Actually, I need to add two things. First, what I believe to be the all-time best Simpson's quote:

"My children! They need wine!"

Second, a third episode tied for my favorite: The Foreign Echange Student episode where Bart goes to France.

SpaceAce

Homer and Bart go minature golfing, and there's a six stroke limit. At the end of the course, Bart adds up the scores.

Bart: Final score. Bart, forty one. Homer, six plus six plus six plus six plus six...

Homer: NEVERMIND!

Inside, at lunch, Freddy is served something in a bowl by a waiter.

Freddy: Hey! What the hell is this?
Waiter: [French accent] It's a bowl of chowder, sir. ["shaudere"]
Freddy: Wait a minute, come here. What did you call it? Say it loud enough so everyone can hear. Cone on, say it...
Waiter: Ahem. Chowder. ["shaudere"]
Freddy: [raucous laughter] Shau-dere? Shau-dere? It's "chowda".
["chowda"] Say it right!
Waiter: [pause] Chowder. ["shaudear"]
Freddy: [laugher] Come back here! I'm not through demeaning you.


thus explaining my name

qouted atleast twice a week in our house

' Must kill moe.....weeeeee'

At the chilli cook off after managing to eat the Guatamalan insanity pepper...

to chief wiggum : "heheh, Don't quit your day job......... whatever that is.."

and same episode..

"I hope I didn't brain my damage!"

Bart to Lisa........" Don't take that tone with me young lady , or you will taste the back of my hand"

okay, something in the thread keeps crashing my browswer and once my whole machine.

Fave Homer Quote
[To his fellow employees on the verge of a strike]
"If you don't like your job, you don't go on strike. You just go in every day and do it real half-assed. Thats the American way!"

Fave Blackboards:
"Beans Are Neither Fruit Nor Musical"
"There ARE other businesses like show business"

Fave Sight Gag:
[Sign above the entrance to the pool store Homer is shopping at which features a shark about to devour a swimmer]

Pool Shark: Where The Buyer Is Our Chum

FUCKING HILARIOUS!

couldent agree more :thumbsup

Lisa: Hi, Mr. Flanders, I see you're reading the newspaper.
Ned: Yep! Everything but the opinion page. I don't need to be told what to think--by anyone living!

This has been on my mind all day, I had to post it somewhere.

Homer is trying to find his long lost brother, so he goes searching for the orphanage where his brother lived as a child. When he gets there, he finds that the orphanage is now a gas station. He approaches one of the attendants.


Homer: 148... uh, this is it. Excuse me, is this an orphanage?

Attendant: Wow, you're a little late pal, they tore down the orphanage 30-odd years ago

Homer (drops to his knees): 30 years?! I'll never find him! I'm doomed to walk through this life alone! OH BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?!!


Attendant: Take it easy buddy, they moved across the street.




Absolute genius. :1orglaugh

ahhhahahaha

Jumping springfield gauge on barts skateboard

wohoo I'm going to make it, I'm going to make it, this is the greatest moment of my life. (or something like that)

The rest is maximum pleasure :)

OTTO: Man, what have I been smoking?!? Oh yeah! POT! :thumbsup

simpsons > *

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

One joke I really liked is when Homer is leaving work midday and bumps into Mr Burns on the way out and tells him "Cover for me". Then, Burns sits in Homer's chair, start eating his donut and slack around. Karl and Lenny both go by the open door and each time, both Burns and Karl/Lenny are afraid cause they think they got caught not working, lol

Really was a funny one... Can't remember why Homer has to leave work though and what the rest of this episode is about:(

Homer: You know what made me feel better about myself? That award I got for world's greatest dad.

Bart: Dad you bought that cause it was full of gummy worms.

Lisa: And you only wanted those as bait to catch gummy fish.

Homer: Which I did. (eats a piece of gummy fish) mmm....trophy

On one of the chalkboard writings, Bart writes, "I should be 21 by now." Just funny...

I love the episode where homer gets a gun and puts "speed holes" in the hood of his car:1orglaugh

W00T! 100 baby

Bart replaced the answering machine tape with on of some old dude singing "hello motha.. hello fatha... here i am at... camp cronada" homer checks the answering machine and yells out "Marge.. is Lisa at camp cronada?"

marge: bart, are you ready for your history test?

bart: yeah, ask me anything!

marge: ok, who was george washington carver?

bart: he was..... uh..... the guy who chopped up george washington


:1orglaugh

post more, biatchez.

Homer: "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get."


Homer: "Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?"

Homer: "I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."

"We need some more secret sauce. Put the mayonnaise in the sun." -- Manager at Krusty Burger

Homer: "I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!"

Homer: "I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."

I really like Chief Wiggum's zingers myself:

"Ok folks, back away nothin to see here... Oh my god a horrible plane wreck! Hey everybody crowd around, come on don't be shy crowd around."

"Ah jeez, can't you people take the law into your own hands?"


Dr. Nick Riviera: Don't worry, Homer, you won't feel a thing. These drugs will make the operation seem like a wonderful dream.

(Punches Homer out, and injects himself with the drugs!)

Ralph eats the berries "what's do they taste like Ralph" Ralph - "it tastes like burning"

Sadly I can't remember the exact quote, but I think it was the episode where the teachers go on strike, could be wrong about that. Principal Skinner is talking to a shaken up substitute teacher named Mr. Glasscock. I won't even try and spit out the quote, the name of the teacher should be enough to jog it from someones memory.

And let's not forget the all gay steel mill.

"Hot stuff comin' through!"

One of my favorites for sure :1orglaugh

Simpsons are :thumbsup

That one was on last night.... hehe

[reading an invitation to the barbeque]
"You're invited to our BBBQ"
"Dad, whats that extra B for?"

[Homer opens the invitation]
"The extra B is for BYOBB."
"Whats THAT extra B for?"
"Thats a typo"

hahaha, yes, that was brilliant. :1orglaugh

simpsons, homer doing the tron thing. that has to be my favorite one to date

Kent Brockman: ".. and the kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. and on a lighter note, the quickie mart clerk apu was brutally murdered last night"

1. Homer: "Mmmmm. Sacri-licious".

2. When they visit Bronson instead of Branson, MO and all the residents speak like Charles Bronson: Baby to mother after asking for a cookie and getting told no: "This ain't ovah!"

3. Homer spraying his eggs with Marge's pepper spray: "Mmmm. Incompasitating."


Kills me each time. :thumbsup

Aim low, then noone will care how far you go.

I just had to post this, ahaha. :1orglaugh


Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, will you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Lisa, pass your father the syrup.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat products.
Bart: You dipping your sausages in that syrup home boy?
Homer: Marge, please tell Bart I just want to drink a glass of syrup like I do every morning?
Marge: Tell him yourself, it's Lisa you're ignoring, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not talking to me, and second of all I heard what you said!
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case!
Bart: Uh, Dad? Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room!

My fav episodes are always the monkey ones:

#1. Where Homer Gets the Helper Monkey

"Marge leave the monkey alone his cholestorel's sky high"

#2. The Diamond mining one where Jane Goodall is using the chimps to get all the diamonds in South Africa.

Billy: "Umm, Mr. McLure, I have a crazy friend who says it's wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?"

Troy: "No, just ignorant. See Billy, your crazy friend hasn't heard of the food chain. Just ask this scientitian."

Scientist: "Uh..."

Troy: "He'll tell you that in nature, one creature invariably eats another."

(dog eats frisbee, hawk flys off with sheep, shark grabs gorilla)

Troy: "Don't kid yourself Billy, if a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about."