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Old 03-29-2003, 02:42 AM   #51
hybrid
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I thought of another one:

I once wrote a very depressing suicide note as a 'concept story' for a site called Themestream. Themestream was a site where writers could submit short stories, and other people could submit comments on your writing/story.

Next day, I had the cops bust into my apartment while I was sleeping. They said they recieved a call from someone on that site that I was going to kill myself.

I was standing there in my boxers pissed as hell as the cop turned her head into the living room and saw my glass bong with a sack sitting right next to it.

The fuckers gave me a ticket right there, and took my shit.
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Old 03-29-2003, 03:16 AM   #52
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Most stupid/embarassing thing i ever had was when i had my welcome party at Sobelair (Belgian airliner). When i was in flight school Sobelair was in deep need of F/O's (copilots) for their B767 fleet. The three best of the class would be given a seat in one of those babys. Finished flight school second best, did my B767 type rating and was given a seat in a Sobelair B767. They throw this big welcome party for the three of us. We arrived at the airport and the first thing that happened was a technishian on the tarmack asking us if i could drive one of the birds to the hangar for somekind of oil press prob. We took our seat, fired up only the right engine (number 2) because, why start two engines to just taxi it, right? We drove it to the first intersection and applied brake and the thing well...... it didn't stop..... just kept going. We kinda started to panic and parcked it in the dirt with it's nose wheel while everyone was watching. It appears that the press for the brakes only functions on the left engine or the APU (wich we also didn't fire up). Well, this was our first meeting with our new colleges..... kinda embarassing BIGtime.
The aircraft was pulled out the dirt with it's nose wheel, an experienced captein took the seat, fired up BOTH engines and drove it to the hangar. No damage was reported
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Old 03-29-2003, 03:28 AM   #53
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...When I was a kid I was curious and I asked my cousin to have sex with me.
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Old 03-29-2003, 03:48 AM   #54
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So it was my freshman year in high school.. I had just gotten back from a trip to hawaii, the plane food didn't do so well on my stomach. We have to go to an assembly in the school auditorium, very crowded. Suddenly I have to shit, but I can't get out, there is no way move until the assembly is done. I'm holding it in as best I can.. then the assembly ends, I'm very anxious to get up, but as soon as I stand up everything just dumps... right in my pants.

At that point I didn't have a car, so I had to walk home with a bunch of shit in my pants.
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Old 03-29-2003, 06:33 AM   #55
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I have used this true story as sales text a number of times:


When I was about 12 years old a friend of mine and I would always fuck with this hot 18 year old that rode our bus. Well, one day she got tired of it and undid her pants and pulled them down to reveal her pretty pink and white panties with a little bow."Well! what you going to do with it?", She asked. Mesmerized by the site of her panties, I couldn't say a thing. "Thats what I thought!", she said as she zipped up her pants and turned her head to look out the window. The rest of the ride was silent. But that image had been burnt into my young mind and a panty freak was born!
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Old 03-29-2003, 12:00 PM   #56
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Originally posted by quiet
nice thread

Yup - Nothing but wholesome, family entertainment here!

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Old 03-29-2003, 02:38 PM   #57
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There's about 24 hours left on this contest.

There's been some good ones so far. Let's get some more.

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Old 03-29-2003, 03:18 PM   #58
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While in my first year of highschool my family uprooted and moved to a filthy little town named Lebanon PA. 3/4 of the school year already finished I had no friends, nothing to do, and not even a hint of attraction from any girl in the entire school. After a month or so I get the notion this girl Lindsey has the hots for my scrawny, pale, irish ass so I take action on it and go to her house after school. Things heat up, as they had a tendency to do with this girl - she went down more often then prohosters - and for the first time since I'd left New York I'm getting head ~ out-fucking-standing!

:: thump :: thump :: thump :: a progressive thump/shuffle combination came from the downstairs hallway.

I meeped out "wait, i think someone's coming" but alas she continued to suck ~ I wasn't really going to argue at that point.

Her mom must have timed it perfectly because right as I climaxed the door swung open, Lindsey's head popped up, and I came all over everything ~ chin,hands,my shirt, her bed, everything. So there we met, eye to eye as I had just given her daughter an unintentional facial... it was silent.

Never in my life have I been so embarassed ~ I was frozen, my cock still in her hand twitching and purple - cum everywhere.
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Old 03-29-2003, 03:31 PM   #59
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Got caught jerking off by my mom.
I got caught jerking off by Pete's mom.
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Old 03-29-2003, 03:46 PM   #60
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Oh my, I have more stories than I could ever tell here. How about one from my early college days circa late nineties?

I met this girl online that went to my college and after chatting for a bit, we decided to hook up. She lived with her mom (who worked midnights at a local factory) and invited me over there and of course, I went. Well, one thing led to another and of course we end up in her bedroom. We fool around...I think we only went to third base that first night...but she did ask me to spend the night there and we both slept naked. Probably got to bed around 3 or 4 am...and her mom got home around 6 am, while we're both fast asleep.

Well, moms around the world have varying degrees of coolness with guys spending the night with their 19 year old daughters and this one wasn't extremely cool with it. The girl had locked her door and her mom saw a strange car in the driveway, so she started pounding on the door and the girl pushes me on the floor and throws a blanket over me and tells me to be quiet.

