Affiliate Managers: Post your Funny Affiliate Stories - GoFuckYourself.com

Redmanthatcould · 03-31-2009, 02:28 PM

So I had an affiliate awhile ago that was really interested in pushing us. The affiliate was very clearly new to the business, which is fine by me - those people are the ones that usually take all my advice, and consequently convert better. Anywho...

The affiliate is finally setup with the type of sites they want to push, and are now at the stage of adding us in. They ask me what I would suggest for promo tools to push us, so I say that I'd need to see the site(s), to give the best option. We have a ton of tools - some work for certain sites, while others don't.

Well, the response I got was brilliant. The affiliate responded by attaching the site's files in an email (i.e.: index.html, etc etc), rather than just sending me the URL. Guess I should have specified what I meant by seeing the site.

What are your funny stories?

BradM · 03-31-2009, 02:31 PM

I had an Indian affiliate call in to talk to us. Yen answered but he REFUSED to speak to a woman and became unheard of enraged by the fact she answered the phone.

When I talked to him he turned out to be a moron.

Oh, that was annoying not funny. Oh well.

bobby666 · 03-31-2009, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VS_Jeff

So I had an affiliate awhile ago that was really interested in pushing us. The affiliate was very clearly new to the business, which is fine by me - those people are the ones that usually take all my advice, and consequently convert better. Anywho...

The affiliate is finally setup with the type of sites they want to push, and are now at the stage of adding us in. They ask me what I would suggest for promo tools to push us, so I say that I'd need to see the site(s), to give the best option. We have a ton of tools - some work for certain sites, while others don't.

Well, the response I got was brilliant. The affiliate responded by attaching the site's files in an email (i.e.: index.html, etc etc), rather than just sending me the URL. Guess I should have specified what I meant by seeing the site.

What are your funny stories?

haha, i am shure he came along from this board

munki · 03-31-2009, 03:46 PM

I had a review site affiliate sales rep hit me up once asking why he was getting shit conversions from an old network I was working, with his "golden review site traffic".

I checked over his ref logs, and the sites and reviews he had been sending us traffic from. Responded back that his reviewer had completely in every shape, way, and form slammed our network, refusing to point out any positives, or use even remotely sales oriented text, and also had unbelievably horrible english write up skills for a text driven review site.

He responded back that the user base of his site relied upon consistent honest opinions.

I agreed and proceeded to show him reviews from a few other networks that had both pointed out our flaws, and strong points, that had been seeing consistent sales from us.

A few changes we're made on his end with expanded information and proper english, and sales picked up immediately, even with negative information I would've preferred not to have seen... Can't win em all, but you can always keep it sales oriented.

casinojack · 03-31-2009, 03:51 PM

I had an affiliate not use his tracking code for a month and claim he sent me at least 100 players,and i should pay him anyways. I asked him how he knew this, and explained to me he is a very technical, professional, business man. I asked him how he forgot his tracking code then, and he told me he was technical, but not with computers.

american pervert · 03-31-2009, 04:09 PM

I worked for this one company YEARS ago, and when they would find a surfer who was whale they would change the mp/tracking code to 0000 (the house acct).

funny stuff!

Sin · 03-31-2009, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by casinojack

I had an affiliate not use his tracking code for a month and claim he sent me at least 100 players,and i should pay him anyways. I asked him how he knew this, and explained to me he is a very technical, professional, business man. I asked him how he forgot his tracking code then, and he told me he was technical, but not with computers.

Nice...

BradM · 03-31-2009, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by american pervert

I worked for this one company YEARS ago, and when they would find a surfer who was whale they would change the mp/tracking code to 0000 (the house acct).

funny stuff!

awesome!

nation-x · 03-31-2009, 04:13 PM

do you think we should start a thread with stupid affiliate rep stories? :D Believe me... there are lots of them.

Ron2k1 · 03-31-2009, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nation-x

do you think we should start a thread with stupid affiliate rep stories? :D Believe me... there are lots of them.

I was thinking the same, would be a lot of more fun

dav3 · 03-31-2009, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by american pervert

I worked for this one company YEARS ago, and when they would find a surfer who was whale they would change the mp/tracking code to 0000 (the house acct).

funny stuff!

wow, thats fucked up

hopefully shit like this doesnt happen still...

Meeper · 03-31-2009, 05:18 PM

Haha that was a good one. I think I have a pretty decent one too.

As I'm sure you're aware, Hustler gets a lot of business proposals from different types of people, from different areas of expertise. I received an actual letter (hand written, covered with plastic, with an actual picture of the author poorly pasted onto the first page) with a very interesting business proposition for us. He had done a "lot of research and observation" of the porn industry, and had miraculously stumbled onto a great new "brand" name that we HAD to be a part of (which he vigorously explained to us in his 4 page report). In this masterpiece of a business proposal we were being pitched to purchase the domain mcporn.com (and all 20 misspellings of it), to get our brand recognized. Needless to say we JUMPED at that offer.

blogman9 · 04-02-2009, 02:45 AM

bump for greate thread.

Sarah_Jayne · 04-02-2009, 03:46 AM

This week it is the guys that don't know how to bcc and cc in a bunch of programs at the same time offering us all an 'exclusive' deal.

