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Old 11-13-2014, 08:52 AM   #1
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1 Corinthians 15:4

"And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:"

If God is fair and just then why was Jesus resurrected after only 3 days while I wait in limbo for 4458? Let me tell you why.

For the last 12 years, 2 months and 14 days I've watched from above while my son tarnished our family name by committing sins against nature and perpetuating ongoing lies about himself and my Military career. Seeing this great injustice, our almighty God has granted me a new lease on life by allowing me to return and set some facts straight.

I'm sure you will have many questions and I'll try to answer each and every one.
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Old 11-13-2014, 08:54 AM   #2
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pigshit..
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Old 11-13-2014, 08:55 AM   #3
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GFY idiot
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Old 11-13-2014, 08:57 AM   #4
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LOL Too funny!
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Old 11-13-2014, 08:58 AM   #5
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GFY idiot

You must be referring to my son. Yes he is an idiot.
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Old 11-13-2014, 08:59 AM   #6
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LOL Too funny!
Sorry but I fail to see the humor of the situation.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:04 AM   #7
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This thread has the potential to be a gfy classic.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:12 AM   #8
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:16 AM   #9
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Now that's a great movie. I just saw it again 8 days ago. We watch it on November 5th every year in Heaven.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:17 AM   #10
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I have a better quote for you:
Ezekiel 25:17
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
The single coolest line from Pulp Fiction

If you need the cooler version view the video
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:18 AM   #11
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Ezekiel 23:20

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:19 AM   #12
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Now that's a great movie. I just saw it again 8 days ago. We watch it on November 5th every year in Heaven.
Did you have a high-res erection when you came, back?
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:20 AM   #13
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"And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:"

If God is fair and just then why was Jesus resurrected after only 3 days while I wait in limbo for 4458? Let me tell you why.

For the last 12 years, 2 months and 14 days I've watched from above while my son tarnished our family name by committing sins against nature and perpetuating ongoing lies about himself and my Military career. Seeing this great injustice, our almighty God has granted me a new lease on life by allowing me to return and set some facts straight.

I'm sure you will have many questions and I'll try to answer each and every one.
go watch sum porn! enjoy sum sin see you in hell!!
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:26 AM   #14
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Just in time for theking to die.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:26 AM   #15
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Did you have a high-res erection when you came, back?
No erection yet but I'll be seeking the pleasurable company of women soon. First things first though. I need to find a good weed connection. The grass we smoke in Heaven is top grade. To compete with it I may need to get a medical marijuana card or move to Colorado.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:27 AM   #16
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Ezekiel 23:20

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Are you trying to say he sucks donkey dick?
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:41 AM   #17
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Just in time for theking to die.
I think he is already dead. Pathfinder was resurrected and found his sons computer open to GFY.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:44 AM   #18
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This thread has the potential to be a gfy classic.
I think it will be a few pages
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:57 AM   #19
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No erection yet but I'll be seeking the pleasurable company of women soon. First things first though. I need to find a good weed connection. The grass we smoke in Heaven is top grade. To compete with it I may need to get a medical marijuana card or move to Colorado.
1 Kings 1:2 Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat.

Ezekiel 34:29 And I will raise up for them a plant of renown, and they shall be no more consumed with hunger in the land, neither bear the shame of the heathen any more.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:59 AM   #20
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I think he is already dead. Pathfinder was resurrected and found his sons computer open to GFY.
I wish that were the case. The only inner peace I have is knowing that homosexuality is a sin which God doesn't take lightly. Because of this "theking" will burn in hell for eternity.
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Old 11-13-2014, 10:02 AM   #21
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Didn't think anyone on this forum would be religious.
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Old 11-13-2014, 10:05 AM   #22
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I wish that were the case. The only inner peace I have is knowing that homosexuality is a sin which God doesn't take lightly. Because of this "theking" will burn in hell for eternity.
Genesis 32:25 And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.
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Old 11-13-2014, 10:08 AM   #23
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Didn't think anyone on this forum would be religious.
Religion isn't as people here on Earth believe. The Bible was written by man and while it has some great stories and teachings it's also full of flaws and misinformation. Things in Heaven are vastly different than most expect upon arrival.

