Whats worst is that she considers it nothing but a mishap, like oops her mouth fell onto someones pussy and its no big thing. Like going out for milk. She needs to get a clue.IMO:321GFY

Hmm, I'm not entirely sure that she cheated, of course I'm almost as old as the shempster ;)

Given the fact that they did NOT discuss the situation beforehand, and given the fact that Zoe says her previous partners have had no issue with it, then I see no reason to disbelieve her when she says she didn't realize that it was going to be a problem.

As a matter of fact you can take out "I slept with a girl and he got mad" and substitute it with any other behaviour that one partner might find offensive that hasnt been talked about.

For instance, she could have sat and gambled for hours and lost some money and that could cause the same situation if they hadn't discussed it. She could have had more to drink than she should have, done drugs, stayed out too late, a plethora of possibilities here.

Now WHY they never talked about it may be an underlying issue. Obviously Zoe knew she was bi, did she not mention it to him at all, or did they simply not discuss what he would feel if she acted on those urges either with or without him there?

In either case it should be one of those misunderstandings that can be overcome, and hopefully he doesn't feel that Zoe deliberately mislead him or betrayed him, but that's probably that third side of every story.

Wow is everyone insane here, its not like gambling she was with another person(that wasnt her boyfriend and didnt have his cosent) thats fucking cheating:mad:

Perhaps it was cheating, perhaps not. If they havent been together long and the topic never came up, maybe it's not. If she deliberately avoided the topic then maybe it is.

Perhaps he seemed like he wouldn't mind and then he did. Of course he had to find out some way what happened, so who really knows what the underlying psychological motivations are in the relationship.

You think it's cheating ONLY if one partner has sex with someone else?

Would it bother you if your partner had a best friend, either same sex or opposite, that they shared more of their thoughts and feelings with than they did with you? Would that be cheating? Would it not?

LOL! :1orglaugh You nailed that scenario RIGHT on the head.

Jak

As long as your boyfriend wasn't aware of you having sex with another person, and agreeing to it, I would consider it cheating, wether it was a girl or a boy you made out with...

It has to do with trust, I would think it was just some sexy fun for you, but he might feel bad about that you didn't ask him first...

But things happen in relationships, and if he really love you, he'll forgive you! I wish you the best of luck!

Sex with someone else isn't cheating--betraying their trust is.

I was in an open relationship with a bi girl for 2 years. For awhile it was great--lots of threesomes, and she only wanted other girls (which was great because I did as well).

Ultimately, she found one she liked a lot, and we broke up.

That is only one of the many problems with open relationships...

you are pretty stupid... its obvious... its cheating... if you had discussed it before hand and he was cool with it then it wouldnt be cheating but to go hook up with someone else without the other person knowing about it is cheating any way you cut it... whats not to understand

so if sleeping with other chicks never pops up in conversation I can sleep with another woman behind my girls back - just because it never came up???? hell fucking yes it's cheating! she had sex with another person! even if it's only in the clintonian sense. It's mildly retarded for her at best to think that fucking someone of the same sex isn't cheating.. I don't care how 'open minded' her last few boyfriends were. It's common fucking sense. an X chromosome doesn't change a goddamn thing.. so theres a little bit less hair around the mouth thats going down on you.. whoopdi fucking do.. it's like saying fucking a black man isn't cheating because he's "different".
CDsmith hit the nail on the head, being bi doesn't give you carte blanch to sleep with half of vegas, it just means theres double the potential monogamous-more-often-than-not partners.
and a "woman being able to offer another woman something a man can't.." puh-lease. what.. a smoother body? tits if you're into that as a chick? the allure of the forbidden?
bah. if your man can't give head as well as , or isn't as tender or whatever as another woman fucking teach him.

sorry.. I just can't believe there is even a discussion on this.

I refuse to believe that you are as dumb as you are making yourself appear to be.

fucking oath.


nothing wrong with open relationships of course.. or being comfortable with and allowing your girl to screw other girls (especially if you get a piece of the action :)).. the "allowing"/agreeing/whatever part being the key here.

