Adult Traffic Generator is giving away free traffic!
 

I wanted to let everyone know that I am officially launching Adult Traffic Generator.

I sell a variety of types of targeted traffic. You can buy traffic by language, country, or category. This traffic is not from exit popups, it comes from text links, full screen popunders, and expired domains.

To kick off the launch of Adult Traffic Generator, I am going to be giving away three traffic packages.

Here's the list of what's up for grabs:


Grand prize - 50,000 unique hits.

Second prize - 30,000 uniques hits.

Third prize - 10,000 uniques hits.

Winners will receive their traffic from one of my first two 'Standard Adult Traffic' packages.


The contest:

I want to know what was the most embarrasing thing that has ever happened to you.

The top three funniest entrys will be the winners.

Luclonely is not eligible for this contest (j/k). :winkwink:

The contest will begin right now and will end on Sunday, March 30th at 4:20pm EST. After this time, I will post the top 10 best ones (in my opinion) up on poll that will run for 24 hours - and let the board decide the three winners!


Ready, set, go.

:thumbsup

Most embarassing thing was when I was 14 I was walking down the street and there were some girls walking towards my direction and I wanted to impress them so I thought if I spit on the ground they would think I was cool, so I hocked up a big loogie and spit on the ground but the wind caught it and it flew right back on my shoulder with a stream of it still hanging out of my mouth.

I just stared straight ahead with a big loogie on my shoulder and hanging out my mouth like nothing happened and the girls walked on by, laughing.

bahahahaha

i remember doing that when riding a bike

ah the memories lol

Ah, that's easy... I've got two...
One, I was a small guy in college. I lived in a co-ed dorm, but the bulk of the floor that I lived on was male. I was the only freshman. One night, I got drunk, so I was stripped naked, painted blue, tied into a chair, and put in an elevator for a few hours.
Another one... I had just got clipless pedals for my mountain bike (the kind where you shoes clip to the pedals... like ski bindings). I was crossing campus on a highly, highly trafficked path. The entire crowd stopped at a street crossing, and so did I. The only thing is that I wasn't used to my new pedals yet. So, when I stopped, my shoes didn't come free. I was stuck in my pedals, so when I stopped for traffic in the middle of a crowd of people, I just fell to the side, still stuck to my bike. Several very hot chicks asked if I was ok or needed any help. I did. Instead, I had to wait until the crowd passed to extricate myself.

Most embarassing thing, it wasn't really me, but my friend was tickling me, and I almsot pissed my pants, so I told her next time I get her, Im not stopping, and I didn't, and she couldn't hold it in and pissed all over me.. and from the looks of it, she really had to go... so yeah... you want more?

I was playing some mixed doubles and was warming up. In between points I zinged off my sweats to play in my shorts. ...Which I was not wearing. Not a full shot, but pretty embarassing in a crowded tennis court.

2 things

When I first did X. I went to a huge party ,I was just standing there buzzing away in the middle of the living room with a bunch of empty beer bottles in my case talking to a chick.Then I basically blacked out and fell over this chick and all the empty beer bottles fell over the floor with me on top of this chick ..needless to say I didnt do X again.

Then when I was in Highschool in drama class.I ate a bunch of shrooms for breakfast and smoked some hash at lunch time.Well drama class came in the afternoon and I had to do a improve.I started out OK,then I had this huge rush and I was just standing there in front of the class with a stupid look on my face and swaying all over the place for about 2 minutes.The whole class laughed at me and I slinked to the corner not finishing my skit.

