PHX FORUM ATTENDEES: Reward for Safe Return of Spike - GoFuckYourself.com

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 02:55 PM

I think my pet box turtle Spike was traumitized by the flight - he seems to have run away (I hope he wasn't turtle-naped or something...so far no ransom note, so I assume he just wandered off).

Although he is frisky for a turtle, he doesn't bite, and Spike is attracted to tequila, especially when it is mixed into a margarita, although please note that Spike doesn't like salt.

If you find Spike, please turn him in at the Front Desk of the hotel. I have instructed the Staff to give the rescuer an envelope with a nice $ reward, no questions asked.

Thanks!

ADG

Socks · 03-25-2008, 03:07 PM

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 04:31 PM

Are you threatening my turtle?!?

ADG

seeric · 03-25-2008, 04:35 PM

you are serious arent you?

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A1R3K

you are serious arent you?

I just hope that the little fella doesn't get dehydrated or becomes dinner for an armadillo before I can find him.

If everyone could please just take a few minutes to look around (and be careful not to step on Spike), I would really appreciate it.

Still no word at the Front Desk. If you notice the maids looking under beds and furniture when they are cleaning up, you'll know why.

ADG

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 05:49 PM

I cut and pasted this from another thread...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chio

Click him

At first I thought Chio was mocking me and my plight, but then I clicked on the link and got some good ideas...Thanks Chio!!!

Quote:

Leave a shallow bowl of water with food (a smelly food like tuna may be more effective) incase your turtle comes across it.

Fortunately, I brought along a few cans of Spike's favorite food, so I'll spread some around and see if that draws him out...

If you happen to see a few teaspoons of Fish Assholes spread around near your room, do not be alarmed, and please do not clean it up. Spike's rescue may depend upon your help.

ADG

Mutt · 03-25-2008, 07:19 PM

wtf? you travel with a turtle?

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mutt

wtf? you travel with a turtle?

Why not? You think it's more humane for me to check Spike into a turtle kennel or something?

I once had a neighbor turtle-sit for Spike when I was away, and when I returned he was very withdrawn and didn't want to come out of his shell for a few days - I suspect he may have been molested.

Besides, Spike usually likes to travel, and he is a solid gold chick magnet. The babes all want to pet him and get their pictures taken with him.

And the dudes get a kick out of giving him a small shot of tequila and then laying Spike on his back and spinning him around. I'm telling you, Spike is a party animal.

Anyway, I still haven't seen him yet, and I've searched everywhere. This isn't like him to roam too far. I'm beginning to suspect foul play...

BTW, I have doubled the reward.

ADG

Jace · 03-25-2008, 08:04 PM

omfg, this thread ROCKS

it might possibly go down as one of the better gfy threads in a LONG time

papill0n · 03-25-2008, 08:05 PM

Hope you get your turtle back ADG.

BusterBunny · 03-25-2008, 08:07 PM

have you checked juicy's ass? many reptiles and amphibians make there way there during their annual migration

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RageCash-Ben

Hope you get your turtle back ADG.

Thanks man!

The folks at the Registration Desk are going to put up a poster, and I'm thinking to have a candlelight vigil if he doesn't show up by tomorrow night.

I spoke to Senator John McCain's office, and they said that the Senator was too busy to get personally involved just yet, but they offered their condolensces and told me to keep up hope...

ADG

tony286 · 03-25-2008, 08:18 PM

if its real i hope u get it back.

quantum-x · 03-25-2008, 08:19 PM

My turtle used to fuck off regularly.
His favourite spot was under the couch, where he;d curl up and go to sleep.
Search under the sofa!

ProjectNaked · 03-25-2008, 08:20 PM

BusterBunny · 03-25-2008, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProjectNaked

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BusterBunny

have you checked juicy's ass? many reptiles and amphibians make there way there during their annual migration

Haha, very funny...Spike is NOT gay, and he's afraid of dark places.

Just the thought of what you suggested sent shivers up and down my spine, sort of like Silence of the Turtles. Richard Gere wouldn't do something so heinous with his anus.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony404

if its real i hope u get it back.

If you're real, I hope you get it back too!

My nerves are getting shot. If you are are a pet lover, and I know you are Tony, you will know how I feel.

When I was in the lounge taking a break, an old song by the band The Turtles came on - it was titled "So Happy Together". I nearly cried in my Bacardi and Diet Coke.

Well, I need to get back searching...Spike needs me...

ADG

D · 03-25-2008, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Haha, very funny...Spike is NOT gay, and he's afraid of dark places.

Who said it would be the turtle's choice?

Note the rust-colored section in the following Pie Chart:

munki · 03-25-2008, 09:22 PM

Wasn't somebody hosting an intervention at the Forum?

