Things you've learned in life
 

Name some of the things you've learned in life. Not theoretical knowledge, but everyday practical stuff.
Here's a small part of my list:

- always have a spare roll of toilet paper in the house
- the longer you postpone something, the smaller the chances you will actually do it
- if a beautiful woman you have never met before asks you for a date, chances are she'll turn out to either be very stupid or an obsessive stalker
- the more you try not to forget something, the higher the chances of forgetting it
- when you get drunk and have to puke, it's always in the bar with the raunchiest toilet in the area
- when you wake up next to someone after getting drunk, you will most likely regret drinking that last beer
- the more you prepare for something, the more things that you didn't think of before will go wrong

never gamble with someone else's money

Shoot straight and speak the truth.

:glugglug

-don't eat spinach on a hot date

What I have learned....

Ask for a towel afterwards when purchasing traffic from adbuytraffic.com traffic.

Never drink 2 liters of water a day when there's a traffic jam

Here's some things I learned along the way

--if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is

--when you finally get something that you've desired for a long time, it's usually not as good as you expected.

--some people complain because there's problems. Other people complain because it's their nature to complain.

--when women tell you their age, add 2-5 years. when men tell you their income discount 20-50%

--avoid people that "let you in on a secret" that involves maligning someone else. You never know what they'll say behind YOUR back.

"Women are all bitches the one time you forget one will remind you"

- walk softly and carry a big stick

Be weary of strangers offering a favor...

my personal
never do business or trust black people .....sad but true

People who ask nosey questions are precisely the people you don't give the answers to.

My personal one...never trust people who don't trust others based on their race

If it's not your weed take 3 puffs and pass it..

if you date a girl who has cheated in a past relationship,,than don't be suprised when she does the same to you.

-Always keep your *glass* close by
-Always have a light
-never ever call the next day

Just a few





:rasta

It looks like you are a wise man.But I can asure you that I am pretty far from being a redneck and the second : if you have gone throught the same experiences like me , you would agree.....thanks god I've survived

99% of the people you interact with on a daily basis are fucking retarded.

I agree 100%

Hehe, that's my favorite one...:thumbsup

Never leave your friends/family on a bad note. You might not be around to apologize tomorrow.

I've learned punkword is an idiot

I've learned knowing how to spell is not "elite".

- it's better to have had, than never have had
- in bangkok, never fuck the same girl twice, it's redundant
- dont piss *into* the wind
- if the field has grass, play ball
- never shake a Tha's Left hand as it is a somewhat new phenomena regarding toilet paper....

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

still upset about me pulling out?:winkwink:

damn great thread.
I learned something right out of it:

- never think You know it all.
:glugglug

also
- never trust an unknown person who starts conversation with You with a joke and jokes a lot.

don't eat yellow snow.

never try to convince a stubborn person anything.....they will not listen.

- After you leave home, go back and visit when you can.

-life is lived through the being and not the having.

-trust yourself, you know better than others.

-life is an individual experience shared with others.

-I can't drink as much as when I was in college.

If someone dares you to eat/drink something, don't.

If you ever think "that'll never happen to me", your wrong!

Eventually, you will get caught.

Always go to the bathroom before you go jogging!

If you live in midwest, always pack warm stuff in your trunk, because you'll never know when you'll get stranded in a snow storm in the middle of the night.

Never say never, ever.

Plan for the WORST!
Hope for the BEST!:thumbsup

You can always push one more set of five reps

women are liars
trust nobody
the meak shall inherit the shit
violence can and does solve problems
money can buy happiness
marriage and children are financial and emotional suicide
there are no "human rights"

that it is physically impossible to lick the tip of your own elbow....














....and 99% of the people you tell that to will try to prove you wrong.........

...

If you have no carpets in your house, your cat won't throw up. If you have 100 rooms with something other than carpetting, and one room with carpet, your cat will puke on your carpet...every single time.

When your child says, "Uh, mom? Can you come here for a minute?" in a particular tone, nine times out of ten it's going to be messy and/or expensive.

The ONE time you don't turn on the light to make sure the cat isn't laying in the dark hallway, he'll sure as shit be there.

The cassette that is destroyed by your car stereo is never one you really didn't like anyway.

The precise moment you stop looking for someone is the moment someone starts looking for you.

:)

Pain is temporary
Broken bones heal
Chicks dig scars and
Glory is forever

Money always...always changes things.

Which is why it wasn't in the cassette player to begin with.:)

People still own cassettes and have cassette players in their cars?

another one that I never gave much thought to, but gets more profound to me by the day.

Ignorance is bliss.

Ohhh the freedom that being a completely clueless dumbass must bring.

- never trust nobody, you on your on
- money can buy anything and everything

I would go crazy with your paranoia.

- Always do what you promise to do

-Everytime you get lost you will land up in the bad part of town

-Most people that call themselves your friend only like you because you have something they need or want.

-Spreading rumors is always a bad idea

-Dont lick strange pussy

-Dont grow up too fast

-Doing for others without expecting anything is return will give you a warm fuzzy inside

How am I paranoid?

i learnt that coffee is a god that makes the mornings go away

I have learned to always tell the truth..its easier to keep track of..

And now you're forgetful? Argh.

You've admitted several times that you're very paranoid. IRS, government, women, cats, servals, etc. Remember now?