Most embarassing thing, would be what happened to me on Friday March 21 2003.
I was take public transist to pick up my son from his moms.
Well Friday I am getting off the bus and I slip and fall.
I fly out the door without touching anything, land on my arm with it jabbed into my ribs. Right in a puddle of dirty muddy spring melt.
Cracked 2 ribs broke 1 and bruised a lung. And got muddy water all over my jacket & pants it looked like I either shit myself or pissed myself..
Well there were some folks on the bus laughing and I turned red.
Now the funny thing was I was wearing my Adult.com jacket and was trying to catch the eye of this babe that was sitting by the door.
This babe was giggling until the Bus Driver helped me back on the bus. I did try to get her number anyway once I got my breath back. No luck!! :1orglaugh

Most embarrasing thing I ever did was buy exit traffic. The End.

i was about 16 and i was hanging out with a friend and two chicks i had crushes on. my friend decides it would be funny to try and rip off my snap pants. he pulls one leg off, so i get up and chase him into the street, pant leg still unsnapped.
as i'm running, i get tripped up in the undone pant leg, fly up in the air and land on my ass in the middle of the road with my pants off, with my friend, both chicks and a few passer-bys laughing as well as a few cars honking.

First day of the second semester my senior year of high school. I was sick as hell. I had a really nasty cold. I almost went home but I figured that would be a bad idea since it was the first day of my new classes. I went to my 5th period lit. class and sat down. I felt terrible but hey...at least I was sitting down. The bell rang and everyone got quiet as the teacher introduced herself and was telling us the basics of the class.

I felt a sneezing fit coming on but I tried to hold back the sneezes and snot. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I started sneezing. I sort of held back my sneezes so they wouldn't be too loud but at about sneeze #3 the internal pressure was just too much. As I sneezed, I let a good, loud fart. This wasn't a quiet little *poot* but rather a thunderous, full force rip. I think we all know how those hard wood chairs amplified farts too. Needless to say, the class erupted into laughter as I slinked down in my own funk. People still give me a hard time about that to this day. :(

http://www.wastedwebmasters.com/pict...s/IMG_3952.jpg

Everybody likes the smell of their own brand.

:glugglug

I really liked this girl and I told my friend and he went up and told her! Then her boyfriend and his friends came over, ripped off my pants, and sodomized me with a metal pipe. Then they screamed in my ear about "never thinking about his fucking bitch again." I sure am glad I lost consciousness -- it was embarrassing! Not only that, but later I, like, had to explain all the dried blood around my ass to my stepdad when he was helping me take a bath! It was, like, SO embarrassing!!!

Once when I was 5, I sitting in the backyard with a bunch of my friends having a peeing contest. We wanted to see who could pee the highest. I peed in my eye. My shirt got soaked in piss and I had to tell my mom what happened.

My friend was supposed to be picking me up. When a car pulled in the driveway, I just assumed it was him. So, I ran out and got into the car. Then I looked at the driver and....it was a Domino's Pizza Delivery man! My youger sister had ordered a pizza. I looked at him...and he opened his mouth to talk. Then I tried to get out of the car before he could say anything, but the door was stuck. He explained that you could only open it from the outside. SO he walked around and let me out. When I got out, I saw the huge DOMINO'S PIZZA sign on the top of the car.

That story doesn't have (as Judge Judy would say) 'the ring of truth'.

:glugglug

You callin me a liar? :glugglug :Graucho

2 things.

When I was a Senior in high school, I was a leading member of the drama club (V.P.). We were putting on a play that required me to be in a serious role as a prosecuting attorney.

Opening night rolls around and the auditorium is S.R.O. (Standing Room Only) with parents, friends, and many folks who figured it'd be a fun night out. The play goes along well, and soon it's time for my opening statement, a very long speech that is to lay out whodunit, motive, etc. etc.

As I made my case and speech, (hell, I was damn glad I remembered my lines!), I got myself into a comfortable space and confidently whizzed through the lines, to the point that the instructor was very pleased and nodding at me from where she hid just behind the curtain. As I made my final point, my foot slipped off the edge of the stage and down I went into the laps of those on the front row.

Next line? "I rest my case, Your Honor."



Other one. About four years ago while a road manager for a group called "The Stranded Dogs", I was assisting the guitarist/lead singer/my best friend (see sig Marty Malloy) haul his equipment in. We had just grabbed his huge speakers (Peavey, baby) and were manually hauling them in when the corner of one got caught in the waist of my jeans. Without realizing that my pants were caught, Marty set his end down, thinking that I was going to do the same. The jeans ripped along the side seam, allthe way from my waist to my lower thigh, revealing in front of a bar full of people that I don't normally wear underwear and I wasn't wearing any at the time of the accident.

