Desperately needs advice...chicks being with other chicks,is this considered cheatin? - Page 4 - GoFuckYourself.com

Kimmykim · 02-06-2003, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Joe Sixpack

Don't be so fucking pathetic.

If the man you were with was sucking cock and swallowing loads of cum from gay men all over town, I'm sure you'd probably consider that cheating.

Sometimes women make me sick to the fucking stomach.

And you know this didn't happen in my last relationship HOW? That's what I thought.

Different people have different ideas of what is cheating and what is not.

One person may consider cybersex cheating. Another may not.
One person may consider what Zoe did cheating while another not.
One person might consider it cheating if their partner slept with someone in the office but not if they slept with a hooker.

Before you start talking about who's doing what keep in mind that I can name relationships where this is acceptable to at least one partner ==

FATPad · 02-06-2003, 01:36 PM

It doesn't really matter what everyone else thinks is cheating.

Just the two people in the relationship. And if they don't talk about what is considered cheating, there's a problem.

PaulSweet · 02-06-2003, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe
Thats the thing! I now know he considers that cheating, and I havent been with a girl since, nor will i be with one while in this relationship.

Doesnt that count as anything?

It does for sure - hopefully he will forgive you and you guys can move on to enjoying the relationship.

It doesn't sound like you were trying to hide it from him so he should be able to see you weren't trying to fuck around.

Unfortunately what is cheating and what isn't is different from person to person.

Good Luck Zoe!

Cheshire · 02-06-2003, 05:00 PM

I'm not gonna read this whole thread because I'm sure this is Uber controversial, and I don't want to get upset any more today.

*IMO*
A relationship between two people should be defined by those two, and no one else.

If I have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and they feel there is a level intimacy I could share with someone outside of our relationship that would be considered straying, then the two of us must discuss these boundaries and understand them, respect them, even fine~tune them, Together.
But NO ONE else can tell us what is right FOR US in OUR relationship.

[Labret] · 02-06-2003, 05:00 PM

magnatique · 02-06-2003, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pointless
ask dr phil

Here's Dr. Phil's opinion:

WHAT A LUCKY GUY.

No, really... how badazz is it when you can checkout a girl out, and have your girlfriend do the same and comment on it...

I personally wouldn't consider it as cheating, unless it would happen every week for a year or something... but I would wish you would ask me to watch at least next time, or join in

pink_in_the_middle · 02-06-2003, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CDSmith

I also think that having cybersex with someone other than your partner is considered cheating by many. Anyone care to bat that one around? It's sexual, and it involves another person. Isn't cheating cheating? [/B]

I agree with you on this. Just because you're not actually having intercourse doesn't mean you're not cheating

pink_in_the_middle · 02-06-2003, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
I'm not gonna read this whole thread because I'm sure this is Uber controversial, and I don't want to get upset any more today.

*IMO*
A relationship between two people should be defined by those two, and no one else.

If I have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and they feel there is a level intimacy I could share with someone outside of our relationship that would be considered straying, then the two of us must discuss these boundaries and understand them, respect them, even fine~tune them, Together.
But NO ONE else can tell us what is right FOR US in OUR relationship.

Agreed.
She asked for our opinions and we gave it

But she and he will have the final decision.

Doofus · 02-07-2003, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by PaulSweet

It doesn't sound like you were trying to hide it from him so he should be able to see you weren't trying to fuck around.

Unfortunately what is cheating and what isn't is different from person to person.

Good Luck Zoe!

%100 BULLSHIT!

I've stayed off this board because I didnt want to get all in Zoe's business, but since this is ABOUT me, I thought it time to reply.

Im Zoe's boyfriend.
The part that she keeps skipping, and hasnt told ANYBODY here, which is the total fucking smoking gun here:

She Lied to me about it.

I asked her if anything happened when I picked her up from the party. I had to do a photoshoot that night, so couldnt go TO THAT party.

She told me that she had kissed a girl. No big deal. I got a tiny bit upset, but we talked it out, and I thought, well, jeez. I guess its ok. She's kissed a few girls before, when I was around, so its alright. She promised, SWORE to god, up and down, thats all that happend.

Then I saw the pics of her Eating this bitch out, and making out with her online. SHE FUCKING LIED to me about it. AND lied about a good many other things too, which I cant/wont mention here.

Another thing, ZOE IS NOT BI. She does NOT LIKE/WANT CHICKS. she does it for "sexy fun" occasionally, but she does not persue, and doesnt like BEING persued by chicks. She acts like she is Bi, and tells people here she is Bi, because its good for her porn-webmistress career. There are also things she lies about for her job otherwise, but thats for Cyberpunk & Sykkboy to find out from her.

