Employer test (as opposed to employee test) - GoFuckYourself.com

camperjohn64 · 06-15-2009, 02:47 PM

Most companies have tests of some sort of test for prospective employees, be it PHP or C++ or HTML or accounting or whatever.

Knowing what you now know about your company, if you could re-do your interview, what test questions would you ask your company if YOU were the one interviewing THEM?

camperjohn64 · 06-15-2009, 03:05 PM

...and I don't mean general questions, I mean questions with attitude.

They ask what your previous income, so why not put on the test what their annual revenue is?

I will get the list started

1) What is your company’s annual revenue?
2) Have you ever had a disgruntled employee leave the company on bad terms?
3) What is your average employee turnover?
4)

See where I am going with this? Sensitive stuff that nobody would answer but you wish you knew.

rowan · 06-15-2009, 03:13 PM

Do potential employers really ask about income levels at a previous job? That should be none of their fucking business.

(I have no idea since I've never attended a full blown job interview. Been self employed for about 13 years now.)

camperjohn64 · 06-15-2009, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rowan

Do potential employers really ask about income levels at a previous job? That should be none of their fucking business.

(I have no idea since I've never attended a full blown job interview. Been self employed for about 13 years now.)

Yes they do! I have seen several forms where they ask your previous income level and at what job.

jmcb420 · 06-15-2009, 03:33 PM

While running a business I have been asked these questions by applicants:

Do you drug test?
Can I start at 10 instead of 8?
Do you mind if I have a few drinks during the day?
Is there anyone who works here that can pick me up?

Jokes aside, one time I had a brilliant kid ask me "In what way will your company and my experience with your company enrich my life?"

I hired him.

pornguy · 06-15-2009, 03:35 PM

If you are NOT asking the companies questions then you are making a mistake.

SilentKnight · 06-15-2009, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmcb420

Jokes aside, one time I had a brilliant kid ask me "In what way will your company and my experience with your company enrich my life?"

I hired him.

Curious what your answer was to him.

lofasz · 06-15-2009, 04:53 PM

1. Do you pay a signing bonus?
2. How many months of vacation does this position have?
3. What controlled substances are not allowed?
4. Does my personal assistant come in a blonde model?
5. Does the company car come with a chauffeur?

6. When can I start?

2012 · 06-15-2009, 08:20 PM

7. will the models you find off the street be fucking off next to my workstation ?

96ukssob · 06-15-2009, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by camperjohn64

...and I don't mean general questions, I mean questions with attitude.

They ask what your previous income, so why not put on the test what their annual revenue is?

I will get the list started

1) What is your company?s annual revenue?
2) Have you ever had a disgruntled employee leave the company on bad terms?
3) What is your average employee turnover?
4)

See where I am going with this? Sensitive stuff that nobody would answer but you wish you knew.

before i started working for myself, i hated going on interviews, so i decided to do some practice ones. since I didnt care about the job, i would ask really off the wall questions, just to get a feel of people.

it really did help in the long run because i got to feel people out better, but i would ask things like "if this company made 10% more revenue per year, how would you show your appreciation to the employees?"

about 3 years ago we started to hire some sales and business development people and WOW you would be surprised at some questions people asked. one guy asked us if we would pay him two months salary up front or he wouldnt start... needless to say, it was a quick interview

rowan · 06-15-2009, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bossku69

before i started working for myself, i hated going on interviews, so i decided to do some practice ones. since I didnt care about the job, i would ask really off the wall questions, just to get a feel of people.

it really did help in the long run because i got to feel people out better, but i would ask things like "if this company made 10% more revenue per year, how would you show your appreciation to the employees?"

That's an awesome idea... trolling job interviews.

2012 · 06-15-2009, 10:53 PM

When the interview goes bad. You know the guy was a prick and hated you. Cut the interview off whatever he did. When you shake his hand .... throw it back at him like you're flickin a booger.

Make sure you're biting your bottom lip when you do it , then just walk off

mikesouth · 06-15-2009, 11:01 PM

Do you expect me to spend my off hours at company functions with fellow employees and their families?

If I don't like working with the ass kissers I damn sure dont wanna spend my personal time with them and their ass kissing families

KillerK · 06-15-2009, 11:58 PM

Do we have to work as a team?

camperjohn64 · 06-16-2009, 10:45 AM

I love it, here are more I thought of:

- What do you really mean when you say 'some weekend hours may occassionally be required?'

