Doctors say that Michael Schumacher's condition hasn't changed overnight.
And that he is "Still an arrogant German cunt."
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Nigella Lawson has come out in sympathy over Michael Schumacher's accident.
She is quoted as saying "I know exactly how he feels. I, myself have been pretty fucked up after a faceful of snow."
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Nelson Mandela has been described in South Africa as 'The Father Of Our Nation'.
And like most black fathers, he wasn't around for a good twenty years.
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Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese, then it's "squirrel".


