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Old 05-29-2003, 12:36 PM   #1
FetishTemptress
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I really need some support here...........

Yesterday I had a dr. appointment.
(I am 12 weeks today). After trying to listen to the heartbeat and not finding one they did a sonogram (first they tried the normal one). They couldnt find a heartbeat so they did an internal one and nothing.
The baby measures 10-11 weeks so the baby just recently died. At my last sono - last month, everything was fine - heartbeat and all. My heart is crushed - never in a million years did I think my baby would die.
I got a picture of this sonogram to keep. The baby is perfectly formed. I just dont get it..Why?? The Dr. has called it a "Missed Miscarriage"
I can't believe my baby just died..I have cried and cried and the tears just keep coming. It hurst so much!! Did it hurt the baby?? I hold my stomach and talk to the baby and say I'm so sorry..I have talked to my mom and grandmother in heaven and asked that they watch over this baby for me. But, nothing is helping ..

FT**
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:40 PM   #2
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:42 PM   #3
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Very sorry to hear that.
In 99% of the cases it is not your fault. Miscarriages happen when in the course of its development; the fetus is not viable. It sounds awful, but that the way nature works. You will have to get emotional support, maybe a support group of women who had the same experience.
Get well soon.
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:42 PM   #4
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found no words to say
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:43 PM   #5
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this is no place for drama like that.
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:44 PM   #6
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Everything I try to think of to tell you sounds hollow. I really don't know what to say. My eyes are tearing up right now. I have a 3 year old that is my world. I can imagine what you're going through. But I'm sure I'd have to multiply the pain I imagine by 10 times, or 100, to actually feel what you feel.

I am so sorry.
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:45 PM   #7
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I don't think there is anything I could say to make you feel better. Very sorry to hear that and no it's not your fault. This happens more than most people want to believe.

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Old 05-29-2003, 12:45 PM   #8
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this is no place for drama like that.
lol
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:45 PM   #9
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Oh my....FetishTemptress I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

It is hard to lose a baby, and the feelings of loss are immense, I know. All I can say is if you need someone to talk to my icq # 21134089
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:46 PM   #10
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FetishTemptress, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:47 PM   #11
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I am so sorry FT my wife and i lost a baby last August. You have to realize that it just wasn't meant to be. It sounds hollow and offers little comfort I know but all you can do is try again. Always remember that it is NOT your fault. My wife had those feelings and they just aren't true. Sometimes it doesnt work and that is why you have to enjoy and treasure your children when they do come and they will. Once again I am so very sorry.
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:48 PM   #12
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I hope you have someone close that can be there for you and comfort you right now. I simply could not being to imagine what you are going thru.

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Old 05-29-2003, 12:50 PM   #13
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FT, sprry to hear about your loss. Having suffered a miscarriage recently myself (which I am still coming to terms with), I can definitely say I know how you feel. My deepest condolences. Hold on a little tighter to the children you do have and count your blessings in what you already have. It definitely helps the healing process.
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:51 PM   #14
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damnnnn ://

what dav555add said is true. There wasn't anything you could do... You'll have better days again, try to spend time with your people and not to think about it. I'm sorry hearing it :/
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:52 PM   #15
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Eva and me know how you feel two and a half years ago we had the same experience. Practically the same way, while Eva and I were at the doctors for a sonogram.

Get away from everything for a week with your partner and mourn. The grief will never go but the pain does. I'm now crying.

But it's not the end we now have a beautiful 16 month old girl.
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:52 PM   #16
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thats really sad

sheesh
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:53 PM   #17
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I am sorry to hear that hunny

Keep in mind that your body will notice when something is wrong before any doctor can. You body noticed that something is wrong with your baby and decided to not carry it to term.

I am so sorry, my heart breaks aches for you. My sister had 3 miscarriages until she finally had her first baby.

Hang in there
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:56 PM   #18
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:59 PM   #19
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Sorry to hear it. You have my sympathy
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Old 05-29-2003, 12:59 PM   #20
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I'm very sorry for your loss.

You have your new grandchild to look forward to. Not all is bad.
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:02 PM   #21
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I'm so sorry FT. If I could take the pain away I would. If you ever need to talk, my Q is n my sig, and you're welcome to talk to me anytime.

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Old 05-29-2003, 01:06 PM   #22
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That is horrible, i'm so sorry for you and you're baby, i can only imagine how you are feeling but you have got to find the strenght to get over it. I'm sure you will have another baby pretty soon if that is what you wish for.
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:16 PM   #23
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similar things happened to an ex gf of mine when she cheated on me and got pregnant to another guy. i didnt really care when it happened to her, because it wasnt mine and i was still upset,

but, damn you have my condolences :-(
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:21 PM   #24
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FT, I am so glad you came here to be with the people we hope we refer to ourselves as a part of an extended family...

You will never know what caused the miscarriage, but you cannot make this about you and what you did wrong.

The fetus was not viable for whatever reason, and you will have many opportunities to have children. You were spared a hardship in the long run.

Take some time and sort this all out and clear your head and come to terms, and let the hormone levels adjust back, being depressed is natural, miscarriage is a horrible experience for any woman to endure and the whacked out hormone levels don't help.

