I'm fucking tired. I've had enough of this. Fuck this.

[jmcb420]

My friends, G Fuck Yourself.

I'm fucking tired of this shit. HTML, PHP, MySQL, PhotoShop, SUPER, TGP's, MPG's, META TAGS, META COMMANDS....the list just keeps going.

I am so tired. 1 sale, 2 sales, 10 sales a day....... what does it really matter? Does money really mean a fuck to you? Can you put a price on sanity and happiness? Whats yours?

I wish I has a simple solution. A way to just drop everything and pick up where I left off in my life.


I'm not happy anymore. I dont enjoy things like I use to anymore. Fuck the internet, fuck porn, mainstream......you name it, just fuck it. I use to be a person who cared so much more about so many things. I would wake up and be excited that another day was here, another oppertunity to do something great, or at least something that made me happy.


In all ways, I am lacking the things that make life beautiful. In every way I avoid the truth about my life.

i'm divorced and I'll tell anyone who will listen that i'm better off. Thats a lie. I'm fucking heartbroken, have been since the day we said good bye. It dosent matter that i've taken every oppertunity afforded to me to inconvenience her if she needs something. I'm still very hurt, very heartbroken, and very alone.

I live alone now, from time to time my friend stops over to see that i'm ok, maybe she needs laid, maybe me, depends on the day. The fact is there is no happiness in that. When I really need someone, I really have no one.

i'm a small business owner, irl. I run a construction company. Between the market and the stress of dealing with homeowners who want something for nothing and keeping all my guys on the payroll so they can feed thier familys, I'm running not only thin, but i'm just in the fucking red for this year. After having the business taxes done this year, I have no choice but to get rid of at least two good workers or sell out to my partners, take a loss, and leave them with a mess that they could never fix.


I quit believing in god long ago. I'm sure anyone who's been around 30 years and had my experience would also. I must have also quit believing in myself.


I turn 31 in May. The day will come, and it will pass. I will still be Jason. Just older.


There really is no point to this. It's not an internet suicide note. I'm not looking for help, I really dont think that there is anything I or anyone can do. Not posting my GFY pass and saying fuck it, i'm sure i'll be back. sooner then later, knowing me. Not selling off my sites or content that i've been shooting. I'm just venting, wishing that a good idea would come along.


I'm just fucking tired.......I really dont know what to do anymore, nothing is ever enough.

Later everyone. Thanks for all the help you've given me in the past. Those of you I have worked with, thanks for the cool experiences. Never got scammed, never a complaint. Dont know what I'm going to do now. Dosen't matter either. I'll be back soon, or not.


I'm here until the green light goes out. A smoke and a shot, maybe two. I wish you all luck.

[$5 submissions]

Man, I feel your pain because all of us, at some point in time in our lives, have felt doubt, hopelessness and a sense of meaninglessness. However, it is up to us to use those moments as OPPORTUNITIES to find some purpose/meaning. It isn't the end, just the beginning of something new.

I wish you the best although I know whatever I say can't really address the gnawing feeling you may be experiencing. All I can say is I wish you the best.

Never give up on yourself.

[cybermike]

Hang in there

[Spunky]

I feel your pain in a way.it takes so much patience and perseverance and much dedication.work hard and make money is the American dream but it comes with a price.keep your chin up.it's tough times right now for many people.consider it character building

[CybermedAndy]

Sounds like you trying to extract happiness out of things that ultimately aren't gonna make you happy.. I been through the same thing

Money won't make your anguish dissipate, might help bury it for a bit but its no cure

Try and figure out what your passion is.. we all do things to make $ and better our lives but very few of us actually do what we truly love deep down.. once you got that figured out I think you'll view life much differently

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by $5 submissions

I know whatever I say can't really address the gnawing feeling you may be experiencing. All I can say is I wish you the best.

"Gnawing feeling" is as close to it as you can get.
It's rough. I'm beat with it. I wish I could just shut it off.

[Ozarkz]

It's good to vent.

Do you have kids?

Divorces happen just like breakups.. And it takes time but *you will* get over it.

Just be happy you aren't in Iraq and you are healthy.. and if you don't have kids.. That's enough reason to be happy..

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by Spunky

work hard and make money is the American dream but it comes with a price.

Originally Posted by CybermedAndy

Sounds like you trying to extract happiness out of things that ultimately aren't gonna make you happy.. I been through the same thing

Money won't make your anguish dissipate, might help bury it for a bit but its no cure

Money is not my problem. I have enough.

What money will not buy, can not do, can not save........ That is my problem.

