Joe Franics - Pay your fucking bills! - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

Scootermuze · 04-18-2008, 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gordon G

I love Joe Francis, he has balls unlike many of you keyboard warriors here.

Ya mean the guy that cried like a baby when they tossed him in the pokey?

Massive balls indeed...

Other then that, it doesn't take balls to be an idiot..

sicone · 04-18-2008, 03:03 AM

Is it true.. that Joe Francis did more time for what he's been charged (not convicted of) so far then the dude who raped him on tape and released it too all the rich white folks that live on his block???

Is it?

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 04-18-2008, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by After Shock Media

Where has he shown he has balls?

Aside from the little video of him that was made.

Interesting to see what people have to say about Joe...

When will Joe's celebrity sex tape surface?

Quote:

Where to begin...How about with the pink dildo lodged in Francis' crack?

The videotape on the screen in front of me is stark, grainy. The color is garish, almost fluorescent, possibly from too many generations of loosely authorized copying. A shirtless male figure lies face down on a mattress, his head resting on a pillow. His eyes flutter at half-mast.

His mouth is puddled in a stuporous grin, and he looks very, very high. The camera pans to reveal his pants dragged down around his knees and a pink vibrator resting on the crest of his buttocks, lazily gyrating with an irritating whine.

The mood is hardly erotic. The man on the screen looks like a hostage in one of those videos streaming out of war-ravaged Iraq: disheveled, sleep-deprived, disoriented, and, just maybe, fearing something on the order of an on-camera beheading. My name is Joe Francis, he says repeatedly in a damaged monotone, slurring his words in a continuous stream. I'm from Boys Gone Wild, and I like it up the ass.

And about his name-dropping on the Stern show that backfired on him...

Quote:

Serial rapist and child pornographer Joe Francis, the gajillionaire smut peddler behind the Girls Gone Wild videos, called into the Howard Stern show yesterday to discuss the lawsuit Paris Hilton has pending against the purveyors of the ParisExposed.com website. (Sadly, no longer available - I want my money back.) Francis attempted to be outraged by the invasion of privacy.

Editor's note: Francis is prominently featured in the Hilton videos, frequently attempting to fondle Paris and often being shutdown. He is also credited on film with supplying a chestful of coke.

Howard Stern, bored with all the posturing and BS, did what he does best and easily led the loopy-sounding Francis into discussing celebrity poontang.

Francis, always the gentleman and a total class act, was happy to dish about the ladies he's "supposedly" bedded. I use the term "ladies" here real loosely, it just seemed nicer than "gaping holes." Among the names Francis dropped were Lindsay Lohan, Kimberly Stewart, Tara Reid, and the ubiquitous Paris Hilton. It's like a who's who from the skeevie ho hall of fame. Here's a synopsis of the conversation:

Paris Hilton gave the best "oral favors." (I've seen video and I object to this claim! I OBJECT!)

Tara Reid was the "worst" in bed. When asked to elaborate, all Francis could muster was "...well I only used protection with her, so maybe that made it less pleasurable...."

Stern pressed for more details with creative questions like, "So she just laid there?" and apparently some other really gross insinuations that self-respecting news outlets refuse to print (losers), Joe responded, "More or less, yeah."

Francis also went on record with this tasteful comment, "Well I don't plan on having sex with Paris again, especially after seeing the medical documents on the site." We're assuming this is in reference to Paris Hilton's prescriptions for Valtrex, one of the many savory items seized in the auction free-for-all.
Oh whatever, like he isn't some kind of walking STD experiment the government is conducting for use as a weapon of penile destruction.

What does all this mean? Well, being the math genius that I am ? for reals, I have ribbons and stuff ? I am going to present you kids with a math equation to unravel the riddle.

A = Joe Francis having unprotected sex

B = Paris Hilton

C = Lindsay Lohan

D = Kimberly Stewart

E = Tara Reid - this is represented by (E?) because there is the "unknown factor" of condom-less penetration, but we all know Joe Francis is a liar, but we still have to go with the "unknown" quotient.

