AssPirate

(thanks to Fandango.com)

Since it's almost Mother's Day, here's a fun list of celluloid Moms that have masterfully done chilling acts of cinema mayhem. See if your pick is in the list:

#9 Scariest Movie Mom ? Jennifer Coolidge in American Pie

As the original, bar-setting movie MILF, known only as ?Stifler?s Mom,?
the buxom blonde gets it on with nerdy Finch. The scariest thing about
her is her skill at seducing the young ones: offering Finch some scotch,
she purrs: ?Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.? Meow!

#10 Scariest Movie Mom ? Barbra Streisand in Meet the Fockers

Most movies involving moms portray them as either controlling bitches
or overly clingy whiners. Things go to whole new levels though, when
Mom?s an outspoken, hippie-dippy sex therapist to oldsters on ?Focker Isle?
in Florida and embarrasses you with fart jokes and grills you about your
sex life.

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AssPirate

#7 Scariest Movie Mom – Michelle Pfeiffer in White Oleander

Selfish, narcissistic, frightening, yet somehow seductive,
this mother from hell gets arrested for killing her ex, thus
sending her only child into a series of damaged foster homes.
Unlike in One Fine Day, no Mother Nuture here.


#8 Scariest Movie Mom – Fiona Shaw in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

She’s technically Harry’s aunt, but becomes his guardian
after his parents are killed. Either way, it's not very nice
to make your dead sister's only son sleep in a tiny cupboard
under the stairs while spoiling your own son rotten.

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AssPirate

#5 Scariest Movie Mom -Tyler Perry, Madea Goes to Jail

First off, when mama's really a dude, you've got problems
right away. That aside, when "mama" shoots off her mouth
and gets shipped off to jail, only God knows what's gonna
go down.

#6 Scariest Movie Mom – Betsy Palmer in Friday the 13th

Sometimes a mother’s love can go too far. Camp counselors
beware—always keep an eye on the little ones, or else Mom
might just come looking for you! With a big knife!

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AssPirate

#3 Scariest Movie Mom - Angelina Jolie in Beowulf

When mom turns out to be an impossibly seductive, shape-shifting sea monster whose feet are snake-skinned stilettos, and she's cool
watching you crawl off and die, then she seduces your killer, then sends a dragon after him, something is indeed rotten in the state of Denmark.

#4 Scariest Movie Mom – Anne Ramsey in Throw Momma from the Train

Just looking at this mama’s face is enough to make any kid run screaming for the exits. Even worse when she makes you a virtual slave to her every whim—it’s enough to put murder on any son’s mind.

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AssPirate

#1 Scariest Movie Mom - Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest

She puts on a perfect face for the rest of the world, but behind the scenes screams "No more wire hangers!" while beating you with one and destroys the bathroom just to make you clean it up. And you're adopted, even,
making it that much worse!

Happy Mother's Day -- we think!

#2 Scariest Movie Mom – Jane Fonda in Monster-in-Law

Viola’s the quintessential nasty mother-in-law-to-be, a protective, destructive woman having a middle-age meltdown who does everything she can to break up her son’s engagement, from belittling his new love to
inviting his ex over to visit.

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AssPirate

(this is not in the Fandango.com article)
Special Mention: Piper Laurie in Carrie

Piper made us take a second look at those kooky Christian fundamentalists. What may be lurking in their loins is a telekinetic mass murderer or women who'd preach the word of God than tell her daughter about menstruation.

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Scott McD

Scary ? No!

Hot ? Fuck yeah.

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AssPirate

bumping for Moms

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