You could put a million dollars on one table, and five dollars on another. Obviously, the million is a bigger stack. It could help me save my company, help my workers feed and cloth thier children..........but to me there is no difference between five dollars and a million. Its paper. Worthless, and will not bring me anything real.

I do like money, but its utterly worthless. It can save my business, my workers...... but it wont do anything for me.

[Ozarkz]

I don't understand these people who have money and say they are tired and unhappy.

Go on a vacation, buy a car, throw a party, bang a whore, etc..

[Redrob]

I have similar feelings even though everyone says I am successful. Someday, I would really like to walk away clean and do something else if I could see a way out.

Best of luck and know you are not alone.

[Mr Pheer]

Take the weekend off and go fishing. Everyone gets burned out.

[moeloubani]

Enroll in a university program full time is good but part time is great too, you'll meet tons of people and you can go into things like business which are relatively easy especially for someone who has already run one. You'll meet tons of people - girls, smart people to talk to and interact with and girls that are worth going the extra mile to please.

The important thing is to switch things up and surround yourself with optimistic people and a university is the best place for that.

[nickey1952]

Dude, do what you love and happiness comes to you, make a canoe, go fishing, lead tours, if you love it and absolutely love it then do it, Happiness will follow;

[Redmanthatcould]

Drugs and alcohol keep wise men sane.

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by Ozarkz

It's good to vent.

Do you have kids?

Divorces happen just like breakups.. And it takes time but *you will* get over it.

Just be happy you aren't in Iraq and you are healthy.. and if you don't have kids.. That's enough reason to be happy..

No children and my divorce has been final for well over a year.

Yes I do have my health, and from time to time something makes me smile.

I just feel like i'm wasting my time. I'm wasting my time and I cant keep promises I made to people I really care about anymore without really putting myself in a very very bad position.

I promised all of them I would live in my car and eat out of trashcans before I let a singe one of them go. I told them all I would do whatever I had to do to make sure that they could relax at night. There is not a thing I can do anymore.

I cant believe I have to do this to them. I cant believe that I have failed like this. I feel so fucking worthless.

[Robbie]

Originally Posted by Ozarkz

Just be happy you aren't in Iraq and you are healthy.

Exactly. It's all relative. Anytime I start feeling sorry for myself I think about how damn good I have it in comparison to many people in this world. You could be one of those starving people in Africa. You could be in the middle of the shitstorm on the Gaza strip. You could be a homeless person right here in the USA.

But you're not. You need to recognize how well off you are in comparison to others and then start working your way back to where you want to be in life.

I'm on wife number 4 and believe me I KNOW how debilitating a divorce can be. And in my experience it's a process that you can't do anything about emotionally. I tried everything, including fucking every woman in town. But it doesn't help.

It will have to run it's course and then one day, out of the blue...you're gonna wake up and be OVER it. Then the rest of your life will start to fall into place.

The trick is to not be too self-destructive in the meantime so that you don't have a big mess to clean up with your life when the time comes that you are emotionally healed.

Good luck bro.

[Ozarkz]

Business is business. You NEED to put yourself and your business first. If that means letting people go. That's too bad for them but it's a fact of life.

[BFT3K]

Maybe it's time to adopt a friendly cat or dog? You may be surprised how much love a rescued pet can give you, and maybe even give you a reason to keep going. Who will take care of your pets if you pull the trigger for example. Maybe an obligatory walk or two a day will help your mental state.

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by Ozarkz

I don't understand these people who have money and say they are tired and unhappy.

Go on a vacation, buy a car, throw a party, bang a whore, etc..

Sorry I quoted your origional post.

Sorry you are under the impression that I can drop my life, jump on my jet and go lay low on my island until everything blows over.

Yes, I have money. Just enough to survive. Not enough to "Go on a vacation, buy a car, throw a party, bang a whore, etc.."

life is so much more then that. No whore or vacation or party is gonna make a fucking difference.

[Fat Panda]

i am still searching for my calling, a true passion if you will. someday I hope i find it. good luck and keep your head up

[NaughtyRob]

Things will get better we all have ups and downs. Hang in there.

[DK]

Hi Jm,
I'd like to talk with you if you have time. I don't see any contact info for you or I would have contacted you. I'm not a shrink or anything but im a great listener with a whole crazy world worth of experiences and stories.
Sometimes to unload on a stranger puts everything back in perspective. Sometimes seeing things from diferent Eyes can re motivate someone.

I'm here if you need someone to talk to is all
icq 242493869

[Ozarkz]

Originally Posted by jmcb420

life is so much more then that. No whore or vacation or party is gonna make a fucking difference.

Yah you are right.

and I understand you have priorities you can't drop.

