Homer Simpson's Greatest Lines - GoFuckYourself.com

rip raster · 12-05-2002, 01:28 AM

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

A woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good and you'd step over your own mother just to get one.

Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.

Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty, to make a complete ass of myself.

chodadog · 12-05-2002, 01:31 AM

You don't snuggle with Max Powers, you strap yourself in and feel the G's *proceeds to make hip thrusting motions*

Hooterdog · 12-05-2002, 01:34 AM

<BR>feelin stupid . . . . I know I am

Sappy · 12-05-2002, 01:35 AM

Stupid like a fox!

Squishy · 12-05-2002, 01:39 AM

"My pockets hurt."

marzzo · 12-05-2002, 01:40 AM

I hear they have the internet on computer now!

Hooterdog · 12-05-2002, 01:47 AM

<BR>
COMPUGLOBALHYPERMEGANET

rip raster · 12-05-2002, 02:03 AM

Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk!

The Dawg · 12-05-2002, 02:05 AM

I dont know about Homer, but the funniest Simpsons line to me is:

"I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's"

The Dawg

chodadog · 12-05-2002, 02:07 AM

Noooo, Ralph's

"Tastes like burning"

Dildozer · 12-05-2002, 02:07 AM

- to beer! The cause and solution to all of life's problems!

- Shut up brain or i'll stab you with a Q-tip

asuna · 12-05-2002, 02:12 AM

helllo my names is mr burns, i believe u have a letter for me?
Ok Mr burns whats your first name?
I don't know..

rip raster · 12-05-2002, 02:15 AM

I know I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there, please Superman?help me!

Dildozer · 12-05-2002, 02:24 AM

- Jumanji!!!!!!!
- hmmmmm erotic cakes

lagwagon · 12-05-2002, 02:30 AM

"maybe its the beer talkin marge but you have a butt that wont quit"

"marge im going to moes, send the kids to the neighbors im comin back loaded"

diggy · 12-05-2002, 03:21 AM

LOOK AT ME MARGE I SMASHED IT GOOD youve got really priddy hair

baddog · 12-05-2002, 03:32 AM

My wife is not a doobie to be passed around. I took a solemn vow on our wedding day to bogart her for life.

StacyCat · 12-05-2002, 05:57 AM

"Its just a little airborne, its still good, its still good!"

All time best simpsons line!

railz · 12-05-2002, 06:36 AM

General simpsons line:

"There's a fat guy stuck in the flume! Send down the kids!"

Homer:

"Press any key to start. I see esk, c-tarl and pug-up. Where's the 'any' key!"

pimpdust · 12-05-2002, 07:06 AM

I'm going to have to go with a line from Ralph.

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

Dildozer · 12-05-2002, 07:34 AM

From Mr Burns:

- Oh Smithers, I would've said anything to get your stem cells
- Smithers, you should learn a thing or two from this brain moron (pointing to Homer)

Juge · 12-05-2002, 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by rip raster
Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.

Juge · 12-05-2002, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pimpdust
I'm going to have to go with a line from Ralph.

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

I've heard a kid say "un-invisible" once. Heh.

Jakke PNG · 12-05-2002, 07:51 AM

Homer:

Mmm... free goo

pipp · 12-05-2002, 07:56 AM

DOWH!

Dildozer · 12-05-2002, 07:59 AM

Bart - So does this mean that i'm doomed to be a failure?

Homer - Yes son, a spectacular one

Beastiepoo · 12-05-2002, 08:14 AM

"Homercles cares not for beans!"

SilverTab · 12-05-2002, 08:53 AM

Not hommer, but definitly one of the best line
"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

Jeebus...

danevans · 12-05-2002, 08:53 AM

(Homer reading newspaper ads, sees a "Free Trampoline" by Krusty)
"Free TRAMAMBOLINE!
NO! FREE TRAMBAPOLINE!"
(makes a face like "who cares") and then: IT'S FREE!
and runs out to the car..

Homer talking to Bart after trying hard and failing: "What do we learn from this? - Never try again."

Burns: "Smithers, massage my brain" (not the line, the scene is funny)

Big E · 12-05-2002, 09:16 AM

"Stop the plane! You don't understand, I don't even believe in Jebus!"
...
"Save me Jebus!"

foe · 12-05-2002, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dildozer
From Mr Burns:

- Oh Smithers, I would've said anything to get your stem cells
- Smithers, you should learn a thing or two from this brain moron (pointing to Homer)

I just saw that yesterday great episode

rip raster · 12-05-2002, 10:50 AM

I may be naked and reeking with panda love, but I have my dignity.

Martin · 12-05-2002, 11:03 AM

Quote:

A hundred bucks for a comic book? Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo?

Quote:

Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get.

Quote:

Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart is a vampire! Beer kills brain-cells! Now lets go back to that...building...thingy... where our beds and TV...is.

Quote:

Operator, give me the number for nine-one-one!