F= Joe's penis

A + B + C+ D+(E?)x F= G

G=Superstrain of Herpehivitisavianebolacoli

Apply the Olsen Law of Corollary Theorem ? and the only conclusion is G=H and H= Joe Francis hates his penis and is trying to make it fall off.

A surgical tool would be faster and there are probably thousands of women who would cheerfully assist him in his endeavor.

Class dismissed.

ADG

sicone · 04-18-2008, 03:08 AM

Darnell Riley anyone????????

HA HA HA HA BITCH

DWB · 04-18-2008, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sicone

Do you mean the video that was shown in court of him getting fucked in the ass with a dildo saying how he took advantage of people

That be the one.

spunkmister · 04-18-2008, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Interesting to see what people have to say about Joe...

When will Joe's celebrity sex tape surface?

And about his name-dropping on the Stern show that backfired on him...

ADG

I did the math again, and rechecked with MIT..it's correct.

sicone · 04-18-2008, 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

That be the one.

again I ask....

Darnell Riley anyone????????

MasterBlow · 04-18-2008, 03:24 AM

first you recommended GGW and now have some problems with them? great partnership. move their banner from your sig

spunkmister · 04-18-2008, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MasterBlow

first you recommended GGW and now have some problems with them? great partnership. move their banner from your sig

didn't you hear? he got paid so he's back to pushing them again....it's nice that companies are willing to send over free Swag just so you will still keep promoting them even when they havn't paid you...

MasterBlow · 04-18-2008, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spunkmister

didn't you hear? he got paid so he's back to pushing them again....it's nice that companies are willing to send over free Swag just so you will still keep promoting them even when they havn't paid you...

I've heard what he said,but GGW is really fucked. how many webmasters promoting them? ha...

sicone · 04-18-2008, 03:34 AM

tax write off rules... especially when you are trying to prove to the government just how broke you might be....

the things that make you go hmmmmm

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 04-18-2008, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sicone

tax write off rules... especially when you are trying to prove to the government just how broke you might be....

the things that make you go hmmmmm

Joe Francis and Paris Hilton are apparently in competition to see who is most obnoxious celebrity D-List'er:

Quote:

In case you didn't know, a while back Paris failed to pay a $200 bill for a storage locker containing all sorts of shit, from pictures of her doing drugs to her fake IDs to old prescriptions, resulting in it being sold at public auction.

Somebody bought all the old crap, spent ample time delousing it, and started this website, parisexposed.com, where you could access all of it. It's now shut down, either due to legal tangles or due to a lack of public interest in paying $40 for the privilege of seeing her dirty laundry.

However, the damage has been done. The internets are still full of evidence that confirms what everyone has suspected for years: Paris Hilton is a dumb, fucked-up, herpes-ridden whore.

For example, her blatant rebellion against this particular elevator's non-smoking mandate.

Well, it's blatant rebellion or a misunderstanding of the sign consequent to her limited literacy. It's possible she thought the sign either forbade only cigarette smoking, or encouraged packing your blown glass bowl rather than rolling up a doobie.

There is also an interesting series of photographs featuring Paris's friend with a mountain of cocaine on his chest. He must need all that snow to cool down because he's SO HOT. Brace yourself, ladies, because he is a looker:

Here is Paris letting Girls Gone Wild mogul and world-class douche Joe Francis fondle her boob (presumably as a prelude to an unrestrained exchange of various STDs between the two):

[Been there, saw that]

And let's not ignore the piece de resistance garnered from her storage facility, this video where Paris sings "I'm an ugly Jewish bitch", "I'm a little JAP-y Jew", "I'm a little black whore, I got fucked in the butt for coke," and of course the simple but straight to the point, "I'm a hahahahahaha and I steal shit, I'm black and I steal, yo." That's the true mark of Paris's high society upbringing: she's classy AND racially sensitive!

[YIKES!!!]

Well, Paris realized that maybe not ALL publicity is good publicity, because her PR guy has been on the offensive ever since about any material that so much as hints that Paris might be mentally retarded/bigoted/slutty/diseased/coked up/pick your derogatory description. Recently, Gallery of the Absurd made this brilliant poster as a spoof of the upcoming season of "The Simple Life:"

After this was posted on Dlisted, Paris's lawyer fired off a command to remove the poster from the internets, saying, "This poster clearly implies Ms. Hilton has loathsome diseases and also implies Ms. Hilton uses Vicodin. The inferences are false and defamatory."