[Barefootsies]

Hang in there buddy clams.

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by DK

Hi Jm,
I'd like to talk with you if you have time. I don't see any contact info for you or I would have contacted you. I'm not a shrink or anything but im a great listener with a whole crazy world worth of experiences and stories.
Sometimes to unload on a stranger puts everything back in perspective. Sometimes seeing things from diferent Eyes can re motivate someone.

I'm here if you need someone to talk to is all
icq 242493869

Thanks for the offer, but i've already said what I can say.

I'm really upset that I have to tell two very nice, honest, hard working guys that I cant afford to keep them on payroll. I'm really upset thinking about the shit thats gonna happen to them, thier kids and thier living situations.


I really miss my bitch wife at times like these. I could at least get a hug and know that the world was alright im some small way.

[qxm]

this thread is steering in a very dangerous direction .....

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by Ozarkz

Yah you are right.

and I understand you have priorities you can't drop.

Sorry I kinda snapped at you there.

[Tempest]

You have to figure out what TRULY makes you happy in life and then go for that.. Until you do, money, pussy, things, none of it will ever make you more than superficially happy for a short time and you just drift thru life wondering "why". I'm 45 and JUST realizing what I truly love to do and how I'd like to live my life.. Now I just need to make it a reality. So much wasted time... So many empty "good times"...

[Joshua G]

you should quit smoking dope

[Ozarkz]

Originally Posted by jmcb420

Sorry I kinda snapped at you there.

Not at all. Most just call me a "fucking idiot" and give no explanation.

I'm sorry that you have to lay off employees I can imagine the guilt you would feel.

I'm sure you wouldn't be doing it if you didn't think of every possible way to keep them employed.

It's not your fault the economy is fuxed and people aren't spending money.

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by qxm

this thread is steering in a very dangerous direction .....

No its not.

This thread is just another thread.

I'm not the kind to go off and do stupid shit. I'm also not the kind to alert people to the fact that I might do something stupid.

I'm just in a really shitty place in life, and I have to do things I dont want to, and that really hurts me.

But this is just another thread on GFY, it'll be page 2 before you know it, and all but forgotten soon after.

[sandman!]

you need to find yourself a new women once you do you will be happier.

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by Barefootsies

Hang in there buddy clams.

Thanks Footsies. You hang in too, take care of your partner problems and do your thing man.

[mmcfadden]

i woke up at twelve today... then I went back to sleep. Couldn't sleep however and decided to wake up again.

I moved to a strange town outside of philly with my wife. All her family lives in philly, mine in TX, FL, NY, VA

She got pregnant by another guy and I now have the house, my daughter 50/50, and...

I've been sad... but one of these days I think I'm gonna go out and meet some neighbors or something.

[Diezel Jim]

From one of my favorite U2 songs:

If the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got, they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight...

[Barefootsies]

Originally Posted by jmcb420

Thanks Footsies. You hang in too, take care of your partner problems and do your thing man.

Thanks for well wishes.

Almost half eliminated of listed items gone, just waiting on wire in the AM. Trying to close out the second half. Hopefully then I can get papers signed, accounts closed, and start shooting more shit next week.

More than welcome bud. If you ever need to talk, hit me up. ICQ in sig.

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by mmcfadden

i woke up at twelve today... then I went back to sleep. Couldn't sleep however and decided to wake up again.

I moved to a strange town outside of philly with my wife. All her family lives in philly, mine in TX, FL, NY, VA

She got pregnant by another guy and I now have the house, my daughter 50/50, and...

I've been sad... but one of these days I think I'm gonna go out and meet some neighbors or something.

That has to be rough, man. Hard to believe but you will get over it for the most part. But there will always be times, no matter what you do.

I feel for you, bud. Things will get better for you on that level. Take my word for it. Go say hi to the girls next door. Human contact is very important.

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by Barefootsies

Thanks for well wishes.

Almost half eliminated of listed items gone, just waiting on wire in the AM. Trying to close out the second half. Hopefully then I can get papers signed, accounts closed, and start shooting more shit next week.

More than welcome bud. If you ever need to talk, hit me up. ICQ in sig.

Thats a good thing. I really think i'm just gonna hit up my partners in the morning and offer them to buy me out for nothing. I dont have the heart to lay people off, I know the meaning of "laying off" and it means your fucked.

Maybe if i'm not there anymore then something can get worked out and things dont have to be so hard for the guys. I'm just so fucking crushed. This just hurts inside so much. There really is nothing I can do at all.

I know I have to do something, I just dont know what or where to start.

