I can never look at my neighbor the same again. - GoFuckYourself.com

kane · 08-05-2011, 03:36 AM

I had lunch with my brother this afternoon. We get back and are out front of my house standing by his truck talking. My neighbor comes out and asks if we could do her a favor. She asks of we could move a couch from her living room to her back bedroom. She is getting a new one delivered tomorrow and is making room for it. No problem. We go in and the couch is not heavy, just a little awkward, but we are only moving it about 20 feet. As we pass her bedroom on our way down the hall her door is half open and I glance in. Her bed is unmade and I notice that she has what is probably a 12-14 inch long black dildo laying on her bed next to her pillow. I nearly dropped my end of the couch.

My neighbor is probably in her late 50's or even early 60's. She is about 5 foot 2 and maybe 100 pounds. Who would have guessed that she liked giant black cock. Now every time I see her I am going to wonder if she broke out the blackzilla dick the night before.

~Ray · 08-05-2011, 03:43 AM

cougars like meat

Markul · 08-05-2011, 03:45 AM

hahaha awesome!

Paul Markham · 08-05-2011, 03:56 AM

Ask her if you can come over and help her, or film her. LOL

buildingfutures · 08-05-2011, 03:57 AM

Hahah, that's an actual cool story bro.

CurrentlySober · 08-05-2011, 04:04 AM

Sorry, but why shouldn't your ADULT neighbour, be able too enjoy a healthy, normal, sex life / fetish, in the privacy of her own home?

WebCashMaker · 08-05-2011, 04:06 AM

Cool Story Bro !

brassmonkey · 08-05-2011, 04:10 AM

maybe you should go over and break her off a piece.

ruff · 08-05-2011, 04:18 AM

She left it there knowing you would see it. She's looking for the real thing and here you are writing about it on GFY. You need to be knocking on her front door!

Chosen · 08-05-2011, 05:20 AM

Choopa Phil · 08-05-2011, 05:59 AM

i literally LOL'd

martinsc · 08-05-2011, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruff

She left it there knowing you would see it. She's looking for the real thing and here you are writing about it on GFY. You need to be knocking on her front door!

PornoStar69 · 08-05-2011, 06:32 AM

Take a photo of your neighbor we wanna see what she looks like.

seeandsee · 08-05-2011, 07:02 AM

come on, fuck her with your monster cock

beerptrol · 08-05-2011, 07:25 AM

It's obvious that "move a couch" was code for a "threesome with big black dildo action thrown in".

L-Pink · 08-05-2011, 07:32 AM

Great, you both have something in common .....

.

brassmonkey · 08-05-2011, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

Great, you both have something in common .....

.

SmokeyTheBear · 08-05-2011, 09:23 AM

i have almost identical story lol..

these 2 older ladies who i assume are lesbians asked me and my friend to move a large desk down stairs when they were moving, they had taped the drawers shut so they wouldn't fly out while we were carrying it downstairs , but they used that crappy clear tape so as not to take the finish off the desk. But sure enough halfway down the stairs the bottom drawer flies open and spills out a pile of gay porn magazines, they were mostly focused on hardcore black s&m porn, my buddy nearly shit himself trying to scoop them back into the drawer before they came back in.. I was busting myself laughing as i'm sure although akward they wouldn't have really cared..

halfpint · 08-05-2011, 09:27 AM

It was left on the bed for a reason. She wanted you to see it

I think she has a crush on you

PR_Glen · 08-05-2011, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul Markham

Ask her if you can come over and help her, or film her. LOL

late 50's early 60's man come on!

SmokeyTheBear · 08-05-2011, 09:32 AM

SmokeyTheBear · 08-05-2011, 09:33 AM

JamesGw · 08-05-2011, 09:47 AM

You need to hit that.

cooldude7 · 08-05-2011, 10:06 AM

it was signal dude, u gotta fuck her hard.,

cutedimples · 08-05-2011, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Choopa Phil

i literally LOL'd

Me too! Hahaha

Spunky · 08-05-2011, 10:19 AM

They all want Mandingo cock

cutedimples · 08-05-2011, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

They all want Mandingo cock

Compare sizes w Mandingo:

http://www.thevisualiser.net/index.php?rt=visualiser

cherrylula · 08-05-2011, 10:37 AM

No reshitting? That would have been a good story.

You guys totally missed your chance to pull a train on that ho.

move a couch... yeah suuuure. LOL

Cougar Bang Fail!

DoubleD · 08-05-2011, 10:38 AM

haha well she's probably accomplished a lot in her life, wants that feeling of accomplishment to continue...