We' HAD DISCUSSED THIS. Another lie. I told her it would be ok, if I could be in on it, if she asked, if I even just got to watch. I've done 3 way's before. Im down with it. I totally would have LET her kiss that chick, if I were there. I would NOT have wanted her to eat the dumb bitch out though. WTF? STD's? Hello? duh? thats fucking inconsiderate TO me as well! christ! She could KILL ME by doing that. Especially by doing it with a fucked up, cracked out porn chick, like Britney.

Long story short, our relationship is holding on by a thread, and it seems only recently she realizes she made a mistake. I love Zoe, because she is a cute, VERY smart, GREAT chick otherwise. We share TONS of common interest. But she is also a total liar.

So, Im > < THIS close to just saying "fuck it" and moving on.

Now, also, Im upset that she went and smeared our personal business all over her porn industry web-board. So, she might have just put the last nail in the coffin herself.

Im SO glad I checked this board tonight, so now I've got some more resolve for this messy fucked up situation.

B]Give me a show of hands here. Dump her or Keep her? Im a pretty handsome guy, who is damn smart, and I've got a very respectable cool job. I could get another girl TOMORROW, but thats not what I want. I thought I wanted Zoe. Now its looking more and more, like I should get rid of her.[/B]

Hot Tropical Babes · 02-07-2003, 01:41 AM

If its not discussed in the bylaws of the relationship then YES its cheating!

Hot Tropical Babes · 02-07-2003, 01:43 AM

Lying is a whole different thing! I dont put up with being lied to!
PERIOD

little-me · 02-07-2003, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doofus

Give me a show of hands here. Dump her or Keep her? Im a pretty handsome guy, who is damn smart, and I've got a very respectable cool job. I could get another girl TOMORROW, but thats not what I want. I thought I wanted Zoe. Now its looking more and more, like I should get rid of her.

If you can't trust her...send her that way ------>

Just my

bhutocracy · 02-07-2003, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Then I saw the pics of her Eating this bitch out, and making out with her online.

link? we're big on hard evidence around here.

Theo · 02-07-2003, 02:03 AM

its fuckign cheatrtgingggggggggggg

bhutocracy · 02-07-2003, 02:09 AM

If you need to ask for a show of hands from a bunch of porn geeks you don't know, then I think you know where the relationship is headed... still.. sure it's cheating plain as fucking day, but everyone deserves a chance..

Ironhorse · 02-07-2003, 02:10 AM

Yes..evidence, we need more evidence.

But seriously sounds too me Doofus that if all you care about is STDs and you are down with threesomes and the bi-stuff and you dig Zoe as you say you do from where I stand she owes you an apology and you guys can probably talk this out, maybe give it a shot?

Hurricane · 02-07-2003, 02:21 AM

I cant see this as cheating..
My girlfriend likes girls 2, and sometimes she do it alone with the girl, and some times I join. I think this is a great way to have some fun in a relationship!

Keep it up girl.. Your guy must be stupid!

Cheers
Hurricane

D-man · 02-07-2003, 02:25 AM

First I think the boyfriend should post these pictures he says he saw and let us be the judge

It may be cheating - it may also be that someone may be afraid she will leave him for a woman - sounds like you don't trust her

Two chicks getting it on is hot - I have done a 3 some with my lady and I am fine with it - I am not so self absorbed that I think she's going to leave me for a woman - We love each other and at the end of the day she goes home with me -

Asking a bunch of porn peddlers for advice, bad idea - In defence of the guy involved - my lady and I have rules - we agree to play only while the other is present -

Who cares if it's cheating - could be you need to decide if you love each other or not - much better question

Doofus · 02-07-2003, 02:30 AM

Heh, Im trying to find somebody who still has the REAL incriminating pix online.

Vid_Vicious had the hardcore pics online, but she made him take them down, because she was trying to hide them from me. She was just a little late though, because I'd already seen them.

I've given her a month, and we've had some good days, and bad days during that month.
I cant say she's done anything SUPREMELY awesome enough to change my mind.
She does do some great stuff for/to/with me though.

She is a tough girl to give up. But, this is a tough situation.

Everybody says:

If they lie to you, they will again.

If they cheat on you, and you take them back, they WILL cheat again.
And I believe this. I find it to be true, from my own experience, and common sense.

So, Im more or less just thinking that this is the BEGINNING of a trend with her. Even if its not, I just shouldnt put up with cheating, and lying ON PRINCIPLE. Any other dumb bitch woulda been tossed on her ear the moment I found out, but Zoe WAS special. I REALLY liked her.

I dont "need" a show of hands. Since she asked everybody to comment, I felt that it was only fair if I did the same. Perhaps, then she could see how many people agree with me, although it seems the majority of you here agree already.

As soon as I find those pics online, I'll link em.

Vivaldi · 02-07-2003, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by magnatique

Here's Dr. Phil's opinion:

WHAT A LUCKY GUY.

