Horrible, Offensive and yet hilarious jokes. Post yours! - GoFuckYourself.com

2MuchMark · 12-30-2013, 04:18 PM

Horrible, Offensive and yet hilarious jokes. Post yours!

I'll start.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's better than winning 10 gold medals at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded (OMG)

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling. (I'm going to Hell for sharing that one)

Peace.

Zuzana Designs · 12-30-2013, 04:20 PM

I heard this one over the holidays. How do you know if your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

L-Pink · 12-30-2013, 07:27 PM

You know you're girlfriend's too young when you have to make an airplane noise to get your cock in her mouth.

L-Pink · 12-30-2013, 07:33 PM

What's worse than sucking 12 raw oysters out of your grandma's pussy? Realizing you only put in 11.

dyna mo · 12-30-2013, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zuzana Designs

I heard this one over the holidays. How do you know if your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

i lol because it's funny, and it's true!

xNetworx · 12-30-2013, 07:38 PM

Why can't Stevie Wonder read?

Because he is black.

escorpio · 12-30-2013, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

You know you're girlfriend's too young when you have to make an airplane noise to get your cock in her mouth.

That was funny but unfortunately you're going to hell now.

Spunky · 12-30-2013, 07:44 PM

What's the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered woman's shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's best for her.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already done told her twice.

What's the definition of a perfect woman???
(1)She's three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth and her head is flat so you can put a pint glass on it.
(2)The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold in.
(3)The economy model fucks all evening and at midnight turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack.

ExtremeBank_Adam · 12-30-2013, 07:45 PM

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken.

mineistaken · 12-30-2013, 08:00 PM

Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.

Wellness Cash · 12-30-2013, 08:08 PM

Doctors say that Michael Schumacher's condition hasn't changed overnight.

And that he is "Still an arrogant German cunt."

----

Nigella Lawson has come out in sympathy over Michael Schumacher's accident.

She is quoted as saying "I know exactly how he feels. I, myself have been pretty fucked up after a faceful of snow."

----

Nelson Mandela has been described in South Africa as 'The Father Of Our Nation'.

And like most black fathers, he wasn't around for a good twenty years.

----

Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...

Unless you're Chinese, then it's "squirrel".

AllAboutCams · 12-30-2013, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

What's worse than sucking 12 raw oysters out of your grandma's pussy? Realizing you only put in 11.

WTF i just puked a little

J. Falcon · 12-30-2013, 08:28 PM

Leroy came home from school one day and went to talk to his mother.
"Mamma, today in school we did the alphabet and all the kids only got to the letter M and i got to the letter Q. Is that because i am black?"
"No Leroy, thats because you are clever." his mother answered.
The next day Leroy again spoke to his mother after school.
"Mamma, today we did the times table. I got to the 4 times table and the other kids could only reach the 3 times table. Is that because i am black?"
His mother again replied.
"No Leroy, thats because you are clever"
On the third day Leroy came home and excitedly told his mother about his day.
"Mamma, today at school we went swimming, and the other kids had little dicks like button mushrooms, but my dick was huge like a hose. Is THIS because i am black?"
And his mother replied.
"No Leroy this is because you are 26 and the other kids are 5!"

John-ACWM · 12-31-2013, 02:19 AM

horrible, offensive and yet hilarious they were

CurrentlySober · 12-31-2013, 02:33 AM

https://gfy.com/showpost.php?p=16975500&postcount=188

HuHy · 12-31-2013, 02:40 AM

I LOL'd so hard, I'm sweating right now.

georgeyw · 12-31-2013, 02:47 AM

A priest jumped into a cab, told the driver where he wanted to go and fell asleep.

A few minutes down the road he woke up to 3 loud bangs.

He asked the driver "what were those bangs?"

The driver replied "i ran over an abo"

Priest asked "so what were the other two bangs?"