- Who would I be working with on a daily basis? Can I meet/talk with them about some current projects? (BA's, Proj. Mgmt., Dev team - a way to assess their code IQ)

- What's the average percentage of annual raise for someone in my position?

- How proficient is mangement in PHP and C++? If they are not proficient, how can they manage something they don't understand?

That last one is a biggy for me. Higher-ups that have no idea what they are talking about.

camperjohn64 · 06-16-2009, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KillerK

Do we have to work as a team?

Let's switch this around to "How do you build and maintain teamwork?"

06-15-2009, 02:47 PM	#1
camperjohn64 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,531	Employer test (as opposed to employee test) Most companies have tests of some sort of test for prospective employees, be it PHP or C++ or HTML or accounting or whatever. Knowing what you now know about your company, if you could re-do your interview, what test questions would you ask your company if YOU were the one interviewing THEM? __________________ www.gimmiegirlproductions.com

06-15-2009, 03:05 PM	#2
camperjohn64 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,531	...and I don't mean general questions, I mean questions with attitude. They ask what your previous income, so why not put on the test what their annual revenue is? I will get the list started 1) What is your company’s annual revenue? 2) Have you ever had a disgruntled employee leave the company on bad terms? 3) What is your average employee turnover? 4) See where I am going with this? Sensitive stuff that nobody would answer but you wish you knew. __________________ www.gimmiegirlproductions.com

06-15-2009, 03:33 PM	#5
jmcb420 So Fucking Drunk Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 2,155	While running a business I have been asked these questions by applicants: Do you drug test? Can I start at 10 instead of 8? Do you mind if I have a few drinks during the day? Is there anyone who works here that can pick me up? Jokes aside, one time I had a brilliant kid ask me "In what way will your company and my experience with your company enrich my life?" I hired him. __________________ I'm funner than AIDS, and easier to explain to your parents.

06-15-2009, 03:35 PM	#6
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	If you are NOT asking the companies questions then you are making a mistake. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

06-15-2009, 04:53 PM	#8
lofasz Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 120	1. Do you pay a signing bonus? 2. How many months of vacation does this position have? 3. What controlled substances are not allowed? 4. Does my personal assistant come in a blonde model? 5. Does the company car come with a chauffeur? 6. When can I start? __________________ ------------ icq: 555434002 http://lofasz.com

06-15-2009, 03:13 PM	#3
rowan Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 17,393	Do potential employers really ask about income levels at a previous job? That should be none of their fucking business. (I have no idea since I've never attended a full blown job interview. Been self employed for about 13 years now.)

06-15-2009, 08:20 PM	#9
2012 So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 17,189	7. will the models you find off the street be fucking off next to my workstation ? __________________ best host: Webair \| best sponsor: Kink \| best coder: 688218966 \| Go Fuck Yourself

06-15-2009, 10:53 PM	#12
2012 So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 17,189	When the interview goes bad. You know the guy was a prick and hated you. Cut the interview off whatever he did. When you shake his hand .... throw it back at him like you're flickin a booger. Make sure you're biting your bottom lip when you do it , then just walk off __________________ best host: Webair \| best sponsor: Kink \| best coder: 688218966 \| Go Fuck Yourself

06-15-2009, 11:01 PM	#13
mikesouth Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: My High Horse Posts: 6,334	Do you expect me to spend my off hours at company functions with fellow employees and their families? If I don't like working with the ass kissers I damn sure dont wanna spend my personal time with them and their ass kissing families __________________ Mike South It's No wonder I took up drugs and alcohol, it's the only way I could dumb myself down enough to cope with the morons in this biz.

06-15-2009, 11:58 PM	#14
KillerK Confirmed User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 3,406	Do we have to work as a team?

06-16-2009, 10:45 AM	#15
camperjohn64 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,531	I love it, here are more I thought of: - What do you really mean when you say 'some weekend hours may occassionally be required?' - Who would I be working with on a daily basis? Can I meet/talk with them about some current projects? (BA's, Proj. Mgmt., Dev team - a way to assess their code IQ) - What's the average percentage of annual raise for someone in my position? - How proficient is mangement in PHP and C++? If they are not proficient, how can they manage something they don't understand? That last one is a biggy for me. Higher-ups that have no idea what they are talking about. __________________ www.gimmiegirlproductions.com