Wow, dude, that's cool, at least if she doesn't abandon you.
Two chicks - this rocks.
Anyway it's better than if she cheats you with a guy. Isn't it?

Doofus · 02-07-2003, 02:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hurricane
I cant see this as cheating..
My girlfriend likes girls 2, and sometimes she do it alone with the girl, and some times I join. I think this is a great way to have some fun in a relationship!

Keep it up girl.. Your guy must be stupid!

Cheers
Hurricane

Sounds like your the moron, because she lied, and hid it, and didnt ask/tell/invite.

Besides, its not like I havent had 2 chicks before myself, ok?
Im not "insecure about her leaving me for a girl" because she's not bi, or lesbian. She wouldnt date a girl. Unless of course, she lied about all that too....

sexXx2c · 02-07-2003, 02:37 AM

Yep, cheatin'.... but what you gonna do... you like to fuck other people.... not much you can do about that.

D-man · 02-07-2003, 02:41 AM

well then doofus only one thing to do - shoot as much lesbian content as you can while you find a new chick -

Zoe - post a picture my fiance says she will do you if your hot!

Pornkings · 02-07-2003, 02:56 AM

the way I see it.. your not buried until your married

so until then everything goes.

Doofus · 02-07-2003, 02:57 AM

D-man:

I dont shoot THAT kind of photos. At least, not yet. Anybody need a shooter in vegas to shoot content?

Also, I dig the two chicks thing. Its not my favorite, and it honestly gets kinda old fast, but its damn cool!

Dont get me wrong. Like I said, if she had asked me? or wanted a 3 way? I'd have been cool. Its the lying and hiding, etc that bugs me.

Vivaldi:

"Wow, dude, that's cool, at least if she doesn't abandon you. "
She, abandon me? HA! if anything its the other way around pal...

http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas72.html

http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas68.html

http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas65.html

http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas79.html

She had the hardcore pics removed. But does this look like it "happened so fast"? If it happend "so fast" how the fuck did she have time to POSE FOR 2 fucking pictures?

Pornkings · 02-07-2003, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kimmykim

And you know this didn't happen in my last relationship HOW? That's what I thought.

Different people have different ideas of what is cheating and what is not.

One person may consider cybersex cheating. Another may not.
One person may consider what Zoe did cheating while another not.
One person might consider it cheating if their partner slept with someone in the office but not if they slept with a hooker.

Before you start talking about who's doing what keep in mind that I can name relationships where this is acceptable to at least one partner ==

Its just one big gray area if she didn't think he would get upset she would have told him.
but I think its worse when you hear something from an outsider

Pornkings · 02-07-2003, 03:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doofus
D-man:

I dont shoot THAT kind of photos. At least, not yet. Anybody need a shooter in vegas to shoot content?

Also, I dig the two chicks thing. Its not my favorite, and it honestly gets kinda old fast, but its damn cool!

Dont get me wrong. Like I said, if she had asked me? or wanted a 3 way? I'd have been cool. Its the lying and hiding, etc that bugs me.

Vivaldi:

"Wow, dude, that's cool, at least if she doesn't abandon you. "
She, abandon me? HA! if anything its the other way around pal...

http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas72.html

http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas68.html

http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas65.html

http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas79.html

She had the hardcore pics removed. But does this look like it "happened so fast"? If it happend "so fast" how the fuck did she have time to POSE FOR 2 fucking pictures?

Are you Zoe's guy?

Doofus · 02-07-2003, 03:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pornkings

Are you Zoe's guy?

Yes. Read my posts please.

CDSmith · 02-07-2003, 03:08 AM

Cheating AND lying? Not a good basis for a future I'd say. Sorry to Zoe, but I have to say this also.... I get the feeling while reading through her posts here that she remains unconvinced that she did anything wrong. Her only remorse seems to be out of fear of losing her Dufus guy here. That to me sends up a huge red flag right there.... when your significant other can't even grasp the fact of why something she did is wrong.

Sort of reminds me of the girlfriend I had when I was 20. Almost married her too, but BOY could she lie, and try to cover up shit, man she was a terror. How old are you guys? (Dufus and Zoe)

Pornkings · 02-07-2003, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doofus

Yes. Read my posts please.

The way I see it if she did something and didn't tell you and you found out from another source thats worse then the cheating itself.

but if you knew she liked girls when you guys were dating then, you should just have figured it would happen

Pornkings · 02-07-2003, 03:12 AM

Pornkings · 02-07-2003, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
I'm not gonna read this whole thread because I'm sure this is Uber controversial, and I don't want to get upset any more today.

*IMO*
A relationship between two people should be defined by those two, and no one else.

If I have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and they feel there is a level intimacy I could share with someone outside of our relationship that would be considered straying, then the two of us must discuss these boundaries and understand them, respect them, even fine~tune them, Together.
But NO ONE else can tell us what is right FOR US in OUR relationship.