Check the local rehabs, maybe Spike was the unlucky addict???

BusterBunny · 03-25-2008, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D

Who said it would be the turtle's choice?

Note the rust-colored section in the following Pie Chart:

i'm surprised he hasn't eaten that yet

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quantum-x

My turtle used to fuck off regularly.
His favourite spot was under the couch, where he;d curl up and go to sleep.
Search under the sofa!

Under the sofa was my first guess too, so I turned on "Law and Order" (Spike's favorite show) real loud...nothing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProjectNaked

Bet you didn't know that J. Edgar Hoover kept a turtle in a cigar box in his office. I'm sure the FBI agents that I forwarded your extortion threat to will fill you in on that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by D

Who said it would be the turtle's choice?

Note the rust-colored section in the following Pie Chart:

Looks like rust never sleeps...

I noticed a flaw in the chart. When did Juicy get time to do 100k posts?

I swear I am going to get a GPS chip planted in that turtle once I get him back.

ADG

Socks · 03-25-2008, 09:48 PM

Makingcoin · 03-25-2008, 10:03 PM

Holy fuck this thread is great, do you have your guy microchipped? :P

Camco · 03-25-2008, 10:08 PM

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by munki

Wasn't somebody hosting an intervention at the Forum?

Check the local rehabs, maybe Spike was the unlucky addict???

Spike quit using after he had a bad trip a few years ago. I don't think he has relapsed. If I was a betting man, I would say that XXXJay is the one being set up for an intervention, although if you tried to remove all of the drugs from his system, you would probably kill him - I say leave him alone, afterall, Keith Richards is still kicking...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Socks

That stuff is like webmaster crack...Spike was partial to...

Myself, I'm a Cherry Garcia kind of guy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Makingcoin

Holy fuck this thread is great, do you have your guy microchipped? :P

Not yet, but when he comes crawling back to me (and he always does), dragging his little turtle dick in the dirt, he's going straight to the vet...

ADG

After Shock Media · 03-25-2008, 10:34 PM

This thread is so damn win.

munki · 03-25-2008, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Not yet, but when he comes crawling back to me (and he always does), dragging his little turtle dick in the dirt, he's going straight to the vet...

ADG

Make sure you get the full run of tests... You don't know what he's been doing with that lil turtle mouth either...

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by munki

Make sure you get the full run of tests... You don't know what he's been doing with that lil turtle mouth either...

I hear that. Spike is a big Madonna fan, and I noticed him going off the deep end with the Kabbalah stuff - apparently he was studying to be a Mohel...

I'm a pretty tolerant guy, but I told him that as long as he is going to live in my terrarium, it was going to be under my rules.

Does that make me a bad parent? Perhaps I have created a turtle without a cause...

Anyone with any tips, please forward them - the first 24 hours are the most important.

ADG

OzMan · 03-25-2008, 11:12 PM

Check your credit card charges online immediately. Spike may have tried to pay for someone else's room to throw you off the scent.

A-Bomb · 03-25-2008, 11:17 PM

check the strip bar?

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-25-2008, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OzMan

Check your credit card charges online immediately. Spike may have tried to pay for someone else's room to throw you off the scent.

Highly unlikely - I still have my wallet and all my plastic, although I did have to change all of my pins when I discovered that Spike was a kinky bastard, and he charged some eel porn to one of my cards:

You really think you know a turtle, and then this!

I still miss the little green fucker though, so anything anyone can do to help will be appreciated.

I'll put your link in my sig upon Spike's safe return...

ADG

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-26-2008, 01:22 PM

Well, I woke up this morning and looked over at Spike's travel terrarium, fully expecting to see the little guy back where he belonged. My heart sank when I saw that he was not there.

So I looked all over my room again, and outside the door, but still no Spike.

After getting dressed, I went down to the Front Desk to check and see if anyone had discovered and returned Spike, but the girl at the counter just sadly shook her head "no".

All kinds of ideas reeled about in my head...had Spike tried to make his way back to the Bay Area like a Homing Turtle? Had Spike met another turtle and set off to Vegas to get married? Had Spike run away and joined the circus?!?

Not knowing Spike's whereabouts and fate is driving me crazy...

I implore all of you attending the Phoenix Forum to take just a few minutes of time and look around and see if you can help me find my little lost turtle.

The reward for returning Spike to the Front Desk still stands, but don't do it just for the money, do it to help out a fellow webmaster and do it because it's the right thing to do...

ADG

JP-pornshooter · 03-26-2008, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Well, I woke up this morning and looked over at Spike's travel terrarium, fully expecting to see the little guy back where he belonged. My heart sank when I saw that he was not there.

So I looked all over my room again, and outside the door, but still no Spike.

