You guys are lame.

Here's one of MY most embarassing moments:

A few years ago, my girlfriend at the time and I went back to her place after a night of power drinking at one of the local bars. We eventually wound up in bed and started to fool around.

When we finally got down to business, I noticed that she was being very frigid - She was just laying there, not being responsive at all. I noticed that she wasn't very wet either. So, here I am trying to get into it more, hoping to get her excited - still nothing.

After a few minutes of me all humping and moaning away - she whispers in my ear, "I'm getting jealous." - For a few seconds, I had no idea what she ment, then I realized that I wasn't 'in' her - I was 'in' beween her butt cheeks and the mattress!!!

I was so fucking humiliated - I just rolled over and went to sleep - Neither one of us ever spoke of it.

:uhoh

Got caught jerking off by my mom.

Geez I got too many embarrassing moments.

Once I was drinking at Max Fish and I started feeling sick. I got up to go to the bathroom, swooning. It was a busy weekend night and there was a line to the bathroom.
Now in this bar, the bathroom doors are in a brightly lit area right next to the pool table.
I asked the guy in front of the line if I could please go ahead of him, I think I'm gunna be sick, etc. He told me no. I stood there, confused, then proceeded to vomit all over myself, in front of about 50 people.
I stopped caring and let it just pout out of my mouth, running down my face onto my clothes.
Needless to say he let me cut in front of him then.
I guess that was more gross than embarrassing.



Another one would be at my 10-year high school reunion.
When everyone was mingling, I spotted a girl across the room, we smiled at each other, then approached each other. She gave me a hug and I hugged her back, and we started talking shit about "how have you been" and what-not.
After about 3 minutes of generic conversation, we realized that we didn't know each other at all, and silently walked away from each other, never speaking again.



And the time I got drunk and kept yelling at Jerry Seinfeld how I was going to fuck his girlfriend. That was pretty bad, I'm told.

in highschool i went and crashed at my friends parents house after a party. i was trashed and ended up shitting myself and puking all over the kitchen. i left a trail of shit from the bathroom to the bedroom, then passed out for the night. i awoke to the sounds of my friends mom screaming in horror at the mess i had left. i was never allowed back in the house.:(

Ahaha.

It was my second or third day on the job at a software development firm in Atlanta. All day long I'm getting emails from my new boss, a very serious mba wannabe middle aged middle management type chick about the current project, and also getting emails from my wife just about stupid everyday shit. Long story shortened: I reply to my wife along these lines (I don't remember exactly what I said, but this is close) :
"Foxy,
Why don't we catch a flick tonight.
Maybe you'll get lucky. Hubba hubba ;)"

As I'm sure you guessed, I had hit reply to the wrong email.

Moments later there came a very terse reply about how her husband would probably not appreciate it and so on.

The shittiest part was that I just sounded like more of a dog when I denied it to her. Yeah right pal, it was meant for your wife, sure.
The office was evry tense for a while.

The end.

Something like that happened to me recently at a club in Cherry Hill, NJ called Top Dog.

I had to puke. I had to puke bad.

I was literally fighting the vomit that was on its's way up when I was walking to the bathroom like Frankenstein. When I came to the door, the bathroom was packed.

There was someone at every urinal and stall. There even was a bathroom attendant that was directing the bathroom traffic. I was eyeballing a big trashcan that was only a short leap away, but I managed to keep the puke in check for a moment. I stood in line for about 20 seconds (but it felt like longer) until I was directed by the attendant to go to the first stall.

I entered the stall and completely spewed my guts into the bowl - a few times. I know every person in that bathroom had to of heard me. I was trying to make it as quiet as possible, but there's only so much you can do.

Through my watering eyes I saw the right shoe of this guy that was using the urinal right on the other side of my stall wall. I noticed a nice spraying of vomit on it - Hey, I got almost all of it in the toilet.

I was waiting to hear, 'What the fuck!?', but he must not have noticed.

I walked out of the stall, trying to look composed, walked over and took the paper towels that the attendant was all ready with, washed my hands, tiped him, and walked out of the bathroom.

My girlfriend wasn't too happy when I came back to the table saying that we had to go home. She just had her first beer.

I'm not usually a puker, but I certainly was that night.

:Oh crap

I was in college and I met this HOT girl with DD Tits!! After going out with her a couple of times I took her out one night for Mexican food. We got fucked up drinking Margarita's and doing Tequila shots......to make a long story short...I took her out behind one of the dorms outside and started banging her silly!!
The problem was the mexican food I ate was stirring up in my stomach.While I was stradling her and banging her, I felt I had to let a little gas go. Unfotunately, when I tried to do this......it sounded like a high pitch trumpet. I was sooo embarassed.....I went limp in an instant. She was laughing!!! Needless to say I never banged her again!!

