The Wisdom of Homer Simpson - post your favorite Homer quote here! - GoFuckYourself.com

Rictor · 06-21-2003, 12:12 PM

Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind! --Homer Simpson

Mmmm, sacrilicious. --Homer Simpson

Oh look at me!!! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land, with a gumdrop house on lollipop lane! Oh by the way...I was being sarcastic. --Homer Simpson

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that. --Homer Simpson

They have the Internet on computers, now? --Homer Simpson

Rictor · 06-21-2003, 12:13 PM

Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back...unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog. --Homer Simpson

Rictor · 06-21-2003, 12:13 PM

http://members.tripod.com/impinknet/Homer.html

Here's a bunch of them.

escorpio · 06-21-2003, 12:34 PM

"Rockstars. Is there anything they don't know?"

rooster · 06-21-2003, 12:57 PM

marge: is this what you thought married life would be like

homer: pretty much, but we'd drive around in a van solving mysteries.

jim manly · 06-21-2003, 01:55 PM

doh!!

detoxed · 06-21-2003, 02:03 PM

homer is cool

jollyperv · 06-21-2003, 02:05 PM

Saxamaphone....saxamaphone...

SpermbergMikey · 06-21-2003, 02:14 PM

"Let me tell you about the greatest place in the world - doggie heaven"

Ice · 06-21-2003, 02:58 PM

That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college! --Homer Simpson or was it Serge Oprano

Probono · 06-21-2003, 03:05 PM

Donuts

KC · 06-21-2003, 05:35 PM

Homer golfing with his boss... stuck in the sand trap.

homer's boss: "Use an open faced club, a sand wedge"
homer: "mmmmm... open faced club sandwich"

The Click · 06-21-2003, 05:38 PM

"I'd give it all up for some mag wheels" - Homer

420 · 06-21-2003, 05:40 PM

i sale short aim screen name "homer"

neuromancer · 06-21-2003, 05:51 PM

Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand

The Click · 06-21-2003, 05:51 PM

was it

[email protected]

i think that was it.

ADL Colin · 06-22-2003, 05:01 AM

"There's so much I don't know about astrophysics. I wish I'd
read that book by that wheelchair guy."

That's also my favorite episode.

Project-Shadow · 06-22-2003, 05:55 AM

"mmmmm.. gelatinated donut"

baddog · 06-22-2003, 06:02 AM

Alcohol, the cause of, and solution to all of the world's problems

twinkley · 06-22-2003, 06:13 AM

"they have the internet on computers now!!"

homer simpson

hehehehe

iroc409 · 06-22-2003, 06:20 AM

"shut up brain or i'll stab you with a q-tip"

Darrell · 06-22-2003, 06:44 AM

"Marge, I haven't learnt a thing"

DonnelKobe · 06-22-2003, 06:53 AM

<sung to the tune of golden crisp jingle>
"I guess I forgot to put the foglights in~~"

"He he he... you got the Dud!! <gestures to Milhouse> kinda' looks like you poindexter!!"

<After Stephen Hawking makes a speach>
"Hey, Larry Flynt is right!!"

"It's kind of like that guy who went into space.. what was his name?? Apollo Creed???"

<Homer> "Me and your mom have been talking, and we're thinking about giving up the puppies"
<Bart and Lisa> "NO!!"
<Homer>"Mainly your mother!"

I'm not sure if I got all of these verbatim. And this is one of my favorite Marge quotes:

<Marge: after pulling out Whiskey, Condoms and tampons from a shopping bag> "I don't know what you were planning for tonight, but count me out!"

Beastiepoo · 06-22-2003, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rictor
Oh look at me!!! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land, with a gumdrop house on lollipop lane! Oh by the way...I was being sarcastic. --Homer Simpson

That is my favourite quote and episode followed closely by -

"Homerclese cares not for beans!"

From the episode where he eats the big sandwich and is too sick to take the kids to Duff Gardens.

Maz · 06-22-2003, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KC
Homer golfing with his boss... stuck in the sand trap.

homer's boss: "Use an open faced club, a sand wedge"
homer: "mmmmm... open faced club sandwich"

lol

foe · 06-22-2003, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by baddog
Alcohol, the cause of, and solution to all of the world's problems

actually its beer, the cause of, and solution to all of the world's problems

RobertD · 06-22-2003, 10:09 AM

"There's no moral, it's just a bunch of stuff that happens."

jollyperv · 06-22-2003, 10:47 AM

Lenny: "...If I may compliment you homer, that's one handsome rattle snake you got biting your leg..."

Homer: "...ehh, he'll give up in about an hour....snakes, nature's quitters..."

CDSmith · 06-22-2003, 11:28 AM

<img SRC="http://members.shaw.ca/billy1-99/pics/homer.gif"> "Everybody in the world is stupid except me"

PhillipB · 06-22-2003, 11:31 AM

Apu: "I always knew Karma was baloney"
Homer: "Mmmmmm....caramel baloney"

The Click · 06-22-2003, 11:38 AM

"No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy"

"No TV and no beer make Homer someting something." "Go Crazy?" "Don't find if i do!!!!! Heehee.