She then lets her mom in the room, who isn't fooled for a second, and comes over and pulls the blanket off my naked body and starts to yell at me and her daughter. I don't say a thing. She hands me my pants and I'm out of there as soon as I'm half dressed and don't talk to that girl for another 3 months until I bump into her at school.

We started dating then and it took me about 6 months before I could look her mom in the eyes.
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Old 03-29-2003, 05:12 PM   #61
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Originally posted by - Jesus Christ -
Once I set up an adult traffic program and it wasn't even a real virtual host, it was a folder from my other domain in a frame.

Then I used a company that will no longer be allowing adult transactions to accept payment.



I later pooped myself.

Damn me too!! oh how so...
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Old 03-29-2003, 05:33 PM   #62
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I wanted to impress Cheshire so I didn't masturbate for a whole week. It was torture and my balls hurt when I walked during Internext. Especially with all those strippers grinding on me <img src="http://www.socalsweets.com/PICT0277.JPG"> and when Nina was showing her ass <img src="http://www.socalsweets.com/PICT0155.JPG"> etc. etc.



Then I took a viagra because I wanted to be really hard for sweet Cheshire... So when I got to her room she started to unbutton my shirt... and she was scratching my chest with her fingernails... all she did was scrape my nipple a little bit and I look down like OH SHIT! my dick was pulsing in my pants in contractions and the jizz was soaking through... she started laughing and I turned red... that was so embarassing, but I think she felt embarassed too because no guy ever told her to do what I told her to do next and her cheeks got red it was so nice and I was very happy and the next morning she slapped me because while I was dreaming I must have said something about her and GFY and after that she never trusted me so there you have it I fucked up really bad but it was all good to the last drop.
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Old 03-29-2003, 06:50 PM   #63
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Originally posted by Turboface

Luclonely is not eligible for this contest

The most embarrasing thing that has ever happened to me is that I'm not eligible for this lame contest.

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Old 03-29-2003, 10:31 PM   #64
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The most embarrasing thing that has ever happened to me is that I'm not eligible for this lame contest.


No AZN allowed.

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Old 03-29-2003, 10:32 PM   #65
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you guys would sell your soul for a couple of pennies.
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Old 03-29-2003, 10:33 PM   #66
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and probably already did..
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Old 03-29-2003, 10:34 PM   #67
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you guys would sell your soul for a couple of pennies.

Have a problem talking about an embarassing situation that has happened to you?

You need to loosen up a little.

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Old 03-29-2003, 10:37 PM   #68
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So...when are you going to post the stories available for voting?
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Old 03-29-2003, 10:38 PM   #69
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no shit.

What can be said of a man who sits high in his mind and points at all that pass?
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Old 03-29-2003, 10:42 PM   #70
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Originally posted by Tala
So...when are you going to post the stories available for voting?

At 4:20pm EST, Sunday. The poll will run for 24 hrs - The board will decide the winners.

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Old 03-29-2003, 10:43 PM   #71
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You need to loosen up a little.

You pointing that out to me in public is quite emabarassing.


count me in.
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Old 03-29-2003, 10:45 PM   #72
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Originally posted by Turboface



At 4:20pm EST, Sunday. The poll will run for 24 hrs - The board will decide the winners.

Okay, thanks.

I need coffee.

LOTS of coffee.
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Old 03-29-2003, 10:48 PM   #73
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You pointing that out to me in public is quite emabarassing.


count me in.

Party on, dude.

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Old 03-29-2003, 10:53 PM   #74
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When I was about 15 I was looking at spice tv, I started jerking off and everything going smothly. Then I hear the door to my room opening and BOOOM. It was my mom's she caught me on the act. She told me "Oh, So thats what you do".

OMG, I was soooooo embarrased. But I got over that.
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Old 03-29-2003, 11:06 PM   #75
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Most embarrassing thing i've ever done..

17 years old -- driving a honda civic ex 5spd w/ a little work done under the hood.

My friend tells me hes going out to the next town over to pick something up (herb) anyway, i figure, what the hell, im gonna go pick on him on the road... So i wait like down this deserted road on the corner for a while, i was thinking, pull out right in back of him and bug him out kinda thing...

So im sitting there for like 10 minutes, and all of a sudden, i see the jeep w/ the thule roof rack coming down the road... I rip out behind him bangin threw the gears, end up passing him in a crazy furey, hes honking his horn, swerving, you know, playing along. Corner comes up, i must take this corner every day, 3 times a day, im doing 85, start to downshift into 4th, corner comes up i spin out, car does a 180, rear goes into a telephone pole, knocked that over, and smashed the rear of my car up to where i was sitting in the drivers seat... Jeep pulls up behind me as im climbing out my wrecked drivers side window. Out yells, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?"

Definatly wasnt my friend but another driver, man i thought to myslef, WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT!

Then my friend pulls up to the accident scene was like, Dude, what the hell... yeah thats my story, 100k please!
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Old 03-29-2003, 11:11 PM   #76
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Originally posted by matty
Most embarrassing thing i've ever done..