You take creative writing class in high school, don't ya?

:winkwink:

nice thread :glugglug

I thought of another one:

I once wrote a very depressing suicide note as a 'concept story' for a site called Themestream. Themestream was a site where writers could submit short stories, and other people could submit comments on your writing/story.

Next day, I had the cops bust into my apartment while I was sleeping. They said they recieved a call from someone on that site that I was going to kill myself.

I was standing there in my boxers pissed as hell as the cop turned her head into the living room and saw my glass bong with a sack sitting right next to it.

The fuckers gave me a ticket right there, and took my shit.

Most stupid/embarassing thing i ever had was when i had my welcome party at Sobelair (Belgian airliner). When i was in flight school Sobelair was in deep need of F/O's (copilots) for their B767 fleet. The three best of the class would be given a seat in one of those babys. Finished flight school second best, did my B767 type rating and was given a seat in a Sobelair B767. They throw this big welcome party for the three of us. We arrived at the airport and the first thing that happened was a technishian on the tarmack asking us if i could drive one of the birds to the hangar for somekind of oil press prob. We took our seat, fired up only the right engine (number 2) because, why start two engines to just taxi it, right? We drove it to the first intersection and applied brake and the thing well...... it didn't stop..... just kept going. We kinda started to panic and parcked it in the dirt with it's nose wheel while everyone was watching. It appears that the press for the brakes only functions on the left engine or the APU (wich we also didn't fire up). Well, this was our first meeting with our new colleges..... kinda embarassing BIGtime.
The aircraft was pulled out the dirt with it's nose wheel, an experienced captein took the seat, fired up BOTH engines and drove it to the hangar. No damage was reported :)

...When I was a kid I was curious and I asked my cousin to have sex with me. :mad:

So it was my freshman year in high school.. I had just gotten back from a trip to hawaii, the plane food didn't do so well on my stomach. We have to go to an assembly in the school auditorium, very crowded. Suddenly I have to shit, but I can't get out, there is no way move until the assembly is done. I'm holding it in as best I can.. then the assembly ends, I'm very anxious to get up, but as soon as I stand up everything just dumps... right in my pants.

At that point I didn't have a car, so I had to walk home with a bunch of shit in my pants.

I have used this true story as sales text a number of times:


When I was about 12 years old a friend of mine and I would always fuck with this hot 18 year old that rode our bus. Well, one day she got tired of it and undid her pants and pulled them down to reveal her pretty pink and white panties with a little bow."Well! what you going to do with it?", She asked. Mesmerized by the site of her panties, I couldn't say a thing. "Thats what I thought!", she said as she zipped up her pants and turned her head to look out the window. The rest of the ride was silent. But that image had been burnt into my young mind and a panty freak was born!

Yup - Nothing but wholesome, family entertainment here!

:glugglug

There's about 24 hours left on this contest.

There's been some good ones so far. Let's get some more.

:thumbsup

While in my first year of highschool my family uprooted and moved to a filthy little town named Lebanon PA. 3/4 of the school year already finished I had no friends, nothing to do, and not even a hint of attraction from any girl in the entire school. After a month or so I get the notion this girl Lindsey has the hots for my scrawny, pale, irish ass so I take action on it and go to her house after school. Things heat up, as they had a tendency to do with this girl - she went down more often then prohosters - and for the first time since I'd left New York I'm getting head ~ out-fucking-standing!

:: thump :: thump :: thump :: a progressive thump/shuffle combination came from the downstairs hallway.

I meeped out "wait, i think someone's coming" but alas she continued to suck ~ I wasn't really going to argue at that point.

Her mom must have timed it perfectly because right as I climaxed the door swung open, Lindsey's head popped up, and I came all over everything ~ chin,hands,my shirt, her bed, everything. So there we met, eye to eye as I had just given her daughter an unintentional facial... it was silent.

Never in my life have I been so embarassed ~ I was frozen, my cock still in her hand twitching and purple - cum everywhere.

I got caught jerking off by Pete's mom.

Oh my, I have more stories than I could ever tell here. How about one from my early college days circa late nineties?

I met this girl online that went to my college and after chatting for a bit, we decided to hook up. She lived with her mom (who worked midnights at a local factory) and invited me over there and of course, I went. Well, one thing led to another and of course we end up in her bedroom. We fool around...I think we only went to third base that first night...but she did ask me to spend the night there and we both slept naked. Probably got to bed around 3 or 4 am...and her mom got home around 6 am, while we're both fast asleep.