After getting dressed, I went down to the Front Desk to check and see if anyone had discovered and returned Spike, but the girl at the counter just sadly shook her head "no".

All kinds of ideas reeled about in my head...had Spike tried to make his way back to the Bay Area like a Homing Turtle? Had Spike met another turtle and set off to Vegas to get married? Had Spike run away and joined the circus?!?

Not knowing Spike's whereabouts and fate is driving me crazy...

I implore all of you attending the Phoenix Forum to take just a few minutes of time and look around and see if you can help me find my little lost turtle.

The reward for returning Spike to the Front Desk still stands, but don't do it just for the money, do it to help out a fellow webmaster and do it because it's the right thing to do...

ADG

i'll look for him when i get out there tomorrow night..have a feeling i know where he went.. (did you check the pool - hot tub ?)

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-26-2008, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JP-pornshooter

i'll look for him when i get out there tomorrow night..have a feeling i know where he went.. (did you check the pool - hot tub ?)

Thanks for volunteering to help search for Spike. I hope he'll be back before you arrive.

As for the pool/hot tub, Spike doesn't like chlorine - he perfers long walks on the beach...

ADG

Jens Van Assterdam · 03-26-2008, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Thanks for volunteering to help search for Spike. I hope he'll be back before you arrive.

As for the pool/hot tub, Spike doesn't like chlorine - he perfers long walks on the beach...

ADG

looks cute lol

Peaches · 03-26-2008, 04:13 PM

Has he been having drug issues? Friend of Sleazy's? He might be on his way to a fancy drug rehab facility

Imortyl Pussycat · 03-26-2008, 04:21 PM

i hope you find Spike soon. i will look when i get in. i am like Snow White, animals flock to me so maybe he will find me.

papill0n · 03-26-2008, 04:31 PM

this is a sad thread

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-26-2008, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peaches

Has he been having drug issues? Friend of Sleazy's? He might be on his way to a fancy drug rehab facility

Nah, Spike quit the hard stuff. He still likes his tequila, but knows how to control it - I don't think he's on a bender or anything...

Quote:

Originally Posted by RageCash-Ben

this is a sad thread

Keep hope alive...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Imortyl Pussycat

i hope you find Spike soon. i will look when i get in. i am like Snow White, animals flock to me so maybe he will find me.

Thanks!

ADG

VeriSexy · 03-26-2008, 04:45 PM

Hope you find your little turtle

ProjectNaked · 03-26-2008, 05:00 PM

someone is at petsmart right now buying an imposter for the reward, hope the front desk has a detailed picture...

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-26-2008, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VeriSexy

Hope you find your little turtle

Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProjectNaked

someone is at petsmart right now buying an imposter for the reward, hope the front desk has a detailed picture...

Spike has a tattoo, so it's unlikely that anyone can turn in a counterfeit Spike to get the reward unless they knew what the tattoo is of, and where it is located...

I was thinking about getting a tattoo of Spike for myself, sort of like what this guy did:

Also, since you mentioned the possibly of scammers trying to take advantage of this situation, I am not sending out any e-mail solicitations, nor am I setting up any bank accounts on Spike's behalf, so if you get anything like that, just file it in your Nigerian Scam e-mail folder.

ADG

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-26-2008, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A-Bomb

check the strip bar?

Nope. Spike is not a fan of titty bars - he doesn't like the loud music, flashing lights and he's allergic to silicone. Besides, he's not into inter-species sex, he's strictly a turtle man.

Don't let his little size fool you, Spike is well-endowed (proportionally speaking). and he is a sex machine. His style is long and slow.

Quote:

Popular culture would have it that turtles are weak, flaccid, crappy organisms with dull social lives, stunted and barely functional internal organs and - it goes without saying - undersized sex organs. Right? WRONG...

Believe it or don't, turtles are horrifically well-endowed, and if the thought of learning more about the genitals of these oh-so-surprising reptiles doesn't appeal to you, look away now.

Anyway, it's not mating season for Spike, so it's unlikely that he's shacked up with a skank turtle, banging his little turtle balls off.

I'm still convinced he is around the hotel somewhere...and with the help of others staying at the hotel, I remain hopeful that Spike and I will be reunited.

ADG

03-25-2008, 02:55 PM	#1
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	PHX FORUM ATTENDEES: Reward for Safe Return of Spike I think my pet box turtle Spike was traumitized by the flight - he seems to have run away (I hope he wasn't turtle-naped or something...so far no ransom note, so I assume he just wandered off). Although he is frisky for a turtle, he doesn't bite, and Spike is attracted to tequila, especially when it is mixed into a margarita, although please note that Spike doesn't like salt. If you find Spike, please turn him in at the Front Desk of the hotel. I have instructed the Staff to give the rescuer an envelope with a nice $ reward, no questions asked. Thanks! ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

03-25-2008, 04:31 PM	#3
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	Are you threatening my turtle?!? ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

03-25-2008, 07:19 PM	#7
Mutt Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 34,431	wtf? you travel with a turtle? __________________ I moved my sites to Vacares Hosting. I've saved money, my hair is thicker, lost some weight too! Thanks Sly!

