What finally made you decide to get help? What was the catalyst leading to the decision that it was time for things to change?
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Missy - Brian's Sidekick
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When my mom said she would take away my cell phone if I didn't go.
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This is a serious question. Somebody very close to me needs treatment and I've always read and heard that you can't make somebody get help - they have to be ready to do it for themselves.
So what does it take to make somebody realize it's time?See what's new at
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Missy - Brian's Sidekick
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You answered your own question.they have to hit rock bottom in order to quit.and want to do it,nobody can intervene to try to make them.you're pissing in the windComment
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Okay, so what if this person admits they have crossed the line... many, many times... but won't admit that they need outside help to get over it? And what if there are innocent kids involved and this person has even admit to having put these kids in danger more than once? And what if this person has tried and tried to get clean more times than they can count but simply cannot do it on their own? (And still denies that they need help.) At what point should somebody step in and force them to get help?See what's new at
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Missy - Brian's Sidekick
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Very well said Sandman! Just keep them in your thoughts and prayers(if you do that) and hope for the best, that's all you can do! Good luck to your friend!Comment
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I can understand that. But isn't there some way that an outside force can "bring" rock bottom close enough to them to make them see the potential consequences without actually allowing them to hit rock bottom? (Hope that makes sense.) IE: making threats to have CPS step in and take the kids, threatening to contact their boss, something along those lines? Anything at all to make them realize the potential damage they could be doing to themselves and others? Or is rock bottom something you can only become aware of once you've already hit it?See what's new at
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Missy - Brian's Sidekick
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part of admitting you crossed the line is needing help / stoping what your doing then they have not admitted to crossing the line.
as bad as it is with shit like this its black and white once you cross the line you cant go back you need to stop 100% whatever your doing drinking / drugs whatever it might be.
i love drinking and partying and am drunk right now as i type this but as far as i know i have never crossed the line.....Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]Comment
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ran out of cash.Comment
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Also a good point. In the past, family members had been helping them out. If it weren't for family and friends, they would have already lost their house and cars. Everybody has recently come together to agree not to help them any longer... now that we all know how bad it has gotten.
The biggest concern here is that their "rock bottom" is going to somehow involve the kids and that's something none of us want to see happen. Thus the reason for trying to figure out a way to make them WANT to get help before things go that far.See what's new at
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Missy - Brian's Sidekick
ICQ: 78989718Comment
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Unless you pony up and throw the person an intervention of some sort, stop posting.
Regardless, this thread's going pages of people posting about some sort of abuse they do, they know about or they're making up.Your post count means nothing.Comment
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simple rock bottom... nothing else... been in rehab 9 times for somkin herb due to my folks and the law... still smoke its not worse then cigs or drinking imho... if the friend u speak of has hit bottom its worth it if not tell to keep using until they hit bottom, jail time, or die
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If there are kids involved you can try CPS or the police department. They might be able to do something. It is hard dealing with addicts. My cousin was a drug addict and didn't stop until she was arrested. She was ordered to drug treatment and then counseling. I heard she is not going to her counseling sessions, so I am sure she will be back in jail. She has two kids that were taken away by the state. Her parents are trying to get custody of them. I feel bad for her kids but I am pissed at her for her poor life choices.Comment
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Thanks! I've watched that show a lot too, especially recently. Thing is... I see one of two constants in almost every episode.
1. The person is already ready for some sort of help - they just don't know how to go about getting it. They wouldn't even be agreeing to be in a documentary about addiction if they haven't already at least admitted they have a problem.
OR
2. They aren't ready but agree to go to treatment because they feel forced into it and end up relapsing afterward.
Very few seem to deny they need help, agree to treatment anyway, and then end up staying clean. So I guess my question is not so much how to get them help, but more about how to make them WANT to get help.
I am getting the same answers from pretty much everybody here, and while I really appreciate the input, it's pretty disheartening to hear, especially when there are kids involved.See what's new at
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Missy - Brian's Sidekick
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Your post count means nothing.Comment
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Thank you - that's much more helpful. I'm not looking for "happy and full of support"; I'm looking for the truth. And I'm pretty much getting it; even though it's not really what I was hoping to hear, it's obviously the sad reality.