Quote:

Barney: Hey, Homer, you're late for English! Homer: Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England.

SteveLightspeed · 12-05-2002, 11:15 AM

During Halloween Special:

Lisa: "Dad, it's Mr. Burns! He's the head vampire! You're gonna have to kill Mr. Burns!"

Homer: "Kill my boss? Dare I live out the American Dream?"

lol

salsbury · 12-05-2002, 11:21 AM

from yesterday's aired ep:

Scientist: Mr. Simpson, i'm afraid you have a crayon lodged in your brain
Homer: There's a crayon in my brain? (points to chest)

Scientist: We could remove the crayon for you! It could vastly increase your brain power! Or it could possibly kill you.
Homer: Hmm... increase my killing power eh?

Planet Bob · 12-05-2002, 11:34 AM

Mr Burns talking to a vending machine:

Mr Burns: "I would like some candy please"

Nothing happens

Mr Burns: "You just made yourself a powerfull enemy"

Dildozer · 12-05-2002, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Planet Bob
Mr Burns talking to a vending machine:

Mr Burns: "I would like some candy please"

Nothing happens

Mr Burns: "You just made yourself a powerfull enemy"

hahahaha yeah that's a good one

traffictrader · 12-05-2002, 11:45 AM

my favorite jokes on the simpsons have always been Millhouse related jokes. My personal favorite is this one

Lisa, bart, and Millhouse all in a room, then Bart draws big black glasses on Lisa and says "you look like Millhouse"

Millhouse replys, "Yeah, who's the bed wetter now, miiillllhhoouusseee"

DearAbby · 12-05-2002, 11:54 AM

From the episode where they meet a gay neighbor:

<A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/mrsparkle18/sounds/giveyougay.wav">He didn't give you gay did he? Did he? </a>

MattB · 12-05-2002, 11:54 AM

Homer - mmmmm......pistol whip (after being told he was going to be pistol whipped and imagining eating whipped cream with his pistol).

DarkJedi · 12-05-2002, 11:57 AM

Homer talking to Bart:

"Son, no matter how good you are, there's always someone better than you"

rip raster · 12-05-2002, 01:15 PM

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.

Rich J. · 12-05-2002, 03:07 PM

"I'm just trying to get into Heaven, not run for Jesus..."

Steve · 12-05-2002, 03:26 PM

Homer standing in front of the fridge holding his stomach in discomfort:
"Oh, I'm never eating chili again."
"OOoooooh! CHILI!"

12-05-2002, 01:28 AM	#1
rip raster Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Location: Everville Posts: 2,851	Homer Simpson's Greatest Lines If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing! A woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good and you'd step over your own mother just to get one. Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves. Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty, to make a complete ass of myself.

12-05-2002, 01:40 AM	#6
marzzo Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 2,134	I hear they have the internet on computer now! __________________ 4 5 zero - 2 2 - nine nine nine

12-05-2002, 02:07 AM	#11
Dildozer Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 7,519	- to beer! The cause and solution to all of life's problems! - Shut up brain or i'll stab you with a Q-tip __________________ Spam link here

12-05-2002, 02:12 AM	#12
asuna Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 8,743	helllo my names is mr burns, i believe u have a letter for me? Ok Mr burns whats your first name? I don't know.. __________________

12-05-2002, 02:24 AM	#14
Dildozer Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 7,519	- Jumanji!!!!!!! - hmmmmm erotic cakes __________________ Spam link here

12-05-2002, 01:31 AM	#2
chodadog Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 9,736	You don't snuggle with Max Powers, you strap yourself in and feel the G's proceeds to make hip thrusting motions

12-05-2002, 01:34 AM	#3
Hooterdog Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cincy Posts: 602	<BR>feelin stupid . . . . I know I am

12-05-2002, 01:35 AM	#4
Sappy Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 460	Stupid like a fox!

12-05-2002, 01:39 AM	#5
Squishy Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Hiding from you. Posts: 1,809	"My pockets hurt."

12-05-2002, 01:47 AM	#7
Hooterdog Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cincy Posts: 602	<BR> COMPUGLOBALHYPERMEGANET

12-05-2002, 02:03 AM	#8
rip raster Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Location: Everville Posts: 2,851	Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk!

12-05-2002, 02:05 AM	#9
The Dawg Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: State Of Bliss Posts: 2,438	I dont know about Homer, but the funniest Simpsons line to me is: "I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's" The Dawg

12-05-2002, 02:15 AM	#13
rip raster Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Location: Everville Posts: 2,851	I know I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there, please Superman?help me!

12-05-2002, 02:30 AM	#15
lagwagon Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: az Posts: 8,464	"maybe its the beer talkin marge but you have a butt that wont quit" "marge im going to moes, send the kids to the neighbors im comin back loaded" __________________ FTVGirls - FTVMilfs - DanielleFTV

12-05-2002, 03:21 AM	#16
diggy Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 684	LOOK AT ME MARGE I SMASHED IT GOOD youve got really priddy hair

12-05-2002, 03:32 AM	#17
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	My wife is not a doobie to be passed around. I took a solemn vow on our wedding day to bogart her for life.

