of my ass for illustration purposes. Don't take it all so literal.

DirkG · 12-01-2003, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by angelsofporn

man..that is rough..hit me up if you need some extra work

Your a good person. But time is a luxury I dont have. I should be designing a new mgp site, but I stopped by hear to rant first. Now I am all but out of time for the day. I have to go spend time with the kids before they start telling me how "mommy is right, you dont take care of us good". I have to make time to set up a bed, clean the garage, remove all the garbage from one kids bedroom so I can move into since I just rented out the master bed/bath to someone. Pick kids up from school, help with homework, make dinner, and the list keeps getting bigger. Than back to work for all but 3 of my waking hours.

Oracle Porn · 12-01-2003, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

pulled out of my ass...

do you do that every time you post?

its about $550/month...
and if you can afford that much... damn your in some serious trouble

DirkG · 12-01-2003, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sly_RJ

Ever talk to a lawyer about your situation? Do you have any interest in getting some kind of custody of your kids?

Just talked to a lawyer last week. Thats how I found out my payments would go up a the end of the year. Nothing we could do. He said we could spend $2500 on a defense that she could be making the money but chose not to, but in 95% of the cases the judges dont care. So he recommended not to spend the money.

Sly_RJ · 12-01-2003, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DirkG

Your a good person. But time is a luxury I dont have. I should be designing a new mgp site, but I stopped by hear to rant first. Now I am all but out of time for the day. I have to go spend time with the kids before they start telling me how "mommy is right, you dont take care of us good". I have to make time to set up a bed, clean the garage, remove all the garbage from one kids bedroom so I can move into since I just rented out the master bed/bath to someone. Pick kids up from school, help with homework, make dinner, and the list keeps getting bigger. Than back to work for all but 3 of my waking hours.

So it sounds like you have partial custody, why are you paying full child support?

Maybe the judges don't care, that doesn't mean there's no hope. Start writing letters to your Congressmen. Write 2 a week if you have to. Letters don't take long to write. You'll drive them so crazy they'll actually want to help you.

Amputate Your Head · 12-01-2003, 02:00 PM

here's some real numbers from a real story:

I know a guy (who shall remain unnamed) who's exwife managed to somehow get the court to make a judgement against him for $700 per child per month. He has 5 kids. This comes to $3500 a month in support. He had worked the same job for 18 years, and his gross monthly income was half that much. (small town) There's nothing he could do to suddenly double his income, which would cover the judgement but still leave him penniless. The court didn't care. The judgement stood. Obviously he couldn't pay, so they took everything he owned and put him in jail.

He lost everything. Home, car, job, and his freedom. All because of some greedy fucking bitch.

No one will ever convince me that the child support system is a good thing.

Amputate Your Head · 12-01-2003, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Oracle Porn

do you do that every time you post?

its about $550/month...
and if you can afford that much... damn your in some serious trouble

again, I said per month.... not per year. You need to go back and read. The whole thing is moot anyway.... it was a hypothetical scenario.

DirkG · 12-01-2003, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

I said per month. And it was just a number I pulled out of my ass for illustration purposes. Don't take it all so literal.

There is a man on this board from time to time that pays pretty close to that every month for his kids. I'm sure he will speak up at some point.

I was told by the judge. "Child support is ment to keep the kids living in the same or better standard of life than before the split up." "They shouldnt suffer by having only one parents income available at each house" So I pay to keep Bobbi in a new Durango, nice house, and new clothes so that the kids can live like they would if I was still married to her.

Furious_Female · 12-01-2003, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DirkG

This is exactly the mentality and rationalization women make when ruining the father. They see it as the kids safe and happy. Taking everything from the father and using it for their own benifit, leaving the fathers with not even enough money to pay rent and utilities much less buy food. But the she and kids will still be safe and happy, while the father is put into jail.