Something is going wrong with the board. My post was there then it wasn't there and now it is there again. WTF?

Don't be so fucking pathetic.

If the man you were with was sucking cock and swallowing loads of cum from gay men all over town, I'm sure you'd probably consider that cheating.

Sometimes women make me sick to the fucking stomach.

Need a roommate?

If I got some crazy ass disease from my woman "not knowing she was cheating" I would kill her. Something like that should definately be discussed before it happens.

of course it's cheating, next!

It's cheating. I could say you should've asked him first he might have been turned on and you 3 could've had a nice yummy slurp fest, but then you said you love him and everyone I've ever talked to that's been in a threesome with romance advised me against it.

Apparently the level of intimacy in a monogomous (sp) relationship is hard to attain with anything but 2 people, sex is irrelevant..but good luck, talk to him, tell him your side, apologize then blow him =) good luck!

I am amazed that someone might even seriously believe this wouldn't be considered cheating, without having talked this issue out beforehand. That seriously is pretty damn ignorant.

And the argument "girls are different and can fulfil different needs" is ofcourse ridiculous.
I like busty brunettes, but tall blondes as well. My girlfriend is a busty brunette, so if I fucked a tall blonde it wouldn't be cheating? :1orglaugh

I would consider it cheating. I'm with someone 100% when I'm with someone - I don't want to share and don't expect to have to share either.

I could see if it was a dude you went down on but I don't see that being a problem.. He is gonna be a single man at home beating off to porno's with girls going down on each other!!! WTF....... But in the same token if he loves you then there is a trust issue..... You can get the hivs going down on a bitch so you fuked up!!!! Better go see your DOC! :2 cents:

Im really torn on this issue :-D

On one hand, im poly, I dont see what his problem is.

On the other, I date usually vanilla non poly guys that would have a problem with it.

If I am in a relationship where I refer to my partner as "boyfriend or girlfriend," we have either discussed having other partners, or I think that they are off limits until such time that we have that discussion. but, my polyness is really such a big part of me that its brought up in conversation usually before the second date.

But, the issue here is that "he" wants to break up with you. Sure, its a really stupid reason to some people, but he has a problem with it. And if yall havent been able to work it out in the month since it happened, it will haunt your relationship. Even if he "says" he will get over it, it will still pop up later on. That quip about the dishes? think of that.

Zoe, you are a great and wonderful girl, and I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

you cheated, you are a slut

If you did it without his knowlegde and he found out later
You Cheated

If you did it while he was in the room and he approved of it

You didn't cheat

:2 cents:

Subconsciously I know that Zoe did this for a reason. She wants me, and this will make it easier for us to be together. :Graucho

No. I believe that most people would also include having a romantic interest in another person is also a form of cheating. Sharing thoughts and feelings is not the same as being in love or romantically interested, nor is it sex. So no. Having a close friend isn't cheating. Cheating is cheating.


I too tend to draw a solid line where cheating is concerned. Having any form of sex or sex-play with a person OTHER than your partner is cheating.... unless that partner truly doesn't mind. In order to determine if your partner truly doesn't mind, that would sugges that you would have to actually communicate with him or her and get that point straight BEFORE actually doing a public muff-dive on someone.


I also think that having cybersex with someone other than your partner is considered cheating by many. Anyone care to bat that one around? It's sexual, and it involves another person. Isn't cheating cheating?

This happened to a team mate of mine

Had three kids all under 5 years old, and caught his wife in bed with another woman.

Kicked her out.

She was in it for self satisfaction, but if it was with another guy or girl, it's adultery.

He's had to drop out of everything outside the home and raise the kids (Usually we hear about this happening to women all the time) Really sad for the little children to loose a parent, that way

http://www.four-finger.com/eatin2.gif

:)

performing sexual acts with other people is cheating.

I though the law was re written to include what happens with a stripper is also not aloowed to be held against you :)

150

And you know this didn't happen in my last relationship HOW? That's what I thought.

Different people have different ideas of what is cheating and what is not.