Well, moms around the world have varying degrees of coolness with guys spending the night with their 19 year old daughters and this one wasn't extremely cool with it. The girl had locked her door and her mom saw a strange car in the driveway, so she started pounding on the door and the girl pushes me on the floor and throws a blanket over me and tells me to be quiet.

She then lets her mom in the room, who isn't fooled for a second, and comes over and pulls the blanket off my naked body and starts to yell at me and her daughter. I don't say a thing. She hands me my pants and I'm out of there as soon as I'm half dressed and don't talk to that girl for another 3 months until I bump into her at school.

We started dating then and it took me about 6 months before I could look her mom in the eyes.

Damn me too!! oh how so...

I wanted to impress Cheshire so I didn't masturbate for a whole week. It was torture and my balls hurt when I walked during Internext. Especially with all those strippers grinding on me <img src="http://www.socalsweets.com/PICT0277.JPG"> and when Nina was showing her ass <img src="http://www.socalsweets.com/PICT0155.JPG"> etc. etc.

:(

Then I took a viagra because I wanted to be really hard for sweet Cheshire... So when I got to her room she started to unbutton my shirt... and she was scratching my chest with her fingernails... all she did was scrape my nipple a little bit and I look down like OH SHIT! my dick was pulsing in my pants in contractions and the jizz was soaking through... she started laughing and I turned red... that was so embarassing, but I think she felt embarassed too because no guy ever told her to do what I told her to do next and her cheeks got red it was so nice and I was very happy and the next morning she slapped me because while I was dreaming I must have said something about her and GFY and after that she never trusted me so there you have it I fucked up really bad but it was all good to the last drop. :(

The most embarrasing thing that has ever happened to me is that I'm not eligible for this lame contest.

:helpme

No AZN allowed.

:ugone2far

:1orglaugh you guys would sell your soul for a couple of pennies.

and probably already did..

Have a problem talking about an embarassing situation that has happened to you?

You need to loosen up a little.

:glugglug

So...when are you going to post the stories available for voting?

no shit.

What can be said of a man who sits high in his mind and points at all that pass?

At 4:20pm EST, Sunday. The poll will run for 24 hrs - The board will decide the winners.

:winkwink:

You pointing that out to me in public is quite emabarassing.


count me in.

Okay, thanks.

I need coffee.

LOTS of coffee.

Party on, dude.

:glugglug

When I was about 15 I was looking at spice tv, I started jerking off and everything going smothly. Then I hear the door to my room opening and BOOOM. It was my mom's she caught me on the act. She told me "Oh, So thats what you do".

OMG, I was soooooo embarrased. But I got over that. :(

Most embarrassing thing i've ever done..

17 years old -- driving a honda civic ex 5spd w/ a little work done under the hood.

My friend tells me hes going out to the next town over to pick something up (herb) anyway, i figure, what the hell, im gonna go pick on him on the road... So i wait like down this deserted road on the corner for a while, i was thinking, pull out right in back of him and bug him out kinda thing...

So im sitting there for like 10 minutes, and all of a sudden, i see the jeep w/ the thule roof rack coming down the road... I rip out behind him bangin threw the gears, end up passing him in a crazy furey, hes honking his horn, swerving, you know, playing along. Corner comes up, i must take this corner every day, 3 times a day, im doing 85, start to downshift into 4th, corner comes up i spin out, car does a 180, rear goes into a telephone pole, knocked that over, and smashed the rear of my car up to where i was sitting in the drivers seat... Jeep pulls up behind me as im climbing out my wrecked drivers side window. Out yells, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?"

Definatly wasnt my friend but another driver, man i thought to myslef, WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT!

Then my friend pulls up to the accident scene was like, Dude, what the hell... yeah thats my story, 100k please!

Major points - That is classic!

:thumbsup

First time i've heard that response to that story. SOOOO embarassing :(

LOL but cool, glad you could get some comic relief from such a rough story.

Here's the rest of it... Ambulance comes, are you hurt sir? No ma'am, im fine. Meanwhile 5-0's are searching my car from the Cigarette lighter to the catalitic converter for drugs and booze.

Cop takes the wheels away, i get a bill from Southern New England Telephone (SNET) for $1700 for that fucking telephone pole i blew out.

Anyway, 'ol pops picks me up, drives me home, i go to sleep, IMMEDIATELY, wake up in the morning, pillow covered in blood... im like What THE FUCK.. Reach up to my head, fine more blood. Turns out, the rear windshield shattered over my head and I had small glass shards sticking in my head. I guess the Adrenaline kept the pain down.. WOW, what a fuckin idiot. Stupid memories... And to think I sold out on that for a CHANCE to win some traffic LOL..

There have been some great ones. Which post do you guys like the most?

:glugglug

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Exactly 4 hours left....


:winkwink: