Desperately needs advice...chicks being with other chicks,is this considered cheatin? - Page 3 - GoFuckYourself.com

eroswebmaster · 02-05-2003, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe

They were the ones who brought it up

LOL

OH YEAH...100 BEYOTCHES!

pink_in_the_middle · 02-05-2003, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by chodadog

If doing your job is being a possesive asshole, then yeah, you'd be doing your job. Did the thought ever cross your mind, that he <i>did</i> trust her to go to such a party on her own, and thats's why he's so pissed off?

Brains ,thank you

PeekHoles · 02-05-2003, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by chodadog

If doing your job is being a possesive asshole, then yeah, you'd be doing your job. Did the thought ever cross your mind, that he <i>did</i> trust her to go to such a party on her own, and thats's why he's so pissed off?

Im not possesive but must people know what happens at these parties anything can happen... And well it did

pink_in_the_middle · 02-05-2003, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe

They were the ones who brought it up

And you NEVER thought about bringing it up with him?
BTW how long have you been with him?

eroswebmaster · 02-05-2003, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Forplaz

Im not possesive but must people know what happens at these parties anything can happen... And well it did

Yeah I know...crazy shit happened to me...I got fishooked by Dugmor...just wish they'd post the proof.

pink_in_the_middle · 02-05-2003, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Forplaz

Im not possesive but must people know what happens at these parties anything can happen... And well it did

No no sweety anything doesn't just happen. People make things happen. Simple as that.

Shit just doesn't HAPPEN.
When you care for someone why would you even want to share yourself with another?

PeekHoles · 02-05-2003, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

Are you of legal age to even post here sweety?

I think it's called TRUST. Just because she goes somewhere with naked ppl doesn't mean her bf has to tag along. He trusted her and she broke that trust.
I think you have it all wrong. SHE MESSED UP WHICH MEANS SHE'S NOT DOING HER JOB not the other way around.
This is her issue.

Pink I see your point but hell webmaster parties are wild with alot of wild sex... And yes Im 26

cold_ice · 02-05-2003, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe
I really love this guy and dont want it to end on such a silly mishap

Yes its cheating and the first thing you need to do is stop acting like its nothing. Being commited to one person is just that. One person and thats it. You sux and he has every right to leave your ass. Would you mind if he was sucking someones dick?

Bottom line is your a fucking cheater and deserve being alone. Kudos to him for wanting to leave you. You just ruin somebody's life over your silly mishap.

eroswebmaster · 02-05-2003, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Forplaz

Pink I see your point but hell webmaster parties are wild with alot of wild sex... And yes Im 26

LOL funny.

All I saw was a bunch of geeks with their digicams filming some hooker paid to put on a sex show.

pink_in_the_middle · 02-05-2003, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

No no sweety anything doesn't just happen. People make things happen. Simple as that.

Shit just doesn't HAPPEN.
When you care for someone why would you even want to share yourself with another?

If I was there and some girl/guy started giving me a lap dance or touching me and I didn't want it I would tell them to back off.
If I wanted something to happen and I had a bf/gf then I would have to deal with the consequences.

Zoe_Zoebaboe · 02-05-2003, 10:58 PM

Ok, i cant take this, im going over to his place to try and mend this.

Thanks for all the imput guys.

Grr.

pink_in_the_middle · 02-05-2003, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Forplaz

Pink I see your point but hell webmaster parties are wild with alot of wild sex... And yes Im 26

Yes I'm sure they are very wild but that doesn't mean let lose and pull down your pants and fuck everything that has two legs and a heart beat.

gothweb · 02-05-2003, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cold_ice

Yes its cheating and the first thing you need to do is stop acting like its nothing. Being commited to one person is just that. One person and thats it. You sux and he has every right to leave your ass. Would you mind if he was sucking someones dick?

Bottom line is your a fucking cheater and deserve being alone. Kudos to him for wanting to leave you. You just ruin somebody's life over your silly mishap.

I think people draw the line a little too bluntly. Yes, it was cheating... but there are perfectly valid, loving, respectful, and even committed relationships that don't have those same boundaries.

gothweb · 02-05-2003, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe
Ok, i cant take this, im going over to his place to try and mend this.

Thanks for all the imput guys.