JimmiDean · 04-02-2009, 03:51 AM

Where its says insert your affilaite code here what do I put in ?
Built one guy custom page peel add banners and FLV for his site, said he stoped using us as we did not convert.
My stats say he had one banner up for one day got 12 hits and no sale.
I am now working on a 1-12 conversion site to get him back.

NickB. · 04-02-2009, 04:15 AM

hahhahh I thought a man how to build and submit galleries the guy ended up doing over 10 joins a day steady with us.... amen!

NickB. · 04-02-2009, 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah_MaxCash

This week it is the guys that don't know how to bcc and cc in a bunch of programs at the same time offering us all an 'exclusive' deal.

lol classic

03-31-2009, 02:28 PM	#1
Redmanthatcould Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,771	Affiliate Managers: Post your Funny Affiliate Stories So I had an affiliate awhile ago that was really interested in pushing us. The affiliate was very clearly new to the business, which is fine by me - those people are the ones that usually take all my advice, and consequently convert better. Anywho... The affiliate is finally setup with the type of sites they want to push, and are now at the stage of adding us in. They ask me what I would suggest for promo tools to push us, so I say that I'd need to see the site(s), to give the best option. We have a ton of tools - some work for certain sites, while others don't. Well, the response I got was brilliant. The affiliate responded by attaching the site's files in an email (i.e.: index.html, etc etc), rather than just sending me the URL. Guess I should have specified what I meant by seeing the site. What are your funny stories?

03-31-2009, 03:46 PM	#4
munki Do Fun Shit. Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: OC Posts: 13,393	I had a review site affiliate sales rep hit me up once asking why he was getting shit conversions from an old network I was working, with his "golden review site traffic". I checked over his ref logs, and the sites and reviews he had been sending us traffic from. Responded back that his reviewer had completely in every shape, way, and form slammed our network, refusing to point out any positives, or use even remotely sales oriented text, and also had unbelievably horrible english write up skills for a text driven review site. He responded back that the user base of his site relied upon consistent honest opinions. I agreed and proceeded to show him reviews from a few other networks that had both pointed out our flaws, and strong points, that had been seeing consistent sales from us. A few changes we're made on his end with expanded information and proper english, and sales picked up immediately, even with negative information I would've preferred not to have seen... Can't win em all, but you can always keep it sales oriented. __________________ “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde

03-31-2009, 03:51 PM	#5
casinojack Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Under your bed Posts: 137	I had an affiliate not use his tracking code for a month and claim he sent me at least 100 players,and i should pay him anyways. I asked him how he knew this, and explained to me he is a very technical, professional, business man. I asked him how he forgot his tracking code then, and he told me he was technical, but not with computers. __________________ ICQ: 469414299 MSN: casinojack[AT]live.com Email: casinojack[AT]affcorner.com Casino Affiliate Program that helps ADULT webmasters

03-31-2009, 04:09 PM	#6
american pervert Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 6,830	I worked for this one company YEARS ago, and when they would find a surfer who was whale they would change the mp/tracking code to 0000 (the house acct). funny stuff! __________________ I can resist everything except temptation

03-31-2009, 05:18 PM	#12
Meeper Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Beverly Hills, CA Posts: 2,642	Haha that was a good one. I think I have a pretty decent one too. As I'm sure you're aware, Hustler gets a lot of business proposals from different types of people, from different areas of expertise. I received an actual letter (hand written, covered with plastic, with an actual picture of the author poorly pasted onto the first page) with a very interesting business proposition for us. He had done a "lot of research and observation" of the porn industry, and had miraculously stumbled onto a great new "brand" name that we HAD to be a part of (which he vigorously explained to us in his 4 page report). In this masterpiece of a business proposal we were being pitched to purchase the domain mcporn.com (and all 20 misspellings of it), to get our brand recognized. Needless to say we JUMPED at that offer. __________________ *Nick "Meeper"* Amoroso [SIZE="1"] Hustler.com / BarelyLegal.com / HustlersReviews.com / HustlerTube.com / HustlerShare.com**

03-31-2009, 02:31 PM	#2
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	I had an Indian affiliate call in to talk to us. Yen answered but he REFUSED to speak to a woman and became unheard of enraged by the fact she answered the phone. When I talked to him he turned out to be a moron. Oh, that was annoying not funny. Oh well.

03-31-2009, 04:13 PM	#9
nation-x Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Rock Hill, SC Posts: 5,370	do you think we should start a thread with stupid affiliate rep stories? :D Believe me... there are lots of them.

04-02-2009, 02:45 AM	#13
blogman9 Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,261	bump for greate thread. __________________ Adult industry news

04-02-2009, 03:46 AM	#14
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	This week it is the guys that don't know how to bcc and cc in a bunch of programs at the same time offering us all an 'exclusive' deal.

04-02-2009, 03:51 AM	#15
JimmiDean Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Margarittaville Posts: 3,433	Where its says insert your affilaite code here what do I put in ? Built one guy custom page peel add banners and FLV for his site, said he stoped using us as we did not convert. My stats say he had one banner up for one day got 12 hits and no sale. I am now working on a 1-12 conversion site to get him back. __________________ My God there's Porn on here! Still on the Beach !!!

04-02-2009, 04:15 AM	#16
NickB. Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 8,855	hahhahh I thought a man how to build and submit galleries the guy ended up doing over 10 joins a day steady with us.... amen!