No.... if you read the rest of my post, draining my kids father (if I had any) isn't part of making children happy. Like I said, I wouldn't want my kids to think I hate their father and want to destroy him or vice versa. To make my children happy, I would do anything I had to do, to provide for them and that does NOT involve draining a man for every penny he has. I would much rather he'd have time to spend with kids, than work his ass off 70 hours a week trying to pay for them and me. Money is not everything. Nothing will change my mind about that. This is the way I have always believed.

Also, kids aren't nearly as expensive as some people would have you believe. They don't eat THAT much or require new clothes and what not every other day. Adults often forget, yeah it costs money to run a household, but it's also paying for the adults, who use more resources than kids do. So I don't think people should have to pay more than they normally would before the divorce. Every situation is different, but I am against using kids as a step up to a better life for yourself. I believe in working for everything you have and expect nothing from no one.

I guess I am the exception because I have such an easy job that makes great money and owe much of that to my programmer friends, but even if I could no longer work at home online, I'd aim for the best in an offline career.

Raven · 12-01-2003, 02:14 PM

We are human; therefore, we procreate.

There are easier ways.

Rather than go through the state, get yourselves lawyers who negotiate, rather than court date.

Realising that if you got along that well with your spouse, you'd still be married...allow the lawyers to do their jobs.

There are excellent child advocate lawyers out there.

The problem is not just the women..let's not forget the disappearing guy.

Alimony, in some states, is now referred to as rehabilitation payments or whatever...and, it's designed to allow women who have stayed at home or had menial jobs so they could be with the kids...the opportunity to get vocational training so they can support themselves.

The dilemma, as I see it, is this.

When there are children, it's best if someone stays home. Period. There should be a bank account which allows the one who stays home ....a salary, as much as can be spared.

If the marriage stays intact, then it's a great retirement fund. If the marriage goes astray, the one who stayed home for that time, gets it as a lump sum settlement.

Child support should not go away; but, both parties need to contribute to a general fund.

Parents who divorce should be forced to live in the same school district to allow their children access to both of them.

BSleazy · 12-01-2003, 02:17 PM

On wednsday I have to go to court or whatever and establish paternity and what I'm going to have to pay for child support. I don't need an attourney for that do I? I think there is some kind of calculation they use for everyone to figure out how much you pay.

Amputate Your Head · 12-01-2003, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Raven
We are human; therefore, we procreate.

There are easier ways.

Rather than go through the state, get yourselves lawyers who negotiate, rather than court date.

Realising that if you got along that well with your spouse, you'd still be married...allow the lawyers to do their jobs.

There are excellent child advocate lawyers out there.

The problem is not just the women..let's not forget the disappearing guy.

Alimony, in some states, is now referred to as rehabilitation payments or whatever...and, it's designed to allow women who have stayed at home or had menial jobs so they could be with the kids...the opportunity to get vocational training so they can support themselves.

The dilemma, as I see it, is this.

When there are children, it's best if someone stays home. Period. There should be a bank account which allows the one who stays home ....a salary, as much as can be spared.

If the marriage stays intact, then it's a great retirement fund. If the marriage goes astray, the one who stayed home for that time, gets it as a lump sum settlement.

Child support should not go away; but, both parties need to contribute to a general fund.

Parents who divorce should be forced to live in the same school district to allow their children access to both of them.

except in this day and age, a good majority of households are dual income already just to stay afloat. So if both are working, what reason is there for awarding alimony? She's already got a job. Fortunately, when I divorced, I was in a non-alimony state. Alimony today is archaic. It's not 1950 anymore.

As far as living in the same school district, that's not always a good thing either. Some divorces end in restraining orders and all kinds of other bad shit. Not everyone has the faculties to conduct themselves like a decent human being. And for the ones that do, I still must disagree. Providing no one has done anything criminal, you can't force them to live somewhere if they don't want to.

jaYMan · 12-01-2003, 02:25 PM

this does work the other way around. my sons mother is a total fucking deadbeat that is currently running from the law. she has one last chance at a court date, dec 10th. i hope she doesnt show. would love to see her in jail where her scabby ass belongs.

Amputate Your Head · 12-01-2003, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BCyber
On wednsday I have to go to court or whatever and establish paternity and what I'm going to have to pay for child support. I don't need an attourney for that do I? I think there is some kind of calculation they use for everyone to figure out how much you pay.