12-05-2002, 05:57 AM	#18
StacyCat Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 1,167	"Its just a little airborne, its still good, its still good!" All time best simpsons line!

12-05-2002, 06:36 AM	#19
railz Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,531	General simpsons line: "There's a fat guy stuck in the flume! Send down the kids!" Homer: "Press any key to start. I see esk, c-tarl and pug-up. Where's the 'any' key!" __________________ This Space for Rent

12-05-2002, 07:06 AM	#20
pimpdust Registered User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Providence RI Posts: 14	I'm going to have to go with a line from Ralph. "Me fail English? That's unpossible!" __________________ http://www.pimpdust.com http://www.dumbpigs.com ICQ= 162663619

12-05-2002, 07:34 AM	#21
Dildozer Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 7,519	From Mr Burns: - Oh Smithers, I would've said anything to get your stem cells - Smithers, you should learn a thing or two from this brain moron (pointing to Homer) __________________ Spam link here

12-05-2002, 07:51 AM	#24
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	Homer: Mmm... free goo __________________ ..and I'm off.

12-05-2002, 07:56 AM	#25
pipp Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Where the sun don't shine Posts: 1,185	DOWH!

12-05-2002, 07:59 AM	#26
Dildozer Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 7,519	Bart - So does this mean that i'm doomed to be a failure? Homer - Yes son, a spectacular one __________________ Spam link here

12-05-2002, 08:14 AM	#27
Beastiepoo Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: In a clog shop thinking about tulips Posts: 1,971	"Homercles cares not for beans!" __________________ Dammit! My timing SUCKS! Hot body piercing jewellery at discounted prices - Click here! Got Goth traffic?? Make money with it at DarkPassions - Click Here!

12-05-2002, 08:53 AM	#28
SilverTab Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: MTL Posts: 5,060	Not hommer, but definitly one of the best line "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" Jeebus... __________________ mmm my sig was too big... no more cool animation but hey still! need php? ICQ: 94586959

12-05-2002, 08:53 AM	#29
danevans Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Europe Posts: 1,295	(Homer reading newspaper ads, sees a "Free Trampoline" by Krusty) "Free TRAMAMBOLINE! NO! FREE TRAMBAPOLINE!" (makes a face like "who cares") and then: IT'S FREE! and runs out to the car.. Homer talking to Bart after trying hard and failing: "What do we learn from this? - Never try again." Burns: "Smithers, massage my brain" (not the line, the scene is funny) __________________ Custom adult games / apps for your paysites. webmaster at multimoodia.net icq35291012

12-05-2002, 09:16 AM	#30
Big E Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 935	"Stop the plane! You don't understand, I don't even believe in Jebus!" ... "Save me Jebus!"

12-05-2002, 10:50 AM	#32
rip raster Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Location: Everville Posts: 2,851	I may be naked and reeking with panda love, but I have my dignity.

12-05-2002, 11:15 AM	#34
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	During Halloween Special: Lisa: "Dad, it's Mr. Burns! He's the head vampire! You're gonna have to kill Mr. Burns!" Homer: "Kill my boss? Dare I live out the American Dream?" lol

12-05-2002, 11:21 AM	#35
salsbury Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 1,070	from yesterday's aired ep: Scientist: Mr. Simpson, i'm afraid you have a crayon lodged in your brain Homer: There's a crayon in my brain? (points to chest) Scientist: We could remove the crayon for you! It could vastly increase your brain power! Or it could possibly kill you. Homer: Hmm... increase my killing power eh? __________________

12-05-2002, 11:34 AM	#36
Planet Bob Confirmed User Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 303	Mr Burns talking to a vending machine: Mr Burns: "I would like some candy please" Nothing happens Mr Burns: "You just made yourself a powerfull enemy"

12-05-2002, 11:45 AM	#38
traffictrader Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: ICQ# 93507395 Posts: 1,331	my favorite jokes on the simpsons have always been Millhouse related jokes. My personal favorite is this one Lisa, bart, and Millhouse all in a room, then Bart draws big black glasses on Lisa and says "you look like Millhouse" Millhouse replys, "Yeah, who's the bed wetter now, miiillllhhoouusseee" __________________

12-05-2002, 11:54 AM	#39
DearAbby Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: NoCal Posts: 979	From the episode where they meet a gay neighbor: <A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/mrsparkle18/sounds/giveyougay.wav">He didn't give you gay did he? Did he? </a>

12-05-2002, 11:54 AM	#40
MattB Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: AZ, CO, NV, CA, MT Posts: 191	Homer - mmmmm......pistol whip (after being told he was going to be pistol whipped and imagining eating whipped cream with his pistol). __________________ ARC Rewards Coming soon!

12-05-2002, 11:57 AM	#41
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	Homer talking to Bart: "Son, no matter how good you are, there's always someone better than you"