One person may consider cybersex cheating. Another may not.
One person may consider what Zoe did cheating while another not.
One person might consider it cheating if their partner slept with someone in the office but not if they slept with a hooker.

Before you start talking about who's doing what keep in mind that I can name relationships where this is acceptable to at least one partner ==

It doesn't really matter what everyone else thinks is cheating.

Just the two people in the relationship. And if they don't talk about what is considered cheating, there's a problem.

It does for sure - hopefully he will forgive you and you guys can move on to enjoying the relationship.

It doesn't sound like you were trying to hide it from him so he should be able to see you weren't trying to fuck around.

Unfortunately what is cheating and what isn't is different from person to person. :(

Good Luck Zoe!

I'm not gonna read this whole thread because I'm sure this is Uber controversial, and I don't want to get upset any more today.

*IMO*
A relationship between two people should be defined by those two, and no one else.

If I have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and they feel there is a level intimacy I could share with someone outside of our relationship that would be considered straying, then the two of us must discuss these boundaries and understand them, respect them, even fine~tune them, Together.
But NO ONE else can tell us what is right FOR US in OUR relationship.

...

Here's Dr. Phil's opinion:

WHAT A LUCKY GUY.

No, really... how badazz is it when you can checkout a girl out, and have your girlfriend do the same and comment on it...



I personally wouldn't consider it as cheating, unless it would happen every week for a year or something... but I would wish you would ask me to watch at least next time, or join in :)

I agree with you on this. Just because you're not actually having intercourse doesn't mean you're not cheating :2 cents:

Agreed.
She asked for our opinions and we gave it :)
But she and he will have the final decision.

%100 BULLSHIT!

I've stayed off this board because I didnt want to get all in Zoe's business, but since this is ABOUT me, I thought it time to reply.

Im Zoe's boyfriend.
The part that she keeps skipping, and hasnt told ANYBODY here, which is the total fucking smoking gun here:

She Lied to me about it.

I asked her if anything happened when I picked her up from the party. I had to do a photoshoot that night, so couldnt go TO THAT party.

She told me that she had kissed a girl. No big deal. I got a tiny bit upset, but we talked it out, and I thought, well, jeez. I guess its ok. She's kissed a few girls before, when I was around, so its alright. She promised, SWORE to god, up and down, thats all that happend.

Then I saw the pics of her Eating this bitch out, and making out with her online. SHE FUCKING LIED to me about it. AND lied about a good many other things too, which I cant/wont mention here.

Another thing, ZOE IS NOT BI. She does NOT LIKE/WANT CHICKS. she does it for "sexy fun" occasionally, but she does not persue, and doesnt like BEING persued by chicks. She acts like she is Bi, and tells people here she is Bi, because its good for her porn-webmistress career. There are also things she lies about for her job otherwise, but thats for Cyberpunk & Sykkboy to find out from her.

We' HAD DISCUSSED THIS. Another lie. I told her it would be ok, if I could be in on it, if she asked, if I even just got to watch. I've done 3 way's before. Im down with it. I totally would have LET her kiss that chick, if I were there. I would NOT have wanted her to eat the dumb bitch out though. WTF? STD's? Hello? duh? thats fucking inconsiderate TO me as well! christ! She could KILL ME by doing that. Especially by doing it with a fucked up, cracked out porn chick, like Britney.

Long story short, our relationship is holding on by a thread, and it seems only recently she realizes she made a mistake. I love Zoe, because she is a cute, VERY smart, GREAT chick otherwise. We share TONS of common interest. But she is also a total liar.

So, Im > < THIS close to just saying "fuck it" and moving on.

Now, also, Im upset that she went and smeared our personal business all over her porn industry web-board. So, she might have just put the last nail in the coffin herself.

Im SO glad I checked this board tonight, so now I've got some more resolve for this messy fucked up situation.

B]Give me a show of hands here. Dump her or Keep her? Im a pretty handsome guy, who is damn smart, and I've got a very respectable cool job. I could get another girl TOMORROW, but thats not what I want. I thought I wanted Zoe. Now its looking more and more, like I should get rid of her.[/B]