Damn girl this is why I luv yaaa.

Were still on for march right???

Pornkings · 02-07-2003, 03:34 AM

I finally read your post.

In all honesty If someone is going to lie to god all up and down they will lie again.

Zoe's sounds like a kewl chick but she doesn't sound like she's ready to really commit. she's young and likes the attention, its not bad its actually very normal.

But it's up to you if you can get over it and forgive her.
and if you do forgive her you can never throw it in her face again.

All I know is I don't forgive that easy and I never forget.

But I also know when your in love with someone you over look certain things.

Sometimes you can't follow your heart you need to think with your mind.

Kimmykim · 02-07-2003, 03:43 AM

Still goes back to the fact that there are always at least 3 sides to every story.

Perhaps Zoe likes drama, and knew this would create some? Is she getting enough attention (from her perspective) at home?

And what's a non porn guy doing reading a porn peddler messageboard where he knows his girlfriend hangs out unless he's trying to find her up to something?

Pornkings · 02-07-2003, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kimmykim
Still goes back to the fact that there are always at least 3 sides to every story.

Perhaps Zoe likes drama, and knew this would create some? Is she getting enough attention (from her perspective) at home?

And what's a non porn guy doing reading a porn peddler messageboard where he knows his girlfriend hangs out unless he's trying to find her up to something?

this is some good (As GFY turns)

almost as good as your's Kimmy KIM sounds like we both been there

in some shape or form

bikinihouse · 02-07-2003, 03:52 AM

dude this is fucking disgusting. whatever happened to straight sex??

i have a dick for a pussy, my girl has a pussy for my dick. what the FUCK is there talk about a dick and dick for? that just fucking makes me hurl.

Carrie · 02-07-2003, 03:54 AM

I remember seeing the pics - the thread titles was something like "webmistress goes hardcore" or something like that.

Dufus, if you knew beforehand that she allegedly does all of this lying to other people such as Sykkboy and Cyberpunk, then why didn't that set off a red flag in your head? What makes you think that if she lies to them, she won't lie to you?

AND if you knew that she throws around the fake "bi" stuff for popularity's sake, why didn't you talk about this beforehand? Such as "hey hon what if you're at a party and someone calls you out on the bi stuff - what will you do?"

I'm not saying what she did was wrong or right - lying about it was of course wrong if she did that. But it's up to you two to determine what is "over the line" in your relationship and what you consider "wrong".
What I *am* saying is that you KNOW she is like this from the get-go; lying to other people and putting on a "bi" front she may have to back up one day which you wouldn't have been comfortable with... and you still stayed with her.
So you made your own bed, no use in getting pissed about it now. If you didn't take the time to talk about it beforehand and make it clear to her what *you* considered to be boundaries in the relationship, then there is NO use getting pissed when she crosses a boundary she didn't know was there.

Since getting into this biz and seeing what goes on at these parties, hubby and I have taken the time to talk about what is and isn't "okay" and where our boundaries are.
If you don't communicate, you've got no one to blame but YOURSELF.

CDSmith · 02-07-2003, 03:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kimmykim
And what's a non porn guy doing reading a porn peddler messageboard where he knows his girlfriend hangs out unless he's trying to find her up to something?

He mentioned something about him having to do a photoshoot on the night of the party in question...... I took it to mean he IS a porn guy. Where did you read where he wasn't a porn guy?

(aren't all guys porn guys?)

02-07-2003, 04:00 AM

Ok...

This is a relationship. Relationships need to be honest if they are to be takes serious. The fact that this was hidden is pretty shitty. Also, how the hell could something as important as messing around with other girls not have been discussed? It seems like a bi-sexual girl would ask her boyfriend before things get too serious if he minds her going down on other chicks. My girlfriend knows that if she were ever interested in experimenting with another girl, she'd need to talk it over with me and we'd take it from there.

No offense Zoe, but that girl you went down on looks like a sewer rat. If I were your man, I'd be damn scared of contracting something that she may have passed on to you.

Now here's the question....What can a woman offer you that a man can't? Both have tongues, a man has something extra to stick in you pussy, and a man is biologically meant to pelase you better than a female. If there's something a girl knows how to do better, why not tell your man what you like, and how he can spice things up himself? That would solve the issue if you really wanted it solved...I think you may just like the attention that being bi brings you in large crowds of testostorone driven males!

Pornkings · 02-07-2003, 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe

As I was trying to say, no we didnt discuss it before, and yes I am willing to give up chicks while being with him. Its not the problem of me still wanting to be with chicks, i just want him to understand that i didnt consider that cheating at that time. Since I know now its cheating it wont happen again.

Trust me she doesn't just act bi she is.

She said her past boyfriends didn't mind and here she is saying she would give up the pussy for you.

