Homer Simpson's Greatest Lines
 

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

A woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good and you'd step over your own mother just to get one.

Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.

Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty, to make a complete ass of myself.

You don't snuggle with Max Powers, you strap yourself in and feel the G's *proceeds to make hip thrusting motions*

<BR>feelin stupid . . . . I know I am

Stupid like a fox!

"My pockets hurt."

I hear they have the internet on computer now!

<BR>
COMPUGLOBALHYPERMEGANET

Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk!

I dont know about Homer, but the funniest Simpsons line to me is:

"I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's"


The Dawg

Noooo, Ralph's

"Tastes like burning"

- to beer! The cause and solution to all of life's problems!

- Shut up brain or i'll stab you with a Q-tip

helllo my names is mr burns, i believe u have a letter for me?
Ok Mr burns whats your first name?
I don't know..

I know I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there, please Superman?help me!

- Jumanji!!!!!!!
- hmmmmm erotic cakes

"maybe its the beer talkin marge but you have a butt that wont quit"

"marge im going to moes, send the kids to the neighbors im comin back loaded"

LOOK AT ME MARGE I SMASHED IT GOOD youve got really priddy hair

My wife is not a doobie to be passed around. I took a solemn vow on our wedding day to bogart her for life.

"Its just a little airborne, its still good, its still good!"

All time best simpsons line!

General simpsons line:

"There's a fat guy stuck in the flume! Send down the kids!"

Homer:

"Press any key to start. I see esk, c-tarl and pug-up. Where's the 'any' key!"

I'm going to have to go with a line from Ralph.

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

From Mr Burns:

- Oh Smithers, I would've said anything to get your stem cells
- Smithers, you should learn a thing or two from this brain moron (pointing to Homer)

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh I've heard a kid say "un-invisible" once. Heh. :)

Homer:

Mmm... free goo

DOWH!

Bart - So does this mean that i'm doomed to be a failure?

Homer - Yes son, a spectacular one

"Homercles cares not for beans!"

Not hommer, but definitly one of the best line
"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

Jeebus... :helpme :1orglaugh

(Homer reading newspaper ads, sees a "Free Trampoline" by Krusty)
"Free TRAMAMBOLINE!
NO! FREE TRAMBAPOLINE!"
(makes a face like "who cares") and then: IT'S FREE!
and runs out to the car..

Homer talking to Bart after trying hard and failing: "What do we learn from this? - Never try again."

Burns: "Smithers, massage my brain" (not the line, the scene is funny)

"Stop the plane! You don't understand, I don't even believe in Jebus!"
...
"Save me Jebus!"

I just saw that yesterday great episode

I may be naked and reeking with panda love, but I have my dignity.

During Halloween Special:


Lisa: "Dad, it's Mr. Burns! He's the head vampire! You're gonna have to kill Mr. Burns!"

Homer: "Kill my boss? Dare I live out the American Dream?"



lol

from yesterday's aired ep:

Scientist: Mr. Simpson, i'm afraid you have a crayon lodged in your brain
Homer: There's a crayon in my brain? (points to chest)

Scientist: We could remove the crayon for you! It could vastly increase your brain power! Or it could possibly kill you.
Homer: Hmm... increase my killing power eh?

Mr Burns talking to a vending machine:

Mr Burns: "I would like some candy please"

Nothing happens

Mr Burns: "You just made yourself a powerfull enemy"


:1orglaugh

hahahaha yeah that's a good one
:1orglaugh

my favorite jokes on the simpsons have always been Millhouse related jokes. My personal favorite is this one

Lisa, bart, and Millhouse all in a room, then Bart draws big black glasses on Lisa and says "you look like Millhouse"

Millhouse replys, "Yeah, who's the bed wetter now, miiillllhhoouusseee"

From the episode where they meet a gay neighbor:


<A HREF="http://www.geocities.com/mrsparkle18/sounds/giveyougay.wav">He didn't give you gay did he? Did he? </a>

Homer - mmmmm......pistol whip (after being told he was going to be pistol whipped and imagining eating whipped cream with his pistol).

Homer talking to Bart:

"Son, no matter how good you are, there's always someone better than you"

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.

"I'm just trying to get into Heaven, not run for Jesus..."

Homer standing in front of the fridge holding his stomach in discomfort:
"Oh, I'm never eating chili again."
"OOoooooh! CHILI!"