Grr.

That's the best plan. Best of luck with it, and Kudos for going that way. I hope you will do better with the communication thing in future. You've just seen why it matters.

TDF · 02-05-2003, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by XXXPaysiteDesign

No. I'd consider it cheating if my g/f kissed another guy/girl .. nobody touches my girl but me.

and me

Danielle · 02-05-2003, 11:02 PM

I'm bi-sexual and love to have sex with other women all the time.

Now if I did not have the blessing of the man I was with it would be cheating 1000%

We talked about it and set down the ground rules at the start.

So ALWAYS talk it over with your significant other BEFORE you do anything with anyone period. Female or male.

If you are truly bi, you will never be happy with the guy you are trying to keep. I would chalk it up for experience and find another guy to see and talk the bi thing out from the start.

Over the years the two of you will most likely build a resentment towards each other. It's already starting with him as your posts have shown.

You may love him quite a bit now and want to be with him forever. But what happens down the road, maybe years from now when you need to fill the needs of your bi sexuality?

Bi sexuality does not just go away.

Hugs,
Danielle

little-me · 02-05-2003, 11:04 PM

Let me get this stright... If your man buttfucked some dude in the bathroom behind the gasstation , then it's not cheating (?)

Cheating is cheating.. I don't give a fuck if it's with the same sex.. If you had the smallest amount respect for for man...you would have talked to him, before jumping in to bed with another person..

Sorry to say it... If he is braking up with you... it's your own fault.. You asked for it !!

Stamm321 · 02-05-2003, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe

I live in Vegas.

You didnt go down on my wife did you? shes bi and we live in vegas.....

but she doesnt go down unless i have met the girl and give the a'ok.. its just a matter of respect...

hell, sometimes i jump in - but not always.. sometimes im just too tired....

but yes its def. cheating - you should of talked to him beforehand

pink_in_the_middle · 02-05-2003, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gothweb

I think people draw the line a little too bluntly. Yes, it was cheating... but there are perfectly valid, loving, respectful, and even committed relationships that don't have those same boundaries.

Yes they're. But the boundaries in this relationship were never brought up.

I don't blame him if he doesn't want her.
I have been told (not like I didn't already know lol) that if I ever cheated male or female he would leave me wether or not we have kids.

And likewise for him.
When you start to date someone especially if you're bi these topics always come up. I don't see how they don't

pink_in_the_middle · 02-05-2003, 11:10 PM

I just don't understand why ANYBODY would let anybody they didn't know touch them in that type of manner.

Put the cheating aside for a few and think about this.
She prolly didn't know this girl she went down on and all of a sudden she's eating out her snatch !!

I guess some ppl have never heard of S.T.D's.
Or their body doesn't mean too much to them/don't think to highly of themselves.

cold_ice · 02-05-2003, 11:11 PM

Whats worst is that she considers it nothing but a mishap, like oops her mouth fell onto someones pussy and its no big thing. Like going out for milk. She needs to get a clue.IMO

Kimmykim · 02-05-2003, 11:15 PM

Hmm, I'm not entirely sure that she cheated, of course I'm almost as old as the shempster ;)

Given the fact that they did NOT discuss the situation beforehand, and given the fact that Zoe says her previous partners have had no issue with it, then I see no reason to disbelieve her when she says she didn't realize that it was going to be a problem.

As a matter of fact you can take out "I slept with a girl and he got mad" and substitute it with any other behaviour that one partner might find offensive that hasnt been talked about.

For instance, she could have sat and gambled for hours and lost some money and that could cause the same situation if they hadn't discussed it. She could have had more to drink than she should have, done drugs, stayed out too late, a plethora of possibilities here.

Now WHY they never talked about it may be an underlying issue. Obviously Zoe knew she was bi, did she not mention it to him at all, or did they simply not discuss what he would feel if she acted on those urges either with or without him there?

In either case it should be one of those misunderstandings that can be overcome, and hopefully he doesn't feel that Zoe deliberately mislead him or betrayed him, but that's probably that third side of every story.

cold_ice · 02-05-2003, 11:18 PM

Wow is everyone insane here, its not like gambling she was with another person(that wasnt her boyfriend and didnt have his cosent) thats fucking cheating

Kimmykim · 02-05-2003, 11:26 PM

Perhaps it was cheating, perhaps not. If they havent been together long and the topic never came up, maybe it's not. If she deliberately avoided the topic then maybe it is.