Sounds like you guys need to communicate more. or just have fun together.

Personally I don't trust women so I expect them all to cheat or lie
this way it doesn't hurt as much. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high.
and those are people who took vows not counting relationships

You don't lose your girl just your turn

CDSmith · 02-07-2003, 04:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Carrie
I remember seeing the pics - the thread titles was something like "webmistress goes hardcore" or something like that.

Dufus, if you knew beforehand that she allegedly does all of this lying to other people such as Sykkboy and Cyberpunk, then why didn't that set off a red flag in your head? What makes you think that if she lies to them, she won't lie to you?

AND if you knew that she throws around the fake "bi" stuff for popularity's sake, why didn't you talk about this beforehand? Such as "hey hon what if you're at a party and someone calls you out on the bi stuff - what will you do?"

I'm not saying what she did was wrong or right - lying about it was of course wrong if she did that. But it's up to you two to determine what is "over the line" in your relationship and what you consider "wrong".
What I *am* saying is that you KNOW she is like this from the get-go; lying to other people and putting on a "bi" front she may have to back up one day which you wouldn't have been comfortable with... and you still stayed with her.
So you made your own bed, no use in getting pissed about it now. If you didn't take the time to talk about it beforehand and make it clear to her what *you* considered to be boundaries in the relationship, then there is NO use getting pissed when she crosses a boundary she didn't know was there.

Since getting into this biz and seeing what goes on at these parties, hubby and I have taken the time to talk about what is and isn't "okay" and where our boundaries are.
If you don't communicate, you've got no one to blame but YOURSELF.

Yes Doofus, it's all your fault. When your girlfriend cheats on you and then lies about it, it's always the guy's fault no matter what. You should ask her for her forgiveness Doofus, learn from your mistakes you've made here, and never speak of this again.

Right. Good one Carrie.

Carrie · 02-07-2003, 05:23 AM

LOL CDSmith - He considers it cheating, she doesn't.
They didn't talk about it beforehand so they didn't establish what "cheating" was/wasn't in each other's minds.

I'm not saying it's *all* his fault - but he's pointing fingers and such; he needs to take responsibility for his own part of it (not communicating up front before something happened).

It's all fucked up anyway. She claims to have been with girls beforehand, yet this was never brought up with him and discussed.
He claims that she's not bi and it's just a publicity stunt.
He claims she's a regular liar.
She brings it to the board rather than talking about it with him.

Either way, these two need to either talk it out now and get it settled, or make plans to hook up again in 5 years when they've matured a bit. ;)

CDSmith · 02-07-2003, 05:29 AM

Okay THAT much I'll agree on.

I can see where he'd be pissed though. Maybe SHE should have talked to HIM about her *preferences* before doing the public muff-dive, no? Just a thought.

Being lied to sucks no matter which way you cut it.

As for cheating... if one partner considers something cheating, then it's cheating. Period.
Again though, as you pointed out...no communication.

Socks · 02-07-2003, 06:00 AM

hahahah.. uhhhh, if I fuck my girlfriend up the ass before marriage, is that considered sex? Will God care?

Doofus · 02-07-2003, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Carrie
I remember seeing the pics - the thread titles was something like "webmistress goes hardcore" or something like that.

Quote:

Dufus, if you knew beforehand that she allegedly does all of this lying to other people such as Sykkboy and Cyberpunk, then why didn't that set off a red flag in your head? What makes you think that if she lies to them, she won't lie to you?
[/B]

The shit she lied about was to her family, about what she does for a job, and where she goes when she goes out (with me). She still lives at home, so cant reveal any of her life. Thats the only lies I knew about, and those are understandable. Now, I've found out about a bunch of other stuff, so its not like I knew beforehand.

Quote:

AND if you knew that she throws around the fake "bi" stuff for popularity's sake, why didn't you talk about this beforehand? Such as "hey hon what if you're at a party and someone calls you out on the bi stuff - what will you do?"
[/B]

We DID talk about it, she ISNT bi, and cheating IS cheating. So, your wrong on EVERY count. Get your facts straight.

Quote:

I'm not saying what she did was wrong or right - lying about it was of course wrong if she did that. But it's up to you two to determine what is "over the line" in your relationship and what you consider "wrong".
[/B]

Of course its wrong, NOT just the lying. Im sick of this flexible morality. blech

Quote:

What I *am* saying is that you KNOW she is like this from the get-go; lying to other people and putting on a "bi" front she may have to back up one day which you wouldn't have been comfortable with... and you still stayed with her.
[/B]

I shouldnt have to ask my girlfriend, "hey, since you've messed around with a few girls in your past, um, hey! what happens if your at a porn party, and somebody wants you to just go at it and dyke out with a pornstar. what happens?"
Because she and I HAD discussed it.

