To anybody who has been to drug rehab:
 

What finally made you decide to get help? What was the catalyst leading to the decision that it was time for things to change?

rehab is for quitters!

When my mom said she would take away my cell phone if I didn't go. :winkwink:

This is a serious question. Somebody very close to me needs treatment and I've always read and heard that you can't make somebody get help - they have to be ready to do it for themselves.

So what does it take to make somebody realize it's time?

if you cross the line its hard to admit you crossed the line till they admit it there is nothing anyone can do.

i know many people that have crossed it :(

You answered your own question.they have to hit rock bottom in order to quit.and want to do it,nobody can intervene to try to make them.you're pissing in the wind

Okay, so what if this person admits they have crossed the line... many, many times... but won't admit that they need outside help to get over it? And what if there are innocent kids involved and this person has even admit to having put these kids in danger more than once? And what if this person has tried and tried to get clean more times than they can count but simply cannot do it on their own? (And still denies that they need help.) At what point should somebody step in and force them to get help?

Very well said Sandman! Just keep them in your thoughts and prayers(if you do that) and hope for the best, that's all you can do! Good luck to your friend!

I can understand that. But isn't there some way that an outside force can "bring" rock bottom close enough to them to make them see the potential consequences without actually allowing them to hit rock bottom? (Hope that makes sense.) IE: making threats to have CPS step in and take the kids, threatening to contact their boss, something along those lines? Anything at all to make them realize the potential damage they could be doing to themselves and others? Or is rock bottom something you can only become aware of once you've already hit it?

part of admitting you crossed the line is needing help / stoping what your doing then they have not admitted to crossing the line.

as bad as it is with shit like this its black and white once you cross the line you cant go back you need to stop 100% whatever your doing drinking / drugs whatever it might be.

i love drinking and partying and am drunk right now as i type this but as far as i know i have never crossed the line.....

There is no way to force them(that I know of). They really do need to see it on thier own, and decide to get help! :( It's never easy seeing a friend that needs help not getting it, but all you can do is be there for them and be thier friend and hope they see it soon!

nonononononono

LOL... point taken :winkwink:

you cant make them do something they dont want to do.


the only people i know that made it past a addiction wanted to make it past you cant force someone into it.

if they are female and cute tho i can help :winkwink:

Having tried and spent 25 k on a ex.short answer is no.the addiction is too strong.nothing matters and you're basically just used as a tool for the next fix.pretty cut and dry in the addiction field

ran out of cash.

wise words.

You can't make anyone seek help if they don't want it. They will usually seek help once they hit rock bottom. It also helps if people do not enable them, which a lot of families and friends do.

Also a good point. In the past, family members had been helping them out. If it weren't for family and friends, they would have already lost their house and cars. Everybody has recently come together to agree not to help them any longer... now that we all know how bad it has gotten.

The biggest concern here is that their "rock bottom" is going to somehow involve the kids and that's something none of us want to see happen. Thus the reason for trying to figure out a way to make them WANT to get help before things go that far.

Unless you pony up and throw the person an intervention of some sort, stop posting.

Regardless, this thread's going pages of people posting about some sort of abuse they do, they know about or they're making up.

simple rock bottom... nothing else... been in rehab 9 times for somkin herb due to my folks and the law... still smoke its not worse then cigs or drinking imho... if the friend u speak of has hit bottom its worth it if not tell to keep using until they hit bottom, jail time, or die :2 cents:

If there are kids involved you can try CPS or the police department. They might be able to do something. It is hard dealing with addicts. My cousin was a drug addict and didn't stop until she was arrested. She was ordered to drug treatment and then counseling. I heard she is not going to her counseling sessions, so I am sure she will be back in jail. She has two kids that were taken away by the state. Her parents are trying to get custody of them. I feel bad for her kids but I am pissed at her for her poor life choices.

Watch this show a few times, one of my favorites: http://www.aetv.com/intervention/

Only way you can force them is to refuse to associate with them until they do, and follow through.

How about you shut the fuck up until you can learn not to tell other people to stop posting? So it's okay for you to post whatever you want, but not me? Shall I get ahold of you before I make my next post to see if YOU believe my question is worthy enough for this board?

He gets upset if people have higher post counts than him for some reason.

Thanks! I've watched that show a lot too, especially recently. Thing is... I see one of two constants in almost every episode.
1. The person is already ready for some sort of help - they just don't know how to go about getting it. They wouldn't even be agreeing to be in a documentary about addiction if they haven't already at least admitted they have a problem.
OR
2. They aren't ready but agree to go to treatment because they feel forced into it and end up relapsing afterward.

Very few seem to deny they need help, agree to treatment anyway, and then end up staying clean. So I guess my question is not so much how to get them help, but more about how to make them WANT to get help.

I am getting the same answers from pretty much everybody here, and while I really appreciate the input, it's pretty disheartening to hear, especially when there are kids involved.

