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Old 11-10-2013, 08:32 AM   #1
SwirlsGirl
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You own a pizza shop and are frustrated with low pizza sales, you decide to replace your cashier....

After 8 years of lack luster pizza sales you replace your most trusted cashier, with another cashier only this time your new cashier does not have a criminal back ground and is highly recommended to do a good job counting your pizza sales.

Well within the first month of your new cashier being on the register you notice your new pizza sales have almost tripled!

Not only are the pizza sales 3 times better, but you are now selling pizza slices, and delicious pizza pies every single day as opposed to only making pizza sales 3-4 days a week.

Do you suck the cock of the new cashier to thank him for doing a better job at counting?

Do you go to the pizza industry forum and message board and say who turned off the pizza scrub?

Do you begin to question the integrity of the last cashier because your sales have went vertical over night without any new pizza customers and without any new ingredients.

Same old pizza you been selling for years, same old location, same old marketing of that good ass pizza.

But now you have triple sales and all you did was remove your old cashier.

So you feel like a moron, because you now realize that there is a correlation to business growth and the integrity of your cashier.

What most likely will happen is you will realize that you were getting burned for years and years by your former cashier employee and to save face as you would not enjoy having to face your pizza business colleagues who tried to warn you about replacing your cashier.

Your pizza colleagues are laughing at you because you are sitting there trying to ascertain is it the zesty pizza sauce that is making me lose sales?

Is it the thin and delicate crust that the customers are not liking?

Should I change my pizza box colors to bring in more pizza sales?

Maybe I should change the brand of my pizza from Pearonies pizza to.....lets see oh *the Pizza Guy*

You try and focus on all kinds of ways to tweak your yummy pizza operation when all you had to do was replace your scummy cashier.

Then sadly you discover that your poor judgement and affinity for trusting parasites has cost you precious coin and growth.

So you walk around your pizza industry head down, because you cannot face your colleagues after they proved to you the pizza business is not dead but your cashier was being cheesy with your pizza sales.

Your cashier knew you would never suspect he was shorting your pizza sales.

You now look like the pizza industry know it all nerd who knows jack shit about doubing or tripling pizza sales.

Will that be thick or thin crust today Pizza Guy?
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Old 11-10-2013, 08:42 AM   #2
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Welcome to 15 years ago.......
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Old 11-10-2013, 08:44 AM   #3
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either your old bitch was skimming or your new cashier has a nicer rack

my buddy runs a pizza joint/few locations, hires intelligent hotties, doesn't skim on ingredient costs, seen him deliver pizza to competitors with a note saying "this is how shit's supposed to taste"
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Old 11-10-2013, 08:45 AM   #4
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New Pizza cashier is a slut with big tits?
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Old 11-10-2013, 08:47 AM   #5
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Nice post, but... what's a pizza pie...?
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Old 11-10-2013, 08:55 AM   #6
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I would like some pizza
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Old 11-10-2013, 08:56 AM   #7
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You spent how long scrawling this piece of shit? The second half of it makes absolutely no fucking sense.
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:00 AM   #8
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:01 AM   #9
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Oh a post about pizza, yum
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:01 AM   #10
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Sure however any professional pizza place owner would not judge his sales on one month of selling pizza's with a new cashier. Too many variabeles

Carry on.
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:03 AM   #11
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:09 AM   #12
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I used to deliver and this white trash piece of shit stole money from my box and I caught him. He didn't walk to work the next day..
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:10 AM   #13
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What's with the mention of a criminal background? Are you suggesting your previous third party bil...err.... pizza cashier... is involved with something?
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:14 AM   #14
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Shit i need some pizza now
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:17 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roald View Post
Sure however any professional pizza place owner would not judge his sales on one month of selling pizza's with a new cashier. Too many variabeles

Carry on.
How about 7 months after replacing old cashier still seeing strong and steady pizza sales?

1 month is not enough time, but 7 months I think is hard to still make an argument.



Maybe we should not import pepperoni from genoa italy?

Maybe we should use crumbled sausage instead of sliced sausage.

I am trying to think of everything possible to increase my pizza sales to my shitty pizza shop but I never ever in a million yeas thought to replace my cashier!

Other pizza industry colleagues told me to change my cashier a long time ago but I would hate to do what they advise because then I have to live with the fact they were right about some thing while I was wrong.

See I am a know it all jerk so I cannot take advice from others who know what they are talking about it would expose me for not knowing shit.

So I stick to asking myself if I should change the lettering font on my pizza boxes

Or should I change my pizza oven from conventional to brick over.

I mean I want to spend time, money and aggravation trying to double my sales, but I must use the same crummy cashier.

If I change my cashier and get more sales it will mean I have to come back to the pizza message board and eat crow.

I would prefer to eat cock than to eat crow because of my over sized ego and the fact that I don't need anybody telling me how to get more pizza sales when I can use gfy to ask people who are smarter than me where to find new sales?

Who turned off the fucking pizza scrub in this bitch??
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:21 AM   #16
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Interracial Cuckold pizza. Not seen that on Domino's menu?
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:25 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by SwirlsGirl View Post
How about 7 months after replacing old cashier still seeing strong and steady pizza sales?

1 month is not enough time, but 7 months I think is hard to still make an argument.
Seven months of selling two pizzas a day is still only two pizzas a day. Not enough pizza data. I have serious reservations as to whether or not this pizza shop owner is mentally capable of running a pizza shop.
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:25 AM   #18
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I'm hungry
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:29 AM   #19
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Dear Mom:

Starting to regret taking your advice on quitting the adult industry and taking that part-time pizza job.

They fucking scrub in the pizza biz, too!!!

Your Son,

Guido
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:32 AM   #20
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Seven months of selling two pizzas a day is still only two pizzas a day. Not enough pizza data. I have serious reservations as to whether or not this pizza shop owner is mentally capable of running a pizza shop.
I'm certain sure he isn't. not after his total meltdowns here and on Xbiz in the last couple of weeks. Reeks of substance abuse, alcohol abuse or just severe mental health issues. Can't see anyone, ever, trusting him with their financials...
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:33 AM   #21
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your excuses are all lame. Your ego? Just change the cashier and move on. All this other shit about sause and pizza boxes is pointless, You know the cashier was fucking you by not ringing up sales. So what is the problem?
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:49 AM   #22
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What's with the mention of a criminal background? Are you suggesting your previous third party bil...err.... pizza cashier... is involved with something?
glad u made the distinction LOL we are talking about cashiers not 3rd party billers

If you choose to deal with a 3rd party cashier, 3rd party biller, you should make sure they are not involved with crime because there is a good chance they have debts to settle and not the type you want on your cashier when you are trying to grow your pizza shop.

furthermore if you ever had a cashier in your pizza shop, collect money from a pizza customer and then tell you the pizza shop owner that no money was collected from the customer.

This would be normal and a non factor but your pizza customer comes in and shows you his undercover camera captured the transaction and showed clearly your pizza cashier collecting monies while telling you the owner a bold faced lie.

You have the chicken fucking parasitic lying ass hat cashier on video accepting and collecting money from your pizza business while telling you the pizza shop owner there was no sales collected.

That would make you want to see this cashier in a set of shiny bracelets

That would also make you speculate as to why your sales stats are off and your transactions are abnormally low
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:49 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SwirlsGirl View Post
After 8 years of lack luster pizza sales you replace your most trusted cashier, with another cashier only this time your new cashier does not have a criminal back ground and is highly recommended to do a good job counting your pizza sales.

Well within the first month of your new cashier being on the register you notice your new pizza sales have almost tripled!

Not only are the pizza sales 3 times better, but you are now selling pizza slices, and delicious pizza pies every single day as opposed to only making pizza sales 3-4 days a week.

Do you suck the cock of the new cashier to thank him for doing a better job at counting?

Do you go to the pizza industry forum and message board and say who turned off the pizza scrub?

Do you begin to question the integrity of the last cashier because your sales have went vertical over night without any new pizza customers and without any new ingredients.

Same old pizza you been selling for years, same old location, same old marketing of that good ass pizza.

But now you have triple sales and all you did was remove your old cashier.

So you feel like a moron, because you now realize that there is a correlation to business growth and the integrity of your cashier.

What most likely will happen is you will realize that you were getting burned for years and years by your former cashier employee and to save face as you would not enjoy having to face your pizza business colleagues who tried to warn you about replacing your cashier.

Your pizza colleagues are laughing at you because you are sitting there trying to ascertain is it the zesty pizza sauce that is making me lose sales?

Is it the thin and delicate crust that the customers are not liking?

Should I change my pizza box colors to bring in more pizza sales?

Maybe I should change the brand of my pizza from Pearonies pizza to.....lets see oh *the Pizza Guy*

You try and focus on all kinds of ways to tweak your yummy pizza operation when all you had to do was replace your scummy cashier.

Then sadly you discover that your poor judgement and affinity for trusting parasites has cost you precious coin and growth.

So you walk around your pizza industry head down, because you cannot face your colleagues after they proved to you the pizza business is not dead but your cashier was being cheesy with your pizza sales.

Your cashier knew you would never suspect he was shorting your pizza sales.

You now look like the pizza industry know it all nerd who knows jack shit about doubing or tripling pizza sales.

Will that be thick or thin crust today Pizza Guy?
Congratulation with your improved ratios/sales.

The improved ratios you are seeing now I always had with Epoch. Don't blame 3rd party processors but blame the ones that are doing a shitty job.

Ok so now that you trippled your sales by changing your biller... what are you going to do next? You are allready at your next ceiling! Are you now going to look for a biller that can quadruple your sales? If you depend on billers for growth you've allready lost!

So the real question here is now: what are you going to do to really grow your business?
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:50 AM   #24
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your excuses are all lame. Your ego? Just change the cashier and move on. All this other shit about sause and pizza boxes is pointless, You know the cashier was fucking you by not ringing up sales. So what is the problem?
shhhhhhh ......... he's trying to be clever, let him be, it's entertaining.

Yeah, so could you go back over the part about how the pizza colleagues were warning you not to change the cashier and then when you did you didn't want to tell them because you were ashamed because you were all caught up in the zesty sauce fiasco and changing the color of the boxes? That was interesting, would like to hear more about it.
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Old 11-10-2013, 09:55 AM   #25
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Pizza, huh? Send it over
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:01 AM   #26
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Congratulation with your improved ratios/sales.

The improved ratios you are seeing now I always had with Epoch. Don't blame 3rd party processors but blame the ones that are doing a shitty job.

Ok so now that you trippled your sales by changing your biller... what are you going to do next? You are allready at your next ceiling! Are you now going to look for a biller that can quadruple your sales? If you depend on billers for growth you've allready lost!

So the real question here is now: what are you going to do to really grow your business?
Hello... hello... anybody in here? Hum... seems like everyone is out for pizza
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:43 AM   #27
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What I don't understand is how a new billing page increased your sales 3x. The billing is the last part of the process. That means you would have a pretty lousy join page ratio to start with... The vast majority of surfers never see you join pages.
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:50 AM   #28
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hm, reading about pizza`s right before dinner time. I guess that means a change in my dinner plans