17 years old -- driving a honda civic ex 5spd w/ a little work done under the hood.

My friend tells me hes going out to the next town over to pick something up (herb) anyway, i figure, what the hell, im gonna go pick on him on the road... So i wait like down this deserted road on the corner for a while, i was thinking, pull out right in back of him and bug him out kinda thing...

So im sitting there for like 10 minutes, and all of a sudden, i see the jeep w/ the thule roof rack coming down the road... I rip out behind him bangin threw the gears, end up passing him in a crazy furey, hes honking his horn, swerving, you know, playing along. Corner comes up, i must take this corner every day, 3 times a day, im doing 85, start to downshift into 4th, corner comes up i spin out, car does a 180, rear goes into a telephone pole, knocked that over, and smashed the rear of my car up to where i was sitting in the drivers seat... Jeep pulls up behind me as im climbing out my wrecked drivers side window. Out yells, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?"

Definatly wasnt my friend but another driver, man i thought to myslef, WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT!

Then my friend pulls up to the accident scene was like, Dude, what the hell... yeah thats my story, 100k please!

Major points - That is classic!

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Old 03-29-2003, 11:34 PM   #77
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Originally posted by Turboface



Major points - That is classic!

First time i've heard that response to that story. SOOOO embarassing

LOL but cool, glad you could get some comic relief from such a rough story.

Here's the rest of it... Ambulance comes, are you hurt sir? No ma'am, im fine. Meanwhile 5-0's are searching my car from the Cigarette lighter to the catalitic converter for drugs and booze.

Cop takes the wheels away, i get a bill from Southern New England Telephone (SNET) for $1700 for that fucking telephone pole i blew out.

Anyway, 'ol pops picks me up, drives me home, i go to sleep, IMMEDIATELY, wake up in the morning, pillow covered in blood... im like What THE FUCK.. Reach up to my head, fine more blood. Turns out, the rear windshield shattered over my head and I had small glass shards sticking in my head. I guess the Adrenaline kept the pain down.. WOW, what a fuckin idiot. Stupid memories... And to think I sold out on that for a CHANCE to win some traffic LOL..
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Old 03-30-2003, 12:12 AM   #78
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There have been some great ones. Which post do you guys like the most?

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Old 03-30-2003, 12:27 AM   #79
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she went down more often then prohosters
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Old 03-30-2003, 10:31 AM   #80
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Exactly 4 hours left....


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Old 03-30-2003, 01:01 PM   #81
Va2k
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um alot of things lmao lets see, I think the most wait the TOP moment was when I got caught selling my dick to phat women for money. My house got raided my picture was in the newspaper * 7 str8 days front page* I was the butt of all jokes on the moring raido stations, In big bold letters on the Front of the paper Couple busted for selling sex ONLINE,

I was on the news fuck even cnn picked it up, Had jerry springer ringing my phone all the talk shows and yea I had to go on montel williams that was the 2nd moment in my life supprisd i didnt fall out on the stage from being so fucked up. yeap that was the worse time.

The raido station fm 99 wnor wanted to go out to mt trashmore in norfolk va and fly a banner to get our sex toys back from the police, have hamburgers hot dogs *in the shape of sex toys* and they were going to name it Mt TomMore/MtTenaya day. It was really fucked up! Had collage kids comming over to sit down and talk to us something for a initiation week *shrugs* Had guys from the strip clubs begging us yes MY phat ass to, to work with them and dance together at their clubs I WOULD say this was the worse time in my life *shrugs*

Now I peddel porn what a life eh?
HEHE

TOM
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Old 03-30-2003, 01:19 PM   #82
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my (ex) girlfriend and i were having some beers at a party when her friends(all girls) said that they wanted to see something nasty...

so after a few more beers, we decided to check into a motel nearby. me and my gf got it going and we started fooling around. i was thinking, shit, this could be my chance to get it on with 3 hot chicks at the same time.

when my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob, it turns out i had too many peanuts and too much gas. i couldn't keep it any longer so i farted. hey, i didn't think it would be that loud and that smelly.. but it came out worse... and as it turns out, my gf, had too many beers so she puked all over my balls and thighs..

i broke up with her the next day. at least her friends got the nasty part right..
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Old 03-30-2003, 01:58 PM   #83
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Ok - The contest is officially over.

I just have to go through and pick the top 10 funniest ones (in my opinion) and I'll be posting them on a poll in a little while, that will run for 24 hours.

The three stories that get the most votes will be our winners.



Last edited by Turboface; 03-30-2003 at 02:36 PM..
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Old 03-31-2003, 01:00 AM   #84
hybrid
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so....who won?
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Old 03-31-2003, 01:09 AM   #85
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so....who won?

I'm just going through all the entries and trying to narrow down the top 10 finalists. Also, I'm waiting for the DNS to 'propagate' for my site. I just moved it to it's new and final home today.

I'll have the 10 finalists up on a poll for tomorrow (Monday) afternoon.

If anyone wants to check out my site in the meantime, I've got it temporarily over HERE.


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Old 03-31-2003, 01:10 AM   #86
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rightthefuckon, man.

Thanks
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