1 Corinthians 15:4
 

"And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:"

If God is fair and just then why was Jesus resurrected after only 3 days while I wait in limbo for 4458? Let me tell you why.

For the last 12 years, 2 months and 14 days I've watched from above while my son tarnished our family name by committing sins against nature and perpetuating ongoing lies about himself and my Military career. Seeing this great injustice, our almighty God has granted me a new lease on life by allowing me to return and set some facts straight.

I'm sure you will have many questions and I'll try to answer each and every one.

pigshit..

GFY idiot

LOL Too funny!

You must be referring to my son. Yes he is an idiot. :disgust

Sorry but I fail to see the humor of the situation.

This thread has the potential to be a gfy classic.

Now that's a great movie. I just saw it again 8 days ago. We watch it on November 5th every year in Heaven.

I have a better quote for you:
Ezekiel 25:17
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
The single coolest line from Pulp Fiction

If you need the cooler version view the video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujm9BLzaaBo

I prefer ...

Ezekiel 23:20

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Did you have a high-res erection when you came, back?

go watch sum porn! enjoy sum sin :evil-laug see you in hell!! :thumbsup

Just in time for theking to die.

No erection yet but I'll be seeking the pleasurable company of women soon. First things first though. I need to find a good weed connection. The grass we smoke in Heaven is top grade. To compete with it I may need to get a medical marijuana card or move to Colorado.

Are you trying to say he sucks donkey dick?

I think he is already dead. Pathfinder was resurrected and found his sons computer open to GFY. :thumbsup

I think it will be a few pages :thumbsup

1 Kings 1:2 Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat.

Ezekiel 34:29 And I will raise up for them a plant of renown, and they shall be no more consumed with hunger in the land, neither bear the shame of the heathen any more.

I wish that were the case. The only inner peace I have is knowing that homosexuality is a sin which God doesn't take lightly. Because of this "theking" will burn in hell for eternity.

Didn't think anyone on this forum would be religious.

Genesis 32:25 And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.

Religion isn't as people here on Earth believe. The Bible was written by man and while it has some great stories and teachings it's also full of flaws and misinformation. Things in Heaven are vastly different than most expect upon arrival.

Had I known this I would have fucked and drank lot more before my Son had the chance to murder me in 02.

This is gold.

well, ok then...

Le roi est mort, vive le roi!

How do you feel about your son being a homo? :winkwink:

Edit: I see you already answered above. Thanks!!!

I'm absolutely disgraced by it. As a child he had a collection of G.I. Joe figures that he played with. He had to be taken to the emergency room three times to have them removed from his ass. We finally stopped giving him toys that would fit there but that didn't stop him from trying. At least he was a creative child. The thought that he would make dick shaped toys by baking a mixture of flour, salt and water never crossed my mind. Things only got worse when we bought him a puppy. After that, peanut butter was no longer allowed in our home.

And out of all names he picked "The King"?

So who have I keen sending my jerk-off videos too?

Apparently so.

:pimp:pimp:pimp:pimp

Predictable.

Way too much Religion for gfy

I too read Reddit.

mind? blown.

It's a miracle!

Can someone give me the short version of what this is all about.

I'd be very impressed with a short version that includes this thread in its' explanation.

Elvis is alive ?

So where is your son right now? Is he fighting wild grizzly bears or has male nurses' fist up his rectum?

For the technically curious - what format do they use in heaven? Beta, VHS, DVD...Blu-ray?

Or does it just appear in an ethereal mist?




Is the popcorn buttered?

The apple never falls far from the tree. Even if the tree is dead. :)

Truth be told he's adopted.

If there were a god he/she would be a serious piece of shit for allowing what happens in their name.

sure give me $2000 ill tell you where he is

50 resurrections