Driver "I had to go through two fences to get him"

TampaToker · 12-31-2013, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

You know you're girlfriend's too young when you have to make an airplane noise to get your cock in her mouth.

thats bad

12-30-2013, 04:18 PM	#1
2MuchMark Videochat Solutions Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 49,124	Horrible, Offensive and yet hilarious jokes. Post yours! Horrible, Offensive and yet hilarious jokes. Post yours! I'll start. How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. What's better than winning 10 gold medals at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded (OMG) How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling. (I'm going to Hell for sharing that one) Peace. __________________ Custom Coding \| Videochat Solutions \| Age Verification \| IT Help & Support www.2Much.net

12-30-2013, 04:20 PM	#2
Zuzana Designs All Your Design Needs Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: [email protected] Posts: 20,826	I heard this one over the holidays. How do you know if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. __________________ Website Design - Consulting - Development sarah [at] zuzanadesigns.com - See Our Work Last edited by Zuzana Designs; 12-30-2013 at 04:23 PM..

12-30-2013, 07:44 PM	#8
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,939	What's the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered woman's shelter? The dishes, if she knows what's best for her. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already done told her twice. What's the definition of a perfect woman??? (1)She's three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth and her head is flat so you can put a pint glass on it. (2)The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold in. (3)The economy model fucks all evening and at midnight turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack. __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

12-30-2013, 07:45 PM	#9
ExtremeBank_Adam Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 1,671	What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken. __________________ ExtremeBank.com, the EXTREME program for the Pornicate.com Network of sites: Naughty Alysha, Roxy Raye, Buddha Bang, Angie Noir, Fisting Sex, Extreme Ty & many more. Email: adam [at] extremebank.com \| ICQ: 331-797-412

12-30-2013, 08:08 PM	#11
Wellness Cash Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: Murica Posts: 343	Doctors say that Michael Schumacher's condition hasn't changed overnight. And that he is "Still an arrogant German cunt." ---- Nigella Lawson has come out in sympathy over Michael Schumacher's accident. She is quoted as saying "I know exactly how he feels. I, myself have been pretty fucked up after a faceful of snow." ---- Nelson Mandela has been described in South Africa as 'The Father Of Our Nation'. And like most black fathers, he wasn't around for a good twenty years. ---- Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say... Unless you're Chinese, then it's "squirrel". __________________ Wellness Cash - Launching 2014

12-30-2013, 07:27 PM	#3
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	You know you're girlfriend's too young when you have to make an airplane noise to get your cock in her mouth.

12-30-2013, 07:33 PM	#4
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	What's worse than sucking 12 raw oysters out of your grandma's pussy? Realizing you only put in 11.

12-30-2013, 07:38 PM	#6
xNetworx So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Whore Island Posts: 14,445	Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he is black.

12-30-2013, 08:00 PM	#10
mineistaken See signature :) Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: ICQ 363 097 773 Posts: 29,656	Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.

12-30-2013, 08:28 PM	#13
J. Falcon www.AdultCopywriters.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 31,612	Leroy came home from school one day and went to talk to his mother. "Mamma, today in school we did the alphabet and all the kids only got to the letter M and i got to the letter Q. Is that because i am black?" "No Leroy, thats because you are clever." his mother answered. The next day Leroy again spoke to his mother after school. "Mamma, today we did the times table. I got to the 4 times table and the other kids could only reach the 3 times table. Is that because i am black?" His mother again replied. "No Leroy, thats because you are clever" On the third day Leroy came home and excitedly told his mother about his day. "Mamma, today at school we went swimming, and the other kids had little dicks like button mushrooms, but my dick was huge like a hose. Is THIS because i am black?" And his mother replied. "No Leroy this is because you are 26 and the other kids are 5!" __________________ Adult Copywriters SEO Content for Porn Sites sales at adultcopywriters dot com

12-31-2013, 02:19 AM	#14
John-ACWM Work Work Work Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: EU Posts: 20,060	horrible, offensive and yet hilarious they were __________________ Video Chat Forum

12-31-2013, 02:33 AM	#15
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,625	https://gfy.com/showpost.php?p=16975500&postcount=188 __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

12-31-2013, 02:40 AM	#16
HuHy Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 40	I LOL'd so hard, I'm sweating right now.

12-31-2013, 02:47 AM	#17
georgeyw 58008 53773 Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 9,864	A priest jumped into a cab, told the driver where he wanted to go and fell asleep. A few minutes down the road he woke up to 3 loud bangs. He asked the driver "what were those bangs?" The driver replied "i ran over an abo" Priest asked "so what were the other two bangs?" Driver "I had to go through two fences to get him" __________________ TripleXPrint on Megan Fox "I would STILL suck her pussy until her face caved in. And then blow her up and do it again!"