I had to sit the whole night showing more flesh than everyone else, since home was over 100 miles away and I didn't bring any spare jeans. :-/

No, but Judge Judy would!

:1orglaugh

I shaved my eyebrows when I was young because my sister told me that when shaving I should shave all of my facial hair. Ever since I stopped I have had a unibrow. http://www.nysus.com/unibrow.gif

Cheers,
Matt

At my old job there was an Au Bon Pain in the building and a big glass wall that seperated the restaurant from the lobby.

Well one day I'm walking through the lobby and I see a nicely dressed lady with a big soda in her hand leaving Au Bon Pain and she walked >SMACK< into the glass wall, she didn't know it was there.

Her cup was crushed and fell on the ground, soda all over her arm, her glasses were tilted and she just stood there in shock, and touching her nose saying "ohhh ohhh ohhh".
The best part was there was now purple lipstick splattered on the glass wall.

I ran out of there in a flash, I couldn't stop laughing.

I was 16, just got my license, and went to my first rave and had my first full 10 strip of acid - ever.

The cops crashed the rave, and everyone split into like 50 different directions. Next thing I know, I've got 8 people crammed into my shitty little Ford Tempo, and I'm cruising out the parking lot like a crackhead with a new pair of shoes. Well, we get away in time, and as we're driving, I come up on a stop sign.

Next thing I know, dude next to me is asking me what the fuck I'm doing, and I suddenly realize.

I sat there for 15 minutes waiting for the stop sign to turn green.

Oh, gotcha ;)

when I was 22 I was dating this girl. I went over to her place to take her out for her birthday. WE decided to get after it before we got eat. So I'm sitting on her couch naked and she is sitting naked on the floor in front of me giving me a blowjob ( she had a major oral fetish ) when through the front door walks her mom. I had never even met her mom. This was the girls apartment but mom was in the area and stopped by to say happy birthday. She had explained to me before that her mom thought she was innocent and hadn't even had sex yet. So mom got a rude awakening and met me all at the same time.

So the girl jumps up and drags her mom into the bedroom and they argue/talk for a few minutes. My clothes are in the bedroom so I'm trying to cover myself with couch cushions. . . all things considered it was not a very good day. When I think back I can't remeber any other time I was so embarassed.


BTW her mom thought I was a pervert and was corrupting her daughter. . .if only she could see me now:Graucho

Once I set up an adult traffic program and it wasn't even a real virtual host, it was a folder from my other domain in a frame.

Then I used a company that will no longer be allowing adult transactions to accept payment.



I later pooped myself.

"YOUR DAUGHTER WAS NAKED AND SUCKING MY COCK" :thumbsup

Cheers,
Matt

There's some good ones so far, but I know your guys can do better.

:thumbsup

My most embarassing moment ever was when I was in college in a drama class. Our teacher wanted us to make our own movie, so that he could see how much we had learned.

Of course I was very lazy and so I couldn't get up and make that fu***** movie. As the day arrived where we all had to see each other's movie, I decided to take a general video cassette to college, with a regular film, so once my teacher would put that cassette into the player, I could tell him that I accidently grabbed the wrong cassette. That would have brought me much more time for finishing my 'real' movie.

Now as most people finished showing their movies, it was finally my turn.
I put the cassette into the player, got back on my chair. For some seconds the cassette was empty. So I thought, wow, an empty cassette. This would be good as well...
But suddenly two people showed up naked on the screen. It looked like a home made movie. One I didn't know. A few moments later I recognized - there are my parents having sex. MY parents naked, MY parents having sex, MY parents that are now known VERY well in the whole class...