Ummm...false? She doesn't use Vicodin? Then I'd like to hear her explanation for this:

And she doesn't have "loathsome diseases"? Then why is the bitch filling scrips for Valtrex? I've never seen her afflicted with herpes zoster (shingles), so the only other conceivable reason to take Valtrex is GENITAL HERPES.

Clearly Tina Fey wasn't kidding when she bitched to Howard Stern a while back that Paris has no sense of humor about herself and is an unprofessional "piece of shit." You don't hear Nicole Richie's people flipping out about this (possibly because her Vicodin use is a matter of public record and she'll undoubtedly experience some killer PMS while off at Simple Life camp).

Nor do you hear Brandon Davis's people complaining that this poster implies that he lets beavers suckle his man-tits. Paris's lawyers clearly need to go back to their correspondence course at DeVry and brush up on what "defamation" really is. You can't defame somebody unless you're presenting lies about them as fact. It's not a lie that Paris has herpes, or that she was prescribed Vicodin, or that "The Simple Life" is a tightly scripted "reality" show (designed to induce suicide by viewers), and if you Google "Paris Hilton vagina" there are approximately 1,480,000 hits (including a very amusing and accurate site asserting that "Paris Hilton's vagina looks like sun-dried dog food").

Furthermore, the poster is obviously a parody. If people could sue every time somebody made fun of them, the internets would be a much less interesting place, "Saturday Night Live" would have been cancelled long ago, and I would never be able to speak or type a single damn word. Who the hell does Paris Hilton think she is that her recently developed apparent sense of shame can override the First Fucking Amendment? Not that my site gets enough traffic to pop up on Paris's lawyers' radar, but on the off chance I receive some kind of "cease and desist" e-mail from them, let me just say that I am not scared about fighting charges of slander from a woman whose overwhelming dignity, intelligence, and sophistication precipitates pictures of her naked, coked out her mind, and smoking a tampon:

Bring it, you cunt-faced, lazy-eyed, fake-haired, herpes-spreading, racist waste of oxygen.

ADG

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 04-18-2008, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sicone

Is it true.. that Joe Francis did more time for what he's been charged (not convicted of) so far then the dude who raped him on tape and released it too all the rich white folks that live on his block???

Is it?

The guy that assaulted Joe Francis received a sentence of over 10 years. Also, according to what I read, Francis was not actually raped:

Quote:

LOS ANGELES ? The man accused of breaking into the Bel Air mansion of Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis and forcing him at gunpoint to make a sexually provocative videotape pleaded guilty Tuesday to robbery and extortion and was sentenced to almost 11 years in prison.

The intruder, Darnell Riley, 28, previously denied the charges, but admitted Tuesday that he broke into Francis' home on Jan. 22, 2004. He also conceded the special allegation of using a firearm and was sentenced to 10 years and eight months in state prison.

In return for his plea deal, additional counts of burglary, kidnapping for ransom and carjacking were dismissed.

"He decided to take the plea because the D.A. dismissed two charges that carried two life sentences," Riley's attorney Ronald Richards told Courttv.com. "I think that, based on the severity of the charges, this was a good resolution for him."

Francis, 33, testified about his harrowing hours-long ordeal at a preliminary hearing in December. He said that Riley tied him up, forced him at gunpoint to lie on his own bed and be filmed, put duct tape over his mouth, and drove him a short distance in Francis' Bentley before releasing him.

Cash, Louis Vuitton luggage, a Rolex watch, and an original Picasso sketch, were among the items Francis claims were robbed from his home.

"The greater part of the story was the fact that this guy was extorting me for $500,000. It became ridiculous," Francis told Courttv.com.

Riley allegedly threatened to distribute the videotape on the Internet if Francis did not pay him. Francis said Riley first asked for $100,000, then upped the price to $300,000 and $500,000.

The tape, according to several sources, depicts Francis lying facedown on his bed with his pants down and a pink vibrator resting on his buttocks. "My name is Joe Francis. I'm from Boys Gone Wild, and I like it up the ass," Francis says in the video.