Zoe: "Can I see other people? I dont want you to see others... I dont want to but I wanna know what our relationship is"

Doofus:" No way, I wont do it, you wont do it. No guys, no girls"

Zoe:"OK, good, thats the way I want it too sweetie!"

Quote:

So you made your own bed, no use in getting pissed about it now. If you didn't take the time to talk about it beforehand and make it clear to her what *you* considered to be boundaries in the relationship, then there is NO use getting pissed when she crosses a boundary she didn't know was there.
If you don't communicate, you've got no one to blame but YOURSELF. [/B]

She lied to all of you about that. We DID talk about it.

That is the stupiest fucking post on this thread so far.

Doofus · 02-07-2003, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by shermsshack
That would solve the issue if you really wanted it solved...I think you may just like the attention that being bi brings you in large crowds of testostorone driven males!

You hit the nail on the head with that one.
She is a self described "Attention Whore"

Now she is one LITERALLY. Ha!

Captain Evil · 02-07-2003, 10:01 AM

Dude, you clearly have made up your mind already. Only thing left to do is go through with it.

Doofus · 02-07-2003, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Carrie
LOL CDSmith - He considers it cheating, she doesn't.
They didn't talk about it beforehand so they didn't establish what "cheating" was/wasn't in each other's minds.

I'm not saying it's *all* his fault - but he's pointing fingers and such; he needs to take responsibility for his own part of it (not communicating up front before something happened).

It's all fucked up anyway. She claims to have been with girls beforehand, yet this was never brought up with him and discussed.
He claims that she's not bi and it's just a publicity stunt.
He claims she's a regular liar.
She brings it to the board rather than talking about it with him.

Either way, these two need to either talk it out now and get it settled, or make plans to hook up again in 5 years when they've matured a bit. ;)

Your critical error here is you assume that we DIDNT talk about it. WE did.
She claims we did not, but thats a case of convenient memory lapse.

FATPad · 02-07-2003, 10:05 AM

If she did lie to you, why do you need anyone's approval to dump her?

People who lie, of either sex, never change. They will lie about anything to anyone and they will never stop.

02-06-2003, 12:29 PM	#151
cyberpunk Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 1,377	150 __________________ POST NO ADS!

02-06-2003, 01:36 PM	#153
FATPad Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 6,693	It doesn't really matter what everyone else thinks is cheating. Just the two people in the relationship. And if they don't talk about what is considered cheating, there's a problem. __________________ <a href="http://www.adultcontent.co.uk">Adult Content UK - Great British Content</a>

02-06-2003, 05:00 PM	#155
Cheshire Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Rosen-Villin Posts: 5,738	I'm not gonna read this whole thread because I'm sure this is Uber controversial, and I don't want to get upset any more today. IMO A relationship between two people should be defined by those two, and no one else. If I have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and they feel there is a level intimacy I could share with someone outside of our relationship that would be considered straying, then the two of us must discuss these boundaries and understand them, respect them, even fine~tune them, Together. But NO ONE else can tell us what is right FOR US in OUR relationship. __________________ just a little bit naughty

02-07-2003, 01:41 AM	#161
Hot Tropical Babes Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Orlando FL Posts: 3,014	If its not discussed in the bylaws of the relationship then YES its cheating! __________________ <BR> Trade with Big Tits TGP Trade with Titman

02-07-2003, 01:43 AM	#162
Hot Tropical Babes Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Orlando FL Posts: 3,014	Lying is a whole different thing! I dont put up with being lied to! PERIOD __________________ <BR> Trade with Big Tits TGP Trade with Titman

02-06-2003, 05:00 PM	#156
[Labret] Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг Posts: 10,945	...

02-07-2003, 02:03 AM	#165
Theo HAL 9000 Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 34,515	its fuckign cheatrtgingggggggggggg

02-07-2003, 02:09 AM	#166
bhutocracy Not making A Comeback Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 10,218	If you need to ask for a show of hands from a bunch of porn geeks you don't know, then I think you know where the relationship is headed... still.. sure it's cheating plain as fucking day, but everyone deserves a chance..

02-07-2003, 02:10 AM	#167
Ironhorse Pixel Pusher Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 7,093	Yes..evidence, we need more evidence. But seriously sounds too me Doofus that if all you care about is STDs and you are down with threesomes and the bi-stuff and you dig Zoe as you say you do from where I stand she owes you an apology and you guys can probably talk this out, maybe give it a shot? __________________ [email protected]

02-07-2003, 02:21 AM	#168
Hurricane Registered User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Mount Everest Posts: 48	I cant see this as cheating.. My girlfriend likes girls 2, and sometimes she do it alone with the girl, and some times I join. I think this is a great way to have some fun in a relationship! Keep it up girl.. Your guy must be stupid! Cheers Hurricane __________________ Just another fucked up webmaster that need a job.. Anyone?