If I were you I would DEFINATELY get an attorney, or you are going to get assraped like you won't believe. Once they establish paternity, they can judge against you for backpay to the day the kid was born, they can do alot of nasty things to you that are virtually impossible to get reversed.

Get a lawyer.

HS-Trixxxia · 12-01-2003, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jennym
When I divorced my husband, I gave him everything! He had been divorced before, and his 1st wife took everything. I wasn't going to make him start over again. I did not ask for child support either. He helps buy what she needs and wants anytime he can. She is not missing out on anything. I would NEVER have my child's father put in jail over money. Women just fucking piss me off sometimes!!

Like you, I gave him what was his, kept what was mine - took all the debts because I knew he wouldn't make it - put myself in a big hole - gave him the chance to get back on his feet - he paid the back child support which was minimal (since I didn't give bullshit calculations - despite his lawyer & mine suggesting I do) and now he pays nothing since our son wants to live with us equally - I still have full custody but we have him one week each and I asked the courts to stop collecting money from his pay.

Herb Kornfield · 12-01-2003, 02:46 PM

Always most important to take care of your children, but, people abuse the system really bad....Here is my tale.

My wife's ex has claimed being broke, having not enough to make ends meet week to week and crying in general about how broke he is. Cant afford gas to drop her off, really was a sad story.

We go to drop off my wife's daughter at her fathers house as usual after a weekend visit. The father again starts his I am so broke routine again with her. I walked over as they started getting a bit heated and asked them both what the deal is.

He tells me that he wants support from her and has been talking to lawyers to sue for back support. Never before was the request for support made to her via the courts.

I asked him how much money is he in need of, what can we work out that helps everyone while benefiting the child most importantly....

He refused any help from me, looked me dead in the eye and told me he was going to bankrupt me, lol.....

We go to court, he gets 3 months back support in addition to the $500 a month plus us covering 100% of the child's healthcare.

Then, he has a new truck, snowmobile, going on a cruise the kid tells us. His girlfriend with 2 other kids are now living there that the girlfriend gets support on, as well....the house he lives in was a gift from his parents. He refinanced the house, another 80k in the pocket.

Got a new deck on his house, tatoos all over, even enrolled in the local community college, goes to the local pubs with his buddies every weekend like clock worrk.

We have come to find that the child is living with his mother, not even in the same house as him. As he is cashing them checks each month.

We have tried evey legal avenue that we can think of to correct this and make him accountable for these actions. Unfornately, the state of PA doesnt see things that way. Once a case is in the system you can drag this out for years with appeals, delays, etc.

Bottom line here, if you are asking for or having to pay money, each party should have to be more accountable for what they take or what they pay. People that steal from children are just scum.

Snake Doctor · 12-01-2003, 03:02 PM

I can't stand it when people whine about child support.

I have serious issues with alimony, I don't think someone should get a monthly stipend just because they happened to be married to you once....but child support is a whole different story.

The guy's story that started this thread doesn't make sense to me....medical expenses that the insurance didn't cover?
Then don't pay the medical bills and let them sue you....don't skip out on your child support to pay the fucking hospital.

I don't know how it works in other states, but in Louisiana they have a book with tables in it. You add up the gross income of the mother and the father, find that number in the table and it gives you a dollar amount.
If you make 60% of the total combined income, then you're responsible for paying 60% of that dollar amount in child support. Pretty cut and dried.

As for the wife getting the house, it is normal for whomever keeps the kids to keep the house. Or would you rather stay in the house yourself and have your children living in a roach infested apartment?

They're your fucking kids, take care of them. They didn't ask to be born and you gave up your right to put yourself first when you had them.

Amputate Your Head · 12-01-2003, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lenny2
I can't stand it when people whine about child support.

I don't know how it works in other states, but in Louisiana they have a book with tables in it. You add up the gross income of the mother and the father, find that number in the table and it gives you a dollar amount.
If you make 60% of the total combined income, then you're responsible for paying 60% of that dollar amount in child support. Pretty cut and dried.

do you not see the flaws in that?

