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Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 38,323
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sicone
tax write off rules... especially when you are trying to prove to the government just how broke you might be....
the things that make you go hmmmmm
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Joe Francis and Paris Hilton are apparently in competition to see who is most obnoxious celebrity D-List'er:
Quote:
In case you didn't know, a while back Paris failed to pay a $200 bill for a storage locker containing all sorts of shit, from pictures of her doing drugs to her fake IDs to old prescriptions, resulting in it being sold at public auction.
Somebody bought all the old crap, spent ample time delousing it, and started this website, parisexposed.com, where you could access all of it. It's now shut down, either due to legal tangles or due to a lack of public interest in paying $40 for the privilege of seeing her dirty laundry.
However, the damage has been done. The internets are still full of evidence that confirms what everyone has suspected for years: Paris Hilton is a dumb, fucked-up, herpes-ridden whore.
For example, her blatant rebellion against this particular elevator's non-smoking mandate.
Well, it's blatant rebellion or a misunderstanding of the sign consequent to her limited literacy. It's possible she thought the sign either forbade only cigarette smoking, or encouraged packing your blown glass bowl rather than rolling up a doobie.
There is also an interesting series of photographs featuring Paris's friend with a mountain of cocaine on his chest. He must need all that snow to cool down because he's SO HOT. Brace yourself, ladies, because he is a looker:
Here is Paris letting Girls Gone Wild mogul and world-class douche Joe Francis fondle her boob (presumably as a prelude to an unrestrained exchange of various STDs between the two):
[Been there, saw that]
And let's not ignore the piece de resistance garnered from her storage facility, this video where Paris sings "I'm an ugly Jewish bitch", "I'm a little JAP-y Jew", "I'm a little black whore, I got fucked in the butt for coke," and of course the simple but straight to the point, "I'm a hahahahahaha and I steal shit, I'm black and I steal, yo." That's the true mark of Paris's high society upbringing: she's classy AND racially sensitive!
[YIKES!!!]
Well, Paris realized that maybe not ALL publicity is good publicity, because her PR guy has been on the offensive ever since about any material that so much as hints that Paris might be mentally retarded/bigoted/slutty/diseased/coked up/pick your derogatory description. Recently, Gallery of the Absurd made this brilliant poster as a spoof of the upcoming season of "The Simple Life:"
After this was posted on Dlisted, Paris's lawyer fired off a command to remove the poster from the internets, saying, "This poster clearly implies Ms. Hilton has loathsome diseases and also implies Ms. Hilton uses Vicodin. The inferences are false and defamatory."
Ummm...false? She doesn't use Vicodin? Then I'd like to hear her explanation for this:
And she doesn't have "loathsome diseases"? Then why is the bitch filling scrips for Valtrex? I've never seen her afflicted with herpes zoster (shingles), so the only other conceivable reason to take Valtrex is GENITAL HERPES.
Clearly Tina Fey wasn't kidding when she bitched to Howard Stern a while back that Paris has no sense of humor about herself and is an unprofessional "piece of shit." You don't hear Nicole Richie's people flipping out about this (possibly because her Vicodin use is a matter of public record and she'll undoubtedly experience some killer PMS while off at Simple Life camp).
Nor do you hear Brandon Davis's people complaining that this poster implies that he lets beavers suckle his man-tits. Paris's lawyers clearly need to go back to their correspondence course at DeVry and brush up on what "defamation" really is. You can't defame somebody unless you're presenting lies about them as fact. It's not a lie that Paris has herpes, or that she was prescribed Vicodin, or that "The Simple Life" is a tightly scripted "reality" show (designed to induce suicide by viewers), and if you Google "Paris Hilton vagina" there are approximately 1,480,000 hits (including a very amusing and accurate site asserting that "Paris Hilton's vagina looks like sun-dried dog food").
Furthermore, the poster is obviously a parody. If people could sue every time somebody made fun of them, the internets would be a much less interesting place, "Saturday Night Live" would have been cancelled long ago, and I would never be able to speak or type a single damn word. Who the hell does Paris Hilton think she is that her recently developed apparent sense of shame can override the First Fucking Amendment? Not that my site gets enough traffic to pop up on Paris's lawyers' radar, but on the off chance I receive some kind of "cease and desist" e-mail from them, let me just say that I am not scared about fighting charges of slander from a woman whose overwhelming dignity, intelligence, and sophistication precipitates pictures of her naked, coked out her mind, and smoking a tampon:
Bring it, you cunt-faced, lazy-eyed, fake-haired, herpes-spreading, racist waste of oxygen.
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