Sid70 · 08-05-2011, 10:43 AM

You still masturbate? So she does, but remember she doesnt have a cock!

JosephFM · 08-05-2011, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornoStar69

Take a photo of your neighbor we wanna see what she looks like.

I second that!

NaughtyRob · 08-05-2011, 11:38 AM

Sounds like she wanted you to see it.

kane · 08-05-2011, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurrentlySober

Sorry, but why shouldn't your ADULT neighbour, be able too enjoy a healthy, normal, sex life / fetish, in the privacy of her own home?

She can do whatever she wants. The reason I was shocked it twofold. First, she seems like a very conservative, uptight kind of person. She is one of those people that when you see them or talk to them you never imagine that they could have had or do have a sex life. Second, the neighbor that lives on the other side of me is a gay guy. When he moved in she wrote the local paper warning that if the city allows this that the gay could "take over" the city. She had always been nice to me, but then I started (and still am) dating an Asian girl and she sometimes looks at us like she doesn't approve because it is interracial. So the last thing I expected was a big black dildo.

kane · 08-05-2011, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornoStar69

Take a photo of your neighbor we wanna see what she looks like.

I will see what I can do. I swear if you looked up "little old lady" in the dictionary they would have her picture. If I get a chance to get a shot of her I will snap it and post it.

Socks · 08-05-2011, 12:29 PM

I was at a female friend's house once as a teenager, who lived with two lesbians. She decided to go into their nightstand drawer, and the dildos weren't the surprise.

They had like a little metal kitchen tray hooked up to some kind of electrical device with wires and alligator clips... Next to the dildos.

96ukssob · 08-05-2011, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornoStar69

Take a photo of your neighbor we wanna see what she looks like.

yea yea yea! do it!!!

PornStarToys · 08-05-2011, 12:50 PM

Get a photo of her using it

kane · 08-05-2011, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Socks

I was at a female friend's house once as a teenager, who lived with two lesbians. She decided to go into their nightstand drawer, and the dildos weren't the surprise.

They had like a little metal kitchen tray hooked up to some kind of electrical device with wires and alligator clips... Next to the dildos.

Now that is a little bit shocking lol

bean-aid · 08-05-2011, 02:49 PM

Ask her if she uses that blackzilla dick for anal excitement as well

Eyeball · 08-05-2011, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beaner

Ask her if she uses that blackzilla dick for anal excitement as well

Or be a real man next time and sniff it.

rogueteens · 08-05-2011, 03:13 PM

I'll bet you are on a hidden cam, there are quite a few vids like that on Daily Motion and the like, rather like the pizza dare videos.

The Duck · 08-05-2011, 03:29 PM

hahaha What can I say...

KickAssJesse · 08-05-2011, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chosen

i concur

CDSmith · 08-05-2011, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kane

She can do whatever she wants. The reason I was shocked it twofold. First, she seems like a very conservative, uptight kind of person. She is one of those people that when you see them or talk to them you never imagine that they could have had or do have a sex life. Second, the neighbor that lives on the other side of me is a gay guy. When he moved in she wrote the local paper warning that if the city allows this that the gay could "take over" the city. She had always been nice to me, but then I started (and still am) dating an Asian girl and she sometimes looks at us like she doesn't approve because it is interracial. So the last thing I expected was a big black dildo.

Funny how most people of that disposition have some hypocrisy in their private lives somewhere.

Know any big black guys? Send 'em over to her and see if she invites them in to 'move her couch'. :D

Jakez · 08-05-2011, 06:42 PM

To save myself from vomiting I had to keep glancing at your sig.

grumpy · 08-06-2011, 01:06 AM

a big black dildo doenst mean she likes big black cocks, it means she likes big black dildos. Get your facts straight

kane · 08-06-2011, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jakez

To save myself from vomiting I had to keep glancing at your sig.

LOL My sig can save lives.

amariah23 · 08-06-2011, 02:13 AM

Hahahhaha funny story.

JFK · 08-06-2011, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NaughtyRob

Sounds like she wanted you to see it.

YUp, pretty big hint

Darkhorse · 08-06-2011, 03:24 AM

lol maybe she wanted both of you to see it, wink wink lol...