SleazyDream · 06-22-2003, 12:00 PM

first you get the sugar
then you get the power
then you get the women

ldinternet · 06-25-2003, 11:19 AM

trying to sell sex tonic in a shopping mall,

Homer: excuse me sir, you look like a man who needs help in satisfying his wife

ldinternet · 06-25-2003, 11:24 AM

Marge: Homer, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life?

Homer: Of course not Marge, just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident, he didn't want to have me.

Marge: You didn't want to have Bart!

Homer: I know, but you're never supposed to tell the child

Marge: You tell Bart all the time, you told him this morning.

Homer: But when I do it, it's cute!

stevecore · 06-25-2003, 11:30 AM

"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

"Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?"

"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"

The Porn Dude · 06-25-2003, 11:34 AM

What are you gonna do? Sick your dogs on me? Or your bees? Or dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at me?

I don't want anything weird...just give me the mumu.

Homer: I'll take the 357
Gun Shop Guy: Ok you'll have to wait 3 days
Homer: 3 DAYS!!!! But I'm angry now.

sorry forgot this one

I like my beer cold...my TV loud...and my homosexuals flaming.

austinth · 06-25-2003, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Click
"No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy"

Damn! You beat me to it!

Jakke PNG · 06-25-2003, 11:36 AM

Bart about homer..

"My dad's always yelling that Whitey's keepin' him down."
-Bart Simpson

wizz · 06-25-2003, 11:39 AM

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. --Homer Simpson

SexSpaceman · 06-25-2003, 12:01 PM

Bart (reading from invitation): Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra "B" is for BYOBB.

Lisa: What that extra "B" for?

Homer: That's a Typo

ldinternet · 08-05-2003, 09:06 AM

Singing to himself in the bathroom mirror:

Oh Mindy,
You came and you stayed without flaking,
But I sent you ben gay,
Oh Andy!

Butrflied · 08-05-2003, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Click
"No TV and no beer make Homer someting something." "Go Crazy?" "Don't find if i do!!!!! Heehee.

You got my favorite!!

06-21-2003, 12:12 PM	#1
Rictor Old Timer Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 12,208	The Wisdom of Homer Simpson - post your favorite Homer quote here! Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind! --Homer Simpson Mmmm, sacrilicious. --Homer Simpson Oh look at me!!! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land, with a gumdrop house on lollipop lane! Oh by the way...I was being sarcastic. --Homer Simpson Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that. --Homer Simpson They have the Internet on computers, now? --Homer Simpson

06-21-2003, 12:34 PM	#4
escorpio I love to racism, bro! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA! USA! USA! Posts: 23,246	"Rockstars. Is there anything they don't know?" __________________ Unvaxxed, still alive.

06-21-2003, 01:55 PM	#6
jim manly Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Tacoma, WA Posts: 605	doh!! __________________

06-21-2003, 02:14 PM	#9
SpermbergMikey Registered User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SUNSHINE STATE! Posts: 74	"Let me tell you about the greatest place in the world - doggie heaven" __________________ FOCUS ADULT RIPPED ME OFF!

06-21-2003, 05:35 PM	#12
KC Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 1995 Posts: 2,417	Homer golfing with his boss... stuck in the sand trap. homer's boss: "Use an open faced club, a sand wedge" homer: "mmmmm... open faced club sandwich" __________________ Jupiter Hosting, Inc. Vice President, Business Development kc (AT) jupiterhosting.com

06-21-2003, 12:13 PM	#2
Rictor Old Timer Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 12,208	Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back...unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog. --Homer Simpson

06-21-2003, 12:57 PM	#5
rooster Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,384	marge: is this what you thought married life would be like homer: pretty much, but we'd drive around in a van solving mysteries.

06-21-2003, 02:03 PM	#7
detoxed vip member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 17,798	homer is cool

06-21-2003, 02:05 PM	#8
jollyperv Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: NYC Posts: 3,927	Saxamaphone....saxamaphone...

06-21-2003, 02:58 PM	#10
Ice Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny California Posts: 26,053	That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college! --Homer Simpson or was it Serge Oprano

06-21-2003, 03:05 PM	#11
Probono Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Under the Rainbow Posts: 2,731	Donuts

06-21-2003, 05:38 PM	#13
The Click Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 1,685	"I'd give it all up for some mag wheels" - Homer __________________ ICQ: 31-30-30

06-21-2003, 05:40 PM	#14
420 cuck Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 11,571	i sale short aim screen name "homer"

06-21-2003, 05:51 PM	#15
neuromancer Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 281	Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand

06-22-2003, 05:01 AM	#17
ADL Colin Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Tube Titans, USA Posts: 11,929	"There's so much I don't know about astrophysics. I wish I'd read that book by that wheelchair guy." That's also my favorite episode. __________________ Adult Date Link - $50 PPS starting NOW! -- good and JUICY! skype = "adultdatelink"