[justinsain]

I worked as a Mason for many years and with one company for 14 years before I moved.

I remember one winter we were really slow and most of the crew was living paycheck to paycheck. The company owner gave us odd jobs to do to help us get by until things picked up again. He had me go to our warehouse and move plank and scaffolding from one side to the other. Another guy did some landscaping around his house and so on. He kept us busy because he cared and it was within his means to be able to do so.

Now here's the important part. Everyone on the crew was VERY appreciative of what the owner did for us and none of us would have found fault in him if he had to let some or all of us go. We would have understood given the situation.

You care for your crew and I'm sure they know that. They all know the current economic situation and will not find fault in you because it's NOT YOUR FAULT. You've done your best and that's all anyone can ask of a person. They will understand.

Keep your head up, keep that door of opportunity open and be there for whatever tomorrow brings.

[DWB]

Brother, you need a reality check.

We've all been down and out at some point in our lives. Be it depression or just in a slump for the time being.

My suggestions:

1) Take a week and visit Cambodia or parts of Africa. Visit the garbage dumps where 1000s of people live and eat right out of the trash. Go see real misery.

Then...

2) Take another week or two and go on a nice vacation. Go do something NEW and outside of your security blanket. Try something new. Find a new hobby. Do something dangerous that makes you feel alive. Reflect on the real misery you have seen and allow yourself to see that whatever you are going through at this moment is nothing and you have it made.

You have taken your life for granted and it's time for a dose of reality to get you back on track.

If that doesn't help, there is always Prozac.

[Iron Fist]

Good luck in your future endeavours!

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by BFT3K

Maybe it's time to adopt a friendly cat or dog? You may be surprised how much love a rescued pet can give you, and maybe even give you a reason to keep going. Who will take care of your pets if you pull the trigger for example. Maybe an obligatory walk or two a day will help your mental state.

I missed this the first time through. wow....just wow.

I'm speechless. Thanks for that.

I've never told anyone this, ever.

Next time, before you post something stupid, read the fucking thread.

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by sharphead

Good luck in your future endeavours!

Thanks much, sharphead.

This is just a bump in the road, i'll be back once i've got some things figured out.

Keep on keepin' on, and i'll be back around soon as I feel right about it.

[BFT3K]

Originally Posted by jmcb420

I missed this the first time through. wow....just wow.

I'm speechless. Thanks for that.

I've never told anyone this, ever.

Next time, before you post something stupid, read the fucking thread.

I was sincerely offering a suggestion.

This post is titled; "I'm fucking tired. I've had enough of this. Fuck this."

Sorry I bothered to join in on someone's narcissistic pity party post.

Who the hell insults someone who has offered a helpful suggestion?

Maybe you are supposed to be alone after all. WTF dude?

[DWB]

Originally Posted by jmcb420

This is just a bump in the road, i'll be back once i've got some things figured out.

This can be a defining moment in your life. This "bump" can drastically change your life in a positive manner should you seize this moment and turn it in the right direction.

Most of my greatest moments have come from when I've hit the biggest bumps in the road. Just be sure to learn from this bump so when you hit another one, and you will, you are better prepared to deal with it.

[jmcb420]

Originally Posted by BFT3K

I was sincerely offering a suggestion.

This post is titled; "I'm fucking tired. I've had enough of this. Fuck this."

Sorry I bothered to join in on someone's narcissistic pity party post.

Who the hell insults someone who has offered a helpful suggestion?

Maybe you are supposed to be alone after all. WTF dude?

Not at any point did I mention pulling a trigger. Yes, I feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry that I have to go back on my word to people that mean the world to me. Yes that was the title of the thread, and inside I fully explained the meaning of the title. I am overwelmed, not killing myself.

I'm sorry if I misunderstood your post, really. I did not mean to insult you. BTW, I have 2 cats. They rock, both rescue animals and I love them dearly. Once again, I'm sorry I misunderstood you.

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

This can be a defining moment in your life. This "bump" can drastically change your life in a positive manner should you seize this moment and turn it in the right direction.

Most of my greatest moments have come from when I've hit the biggest bumps in the road. Just be sure to learn from this bump so when you hit another one, and you will, you are better prepared to deal with it.

Very true, DWB. A much smarter person then myself once said that we often give up just before the greatest things happen, and its always darkest before the light.

The fact is that my life is not over by any means, but just changing in a way that I find hard to take. I've never been the kind to give up or give in, and i'm not. But it is time for a going over and some change. What happens now is up to me, and in spite of what I feel at this moment time will keep going, and what I do now is very important.