K. My post sucked in regard to being all happy and full of support for you. I apologize. Instead of posting here, get every and all people who care for your friend together to help that person. And I don't mean on a message board.

And Spunky's right. I hate post counts.

Thank you - that's much more helpful. I'm not looking for "happy and full of support"; I'm looking for the truth. And I'm pretty much getting it; even though it's not really what I was hoping to hear, it's obviously the sad reality.

As for the 2nd part of your post (about getting everybody together), we've done that already but the problem is that none of us have ever been in that position so we're just sitting around discussing all options and well... basically just talking out our asses since none of us have the experience required to know how to handle it. More than one drug counsellor has been contacted and they each have something different to say about the approach that should be taken. And that is exactly why I came here - hoping to hear based on personal experience from anybody who has already been there. I know there are a lot of people here who have been there, or very close to it, and nobody knows better than people who have dealt with it personally.

In my own opinion, and I don't play a doctor / counselor on TV either: get the best possible group of people, not overwhelming, and just do the most painful, heartfelt shit you could ever imagine to save that life. Don't know what else to say, but good will. Anyway. .......

That's good advice, and I appreciate it. I think the hardest part of that will be getting the closest family members and friends together in one spot at one time. It's a little difficult because she and her husband live out of state away from all family members, but I know that if we all come together with the same goal in mind, we can find a way to make that happen. I just have to hope it's not all for nothing.

First, you have to look at a few factors...

First off, which drug are we talking about? Opiate addiction has a much lower recovery rate than say...cocaine addiction.

Second, what method are they using to ingest the drugs? Intravenous drug use is much harder to stop than say...snorting something.

Third, how long have they been using the drug and at what age did regular use begin? People that start abusing a drug in their teenage years have a much harder time quitting than someone that started later in life.

Not really. Addicts are lying, thieving, manipulative pieces of shit. Not to say the sober version is that way...but addiction makes people complete shitheads. If their children are legitimately in danger, you shouldnt just be threatening to call CPS...you should be doing it. You'll feel horrible, but you'll feel a lot worse if something bad happens to the kids.

That being said, you really can't do anything except try NOT to enable them as best you can. Don't put up with their bullshit. Also, don't make hollow threats. Always give a warning but always back it up with actions.

Crack

Smoking

This time around it's been since November of last year, but it's been one thing or another for the past 12 years. This is just the newest phase, but this is the first time it's ever become a real problem. Since the beginning of this year, the two of them have burned through over $45k on the drug and have had to borrow and mooch money from everybody they can just to keep their house and car and food in their kids' bellies.

Less than a year on this particular drug doesn't seem like a very long time, but when they've already reached the stage where their young kids are running around fending for themselves all weekend while the parents are crashed out, or when their friends come over and leave the shit on the kitchen counter for the kids to find... it's far past the point that they need to get some help. And this is the same person who, up until a couple of years ago, I had as my role model for parenting. This is NOT them and they've turned into completely different people than they were even a year ago.

lolz was thinking the same thing

So true. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them DRINK

Try your dmandest to NOT call the CPS..they are evil and will only make the kids life more of a hell than they are already in.

If their are relatives that you can call to alert them of the kids danger and maybe try to convince them to intervene on the kids behalf.....junkies and drunks give up the kids easily so they can continue to party without the burden.

Good luck, people dont get help unless they want to..some never do.

i'm not an addiction specialist but i imagine that getting help in that respect is no different than making any other significant change in life for the long term... whether its quitting smoking or losing 50 pounds or whatever. you have to want it, you have to have some very strong reasons that keep you focused every single day. you're not going to give someone that reason.

i doubt the idea of acting like an ass, losing a few friends and doing shit you have to apologize for are not going to be strong enough motivating factors for someone to really want to sit down and fight and beat some sort of chemical dependence for the long term.

you want to "make someone realize" its time. i doubt that's going to happen. if you have to talk someone into it, then they don't want it and i doubt they are going to be successful.

you can't forget that you're not dealing with a rational person and you're not going to reason with them. you can't force rational thinking and rational behavior and rational decisions from the outside.

the vast majority of people who get treatment for addiction are unsuccessful. why? because others are talking them into something that they themselves are not fully convinced it's true that they need help or that they're not in control or can't control it.

I did not know you know the mother of my child :-(

I was given the same advise from people that you are getting here and I followed it and all I got from that advise heartache, guilt and two funerals. I say push and push hard they put their kids in danger you call child services you know where they buy it call the cops and have them busted at their dealers. They need a shoulder to cry on tell them there are plenty in rehab. Give them no options but rehab

Furthermore, some good tips here. Ones I learned help a little, untill they find better people to surround them with (read: other users).

- as baddog says, point out you won't be associated with them untill they clean their act
- stop getting mad, accept lying comes with drug use

That is basicly what i learned and i am dealing with one of the worst, lol. Everybody who says they have to hit rock bottom first is right, personally I would never have thought my ex could sink lower each time. Pretty sad. Her whole family is in therapy because of her now, it is like talking to a lying brick wall.