I was so embarassed, my parents as well ;)

But it's a long time ago, I don't know most of the people well currently, I think I simply dropped them out of my mind :)

When I was 7 years old I visited my grandpa's farm in South Carolina. He had a chicken farm (go figure). Anyway I was having a good ole time running up and down the walkways inside one of the long chicken coops yelling at the chickens, making them go crazy. It was a sheltered pen with a concrete walkway with chicken pens on both sides above the ground. Well one of those machines that goes along the concrete walkway and scoops up the eggs was coming at me pretty fast. As I could not see the driver, I was sure he could not see me. So I figured my best bet was to run around the machine thru the mud under the chicken pens. After wading thru mud up to my neck I did manage to get around the machine and avoid being flattened. It was not until 30 minutes later that I realized that the mud was not actually mud.

I paid a chicks for a blowjob 40$ can.
she or he was a tranny or a man or something else. Oh crap

Me too :( , but I'll try to come up with something better before the deadline.

Is that where you got Chokin Chicken from?

:1orglaugh

Good old Chicken shit will get ya every time...:1orglaugh

You better believe I choked some chickens that day.

That would be pretty ironic if Choker won the grand prize, huh?


:1orglaugh

The most embarrasing moment of my life happened when I was in the ninth grade. We were all in health class and everyone was just sitting around quietly or sitting with their head down on the desk, because it was the end of the year and we were all relaxing.

Everything was quiet when I bent over because I had dropped the pencil I was doodling with. I didn't even feel it coming... the loudest boom wave ever heard. My nightmare: I farted in my classroom in front of everyone.

All of a sudden everyone was looking in my direction. They still didn't know exactly where it came from, and I was hoping they wouldn't ever find out. I had to think quick, so I blamed it on the girl next to me. Everyone believed me, until the moment when I thought I would die.

First I was laughing with everyone else. But as soon as I did, an even louder fart came out and again I didn't even feel it coming. And all of a sudden I felt a pain... it was diarrhea.

Luckily no one heard that one with all the laughing going on, but I got up to go to the trashcan and everyone started laughing at me. When I had farted not just gas had come out, and now it was all over the back of my white shorts.

"A big shit stain!" this girl kept shouting out, pointing at me. This girl just kept saying "Ooh, gross! The whole glass broke into laughter including the teacher. Needless to stay I take the rest of the day off and prayed it would't haunt me forever.

:(

I fucked her

Two years ago I was out fishing with my friends and there friends, (that I didnt knew that well). Two chicks was really nice(you seen scandinavian chicks?). We had only two boats on like 10 persons. One was big and then we had a really small one made of wood. I was in the small one alone, after some fishing we wanted a fire for the fish. Of course I was going to make up the fire..they said it was easiest so.

So when I was in the wood, they was on the lake fishing. That was what I thought. I was staring out over the lake and YES I couldnt see the boat. So when I had made the fire I thought I really had some time for jerking before they should arrive. I sat there staring over the lake , jerking and moaning. Then suddenly when I almost was going to come on the leaf.. One of the nice chicks was knocking me on the shoulder and said. I saw you managed the fire good... and then I came on the leaf. After that it was quiet for a moment and then she looked at me and my penis and said.. you managed that well too..and she started to laugh

damn it was embarassing..

:glugglug

I like Choker's chicken shit story the best right now.

Keep em coming guys.

:glugglug

I use to work shift work at a place in Artarmon (Sydney), it was a great job but the hours sucked. Every 2 week I would change shifts, 7am-3pm, 3pm-11pm and 11pm-7am.

As you can imagine changing from sleeping during the day to sleeping during the night in a quick turn around might take it's toll.

I was coming home from a 11pm-7am shift. I got to chatswood (about 7k's from my place) and found out my bus broke down a few k's away, so the there was a school bus which I got on. No one on the bus so I sat down and off we went, I soon feell alseep. It must have been about 5 mintues later the 45 odd school girls (aged around 8-15yrs) got on the bus.

Anyway, about a 2 minutes before my stop I wake up to find my shirt was all wet and my mouth is nume. I looked up and there is 20 girls around me all laughting because I had droll hanging from my mouth and all over my shirt. They had been watching me since they got on. I spent a couple of minutes cleaning my droll off and then got off the bus, to my serprise the girls put yelled out the window "DROLLER HAHAHAH" as the bus drove away.

Very embarrasing momnent. :(