Perhaps he seemed like he wouldn't mind and then he did. Of course he had to find out some way what happened, so who really knows what the underlying psychological motivations are in the relationship.

You think it's cheating ONLY if one partner has sex with someone else?

Would it bother you if your partner had a best friend, either same sex or opposite, that they shared more of their thoughts and feelings with than they did with you? Would that be cheating? Would it not?

Jak · 02-06-2003, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by eroswebmaster
10 years later:

Zoe: How come you didn't put away the clean dishes?

Boyfriend: How come you ate that chick's pussy out in Vegas back in 2003?

LOL!

You nailed that scenario RIGHT on the head.

Jak

SandraWang · 02-06-2003, 12:58 AM

As long as your boyfriend wasn't aware of you having sex with another person, and agreeing to it, I would consider it cheating, wether it was a girl or a boy you made out with...

It has to do with trust, I would think it was just some sexy fun for you, but he might feel bad about that you didn't ask him first...

But things happen in relationships, and if he really love you, he'll forgive you! I wish you the best of luck!

AOLGuy · 02-06-2003, 01:02 AM

Sex with someone else isn't cheating--betraying their trust is.

I was in an open relationship with a bi girl for 2 years. For awhile it was great--lots of threesomes, and she only wanted other girls (which was great because I did as well).

Ultimately, she found one she liked a lot, and we broke up.

That is only one of the many problems with open relationships...

exspamr · 02-06-2003, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe
ok, I am really in need of some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and I dont want it to end on a silly thing.

last month at Internext I did some stuff with a chick, made out and went down on her. My boyfriend considers that cheating. For that he wanted to break up with me, I told him I didnt consider that cheating, but since he feels that way ill stop. He doesnt care, he says I cheated and wants to break up with me. Its been a month after and I thought we mended things out, but things finally blew up. I "should have" known that was considered cheating.

What im asking is first, are there any relationships where the girl is able to have female lovers, second, is it a common thing, third what can I do to mend this, I really love this guy and dont want it to end on such a silly mishap

Any feedback i can get will be appreciated, thanks.

you are pretty stupid... its obvious... its cheating... if you had discussed it before hand and he was cool with it then it wouldnt be cheating but to go hook up with someone else without the other person knowing about it is cheating any way you cut it... whats not to understand

bhutocracy · 02-06-2003, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kimmykim
Perhaps it was cheating, perhaps not. If they havent been together long and the topic never came up, maybe it's not. If she deliberately avoided the topic then maybe it is.

Perhaps he seemed like he wouldn't mind and then he did. Of course he had to find out some way what happened, so who really knows what the underlying psychological motivations are in the relationship.

You think it's cheating ONLY if one partner has sex with someone else?

Would it bother you if your partner had a best friend, either same sex or opposite, that they shared more of their thoughts and feelings with than they did with you? Would that be cheating? Would it not?

so if sleeping with other chicks never pops up in conversation I can sleep with another woman behind my girls back - just because it never came up???? hell fucking yes it's cheating! she had sex with another person! even if it's only in the clintonian sense. It's mildly retarded for her at best to think that fucking someone of the same sex isn't cheating.. I don't care how 'open minded' her last few boyfriends were. It's common fucking sense. an X chromosome doesn't change a goddamn thing.. so theres a little bit less hair around the mouth thats going down on you.. whoopdi fucking do.. it's like saying fucking a black man isn't cheating because he's "different".
CDsmith hit the nail on the head, being bi doesn't give you carte blanch to sleep with half of vegas, it just means theres double the potential monogamous-more-often-than-not partners.
and a "woman being able to offer another woman something a man can't.." puh-lease. what.. a smoother body? tits if you're into that as a chick? the allure of the forbidden?
bah. if your man can't give head as well as , or isn't as tender or whatever as another woman fucking teach him.

bhutocracy · 02-06-2003, 01:53 AM

sorry.. I just can't believe there is even a discussion on this.

theking · 02-06-2003, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe
ok, I am really in need of some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and I dont want it to end on a silly thing.

last month at Internext I did some stuff with a chick, made out and went down on her. My boyfriend considers that cheating. For that he wanted to break up with me, I told him I didnt consider that cheating, but since he feels that way ill stop. He doesnt care, he says I cheated and wants to break up with me. Its been a month after and I thought we mended things out, but things finally blew up. I "should have" known that was considered cheating.