06-22-2003, 05:55 AM	#18
Project-Shadow Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 7,340	"mmmmm.. gelatinated donut"

06-22-2003, 06:02 AM	#19
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	Alcohol, the cause of, and solution to all of the world's problems

06-22-2003, 06:13 AM	#20
twinkley Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Pueblo, CO Posts: 807	"they have the internet on computers now!!" homer simpson hehehehe

06-22-2003, 06:20 AM	#21
iroc409 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: midwest side, yo Posts: 4,728	"shut up brain or i'll stab you with a q-tip" __________________ <a href="http://www.iroc409.com/"><img src="http://www.iroc409.com/adv/120x60.gif" border=0></a> icq: 1 7 6 4 2 0 9 6 0 Gallery templates for ONLY $25! w00t!

06-22-2003, 06:44 AM	#22
Darrell Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: In bed asleep Posts: 803	"Marge, I haven't learnt a thing"

06-22-2003, 06:53 AM	#23
DonnelKobe Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: California, USA Posts: 105	<sung to the tune of golden crisp jingle> "I guess I forgot to put the foglights in~~" "He he he... you got the Dud!! <gestures to Milhouse> kinda' looks like you poindexter!!" <After Stephen Hawking makes a speach> "Hey, Larry Flynt is right!!" "It's kind of like that guy who went into space.. what was his name?? Apollo Creed???" <Homer> "Me and your mom have been talking, and we're thinking about giving up the puppies" <Bart and Lisa> "NO!!" <Homer>"Mainly your mother!" I'm not sure if I got all of these verbatim. And this is one of my favorite Marge quotes: <Marge: after pulling out Whiskey, Condoms and tampons from a shopping bag> "I don't know what you were planning for tonight, but count me out!"

06-22-2003, 10:09 AM	#27
RobertD Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bellingham, WA Posts: 1,149	"There's no moral, it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." __________________ Sexy Latinas

06-22-2003, 10:47 AM	#28
jollyperv Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: NYC Posts: 3,927	Lenny: "...If I may compliment you homer, that's one handsome rattle snake you got biting your leg..." Homer: "...ehh, he'll give up in about an hour....snakes, nature's quitters..."

06-22-2003, 11:28 AM	#29
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	<img SRC="http://members.shaw.ca/billy1-99/pics/homer.gif"> "Everybody in the world is stupid except me" __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

06-22-2003, 11:31 AM	#30
PhillipB Just a Simple Carpenter Join Date: May 2003 Location: Your mom's house... Posts: 1,338	Apu: "I always knew Karma was baloney" Homer: "Mmmmmm....caramel baloney"

06-22-2003, 11:38 AM	#31
The Click Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 1,685	"No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" "No TV and no beer make Homer someting something." "Go Crazy?" "Don't find if i do!!!!! Heehee. __________________ ICQ: 31-30-30

06-22-2003, 12:00 PM	#32
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	first you get the sugar then you get the power then you get the women __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

06-25-2003, 11:19 AM	#33
ldinternet Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 8,245	trying to sell sex tonic in a shopping mall, Homer: excuse me sir, you look like a man who needs help in satisfying his wife

06-25-2003, 11:24 AM	#34
ldinternet Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 8,245	Marge: Homer, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life? Homer: Of course not Marge, just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident, he didn't want to have me. Marge: You didn't want to have Bart! Homer: I know, but you're never supposed to tell the child Marge: You tell Bart all the time, you told him this morning. Homer: But when I do it, it's cute!

06-25-2003, 11:30 AM	#35
stevecore Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 6,130	"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed." "Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?" "Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'"

06-25-2003, 11:34 AM	#36
The Porn Dude Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: There are two kinds of people in the world, those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig! Posts: 369	What are you gonna do? Sick your dogs on me? Or your bees? Or dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at me? I don't want anything weird...just give me the mumu. Homer: I'll take the 357 Gun Shop Guy: Ok you'll have to wait 3 days Homer: 3 DAYS!!!! But I'm angry now. sorry forgot this one I like my beer cold...my TV loud...and my homosexuals flaming. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Last edited by The Porn Dude; 06-25-2003 at 11:41 AM..

06-25-2003, 11:36 AM	#38
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	Bart about homer.. "My dad's always yelling that Whitey's keepin' him down." -Bart Simpson __________________ ..and I'm off.

06-25-2003, 11:39 AM	#39
wizz Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 634	You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. --Homer Simpson __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

06-25-2003, 12:01 PM	#40
SexSpaceman Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The Bay Area Posts: 129	Bart (reading from invitation): Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra "B" is for BYOBB. Lisa: What that extra "B" for? Homer: That's a Typo

08-05-2003, 09:06 AM	#41
ldinternet Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 8,245	Singing to himself in the bathroom mirror: Oh Mindy, You came and you stayed without flaking, But I sent you ben gay, Oh Andy!