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the simpsons. HAHHAHAAAA
mr burns, speaking to his football team before the big game:
"men, there's a little crippled boy laying in a hospital, who wants you to win this game. i know this because................ i crippled him myself to inspire you." feel free to post your favorite simpsons quotes. :1orglaugh |
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"This so called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate."
- Rev. Lovejoy |
Just more proof to show that is by far the best written show in the history of television!:thumbsup
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Bart: Dad, what is your religion?
Homer: You know... the one with all the well meaning rules that dont work out in real life.... Christianity" ------------------------------------------------ Homer: There are 3 ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way! Bart: Isnt that the wrong way? Homer: Yes! But Faster!! |
"Lisa, you tried your hardest and you failed. The lesson is, never try."
-Homer Simpson "OK brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, let's just get through this so I can go back to killing you with beer." -Homer Simpson Man, I love that show. :) |
Homer speaking to mail clerk:
"Hello, my name is Mr. Burns ... I beleive you have a letter for me?" Clerk: Ok Mr. Burns, what is your first name? Homer: I don't know. :1orglaugh |
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Homer: That's not a job, it's a waste of time. What can poor people pay you? Nothing! What satisfaction you get from helping them? None! Who wants to help poor people anyway? Nobody! |
Barney: Aw, Moe, we were saved by a sissy.
Moe: Yeah, yeah, we'll never live it down. Oh, boy, it looks like it's suicide again for me. Homer: Hey! We owe this guy, and I don't want you calling him a sissy. This guy's a fruit, and a... no, wait, wait, wait: queer, queer queer! That's what you like to be called, right? John: Well, that or John. Lisa: This is about as tolerant as Dad gets so you should be flattered. |
Marge: Homer! This is the worst thing you've ever done!!
Homer: Oh Marge, you've said that so many times it's lost all meaning. |
Lisa: Mr. Burns, I hardly see what destroying our meager possessions is going to accomplish?
Burns: She's right. Take me home, Smithers, we'll destroy something tasteful. |
Homer: "He didn't give you gay did he?"
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my fav!
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"Beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
I always remember that one because it seems to be completely true in my case. :glugglug |
Homer: "I told you.......I thought the cop was a prostitute"
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Homer gets voted in as union president.
Homer: "Hey, what does this job pay?" Lenny: "Nothing" Homer: "Doh!!" Carl: "Unless you're crooked." Homer: " WOOOOOHOOOOO" |
Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:
You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done." |
Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).
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If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!
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Homer: WHY MUST YOU MOCK ME, OH LORD?!
Marge: Thats not God Homer, its just an old waffle bart tossed up there. ---Marge brings down the waffle with broomstick---- Homer: I know I shouldnt eat thee.... hmmmmm.... Sacrelicious! |
"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution." :glugglug
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I love it when he starts to pray and calls Jesus, "Jebus" and mentions the gods of all religions
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(homer impersonating mr. burns)
Homer: Exxaaaccttlyy (puts fingertips together) Only a few of you guys will get that one ;) |
At the breakfast table, bart is about to eat some bacon...
Homer: I said butter that bacon, boy. Bart: But Dad.... Homer(drawn out): BUTTER IT.... (bart spreads butter on the bacon) later in the same meal, bart is about to eat a sausage... Homer: Bacon that sausage boy.... Bart: but my heart hurts. Homer: BACON IT. (bart wraps bacon around his sausage) |
Bart: Homer, are you licking toads?
Homer: I'm not not licking toads. |
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Homer: Oooh! I'm making people HAPPY! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land who lives down Lolly Pop Laaaaane!!! (Homer slams the door behind him) Well? Any takers?? |
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Marge: You should take pride in the fact that what you are doing is making people happy. But I cant remember what he does.... |
I have 3 favorites episode.
Globex Corporation Max Power http://www.drguile.com/temp/maxpowertheme.mp3 The Beer Baron Narator: ...Walking about in a garish new hat he seems to say: "Look at me Rex Baner, I have new hat" |
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8F08 - Flaming Moe's :Graucho |
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Ever see the one where Homer gets turned to 3D and ends up walking down the street in the real world, with real people walking by and shit.
I think it was a Halloween episode. I've only seen it twice. |
Homer: Its pronounced NU-CU-LAR
or Homer (singing): " I am so smart, I am so smart....S-M-R-T!" |
Globex Corporation:
the name of the episode is "you only move twice," it's hands down the best episode, for me it goes like this.. 1. You only Movie Twice 2. Focusin (bart gets drugs to help him in school, he thinks MLB is after him) 3. Flaming Moes |
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