What im asking is first, are there any relationships where the girl is able to have female lovers, second, is it a common thing, third what can I do to mend this, I really love this guy and dont want it to end on such a silly mishap

Any feedback i can get will be appreciated, thanks.

I refuse to believe that you are as dumb as you are making yourself appear to be.

bhutocracy · 02-06-2003, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe
I "should have" known that was considered cheating.

fucking oath.

nothing wrong with open relationships of course.. or being comfortable with and allowing your girl to screw other girls (especially if you get a piece of the action

).. the "allowing"/agreeing/whatever part being the key here.

theking · 02-06-2003, 02:15 AM

Something is going wrong with the board. My post was there then it wasn't there and now it is there again. WTF?

Joe Sixpack · 02-06-2003, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kimmykim
Perhaps it was cheating, perhaps not.

Don't be so fucking pathetic.

If the man you were with was sucking cock and swallowing loads of cum from gay men all over town, I'm sure you'd probably consider that cheating.

Sometimes women make me sick to the fucking stomach.

railz · 02-06-2003, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe

I live in Vegas.

Need a roommate?

stocktrader23 · 02-06-2003, 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Joe Sixpack

Don't be so fucking pathetic.

If the man you were with was sucking cock and swallowing loads of cum from gay men all over town, I'm sure you'd probably consider that cheating.

Sometimes women make me sick to the fucking stomach.

If I got some crazy ass disease from my woman "not knowing she was cheating" I would kill her. Something like that should definately be discussed before it happens.

Filter · 02-06-2003, 05:18 AM

of course it's cheating, next!

Ironhorse · 02-06-2003, 05:28 AM

It's cheating. I could say you should've asked him first he might have been turned on and you 3 could've had a nice yummy slurp fest, but then you said you love him and everyone I've ever talked to that's been in a threesome with romance advised me against it.

Apparently the level of intimacy in a monogomous (sp) relationship is hard to attain with anything but 2 people, sex is irrelevant..but good luck, talk to him, tell him your side, apologize then blow him =) good luck!

Captain Evil · 02-06-2003, 05:37 AM

I am amazed that someone might even seriously believe this wouldn't be considered cheating, without having talked this issue out beforehand. That seriously is pretty damn ignorant.

And the argument "girls are different and can fulfil different needs" is ofcourse ridiculous.
I like busty brunettes, but tall blondes as well. My girlfriend is a busty brunette, so if I fucked a tall blonde it wouldn't be cheating?

railz · 02-06-2003, 05:45 AM

I would consider it cheating. I'm with someone 100% when I'm with someone - I don't want to share and don't expect to have to share either.

BT · 02-06-2003, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zoe_Zoebaboe
ok, I am really in need of some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and I dont want it to end on a silly thing.

last month at Internext I did some stuff with a chick, made out and went down on her. My boyfriend considers that cheating. For that he wanted to break up with me, I told him I didnt consider that cheating, but since he feels that way ill stop. He doesnt care, he says I cheated and wants to break up with me. Its been a month after and I thought we mended things out, but things finally blew up. I "should have" known that was considered cheating.

What im asking is first, are there any relationships where the girl is able to have female lovers, second, is it a common thing, third what can I do to mend this, I really love this guy and dont want it to end on such a silly mishap

Any feedback i can get will be appreciated, thanks.

I could see if it was a dude you went down on but I don't see that being a problem.. He is gonna be a single man at home beating off to porno's with girls going down on each other!!! WTF....... But in the same token if he loves you then there is a trust issue..... You can get the hivs going down on a bitch so you fuked up!!!! Better go see your DOC!

StacyCat · 02-06-2003, 10:24 AM

Im really torn on this issue :-D

On one hand, im poly, I dont see what his problem is.

On the other, I date usually vanilla non poly guys that would have a problem with it.

