All these assholes that knock on my door at night and on the weekends....I need a strategy...

[CunningStunt]

Perhaps I should take a leaf out of their book and knock on their doors when they are sitting down for dinner with their children in the evening, or having friends over on the weekend for lunch:

"Excuse me, would you like to sign up for cumdumpsters.com, we have a special $4.95 trial going right now"

"Yes, I know you may have signed up for nastydollars all sites access recently, but what if you changed that plan, and went on an allanalfistingpass instead?"

"I hear you, yes, I know I'm interrupting, this won't take long, sorry, but I have to show you this anal cum slut gang orgy site, I think you won't be able to refuse"

3 of these assholes in the last week, I've taken their details and have written to their bosses to TAKE ME OFF THEIR FUCKING LIST.

I'm thinking of getting a dog. The same fucking company's reps come to the door, different Indians / young saps every fucking week. Sick of it.

[Agent 488]

get your address off that gay cruise site.

[seeandsee]

put a SIGN, fuck off sellers!

[CunningStunt]

Originally Posted by Agent 488

get your address off that gay cruise site.

Hmm, you know, you may have a point. But I like the "curious" nature of their newsletter

My neighbour is a church going Christian, and he routinely either sets his dog on them or tells them to fuck off. It's beyond a joke.

[ottopottomouse]

Long driveway.

Gate at the road end.

Big fucking angry dog.

Job jobbed.

[georgeyw]

They never get through their first sentence with me, I open the door see it's some religious/sales freak and close the door. Same goes for telesales - answer hangup.

There is a mormon church not far from here and we get shitloads of Canadian / American kids knocking on the door. Fuck off to the lot of them.

[CunningStunt]

Originally Posted by georgeyw

They never get through their first sentence with me, I open the door see it's some religious/sales freak and close the door. Same goes for telesales - answer hangup.

There is a mormon church not far from here and we get shitloads of Canadian / American kids knocking on the door. Fuck off to the lot of them.

I thought it was a neighbour tonight, he rapped the door with a key.

Boy Alley FTW.

[facialfreak]

I used to keep a hardcore porno in the VCR queued at a special scene ... and when the J-Ws would come calling, I'd invite them in, and 4-5 minutes into our conversation, I'd discreetly hit PLAY on the remote ...

Once, the quite attractive young woman who accompanied 2 young men .... had a look of "amazement" on her face when I had a triple vag scene loaded ...

I think she wanted to stay and watch it ... but her 2 companions weren't as into it, and insisted they leave!!

Needless to say, the J-Ws don't come calling any more!

[JenniDahling]

Greet them at the door wearing nothing but a mexican wrestling mask and invite them in. Be sure to be holding a bottle of wesson oil and handcuffs.

[Phoenix]

id love to see some video of this sort of thing

i mean what a great site that would make

call it doorjams...and people could submit their videos of them jammin the people who show up un wanted

[suesheboy]

Both my houses are in private neighborhoods that are marketed "no soliciting" and "no trespassing".

Living in the country I answer the door armed - always. in the past 5 years, other than the mailman, fed ex or ups I have had 2 strangers at my door. 1 turned out to be a neighbor up the mountain who's car broke down, the other a young guy who said his car broke down which was out of sight. I told him to go back to his car and I am calling 911 for him, while I was on the phone I heard his car start down the driveway and take off.

At my house in Boca I have a monitoring system and if I don't know who you are, I won't even answer the door. I can get 2 people a day knocking on the door.

For telemarketers, guy or girl I tell them they sound cute and ask them what they are wearing. 95% hang up, the rest I get off within seconds by saying "hold on, I want to get some lube and jack off to your sexy voice". Never ever had one person hold on after that in more than 8 years.

[Chosen]

Originally Posted by facialfreak

I used to keep a hardcore porno in the VCR queued at a special scene ... and when the J-Ws would come calling, I'd invite them in, and 4-5 minutes into our conversation, I'd discreetly hit PLAY on the remote ...

Once, the quite attractive young woman who accompanied 2 young men .... had a look of "amazement" on her face when I had a triple vag scene loaded ...

I think she wanted to stay and watch it ... but her 2 companions weren't as into it, and insisted they leave!!

Needless to say, the J-Ws don't come calling any more!

[BestXXXPorn]

Just answer the door naked... they walk away.

[MaDalton]

i switched off my doorbell and since then i have my peace. if i know someone comes i switch it on, if someone comes unannounced: his problem

[wild johnny]

Originally Posted by suesheboy

For telemarketers, guy or girl I tell them they sound cute and ask them what they are wearing. 95% hang up, the rest I get off within seconds by saying "hold on, I want to get some lube and jack off to your sexy voice". Never ever had one person hold on after that in more than 8 years.

I will have to try this method.....Laughing!!

[CaptainHowdy]

Shoot one on the leg, that would set an example for the rest...