As for the 2nd part of your post (about getting everybody together), we've done that already but the problem is that none of us have ever been in that position so we're just sitting around discussing all options and well... basically just talking out our asses since none of us have the experience required to know how to handle it. More than one drug counsellor has been contacted and they each have something different to say about the approach that should be taken. And that is exactly why I came here - hoping to hear based on personal experience from anybody who has already been there. I know there are a lot of people here who have been there, or very close to it, and nobody knows better than people who have dealt with it personally.See what's new at
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Missy - Brian's Sidekick
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In my own opinion, and I don't play a doctor / counselor on TV either: get the best possible group of people, not overwhelming, and just do the most painful, heartfelt shit you could ever imagine to save that life. Don't know what else to say, but good will. Anyway. .......
Your post count means nothing.Comment
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That's good advice, and I appreciate it. I think the hardest part of that will be getting the closest family members and friends together in one spot at one time. It's a little difficult because she and her husband live out of state away from all family members, but I know that if we all come together with the same goal in mind, we can find a way to make that happen. I just have to hope it's not all for nothing.See what's new at
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Missy - Brian's Sidekick
ICQ: 78989718Comment
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First, you have to look at a few factors...
First off, which drug are we talking about? Opiate addiction has a much lower recovery rate than say...cocaine addiction.
Second, what method are they using to ingest the drugs? Intravenous drug use is much harder to stop than say...snorting something.
Third, how long have they been using the drug and at what age did regular use begin? People that start abusing a drug in their teenage years have a much harder time quitting than someone that started later in life.
Not really. Addicts are lying, thieving, manipulative pieces of shit. Not to say the sober version is that way...but addiction makes people complete shitheads. If their children are legitimately in danger, you shouldnt just be threatening to call CPS...you should be doing it. You'll feel horrible, but you'll feel a lot worse if something bad happens to the kids.
That being said, you really can't do anything except try NOT to enable them as best you can. Don't put up with their bullshit. Also, don't make hollow threats. Always give a warning but always back it up with actions.Comment
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Crack
Smoking
This time around it's been since November of last year, but it's been one thing or another for the past 12 years. This is just the newest phase, but this is the first time it's ever become a real problem. Since the beginning of this year, the two of them have burned through over $45k on the drug and have had to borrow and mooch money from everybody they can just to keep their house and car and food in their kids' bellies.
Less than a year on this particular drug doesn't seem like a very long time, but when they've already reached the stage where their young kids are running around fending for themselves all weekend while the parents are crashed out, or when their friends come over and leave the shit on the kitchen counter for the kids to find... it's far past the point that they need to get some help. And this is the same person who, up until a couple of years ago, I had as my role model for parenting. This is NOT them and they've turned into completely different people than they were even a year ago.See what's new at
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Missy - Brian's Sidekick
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Try your dmandest to NOT call the CPS..they are evil and will only make the kids life more of a hell than they are already in.
If their are relatives that you can call to alert them of the kids danger and maybe try to convince them to intervene on the kids behalf.....junkies and drunks give up the kids easily so they can continue to party without the burden.
Good luck, people dont get help unless they want to..some never do.Comment
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i'm not an addiction specialist but i imagine that getting help in that respect is no different than making any other significant change in life for the long term... whether its quitting smoking or losing 50 pounds or whatever. you have to want it, you have to have some very strong reasons that keep you focused every single day. you're not going to give someone that reason.
i doubt the idea of acting like an ass, losing a few friends and doing shit you have to apologize for are not going to be strong enough motivating factors for someone to really want to sit down and fight and beat some sort of chemical dependence for the long term.
you want to "make someone realize" its time. i doubt that's going to happen. if you have to talk someone into it, then they don't want it and i doubt they are going to be successful.
you can't forget that you're not dealing with a rational person and you're not going to reason with them. you can't force rational thinking and rational behavior and rational decisions from the outside.
the vast majority of people who get treatment for addiction are unsuccessful. why? because others are talking them into something that they themselves are not fully convinced it's true that they need help or that they're not in control or can't control it.Comment
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I was given the same advise from people that you are getting here and I followed it and all I got from that advise heartache, guilt and two funerals. I say push and push hard they put their kids in danger you call child services you know where they buy it call the cops and have them busted at their dealers. They need a shoulder to cry on tell them there are plenty in rehab. Give them no options but rehabSell a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach a man how to fish, you ruin a wonderful business opportunity. -Karl MarxComment
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Furthermore, some good tips here. Ones I learned help a little, untill they find better people to surround them with (read: other users).
- as baddog says, point out you won't be associated with them untill they clean their act
- stop getting mad, accept lying comes with drug use
That is basicly what i learned and i am dealing with one of the worst, lol. Everybody who says they have to hit rock bottom first is right, personally I would never have thought my ex could sink lower each time. Pretty sad. Her whole family is in therapy because of her now, it is like talking to a lying brick wall.seks.ai for sale - ping meComment
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No need of outside help, except for someone who can get Iboga or pure Acid.
Iboga = format c:
LSD = you will either admit you need outside help or it will give you the power to help yourself for sure.
Both case you'll need professional "caretaker".
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sounds like they will probably end up in jail eventually.
but yeah they have to want to change their life.
It sounds like they are unhappy, so they have to change the part of their life making them miserable and want to use, in order to get and stay clean.
People who just agree to go to a rehab, come home, and go back to their same shitty life, usually fall.
I recommend a major life change. Moving, back to school, job change, break up a relationship, get rid of your loser friends... things like that. You can't just quit, you have to change your entire world for the better.Comment
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Missy I'm sorry to say but only way to make somebody go to rehab is buy giving up on them .. and making them realise that they have no choice ... 2 of my girl friends were on drugs .. and it had no effect on them while i was trying to help them .. after i stooped talking to them after some time they just gave up from it ... was it up to me or up to them i don't know .. but i know that there is no way u can make an addict to give up his addiction buy begging him ..Comment
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I have very much experience with this, more than I would like actually. the very best thing you can do is walk away, for your own sake and to let them see you do it. take the kids and put them with relatives.
you won't be 'giving up' you'll be helping the best you can by finding safety for the children and allowing the 'crack heads' to figure out where to go from 'here' ... whether it be skid row or to a meeting.
there is nothing else you can do. (except break your own heart)Last edited by Grapesoda; 10-25-2008, 06:43 AM.Comment
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I did not go to rehab, but I did seek counseling.
I drank and chewed for the better part of 8-10 years. From the time I transferred to a four year school, until I started my own production company full time.
When I started, it was because I could not sleep at night. So a little 'drinkie' and I could pass out, and sleep. For some reason, just being away at college was like that. Before long, I was going to the clubs, and frat parties, and it went from 2 nights a week, to 3, to 5, until it was a never ending party. I then would be sick in the morning, and need a 'nip' to take the edge off.
Over time, I was drinking a 1/5 of J.D. a day. I was sneaking into work in grape juice, and drinking on lunch if I did not do that. I would get DT's and real bad withdrawals and shit. At some point I would have to dry out, and it would take 3-5 days to dry out from hard liquor, and 2-3 just from a beer bender.
Anyways, long story short, it had gotten to the point my body could not longer metabolize alcohol. So when I would be coming down from the bender, my heart would go into B-fib, and I would have to go to the hospital. The only way it would go back to a normal rhythm was being cardio-verted.
That is where they stop, and restart your heart, and you in theory start on a normal rhythm. Anyways, my cardiologist would keep seeing me in there every few months, and would tell me what I had was 'holiday heart'. Stop drinking whiskey, and hard liquor and I would stop coming in there.
So I did eventually, but after a year or two, even beer would cause me the same thing. I would have to go in and be cardio-verted after the bender. But now to your question as to what had got me to stop....
The first 12 times I went through that shit over the course of 4-5 years I would never call anyone and tell them I was at the hospital. I would sign my form releasing the hospital from liability, and then get the electric chair and go home and sleep for a few days.
On the 13th time, my sister was home. She was home with my newborn niece who was a few months old, and sick. So the hospital called her, and she showed up. While I waited for the cardio-version, and she talked to the doctor and shit. It was the first time I had to think about not being there for my new niece. It was the first time I had to look at the fear and concern in my sister's face.....
I have never had a drink since.
That was 3-4 years ago.Comment
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