If I am in a relationship where I refer to my partner as "boyfriend or girlfriend," we have either discussed having other partners, or I think that they are off limits until such time that we have that discussion. but, my polyness is really such a big part of me that its brought up in conversation usually before the second date.

But, the issue here is that "he" wants to break up with you. Sure, its a really stupid reason to some people, but he has a problem with it. And if yall havent been able to work it out in the month since it happened, it will haunt your relationship. Even if he "says" he will get over it, it will still pop up later on. That quip about the dishes? think of that.

Zoe, you are a great and wonderful girl, and I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

alias · 02-06-2003, 10:25 AM

you cheated, you are a slut

steffie · 02-06-2003, 10:26 AM

If you did it without his knowlegde and he found out later
You Cheated

If you did it while he was in the room and he approved of it

You didn't cheat

Brujah · 02-06-2003, 10:41 AM

Subconsciously I know that Zoe did this for a reason. She wants me, and this will make it easier for us to be together.

CDSmith · 02-06-2003, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kimmykim
You think it's cheating ONLY if one partner has sex with someone else?

No. I believe that most people would also include having a romantic interest in another person is also a form of cheating.

Quote:

Would it bother you if your partner had a best friend, either same sex or opposite, that they shared more of their thoughts and feelings with than they did with you? Would that be cheating? Would it not?

Sharing thoughts and feelings is not the same as being in love or romantically interested, nor is it sex. So no. Having a close friend isn't cheating. Cheating is cheating.

I too tend to draw a solid line where cheating is concerned. Having any form of sex or sex-play with a person OTHER than your partner is cheating.... unless that partner truly doesn't mind. In order to determine if your partner truly doesn't mind, that would sugges that you would have to actually communicate with him or her and get that point straight BEFORE actually doing a public muff-dive on someone.

I also think that having cybersex with someone other than your partner is considered cheating by many. Anyone care to bat that one around? It's sexual, and it involves another person. Isn't cheating cheating?

Rip · 02-06-2003, 11:24 AM

This happened to a team mate of mine

Had three kids all under 5 years old, and caught his wife in bed with another woman.

Kicked her out.

She was in it for self satisfaction, but if it was with another guy or girl, it's adultery.

He's had to drop out of everything outside the home and raise the kids (Usually we hear about this happening to women all the time) Really sad for the little children to loose a parent, that way

el_greco · 02-06-2003, 11:32 AM

FlyingIguana · 02-06-2003, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kimmykim
Perhaps it was cheating, perhaps not. If they havent been together long and the topic never came up, maybe it's not. If she deliberately avoided the topic then maybe it is.

Perhaps he seemed like he wouldn't mind and then he did. Of course he had to find out some way what happened, so who really knows what the underlying psychological motivations are in the relationship.

You think it's cheating ONLY if one partner has sex with someone else?

Would it bother you if your partner had a best friend, either same sex or opposite, that they shared more of their thoughts and feelings with than they did with you? Would that be cheating? Would it not?

performing sexual acts with other people is cheating.

cyberpunk · 02-06-2003, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by echo465

Doh, you're right on that technicality. "What happens in Vegas, stays in vegas".

I though the law was re written to include what happens with a stripper is also not aloowed to be held against you

02-05-2003, 10:58 PM	#111
Zoe_Zoebaboe Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sin City Posts: 4,463	Ok, i cant take this, im going over to his place to try and mend this. Thanks for all the imput guys. Grr. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/jennabea ICQ: 166862923 Email: [email protected]

02-05-2003, 11:04 PM	#117
little-me Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: hell Posts: 182	Let me get this stright... If your man buttfucked some dude in the bathroom behind the gasstation , then it's not cheating (?) Cheating is cheating.. I don't give a fuck if it's with the same sex.. If you had the smallest amount respect for for man...you would have talked to him, before jumping in to bed with another person.. Sorry to say it... If he is braking up with you... it's your own fault.. You asked for it !! __________________ The secret of greatness is simple: do better work than any other man in your field - and keep on doing it.