Flaw #1: Based on gross income. If NOT paying the IRS is an option, then fine... base it on gross income. Since that's not going to ever happen, the gross income justification is unjust.

Flaw #2: "If you make 60% of the total combined income, then you're responsible for paying 60% of that dollar amount in child support.": When this person was IN THE HOUSE, 60% of the household income was NOT going to the kids. It was going to alot of things. Mortgage, electric, water, auto insurance, etc. Except now that he's out, the kids just got a raise didn't they. 60% straight to the kids.

not cut and dried at all.... flawed.

KCat · 12-01-2003, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lenny2
They're your fucking kids, take care of them. They didn't ask to be born and you gave up your right to put yourself first when you had them.

DreamCumTrue · 12-01-2003, 03:34 PM

My dad has payed $440 a month since 1993 for my brother and I. The agreement says 18% of his income plus 50% of his stock from the company he works for. I feel bad because my mom struggled for so long, couldn't afford coats in the winter, and any time he got a raise, he never increased what he paid, and she still hasnt seen the stock. Now he is remarried, and she is still alone supporting my little brother, basically living check to check. I love my dad to death, but fuck, he could have helped her out more than he did.

12-01-2003, 11:50 AM	#3
MediumPimpin Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,488	Never, ever, ever get marrired Living proof above, I know of people is the same situation. __________________ nats.mediumpimpin.com

12-01-2003, 11:59 AM	#5
PersianKitty Meow Media Inc. Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: In the valley of the sun, cactus, tacos, tequila, and nod Posts: 7,785	Actually it's not the marriage part that gets you... it's the having kids part. __________________ Wondering what webmaster programs PK uses? Check them out here!

12-01-2003, 12:01 PM	#8
Raven Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 6,874	I often wonder what happened to the feminists who could bring home the bacon and cook it...when they said they were independent and didn't need men, not even for procreation. I see my sister in law...who manipulated her then husband into moving from hawaii to seattle.....in march of last year..by july, they were separated and officially they were divorced in October. In September, she already had a new boyfriend. Both she and her ex are living in the same house where he pays the bills and gives her a monthly stipend so she can clean the house and home school the kids. I don't get it and I AM a girl. __________________ Raven ~RETIRED~

12-01-2003, 12:02 PM	#9
Choker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Orlando Posts: 9,024	Sad thing is that the state agencies repsonsible for collecting child support payments fuck with guys who are not hiding and TRYING to make their payments. But will not waste their resources going after dads who are hiding and send no money at all. I am sent forms I have to fill out and mail with my payment every week. The form says on it in large font" DO NOT BEND OR STAPLE" I put the form in a very tiny envelope after a bend it at least 5 times to make it fit, and I add a few staples to make sure the envelope is secure. I stay well over $8000 ahead on payments, so what are they going to do to me? Fuck em __________________ ICQ me lets make a deal 116894466 Need dating, cam, or tube traffic? I got it.http://http://www.chokertraffic.com The Original http://www.chokertraffic.com/ Premium country pop-unders from $1.50 per k. I challenge you to compare this traffic to any other brokers. http://www.chokertraffic.com/public/tabs.php?t=o

12-01-2003, 12:10 PM	#12
Sly_RJ Live Hard - Die Hard Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Ready to leave... Posts: 17,042	The whole child support system is a crock of shit. __________________ PHAT SERVERS - Quality dedicated hosting at a quality price! sly AT phatservers DOT com - 147479144

12-01-2003, 11:47 AM	#1
angelsofporn Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: CA Posts: 3,218	child support Heard this guy on talk radio this morning who was calling from a payphone. He had a wife and kids and his wife left him and took the kids apparently. The judge ordered him to pay spousal support,child support etc plus his house went to the cause as well. So he made it for a little while making his payments but after a while he had some medical costs that came up and his insurance only covered a portion of them. So basically what ended up happening to this poor guy as a result of the California "make women millionaires while there husbands live in shit" laws, he ended up going to jail for non-payment of his child/spousal support while his wife is with a new guy. He was fully employed at this time so understandably his employer gave him the boot. So he gets out and gets another job meanwhile his car has been reposessed and he now owns nothing. So now he lives in a nissan sentra and goes to work every day to make his payments and the judge in the case wont do anything for him. morla of this story..never get married