ADG

SizeMatters · 04-18-2008, 12:16 PM

weren't you just bragging how awesome GGW is?

DeadFidel · 04-18-2008, 12:25 PM

From Joe's people:

" He is too busy to make a stament to this thread, but he sends you love."

Jens Van Assterdam · 04-18-2008, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SizeMatters

weren't you just bragging how awesome GGW is?

and it still is..

spunkmister · 04-18-2008, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeadFidel

From Joe's people:

" He is too busy to make a stament to this thread, but he sends you love."

that guy has the most nervous looking smile.

Loryn · 04-18-2008, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spunkmister

that guy has the most nervous looking smile.

Looks more to me like he doesn't like his smile, or he doesn?t like to smile. Or maybe when he was younger he didn't have great teeth so that made his smile uncomfortable. Either way, I feel it too.

Miguel T · 04-18-2008, 01:11 PM

So... have you got paid yet?

Jens Van Assterdam · 04-18-2008, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AbsolutePorn

So... have you got paid yet?

YES

payd2purv · 04-18-2008, 01:13 PM

I can't help but laugh when people judge celebrities.

spunkmister · 04-18-2008, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by payd2purv

I can't help but laugh when people judge celebrities.

"celebrites" are in the limelight, so of course people will judge them...and just like whether you are an unknown person or superstar you get judged by your actions, and in this case his recent actions are bringing more negative light to this entire industry

DeadFidel · 04-18-2008, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Machete Rodriguez

YES

The power of GFY is silly funny

spunkmister · 04-18-2008, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeadFidel

The power of GFY is silly funny

they sent him free stuff way before he got paid for sending them sales...thats a sign of a top notch company...keep the affiliates happy by sending them some t-shirts with the company logo on it, that way they wont care that we havnt paid them for the last couple of pay periods...good business I say.

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 04-18-2008, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeadFidel

The power of GFY is silly funny

ADG

DaddyHalbucks · 04-18-2008, 03:06 PM

Glad it worked out.

NinjaSteve · 04-19-2008, 03:38 AM

hooray for being paid

DWB · 04-19-2008, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by payd2purv

I can't help but laugh when people judge celebrities.

That guy is hardly a celebrity. Though even if he was, why do you laugh when people judge others who take advantage of minors, drunk minors, rape women, doesn't pay taxes and is an overall shit head?

The guy is a dirt bag. End of story.

04-18-2008, 03:03 AM	#52
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	Is it true.. that Joe Francis did more time for what he's been charged (not convicted of) so far then the dude who raped him on tape and released it too all the rich white folks that live on his block??? Is it? __________________

04-18-2008, 03:08 AM	#54
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	Darnell Riley anyone???????? HA HA HA HA BITCH __________________

04-18-2008, 03:24 AM	#58
MasterBlow Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Earth Posts: 2,059	first you recommended GGW and now have some problems with them? great partnership. move their banner from your sig __________________

04-18-2008, 03:34 AM	#61
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	tax write off rules... especially when you are trying to prove to the government just how broke you might be.... the things that make you go hmmmmm __________________

04-18-2008, 01:11 PM	#69
Miguel T ♦ Web Developer ♦ Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Full-Stack Developer Posts: 12,472	So... have you got paid yet? __________________ Full Stack Webdeveloper: HTML5/CSS3, jQuery, AJAX, ElevatedX, NATS, MechBunny, Wordpress

04-18-2008, 12:16 PM	#64
SizeMatters Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 138	weren't you just bragging how awesome GGW is?

04-18-2008, 12:25 PM	#65
DeadFidel Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: This was my wife circa 2002 Posts: 6,760	From Joe's people: " He is too busy to make a stament to this thread, but he sends you love."

04-18-2008, 01:13 PM	#71
payd2purv Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Toronto Posts: 2,727	I can't help but laugh when people judge celebrities. __________________

04-18-2008, 03:06 PM	#76
DaddyHalbucks A freakin' legend! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada USA Posts: 18,975	Glad it worked out. __________________ Boner Money

04-19-2008, 03:38 AM	#77
NinjaSteve Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 11,089	hooray for being paid __________________ ...