Those of you who have come into this thread and shared the good and bad of your lives with me, I thank you. I hope that those of you who are hurting or confused at what to do next find what you need to make good in your situations. I wish you all very well.

I really have nothing more to say right now.

jmcb420
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,331

See Sig
Good Night
Good Luck
and always, GFY.

See you all some other time.

[BFT3K]

Originally Posted by jmcb420

Not at any point did I mention pulling a trigger. Yes, I feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry that I have to go back on my word to people that mean the world to me. Yes that was the title of the thread, and inside I fully explained the meaning of the title. I am overwelmed, not killing myself.

I'm sorry if I misunderstood your post, really. I did not mean to insult you. BTW, I have 2 cats. They rock, both rescue animals and I love them dearly. Once again, I'm sorry I misunderstood you.

That's cool dude. It's all good.

[DWB]

Originally Posted by jmcb420

Very true, DWB. A much smarter person then myself once said that we often give up just before the greatest things happen, and its always darkest before the light.

That's 100% true.

Honestly man, just get away for a while. Change it all up. See where the cards fall.

[MindWaste]

Originally Posted by jmcb420

My friends, G Fuck Yourself.

I'm fucking tired of this shit. HTML, PHP, MySQL, PhotoShop, SUPER, TGP's, MPG's, META TAGS, META COMMANDS....the list just keeps going.

I am so tired. 1 sale, 2 sales, 10 sales a day....... what does it really matter? Does money really mean a fuck to you? Can you put a price on sanity and happiness? Whats yours?

I wish I has a simple solution. A way to just drop everything and pick up where I left off in my life.


I'm not happy anymore. I dont enjoy things like I use to anymore. Fuck the internet, fuck porn, mainstream......you name it, just fuck it. I use to be a person who cared so much more about so many things. I would wake up and be excited that another day was here, another oppertunity to do something great, or at least something that made me happy.


In all ways, I am lacking the things that make life beautiful. In every way I avoid the truth about my life.

i'm divorced and I'll tell anyone who will listen that i'm better off. Thats a lie. I'm fucking heartbroken, have been since the day we said good bye. It dosent matter that i've taken every oppertunity afforded to me to inconvenience her if she needs something. I'm still very hurt, very heartbroken, and very alone.

I live alone now, from time to time my friend stops over to see that i'm ok, maybe she needs laid, maybe me, depends on the day. The fact is there is no happiness in that. When I really need someone, I really have no one.

i'm a small business owner, irl. I run a construction company. Between the market and the stress of dealing with homeowners who want something for nothing and keeping all my guys on the payroll so they can feed thier familys, I'm running not only thin, but i'm just in the fucking red for this year. After having the business taxes done this year, I have no choice but to get rid of at least two good workers or sell out to my partners, take a loss, and leave them with a mess that they could never fix.


I quit believing in god long ago. I'm sure anyone who's been around 30 years and had my experience would also. I must have also quit believing in myself.


I turn 31 in May. The day will come, and it will pass. I will still be Jason. Just older.


There really is no point to this. It's not an internet suicide note. I'm not looking for help, I really dont think that there is anything I or anyone can do. Not posting my GFY pass and saying fuck it, i'm sure i'll be back. sooner then later, knowing me. Not selling off my sites or content that i've been shooting. I'm just venting, wishing that a good idea would come along.


I'm just fucking tired.......I really dont know what to do anymore, nothing is ever enough.

Later everyone. Thanks for all the help you've given me in the past. Those of you I have worked with, thanks for the cool experiences. Never got scammed, never a complaint. Dont know what I'm going to do now. Dosen't matter either. I'll be back soon, or not.


I'm here until the green light goes out. A smoke and a shot, maybe two. I wish you all luck.

become a gangsta rapper. works for me.

[Semi-Retired-Dave]

Hang in there, it happens to everyone. We started our Business with a very small loan from my sister and my mom. We went from not having 20 bucks in our pockets to doing really well for ourselves. I went from a Pinto to a Lambo, We went from 2 guys in an apartment to 80 employees in about 20K Sq Ft. Corporate Office building.

Does it make us happy, Sometimes. Does it add extra stress to our lives, Big Time, But I totally understand what you mean by what does it all mean. Working behind a computer all day then coming home to getting right back on the computer, I think everyone gets burned at some point but somehow come out of it. Some quicker than others. I'm going on 14 years in this business, and yet we are still starting new projects to keep our offices fully staffed.

I've always envied the way people in Europe live, They get to work around 11 AM - Work till around 4, make what they need then enjoy their lives.

We live to work in this country, others work to live.

Hang in there, something will happen soon and this too shall pass. Stay Strong!!!