12-01-2003, 11:50 AM	#2
fris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 55,372	marriage = early death ;) __________________ Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence. WP Stuff

12-01-2003, 11:56 AM	#4
angelsofporn Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: CA Posts: 3,218	everytime i have a big argument with my wife the first thing she starts taking about is...well i get this..and that..even though everything we own..houses etc..i bought marriage is a scam Someone posted here the other day something to the effect of When women say: I do They really mean: No more blowjobs No truer words have ever been spoken

12-01-2003, 12:00 PM	#6
HS-Trixxxia Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Montreal Canada Posts: 2,946	I'm sorry for being a bitch here (and I know most women would disagree with me) but what human in her right mind, would want her children's father out on the street (that goes for men who are living the highlife while his ex-wife and kids are living like paupers) I understand that shit happens, the love is no longer there and what-not - but to ask for something that is not possible or affordable just because you know that the judge making 200k (probably) is going to approve it because you gave birth to the child, is beyond me. I would never want to see my ex-husband starving and living in the streets because he has to give me money: 1) I'd go to work 2) If I had a new guy living with me, he'd be paying half the expenses and the adjustments would be made accordingly with my ex. 3) What do you tell your child as to why his father is starving although he works his ass off? Some women need to get their priorities straightened out. This also goes for the fathers that work illegally so his ex doesn't get a penny -nor his kids for that matter - & in the meantime, they are saving on food & clothes & he's living his life without problems and enjoying the new pussy....... People are just fucked up

12-01-2003, 12:02 PM	#10
Mr.Fiction Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Free Speech Land Posts: 9,484	If you have kids, you have to pay for them. That's life. Even if she marries some rich guy, he's still not the father.

12-01-2003, 12:17 PM	#13
HeadPimp Bad Mo-Fo Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 2,772	I wouldn't recommend marriage to anyone under 25, and then there needs to be a very detailed prenup written out and agreed to. The other thing to remember is that just because there are some hard working, intelligent women that hang out here, there are also a lot of sneaky, money grubbing women out there that really are after men, just to see what they can get out of them.

12-01-2003, 12:24 PM	#14
KCat Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: PNW Posts: 2,204	In Canada, child support is paid based on your income. A friend of mine got divorced a few years ago & based on his $30,000 a year income, he has to pay a little under $200 a month per kid. If he ever can't make a payment, he just contacts the child support office & lets them know. No biggie. Child support isn't the problem. It's when women are getting alimony for 20 years after only being married for 2. What a joke. But if you can't provide $200 a month for your child, you're not a fucking man.

12-01-2003, 12:26 PM	#15
Veterans Day Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: The Windy City Posts: 8,403	I agree fully with the above statements about the courts .Not all marriages are bad, its not a bad situation in the least, just the "quick to marry" theory when a child is conceived out of wedlock is total horseshit and 66% or 2 out of 3 end in divorce. But really the nerve of some of these fuckin women are crazy and all I can do is thank the lord I gotta good one for the past 12 years. Hot as fuck too

12-01-2003, 12:27 PM	#16
radical Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Bonnie Scotland Posts: 2,876	I agree the law in this area is fucked up!! __________________ ICQ: 166108967

12-01-2003, 12:34 PM	#18
arg Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 1,164	In the US, I gather alimony (spouse support, not child support) is increasingly rare, especially on more than a very temporary basis. Child support is usually required whether the parents were married or not, so folks warning of marriage, you should really be avoiding unprotected sex. Marriage and divorce have their own issues, but they're independent of child support. A friend of mine has been in jail a few times for a kid he had out of wedlock when he was 18, and hasn't been allowed to see for 8 years, because he's always behind in payments. And that does screw up your employability. He's largely to blame for not getting his s**t together more, but my point is that it can happen whether you marry or not.