02-05-2003, 11:10 PM	#120
pink_in_the_middle Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: O Canada Posts: 4,503	I just don't understand why ANYBODY would let anybody they didn't know touch them in that type of manner. Put the cheating aside for a few and think about this. She prolly didn't know this girl she went down on and all of a sudden she's eating out her snatch !! I guess some ppl have never heard of S.T.D's. Or their body doesn't mean too much to them/don't think to highly of themselves. __________________ pinkysteph AT gmail DOT com I'm a native english speaker from Canada with a firm ass, excellent grammar and punctuation skills. If you're in need of text for your: blog, paysite galleries, DVD covers, image cropping, content purchasing, content insertion or anything else along these lines, please feel free to give me a shout. And I’m female to boot

02-06-2003, 12:58 AM	#126
SandraWang Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Norway Posts: 309	As long as your boyfriend wasn't aware of you having sex with another person, and agreeing to it, I would consider it cheating, wether it was a girl or a boy you made out with... It has to do with trust, I would think it was just some sexy fun for you, but he might feel bad about that you didn't ask him first... But things happen in relationships, and if he really love you, he'll forgive you! I wish you the best of luck! __________________ UnrealBank Promote Micro-Niches that Convert Anything from bald to bizarre and squirting. CCBill 50% Revenue: www.UnrealBank.com

02-06-2003, 02:15 AM	#133
theking Nice Kitty Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The good old USA!!! Posts: 21,053	Something is going wrong with the board. My post was there then it wasn't there and now it is there again. WTF? __________________ When you're running down my country hoss...you're walking on the fighting side of me! FOR THE LYING LOWLIFE POSTING AS PATHFINDER...https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-pr...athfinder.html Last edited by theking; 02-06-2003 at 02:17 AM..

02-05-2003, 11:02 PM	#116
Danielle Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: My Coffin Posts: 1,227	I'm bi-sexual and love to have sex with other women all the time. Now if I did not have the blessing of the man I was with it would be cheating 1000% We talked about it and set down the ground rules at the start. So ALWAYS talk it over with your significant other BEFORE you do anything with anyone period. Female or male. If you are truly bi, you will never be happy with the guy you are trying to keep. I would chalk it up for experience and find another guy to see and talk the bi thing out from the start. Over the years the two of you will most likely build a resentment towards each other. It's already starting with him as your posts have shown. You may love him quite a bit now and want to be with him forever. But what happens down the road, maybe years from now when you need to fill the needs of your bi sexuality? Bi sexuality does not just go away. Hugs, Danielle

02-05-2003, 11:11 PM	#121
cold_ice Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: cali Posts: 3,027	Whats worst is that she considers it nothing but a mishap, like oops her mouth fell onto someones pussy and its no big thing. Like going out for milk. She needs to get a clue.IMO

02-05-2003, 11:15 PM	#122
Kimmykim bitchslapping zebras!!!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: In a shack by the beach Posts: 16,015	Hmm, I'm not entirely sure that she cheated, of course I'm almost as old as the shempster ;) Given the fact that they did NOT discuss the situation beforehand, and given the fact that Zoe says her previous partners have had no issue with it, then I see no reason to disbelieve her when she says she didn't realize that it was going to be a problem. As a matter of fact you can take out "I slept with a girl and he got mad" and substitute it with any other behaviour that one partner might find offensive that hasnt been talked about. For instance, she could have sat and gambled for hours and lost some money and that could cause the same situation if they hadn't discussed it. She could have had more to drink than she should have, done drugs, stayed out too late, a plethora of possibilities here. Now WHY they never talked about it may be an underlying issue. Obviously Zoe knew she was bi, did she not mention it to him at all, or did they simply not discuss what he would feel if she acted on those urges either with or without him there? In either case it should be one of those misunderstandings that can be overcome, and hopefully he doesn't feel that Zoe deliberately mislead him or betrayed him, but that's probably that third side of every story.

02-05-2003, 11:18 PM	#123
cold_ice Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: cali Posts: 3,027	Wow is everyone insane here, its not like gambling she was with another person(that wasnt her boyfriend and didnt have his cosent) thats fucking cheating

02-05-2003, 11:26 PM	#124
Kimmykim bitchslapping zebras!!!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: In a shack by the beach Posts: 16,015	Perhaps it was cheating, perhaps not. If they havent been together long and the topic never came up, maybe it's not. If she deliberately avoided the topic then maybe it is. Perhaps he seemed like he wouldn't mind and then he did. Of course he had to find out some way what happened, so who really knows what the underlying psychological motivations are in the relationship. You think it's cheating ONLY if one partner has sex with someone else? Would it bother you if your partner had a best friend, either same sex or opposite, that they shared more of their thoughts and feelings with than they did with you? Would that be cheating? Would it not?