[Tom_PM]

Look up the solicitation laws for your area. In some areas, anyone soliciting must carry their permit to solicit at all times, or be registered. They must also obey "no soliciting" signs for a whole community or individual home.
See if the government works for you, or works to protect them.

[suesheboy]

There was an issue not far from here in the mountains were some young men joined the Jehovah Witnesses and were going door to door with other members and were actually casing and then robbing people.

The cops took months to catch on, told the church to not solicit in the area and as soon as they did all of the the robberies stopped.

I also don't believe in sending your kid to go knocking on neighborhood doors looking to sell gift wrap, candles etc. Want to support the school, athletic club, marching band or church? Give your own damn money. I never let my kids do that.

[cherrylula]

we had that problem, husband made a hand written sign with exclamation points:

BABY SLEEPING DO NOT KNOCK!!!

works like fucking magic. Even the delivery guys just leave everything on the porch now. Sometimes I don't notice though. :/

This would work even if you do not have a baby. Pull the baby card, it's the best!!! Nobody wants to get blamed for waking up your baby!

[fatfoo]

I suppose it's not feasible to sell porn door-to-door.
Buying porn door-to-door is easier.

[CunningStunt]

Lmfao suesheboy, you should post more often.

[MaDalton]

Originally Posted by cherrylula

we had that problem, husband made a hand written sign with exclamation points:

BABY SLEEPING DO NOT KNOCK!!!

works like fucking magic. Even the delivery guys just leave everything on the porch now. Sometimes I don't notice though. :/

This would work even if you do not have a baby. Pull the baby card, it's the best!!! Nobody wants to get blamed for waking up your baby!

sounds like a good idea

[CDSmith]

1. Install peephole.
2. Someone knocks, check peephole.
3. Don't like the look of them? Don't answer the door. Another minute and they'll move on.
4. Go finish your dinner.

The end.

[PornMD]

Originally Posted by facialfreak

Once, the quite attractive young woman who accompanied 2 young men .... had a look of "amazement" on her face when I had a triple vag scene loaded ...

I think she wanted to stay and watch it ... but her 2 companions weren't as into it, and insisted they leave!!

Awww...they ruined all the fun. They could have told her that final salvation for a woman was doing triple vag and you all could have had a wonderful time...except the "middle man", lol.

[Davy]

Originally Posted by facialfreak

I used to keep a hardcore porno in the VCR queued at a special scene ... and when the J-Ws would come calling, I'd invite them in, and 4-5 minutes into our conversation, I'd discreetly hit PLAY on the remote ...

Once, the quite attractive young woman who accompanied 2 young men .... had a look of "amazement" on her face when I had a triple vag scene loaded ...

I think she wanted to stay and watch it ... but her 2 companions weren't as into it, and insisted they leave!!

Needless to say, the J-Ws don't come calling any more!

Haha. That's awesome. But also quite creepy.

[MakingItPay]

Here is what I do.

Step 1. Put a sign on the door that says no soliciting

Step 2. Do not answer the door unless you are expecting visitors. You will notice that
people that show up unannounced are usually trying to sell something. Your friends will
stop doing it if the do this, or give them a special knock.

[tabasco]

Originally Posted by CunningStunt

"Excuse me, would you like to sign up for cumdumpsters.com, we have a special $4.95 trial going right now".

The Chaser beat you to it

[CunningStunt]

lol ^ Tabasco. Barelylegalteensluts.com

[Alky]

I've thought about getting this... I have a pretty fucking annoying neighbor.

Motion activated sprinkler FTW

http://www.amazon.com/Contech-Electr...6&sr=1-1-spell

[papill0n]

Originally Posted by CunningStunt

lol ^ Tabasco. Barelylegalteensluts.com

and the guys like going 'yeah' 'yeah im interested'

[papill0n]

oh fuck that video was good lololoo

as for getting rid of telemarketers I have a lock on my front fence and an unfriendly cattledog - they are scared shitless of dogs so it works wonders mate

[SallyRand]

I use security cameras accompianied by a small monitor embeddedin the outside wall so that the caller can see that he/she is on video. The system swtiches on via a heat sensor, such that as they approach the door, the monitor lights up and they are generally all kinds of startled by this. I then answer via the intercom which is also embedded in the outside wall. Mounted at eye level, the monitor also flashes "Retinal Scan In Progress". You should see their faces!

This at the city house. At the farm I rely on the double gate system and large free-roaming canines.

Just sayin'.

Sally.

[Seth Manson]

I have a "No Soliciting" sign right above my doorbell.

Right in front of my door, I have two door mats. One says "Do Not Disturb", the other one says "Go Away"

I rarely have anyone that I'm not expecting disturb me.

[The Porn Nerd]

Do what we do here in NYC: tape a loud dog barking - say, a Rottweiler - and then bring it the door, turn it UP, then turn it down a little, start screaming, turn it UP.

Sound of a shotgun locking helps, too. :D

[Antonio]

Originally Posted by CunningStunt

All these assholes that knock on my door at night and on the weekends....I need a strategy...

here you go - his name is Strategy