Or just go back to work and forget all about a nice pizza, think i will do that
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:10 AM   #29
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Pepperoni
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:19 AM   #30
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you suck at pizza counting?
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Old 11-10-2013, 01:21 PM   #31
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So I guess you sucked his cock?
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Old 11-10-2013, 01:30 PM   #32
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Imagine you were prescribed medication for bi-polar disorder, borderline personality disorder and a host of other behavior disorders and you stopped taking them for 8 years.......
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Old 11-10-2013, 01:35 PM   #33
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Maybe they are dealing drugs and use the pizza as a means to deliver the drugs to the clients. I'd like some weed and a large pizza delivered!
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Old 11-10-2013, 02:07 PM   #34
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Imagine how much pizza you could sell if you didn't cry about pizzas 24/7.
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Old 11-10-2013, 07:25 PM   #35
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Welcome to 15 years ago.......
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Old 11-10-2013, 07:29 PM   #36
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This thread reignites the embers of my long held dream of starting a Pizza joint.

All natural mozzarella

High quality flour

Organic San Marzano tomato sauce

YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:01 PM   #37
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This thread reignites the embers of my long held dream of starting a Pizza joint.

All natural mozzarella

High quality flour

Organic San Marzano tomato sauce

YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
A little "ghetto" perhaps but thought you might appreciate this:

Stouffer's French Bread Pizza with real good (and I mean outstanding) olive oil drizzled over the top AND put on the baking pan so the crust is smothered in it. OMG delish.

Throw some fresh mozzarella in there and...omg I'm so hungry right now.
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:06 PM   #38
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I'm hungry... getting late too. Not good to eat right before sleep.

Pizza is always good cold as well, even reheated in microwave makes for some satisfying deliciousness.
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:09 PM   #39
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Imagine how much pizza you could sell if you didn't cry about pizzas 24/7.

Pizza is gonna pizza
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:10 PM   #40
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I'm hungry... getting late too. Not good to eat right before sleep.

Pizza is always good cold as well, even reheated in microwave makes for some satisfying deliciousness.


the roof the roof the roof is on fire!!
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:16 PM   #41
OneHungLo
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And then 6 months later you realized that new cashier was letting all her deadbeat friends with stolen credit cards and bad credit buy pizzas and then all the charge backs come rolling in. The next thing you know your merchant account is canceled and you're out of business.
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:18 PM   #42
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I'm hungry... getting late too. Not good to eat right before sleep.

Pizza is always good cold as well, even reheated in microwave makes for some satisfying deliciousness.
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:20 PM   #43
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Never even thought of that

I always just used aluminum foil to keep the freshness in while microwaving
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:31 PM   #44
whOaKemosabe
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Never even thought of that

I always just used aluminum foil to keep the freshness in while microwaving
i like eating pizza and sardeens


Last edited by whOaKemosabe; 11-10-2013 at 10:32 PM..
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:09 PM   #45
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Microwave??? Pizzas belong in an oven
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:13 PM   #46
bean-aid
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Microwave??? Pizzas belong in an oven
Even third party heating of something inherently awesome, is still satisfying.
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:42 PM   #47
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Congratulation with your improved ratios/sales.

The improved ratios you are seeing now I always had with Epoch. Don't blame 3rd party processors but blame the ones that are doing a shitty job.

Ok so now that you trippled your sales by changing your biller... what are you going to do next? You are allready at your next ceiling! Are you now going to look for a biller that can quadruple your sales? If you depend on billers for growth you've allready lost!

So the real question here is now: what are you going to do to really grow your business?
Eat more black sausage!
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Old 11-11-2013, 04:11 AM   #48
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Eat more black sausage!
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Old 11-11-2013, 04:30 AM   #49
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either your old bitch was skimming or your new cashier has a nicer rack

my buddy runs a pizza joint/few locations, hires intelligent hotties, doesn't skim on ingredient costs, seen him deliver pizza to competitors with a note saying "this is how shit's supposed to taste"

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Old 11-11-2013, 06:05 AM   #50
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Hey Swirls, pop quiz, I have a sponsor that uses their own merchant and this period I only have 5 joins out of 32 submits. Who is fucking me over in this situation?????
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