02-07-2003, 02:25 AM	#169
D-man Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Respect the join date noob! Posts: 1,291	First I think the boyfriend should post these pictures he says he saw and let us be the judge It may be cheating - it may also be that someone may be afraid she will leave him for a woman - sounds like you don't trust her Two chicks getting it on is hot - I have done a 3 some with my lady and I am fine with it - I am not so self absorbed that I think she's going to leave me for a woman - We love each other and at the end of the day she goes home with me - Asking a bunch of porn peddlers for advice, bad idea - In defence of the guy involved - my lady and I have rules - we agree to play only while the other is present - Who cares if it's cheating - could be you need to decide if you love each other or not - much better question

02-07-2003, 02:30 AM	#170
Doofus Registered User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Vegas Baby Posts: 11	Heh, Im trying to find somebody who still has the REAL incriminating pix online. Vid_Vicious had the hardcore pics online, but she made him take them down, because she was trying to hide them from me. She was just a little late though, because I'd already seen them. I've given her a month, and we've had some good days, and bad days during that month. I cant say she's done anything SUPREMELY awesome enough to change my mind. She does do some great stuff for/to/with me though. She is a tough girl to give up. But, this is a tough situation. Everybody says: If they lie to you, they will again. If they cheat on you, and you take them back, they WILL cheat again. And I believe this. I find it to be true, from my own experience, and common sense. So, Im more or less just thinking that this is the BEGINNING of a trend with her. Even if its not, I just shouldnt put up with cheating, and lying ON PRINCIPLE. Any other dumb bitch woulda been tossed on her ear the moment I found out, but Zoe WAS special. I REALLY liked her. I dont "need" a show of hands. Since she asked everybody to comment, I felt that it was only fair if I did the same. Perhaps, then she could see how many people agree with me, although it seems the majority of you here agree already. As soon as I find those pics online, I'll link em.

02-07-2003, 02:37 AM	#173
sexXx2c Registered User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: las vegas Posts: 42	Yep, cheatin'.... but what you gonna do... you like to fuck other people.... not much you can do about that. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

02-07-2003, 02:41 AM	#174
D-man Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Respect the join date noob! Posts: 1,291	well then doofus only one thing to do - shoot as much lesbian content as you can while you find a new chick - Zoe - post a picture my fiance says she will do you if your hot!

02-07-2003, 02:56 AM	#175
Pornkings Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Roger V Posts: 5,334	the way I see it.. your not buried until your married so until then everything goes. __________________ Pornkings.com

02-07-2003, 02:57 AM	#176
Doofus Registered User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Vegas Baby Posts: 11	D-man: I dont shoot THAT kind of photos. At least, not yet. Anybody need a shooter in vegas to shoot content? Also, I dig the two chicks thing. Its not my favorite, and it honestly gets kinda old fast, but its damn cool! Dont get me wrong. Like I said, if she had asked me? or wanted a 3 way? I'd have been cool. Its the lying and hiding, etc that bugs me. Vivaldi: "Wow, dude, that's cool, at least if she doesn't abandon you. " She, abandon me? HA! if anything its the other way around pal... http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas72.html http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas68.html http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas65.html http://www.paysitehosting.com/two/pages/2vegas79.html She had the hardcore pics removed. But does this look like it "happened so fast"? If it happend "so fast" how the fuck did she have time to POSE FOR 2 fucking pictures?

02-07-2003, 03:08 AM	#180
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Cheating AND lying? Not a good basis for a future I'd say. Sorry to Zoe, but I have to say this also.... I get the feeling while reading through her posts here that she remains unconvinced that she did anything wrong. Her only remorse seems to be out of fear of losing her Dufus guy here. That to me sends up a huge red flag right there.... when your significant other can't even grasp the fact of why something she did is wrong. Sort of reminds me of the girlfriend I had when I was 20. Almost married her too, but BOY could she lie, and try to cover up shit, man she was a terror. How old are you guys? (Dufus and Zoe) __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

02-07-2003, 03:12 AM	#182
Pornkings Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Roger V Posts: 5,334	edit __________________ Pornkings.com Last edited by Pornkings; 02-07-2003 at 03:35 AM..

02-07-2003, 03:34 AM	#184
Pornkings Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Roger V Posts: 5,334	I finally read your post. In all honesty If someone is going to lie to god all up and down they will lie again. Zoe's sounds like a kewl chick but she doesn't sound like she's ready to really commit. she's young and likes the attention, its not bad its actually very normal. But it's up to you if you can get over it and forgive her. and if you do forgive her you can never throw it in her face again. All I know is I don't forgive that easy and I never forget. But I also know when your in love with someone you over look certain things. Sometimes you can't follow your heart you need to think with your mind. __________________ Pornkings.com Last edited by Pornkings; 02-07-2003 at 03:36 AM..