Look forward to your next pregnancy and recovery, there is no reason to live in the past :-)

We care, and get well babee :-)
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:25 PM   #25
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Condolences to you and your family. That has to be a very tough thing to handle.
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:27 PM   #26
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Sorry to hear about your loss. You need time to grieve over this so get away for a while and take some "you" time. A miscarriage is your body's way of telling you that something was wrong. Your baby is in Heaven now so you will always have your little Guardian Angel looking down over you. Again I am so sorry
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:31 PM   #27
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FT, I'm sooo sorry to hear that you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

If you are interesting in an online support group I know a VERY good group of girls who have gone through the same thing. Just shoot me any ICQ and I'll give you the info.

Take care of yourself, and know that there was nothing you could have done differently to change what happened. Right now, just focus on you....
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:33 PM   #28
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sorry
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:37 PM   #29
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I'm very sorry for you. I just have no ideal what else to say. I'm sure god will look at your child and may god bless you. I hope you have some close friends you can have come over and talk with. Me, when something likes this happens I just want to be by myself.
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:39 PM   #30
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:42 PM   #31
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well, sorry is all i can say for now.
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Old 05-29-2003, 01:47 PM   #32
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Man that sucks bad.
I wish you all the best.
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:08 PM   #33
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FT....:-( I'm truly sorry even if it doesn't describe the emotion properly. Everyday from the moment we are pregnant I think we hope and pray that our babies go full term and are healthy. I agree with steffie and think that our bodies know when the baby should go full term or not and reacts accordingly. Take good care of yourself. Get any and all emotional support you can and see a therapist who specializes in these cases. God Bless your little angel and may He look over you and protect you while you recover.
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:09 PM   #34
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Eric Clapton lost his three year old boy and wrote a beautiful song entitled "Tears in heaven" -
Play it and hear the words -he wrote for the poor unfortunate Callum, his son. Then listen again - The words will soon encapture your grief and when that happens, you know you are not alone.
Cry and try to feel the pain.
a missing life is not the same
as tears and joys and all their screams
those little ones - we build our dreams
Baby now, your pain has gone
no more suffering, never alone.
Don't think about who I could have been,
nor what I really should have seen
Mamma!
Colour the World, red white and blue!!
I'll always be here - Waiting for you....


Dyker
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:10 PM   #35
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Quote:
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Eric Clapton lost his three year old boy and wrote a beautiful song entitled "Tears in heaven" -
oh please....
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:12 PM   #36
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sorry to hear about your loss
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:27 PM   #37
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In some situations, those lacking any form of maturity are better off saying nothing.
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:32 PM   #38
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Quote:
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mrthumbs
In some situations, those lacking any form of maturity are better off saying nothing.
How ironic.

Sorry to hear about your loss FT. It'll take a while to heal, but you will.
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:33 PM   #39
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Sorry for your loss FT. I wish you the best.
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:38 PM   #40
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in our religion we call that destinty you can not do it anything
i am so sorry for you , your little human goes back near to god ..
so pls dont worry , he / she is in thrusted hands now
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:39 PM   #41
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Very sorry to hear that, why don't you give us a charity like March of Dimes or one that deals in what happened to you. let us donate some money to them in your name or something maybe we can help someone else in the future who will have this problem?
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:44 PM   #42
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Holy shit * hugs* I am sooo sooo sorry to hear that IF you need somone to talk to hit me up I got a good ear.

TOM
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Old 05-29-2003, 02:58 PM   #43
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Quote:
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mrthumbs
In some situations, those lacking any form of maturity are better off saying nothing.
i couldnt agree more. that was exactly my point with my remarks.
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Old 05-29-2003, 03:03 PM   #44
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FT I'm sorry to hear that
Somethings just aren't ment to be.
My heart goes out to you*hugs*. Please feel free to icq me *120482156* if you need anything.

P.S There is a star in heaven that belongs to you


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Old 05-29-2003, 03:11 PM   #45
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Some things have meaning to people -
I lost my first wife about ten yesr ago - Some time after I heard this song, and for some reason or other, It helped me put things back together.
We are not all the same -
I used to be a pro footballer - And a damn good one - But some times certain sentimental words have their significance.
My old man would say Al Jolson's words are good, My son would ask who the fuck is he?
We ain't all built the same -
My words were meant for a mother losing her baby - Not you. It wasn't the time to show your ignorance.
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Old 05-29-2003, 03:12 PM   #46
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sorry to hear
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Old 05-29-2003, 03:15 PM   #47
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That is simply horrible. There's no way to say it that can get any closer to what you must be going through. I'm very sorry.

I do not think you will find what you need, in terms of kindly given support without negativity, here, though. My advice would be to go offline, and spend time with people you care about.
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Old 05-29-2003, 03:16 PM   #48
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I am so very sorry for you. Nature has it's way of using a miscarrage to the best; I know that sounds cold but there is a reason it happened and it had nothing to do with you.

Fell good about yourself and when you are ready to try again, try again hopefully the genes will fall into the right places.
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Old 05-29-2003, 03:16 PM   #49
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very very sad

If you want to talk, icq 172759848
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Old 05-29-2003, 03:22 PM   #50
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Ahhh FT I'm so sorry to hear about your family's loss. I have a 2 year old who is my world and I cannot imagine going through what you and your loved ones are.

You're in our thoughts and prayers.

I know this is easier said than done, but try to keep in mind that it wasn't anything *you* did. Mother Nature is cruel in her decisions sometimes, just know that your baby loved you and is with you.

Take time off from everything and be with your family and dear friends, they can help you mend.


If you need another shoulder Q me 160003735
*warm heart felt hugs*

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Last edited by Coy; 05-29-2003 at 03:31 PM..
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