Had I known this I would have fucked and drank lot more before my Son had the chance to murder me in 02.
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Old 11-13-2014, 10:19 AM   #24
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This is gold.
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Old 11-13-2014, 10:22 AM   #25
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well, ok then...
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Old 11-13-2014, 10:28 AM   #26
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Le roi est mort, vive le roi!
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Old 11-13-2014, 10:47 AM   #27
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How do you feel about your son being a homo?

Edit: I see you already answered above. Thanks!!!
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Old 11-13-2014, 11:20 AM   #28
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How do you feel about your son being a homo?

Edit: I see you already answered above. Thanks!!!
I'm absolutely disgraced by it. As a child he had a collection of G.I. Joe figures that he played with. He had to be taken to the emergency room three times to have them removed from his ass. We finally stopped giving him toys that would fit there but that didn't stop him from trying. At least he was a creative child. The thought that he would make dick shaped toys by baking a mixture of flour, salt and water never crossed my mind. Things only got worse when we bought him a puppy. After that, peanut butter was no longer allowed in our home.
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Old 11-13-2014, 11:24 AM   #29
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Old 11-13-2014, 11:49 AM   #30
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I'm absolutely disgraced by it. As a child he had a collection of G.I. Joe figures that he played with. He had to be taken to the emergency room three times to have them removed from his ass. We finally stopped giving him toys that would fit there but that didn't stop him from trying. At least he was a creative child. The thought that he would make dick shaped toys by baking a mixture of flour, salt and water never crossed my mind. Things only got worse when we bought him a puppy. After that, peanut butter was no longer allowed in our home.
And out of all names he picked "The King"?
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Old 11-13-2014, 11:53 AM   #31
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So who have I keen sending my jerk-off videos too?
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Old 11-13-2014, 12:04 PM   #32
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And out of all names he picked "The King"?
Apparently so.
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Old 11-13-2014, 02:20 PM   #33
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Old 11-13-2014, 02:42 PM   #34
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H e

I s

R i s e n




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Old 11-13-2014, 02:44 PM   #35
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Predictable.
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Old 11-13-2014, 02:47 PM   #36
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Way too much Religion for gfy
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Old 11-13-2014, 02:48 PM   #37
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I prefer ...

Ezekiel 23:20

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
I too read Reddit.
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Old 11-13-2014, 02:58 PM   #38
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mind? blown.
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Old 11-13-2014, 03:00 PM   #39
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It's a miracle!
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Old 11-13-2014, 03:35 PM   #40
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Can someone give me the short version of what this is all about.
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Old 11-13-2014, 03:44 PM   #41
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Can someone give me the short version of what this is all about.
I'd be very impressed with a short version that includes this thread in its' explanation.
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Old 11-13-2014, 03:58 PM   #42
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Elvis is alive ?
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Old 11-13-2014, 04:48 PM   #43
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So where is your son right now? Is he fighting wild grizzly bears or has male nurses' fist up his rectum?
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Old 11-13-2014, 04:53 PM   #44
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Now that's a great movie. I just saw it again 8 days ago. We watch it on November 5th every year in Heaven.
For the technically curious - what format do they use in heaven? Beta, VHS, DVD...Blu-ray?

Or does it just appear in an ethereal mist?




Is the popcorn buttered?
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Old 11-13-2014, 04:55 PM   #45
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You must be referring to my son. Yes he is an idiot.
The apple never falls far from the tree. Even if the tree is dead.
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Old 11-13-2014, 05:18 PM   #46
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The apple never falls far from the tree. Even if the tree is dead.
Truth be told he's adopted.
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Old 11-13-2014, 05:22 PM   #47
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If there were a god he/she would be a serious piece of shit for allowing what happens in their name.
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Old 11-13-2014, 05:23 PM   #48
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Elvis is alive ?
sure give me $2000 ill tell you where he is
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Old 11-13-2014, 05:37 PM   #49
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Old 11-13-2014, 06:14 PM   #50
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50 resurrections
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