02-07-2003, 03:43 AM	#185
Kimmykim bitchslapping zebras!!!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: In a shack by the beach Posts: 16,015	Still goes back to the fact that there are always at least 3 sides to every story. Perhaps Zoe likes drama, and knew this would create some? Is she getting enough attention (from her perspective) at home? And what's a non porn guy doing reading a porn peddler messageboard where he knows his girlfriend hangs out unless he's trying to find her up to something?

02-07-2003, 03:52 AM	#187
bikinihouse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 843	dude this is fucking disgusting. whatever happened to straight sex?? i have a dick for a pussy, my girl has a pussy for my dick. what the FUCK is there talk about a dick and dick for? that just fucking makes me hurl.

02-07-2003, 03:54 AM	#188
Carrie Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Virgin - nee Posts: 3,162	I remember seeing the pics - the thread titles was something like "webmistress goes hardcore" or something like that. Dufus, if you knew beforehand that she allegedly does all of this lying to other people such as Sykkboy and Cyberpunk, then why didn't that set off a red flag in your head? What makes you think that if she lies to them, she won't lie to you? AND if you knew that she throws around the fake "bi" stuff for popularity's sake, why didn't you talk about this beforehand? Such as "hey hon what if you're at a party and someone calls you out on the bi stuff - what will you do?" I'm not saying what she did was wrong or right - lying about it was of course wrong if she did that. But it's up to you two to determine what is "over the line" in your relationship and what you consider "wrong". What I am saying is that you KNOW she is like this from the get-go; lying to other people and putting on a "bi" front she may have to back up one day which you wouldn't have been comfortable with... and you still stayed with her. So you made your own bed, no use in getting pissed about it now. If you didn't take the time to talk about it beforehand and make it clear to her what you considered to be boundaries in the relationship, then there is NO use getting pissed when she crosses a boundary she didn't know was there. Since getting into this biz and seeing what goes on at these parties, hubby and I have taken the time to talk about what is and isn't "okay" and where our boundaries are. If you don't communicate, you've got no one to blame but YOURSELF.

02-07-2003, 04:00 AM	#190
shermo Guest Posts: n/a	Ok... This is a relationship. Relationships need to be honest if they are to be takes serious. The fact that this was hidden is pretty shitty. Also, how the hell could something as important as messing around with other girls not have been discussed? It seems like a bi-sexual girl would ask her boyfriend before things get too serious if he minds her going down on other chicks. My girlfriend knows that if she were ever interested in experimenting with another girl, she'd need to talk it over with me and we'd take it from there. No offense Zoe, but that girl you went down on looks like a sewer rat. If I were your man, I'd be damn scared of contracting something that she may have passed on to you. Now here's the question....What can a woman offer you that a man can't? Both have tongues, a man has something extra to stick in you pussy, and a man is biologically meant to pelase you better than a female. If there's something a girl knows how to do better, why not tell your man what you like, and how he can spice things up himself? That would solve the issue if you really wanted it solved...I think you may just like the attention that being bi brings you in large crowds of testostorone driven males!

02-07-2003, 05:23 AM	#193
Carrie Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Virgin - nee Posts: 3,162	LOL CDSmith - He considers it cheating, she doesn't. They didn't talk about it beforehand so they didn't establish what "cheating" was/wasn't in each other's minds. I'm not saying it's all his fault - but he's pointing fingers and such; he needs to take responsibility for his own part of it (not communicating up front before something happened). It's all fucked up anyway. She claims to have been with girls beforehand, yet this was never brought up with him and discussed. He claims that she's not bi and it's just a publicity stunt. He claims she's a regular liar. She brings it to the board rather than talking about it with him. Either way, these two need to either talk it out now and get it settled, or make plans to hook up again in 5 years when they've matured a bit. ;)

02-07-2003, 05:29 AM	#194
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Okay THAT much I'll agree on. I can see where he'd be pissed though. Maybe SHE should have talked to HIM about her preferences before doing the public muff-dive, no? Just a thought. Being lied to sucks no matter which way you cut it. As for cheating... if one partner considers something cheating, then it's cheating. Period. Again though, as you pointed out...no communication. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

02-07-2003, 06:00 AM	#195
Socks Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Toronto Posts: 8,475	hahahah.. uhhhh, if I fuck my girlfriend up the ass before marriage, is that considered sex? Will God care?

02-07-2003, 10:01 AM	#198
Captain Evil Registered User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 164	Dude, you clearly have made up your mind already. Only thing left to do is go through with it.

02-07-2003, 10:05 AM	#200
FATPad Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 6,693	If she did lie to you, why do you need anyone's approval to dump her? People who lie, of either sex, never change. They will lie about anything to anyone and they will never stop. __________________ <a href="http://www.adultcontent.co.uk">Adult Content UK - Great British Content</a>