08-05-2011, 03:36 AM	#1
kane Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: portland, OR Posts: 20,684	I can never look at my neighbor the same again. I had lunch with my brother this afternoon. We get back and are out front of my house standing by his truck talking. My neighbor comes out and asks if we could do her a favor. She asks of we could move a couch from her living room to her back bedroom. She is getting a new one delivered tomorrow and is making room for it. No problem. We go in and the couch is not heavy, just a little awkward, but we are only moving it about 20 feet. As we pass her bedroom on our way down the hall her door is half open and I glance in. Her bed is unmade and I notice that she has what is probably a 12-14 inch long black dildo laying on her bed next to her pillow. I nearly dropped my end of the couch. My neighbor is probably in her late 50's or even early 60's. She is about 5 foot 2 and maybe 100 pounds. Who would have guessed that she liked giant black cock. Now every time I see her I am going to wonder if she broke out the blackzilla dick the night before.

08-05-2011, 03:43 AM	#2
~Ray visit hardlinks.org Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Las Vegas , Nv >>> [email protected] or icq 94994627 anytime Posts: 18,362	cougars like meat __________________ Adult Backlinks for Adult Websites - Testimonials Available

08-05-2011, 03:56 AM	#4
Paul Markham Too old to care Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws. Posts: 52,943	Ask her if you can come over and help her, or film her. LOL __________________ Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500. PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

08-05-2011, 03:57 AM	#5
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08-05-2011, 04:04 AM	#6
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,688	Sorry, but why shouldn't your ADULT neighbour, be able too enjoy a healthy, normal, sex life / fetish, in the privacy of her own home? __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

08-05-2011, 03:45 AM	#3
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08-05-2011, 04:06 AM	#7
WebCashMaker Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,726	Cool Story Bro ! __________________ Last edited by WebCashMaker; 08-05-2011 at 04:08 AM..

08-05-2011, 04:10 AM	#8
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 77,258	maybe you should go over and break her off a piece. __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law! DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

08-05-2011, 04:18 AM	#9
ruff I have a plan B Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Seattle - Miami - St Kitts Posts: 5,506	She left it there knowing you would see it. She's looking for the real thing and here you are writing about it on GFY. You need to be knocking on her front door! __________________ CryptoFeeds

08-05-2011, 05:20 AM	#10
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08-05-2011, 05:59 AM	#11
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08-05-2011, 06:32 AM	#13
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08-05-2011, 07:02 AM	#14
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08-05-2011, 07:25 AM	#15
beerptrol Confirmed Asshole Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar. Posts: 12,722	It's obvious that "move a couch" was code for a "threesome with big black dildo action thrown in". __________________ “If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” -- Ulysses S. Grant

08-05-2011, 07:32 AM	#16
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	Great, you both have something in common ..... .

08-05-2011, 09:23 AM	#18
SmokeyTheBear ►SouthOfHeaven Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: PlanetEarth MyBoardRank: GerbilMaster My-Penis-Size: extralarge MyWeapon: Computer Posts: 28,609	i have almost identical story lol.. these 2 older ladies who i assume are lesbians asked me and my friend to move a large desk down stairs when they were moving, they had taped the drawers shut so they wouldn't fly out while we were carrying it downstairs , but they used that crappy clear tape so as not to take the finish off the desk. But sure enough halfway down the stairs the bottom drawer flies open and spills out a pile of gay porn magazines, they were mostly focused on hardcore black s&m porn, my buddy nearly shit himself trying to scoop them back into the drawer before they came back in.. I was busting myself laughing as i'm sure although akward they wouldn't have really cared.. __________________ hatisblack at yahoo.com

08-05-2011, 09:27 AM	#19
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08-05-2011, 09:32 AM	#21
SmokeyTheBear ►SouthOfHeaven Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: PlanetEarth MyBoardRank: GerbilMaster My-Penis-Size: extralarge MyWeapon: Computer Posts: 28,609	__________________ hatisblack at yahoo.com

08-05-2011, 09:33 AM	#22
SmokeyTheBear ►SouthOfHeaven Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: PlanetEarth MyBoardRank: GerbilMaster My-Penis-Size: extralarge MyWeapon: Computer Posts: 28,609	__________________ hatisblack at yahoo.com Last edited by SmokeyTheBear; 08-05-2011 at 09:35 AM..

08-05-2011, 09:47 AM	#23
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08-05-2011, 10:06 AM	#24
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08-05-2011, 10:19 AM	#26
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08-05-2011, 10:37 AM	#28
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08-05-2011, 10:38 AM	#29
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08-05-2011, 10:43 AM	#30
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08-05-2011, 11:38 AM	#32
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08-05-2011, 12:29 PM	#35
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08-05-2011, 12:50 PM	#37
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08-05-2011, 02:49 PM	#39
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08-05-2011, 03:13 PM	#41
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08-05-2011, 03:29 PM	#42
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08-05-2011, 06:42 PM	#45
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08-06-2011, 01:06 AM	#46
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08-06-2011, 02:13 AM	#48
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08-06-2011, 03:24 AM	#50
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