12-01-2003, 01:11 PM	#19
Furious_Female Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Upstate, New York Posts: 8,187	It's sad that so many women use their children as tools to punish their husbands or ex husbands. While I am all for fathers that want to be a part of their children's life and do pay child support, I think it's wrong for the mother's to drain every cent out of them. In a lot of cases, the mother's end up using the money for themselves and not for the kids. Take for example my aunt... she married a guy at least 15 years older than her. He was married for 25 years before that, never had kids. My aunt knew he didn't want to have kids... but she kept pushing him and eventually had a baby. Then another one. She was only interested in securing her future for the next 18-20 years by using the kids as meal tickets, because they did get divorced and she ended up with the house and most of everything, even though HE had custody of the kids. At court once, she had a choice between the house or give up the kids... guess what she chose? I'd never want to make someone suffer just because I am bitter and selfish and I'd never want my kids to see that I am making their father suffer. There's nothing worse for a child to experience than thinking one parent hates the other. I don't believe in divorce, but if I ever got married and it came to an end, I wouldn't want anything more than I brought into it initially and what I contributed to it, during it. My fair share, not more than I contributed financially. I'm not sure why some women end up so hateful to the entire male population. As a female, I know men can be real assholes, but I don't believe in revenge when children are involved. If I had kids, my first priority would be making them happy and safe... my own wants/needs would come last. __________________ Skype: j3nn.com ICQ 160370494 My current favorite high-converting sponsor: CrakRevenue

12-01-2003, 01:16 PM	#20
laura99 Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: indianapolis Posts: 877	This guy I went to trucking school with had just gotten a divorce. His wife was to get like 50% of his income as alimony. He was a lawyer and I guess a damn good one that made a shit load of money, so he quit and became a truck driver for $30,000 a year haha. Guess he showed her. __________________

12-01-2003, 01:31 PM	#21
DirkG Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Eugene, OR Posts: 289	Child support laws in Oregon are crap too. They are ment to leave the father with $900 a month before taxes after child support. So with my 3 kids I pay $700 a month and bring home $230 a week for a 55 hour a week job. When I get raises, my child support goes up so I bring home the same amount. Its handled by the state. If I start to make less, they take away my drivers licence then in 30 days put me in jail if I dont start making more money. Exwife just bought a new Durango and a minivan. She is quiting her job at the end of the month to retire at the age of 32 thanks in part to what I pay and her new husband. While I cant afford to get my 11 year old car fixed and have to take the kids to school on my mountain bike. Its not always the mom who decides what to do to the father, its the state. She just goes along with it because its the law. They decide how much to take out, how to punish fathers who cant live on $900 a month, and it will never change. The easy advise is to never have kids. THat sucks. The better advise is to start hiding assets from day one. Purchase cars in company names that you dont have legal ties to, keep your saveing and investments in trusts or somewhere other than your name. Buy a house together, but expect to lose it since what is yours is really hers and not yours. It takes some time to set everything up, but most people have years before they split up. So start right away. If you are one of the lucky 40% who dont split up than when you retire you will be living even better due to all the savings and protected assets that have added up. __________________ Trade traffic with Totally4free TGP HERE aptgp III - If you aren't using it, you haven't seen it. DOWNLOAD NOW

12-01-2003, 01:34 PM	#22
jennym Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: the south Posts: 1,622	When I divorced my husband, I gave him everything! He had been divorced before, and his 1st wife took everything. I wasn't going to make him start over again. I did not ask for child support either. He helps buy what she needs and wants anytime he can. She is not missing out on anything. I would NEVER have my child's father put in jail over money. Women just fucking piss me off sometimes!!