02-06-2003, 01:02 AM	#127
AOLGuy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Nebraska Posts: 1,261	Sex with someone else isn't cheating--betraying their trust is. I was in an open relationship with a bi girl for 2 years. For awhile it was great--lots of threesomes, and she only wanted other girls (which was great because I did as well). Ultimately, she found one she liked a lot, and we broke up. That is only one of the many problems with open relationships...

02-06-2003, 01:53 AM	#130
bhutocracy Not making A Comeback Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 10,218	sorry.. I just can't believe there is even a discussion on this.

02-06-2003, 05:18 AM	#137
Filter Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 457	of course it's cheating, next! __________________ Get your site reviewed at pornliving.com

02-06-2003, 05:28 AM	#138
Ironhorse Pixel Pusher Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 7,093	It's cheating. I could say you should've asked him first he might have been turned on and you 3 could've had a nice yummy slurp fest, but then you said you love him and everyone I've ever talked to that's been in a threesome with romance advised me against it. Apparently the level of intimacy in a monogomous (sp) relationship is hard to attain with anything but 2 people, sex is irrelevant..but good luck, talk to him, tell him your side, apologize then blow him =) good luck! __________________ [email protected]

02-06-2003, 05:37 AM	#139
Captain Evil Registered User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 164	I am amazed that someone might even seriously believe this wouldn't be considered cheating, without having talked this issue out beforehand. That seriously is pretty damn ignorant. And the argument "girls are different and can fulfil different needs" is ofcourse ridiculous. I like busty brunettes, but tall blondes as well. My girlfriend is a busty brunette, so if I fucked a tall blonde it wouldn't be cheating?

02-06-2003, 05:45 AM	#140
railz Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,531	I would consider it cheating. I'm with someone 100% when I'm with someone - I don't want to share and don't expect to have to share either. __________________ This Space for Rent

02-06-2003, 10:24 AM	#142
StacyCat Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 1,167	Im really torn on this issue :-D On one hand, im poly, I dont see what his problem is. On the other, I date usually vanilla non poly guys that would have a problem with it. If I am in a relationship where I refer to my partner as "boyfriend or girlfriend," we have either discussed having other partners, or I think that they are off limits until such time that we have that discussion. but, my polyness is really such a big part of me that its brought up in conversation usually before the second date. But, the issue here is that "he" wants to break up with you. Sure, its a really stupid reason to some people, but he has a problem with it. And if yall havent been able to work it out in the month since it happened, it will haunt your relationship. Even if he "says" he will get over it, it will still pop up later on. That quip about the dishes? think of that. Zoe, you are a great and wonderful girl, and I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

02-06-2003, 10:25 AM	#143
alias aliasx Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 19,010	you cheated, you are a slut __________________ https://porncorporation.com

02-06-2003, 10:26 AM	#144
steffie Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Somewhere in the Mountains, far far away Posts: 2,422	If you did it without his knowlegde and he found out later You Cheated If you did it while he was in the room and he approved of it You didn't cheat __________________ Partying since '96 and not going anywhere Anna's Dorm

02-06-2003, 10:41 AM	#145
Brujah Beer Money Baron Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: brujah / gmail Posts: 22,157	Subconsciously I know that Zoe did this for a reason. She wants me, and this will make it easier for us to be together. __________________ Free Premium Domain Lists and Tools at Clickmojo.com For Sale: Obscenity.com

02-06-2003, 11:24 AM	#147
Rip Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: somewheres wet Posts: 1,456	This happened to a team mate of mine Had three kids all under 5 years old, and caught his wife in bed with another woman. Kicked her out. She was in it for self satisfaction, but if it was with another guy or girl, it's adultery. He's had to drop out of everything outside the home and raise the kids (Usually we hear about this happening to women all the time) Really sad for the little children to loose a parent, that way

02-06-2003, 11:32 AM	#148
el_greco Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: LA Posts: 352	__________________ If you aren't afraid of failing, you're not pushing hard enough. el_greco - 177643483