12-01-2003, 01:39 PM	#26
DirkG Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Eugene, OR Posts: 289	My payments will also be going up at the end of the year since my exwife has chosen to quit her job and hang out with the kids all day. "Its for them". It will make them happier, so I get to pay even more. Thats fine by her becasue "its in the best interests of the kids" for her to not work anymore and for me to make up the difference. __________________ Trade traffic with Totally4free TGP HERE aptgp III - If you aren't using it, you haven't seen it. DOWNLOAD NOW

12-01-2003, 01:43 PM	#28
Gemini Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: o-HI-o Posts: 7,183	Our state has that percentage thing too... but if the county dealing with the CS doesn't have the mans income numbers, they just pull one out of the air. lmao Not the main counties, they have the manpower to get that info. But more than 1/2 work the smoke and mirrors. And a few years ago... the child support division had things all messed up... payments weren't getting sent to the wives and all sorts of problems... guess what? The men went to jail and when the problems were discovered, there wasn't even a Sorry handed out. Someone I knew, (deceased now) had his support taken from his check each week, yet like clockwork, the police picked him up on Friday after he got off (at his workplace no less) and lodged him in the county until Monday morn when he saw the judge. All due to the state holding up the payments. (They were IN the SAME room yet the 'computers" didn't get the funds from one side of the room to the other... they could have WALKED them over!)THat went on for 3 yrs. The cops even brought him a sandwich and coffee every week. lol Same cops each time. And the weeks the check actually made it to the ex wife... she called and said it didn't JUST to have him arrested. (Even though they could have looked in the system and seen the check had been mailed) __________________ <center><a target="_blank" href="http://dev.datedollars.com/index.php?s=signup&aid=535&cfg=aac"><img border="0" src="http://216.130.172.224/gfy/gsig.gif" width="490" height="100"></a><br><a href="http://dev.datedollars.com/index.php?s=signup&aid=535&cfg=aac" target="_blank"><b><font face="Arial"><font color="#FF99FF"> Buy me away from Slavedriver Smokey!<br>It's May Sig Sweeps!<font></b></center>

12-01-2003, 01:43 PM	#29
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	makes you wonder why they don't make the married couples pay a fixed amount of "support" every month towards the kids. Require them to spend a specific amount each and every month on the kids and live on $900 a month. Why not? They make the father do it after a split, so why not during the marriage? Are the kids not entitled to that until after a divorce? The exhorbitant amounts these courts require every month never fails to blow my mind. And zero regard for the father that now has to live in his car at a rest area on the freeway and dine on potato chips every night because it's all he can afford. He wasn't dining on potato chips & rice cakes during the marriage. Were the kids starving? Probably not in most cases. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

12-01-2003, 02:00 PM	#36
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	here's some real numbers from a real story: I know a guy (who shall remain unnamed) who's exwife managed to somehow get the court to make a judgement against him for $700 per child per month. He has 5 kids. This comes to $3500 a month in support. He had worked the same job for 18 years, and his gross monthly income was half that much. (small town) There's nothing he could do to suddenly double his income, which would cover the judgement but still leave him penniless. The court didn't care. The judgement stood. Obviously he couldn't pay, so they took everything he owned and put him in jail. He lost everything. Home, car, job, and his freedom. All because of some greedy fucking bitch. No one will ever convince me that the child support system is a good thing. __________________ SIG TOO BIG Last edited by Amputate Your Head; 12-01-2003 at 02:02 PM..

12-01-2003, 02:14 PM	#40
Raven Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 6,874	We are human; therefore, we procreate. There are easier ways. Rather than go through the state, get yourselves lawyers who negotiate, rather than court date. Realising that if you got along that well with your spouse, you'd still be married...allow the lawyers to do their jobs. There are excellent child advocate lawyers out there. The problem is not just the women..let's not forget the disappearing guy. Alimony, in some states, is now referred to as rehabilitation payments or whatever...and, it's designed to allow women who have stayed at home or had menial jobs so they could be with the kids...the opportunity to get vocational training so they can support themselves. The dilemma, as I see it, is this. When there are children, it's best if someone stays home. Period. There should be a bank account which allows the one who stays home ....a salary, as much as can be spared. If the marriage stays intact, then it's a great retirement fund. If the marriage goes astray, the one who stayed home for that time, gets it as a lump sum settlement. Child support should not go away; but, both parties need to contribute to a general fund. Parents who divorce should be forced to live in the same school district to allow their children access to both of them. __________________ Raven ~RETIRED~

12-01-2003, 02:17 PM	#41
BSleazy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: USA Posts: 6,721	On wednsday I have to go to court or whatever and establish paternity and what I'm going to have to pay for child support. I don't need an attourney for that do I? I think there is some kind of calculation they use for everyone to figure out how much you pay. __________________ icq 156131086

12-01-2003, 02:25 PM	#43
jaYMan peace&profit, Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 4,885	this does work the other way around. my sons mother is a total fucking deadbeat that is currently running from the law. she has one last chance at a court date, dec 10th. i hope she doesnt show. would love to see her in jail where her scabby ass belongs. __________________ peace&profit, jaYMan

12-01-2003, 02:46 PM	#46
Herb Kornfield Is on the 1 Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Philly Burbs Posts: 4,996	Always most important to take care of your children, but, people abuse the system really bad....Here is my tale. My wife's ex has claimed being broke, having not enough to make ends meet week to week and crying in general about how broke he is. Cant afford gas to drop her off, really was a sad story. We go to drop off my wife's daughter at her fathers house as usual after a weekend visit. The father again starts his I am so broke routine again with her. I walked over as they started getting a bit heated and asked them both what the deal is. He tells me that he wants support from her and has been talking to lawyers to sue for back support. Never before was the request for support made to her via the courts. I asked him how much money is he in need of, what can we work out that helps everyone while benefiting the child most importantly.... He refused any help from me, looked me dead in the eye and told me he was going to bankrupt me, lol..... We go to court, he gets 3 months back support in addition to the $500 a month plus us covering 100% of the child's healthcare. Then, he has a new truck, snowmobile, going on a cruise the kid tells us. His girlfriend with 2 other kids are now living there that the girlfriend gets support on, as well....the house he lives in was a gift from his parents. He refinanced the house, another 80k in the pocket. Got a new deck on his house, tatoos all over, even enrolled in the local community college, goes to the local pubs with his buddies every weekend like clock worrk. We have come to find that the child is living with his mother, not even in the same house as him. As he is cashing them checks each month. We have tried evey legal avenue that we can think of to correct this and make him accountable for these actions. Unfornately, the state of PA doesnt see things that way. Once a case is in the system you can drag this out for years with appeals, delays, etc. Bottom line here, if you are asking for or having to pay money, each party should have to be more accountable for what they take or what they pay. People that steal from children are just scum.

12-01-2003, 03:02 PM	#47
Snake Doctor I'm Lenny2 Bitch Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: On top of my soapbox Posts: 13,449	I can't stand it when people whine about child support. I have serious issues with alimony, I don't think someone should get a monthly stipend just because they happened to be married to you once....but child support is a whole different story. The guy's story that started this thread doesn't make sense to me....medical expenses that the insurance didn't cover? Then don't pay the medical bills and let them sue you....don't skip out on your child support to pay the fucking hospital. I don't know how it works in other states, but in Louisiana they have a book with tables in it. You add up the gross income of the mother and the father, find that number in the table and it gives you a dollar amount. If you make 60% of the total combined income, then you're responsible for paying 60% of that dollar amount in child support. Pretty cut and dried. As for the wife getting the house, it is normal for whomever keeps the kids to keep the house. Or would you rather stay in the house yourself and have your children living in a roach infested apartment? They're your fucking kids, take care of them. They didn't ask to be born and you gave up your right to put yourself first when you had them. __________________ sig too big

12-01-2003, 03:34 PM	#50
DreamCumTrue Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 2,985	My dad has payed $440 a month since 1993 for my brother and I. The agreement says 18% of his income plus 50% of his stock from the company he works for. I feel bad because my mom struggled for so long, couldn't afford coats in the winter, and any time he got a raise, he never increased what he paid, and she still hasnt seen the stock. Now he is remarried, and she is still alone supporting my little brother, basically living check to check. I love my dad to death, but fuck, he could have helped her out more than he did.