03-25-2008, 08:07 PM	#11
BusterBunny perverted justice decoy Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: unborn still in the womb connected via blackberry Posts: 19,291	good luck have you checked juicy's ass? many reptiles and amphibians make there way there during their annual migration __________________ my sig caught gonoherpasyphilaids and died

03-25-2008, 08:19 PM	#14
quantum-x Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: ICQ: 251425 Fr/Au/Ca Posts: 6,863	My turtle used to fuck off regularly. His favourite spot was under the couch, where he;d curl up and go to sleep. Search under the sofa! __________________ PrettyInCash.com - BoozedGFs.com - TeenGFs.com - JizzGFs.com- MilfUploads.com -

03-25-2008, 03:07 PM	#2
Socks Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Toronto Posts: 8,475

03-25-2008, 04:35 PM	#4
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	you are serious arent you?

03-25-2008, 08:04 PM	#9
Jace FBOP Class Of 2013 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: bumfuck, ky Posts: 35,562	omfg, this thread ROCKS it might possibly go down as one of the better gfy threads in a LONG time

03-25-2008, 08:05 PM	#10
papill0n Unregistered Abuser Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 15,547	Hope you get your turtle back ADG.

03-25-2008, 08:18 PM	#13
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	if its real i hope u get it back.

03-25-2008, 08:20 PM	#15
ProjectNaked Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Detroit Areola Posts: 4,309

03-25-2008, 09:22 PM	#19
munki Do Fun Shit. Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: OC Posts: 13,393	Wasn't somebody hosting an intervention at the Forum? Check the local rehabs, maybe Spike was the unlucky addict??? __________________ “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde

03-25-2008, 09:48 PM	#22
Socks Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Toronto Posts: 8,475

03-25-2008, 10:03 PM	#23
Makingcoin Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: The Ditch Posts: 8,919	Holy fuck this thread is great, do you have your guy microchipped? :P __________________ www.MAKINGCOIN.com icq. 166-662-831 "Start making large coin!" Daddy I Get Paid To Be A Whore - Coming Soon

03-25-2008, 10:08 PM	#24
Camco Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 137

03-25-2008, 10:34 PM	#26
After Shock Media It's coming look busy Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". Posts: 35,299	This thread is so damn win. __________________ [email protected] ICQ:135982156 AIM: Aftershockmed1a MSN: [email protected]

03-25-2008, 11:12 PM	#29
OzMan Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Los Begas Posts: 9,162	Check your credit card charges online immediately. Spike may have tried to pay for someone else's room to throw you off the scent.

03-25-2008, 11:17 PM	#30
A-Bomb Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: 1 of 3 holes Posts: 680	check the strip bar?

03-26-2008, 01:22 PM	#32
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	Well, I woke up this morning and looked over at Spike's travel terrarium, fully expecting to see the little guy back where he belonged. My heart sank when I saw that he was not there. So I looked all over my room again, and outside the door, but still no Spike. After getting dressed, I went down to the Front Desk to check and see if anyone had discovered and returned Spike, but the girl at the counter just sadly shook her head "no". All kinds of ideas reeled about in my head...had Spike tried to make his way back to the Bay Area like a Homing Turtle? Had Spike met another turtle and set off to Vegas to get married? Had Spike run away and joined the circus?!? Not knowing Spike's whereabouts and fate is driving me crazy... I implore all of you attending the Phoenix Forum to take just a few minutes of time and look around and see if you can help me find my little lost turtle. The reward for returning Spike to the Front Desk still stands, but don't do it just for the money, do it to help out a fellow webmaster and do it because it's the right thing to do... ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

03-26-2008, 04:13 PM	#36
Peaches Old broad Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Away Posts: 13,933	Has he been having drug issues? Friend of Sleazy's? He might be on his way to a fancy drug rehab facility

03-26-2008, 04:21 PM	#37
Imortyl Pussycat Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Cali Posts: 5,449	i hope you find Spike soon. i will look when i get in. i am like Snow White, animals flock to me so maybe he will find me. __________________ Julie Larson julie {at} juicyads.com skype: imortylpussycat Buy & Sell Ads on The Most Sexy Advertising Network on the Planet available ad spots \| sign up now

03-26-2008, 04:31 PM	#38
papill0n Unregistered Abuser Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 15,547	this is a sad thread

03-26-2008, 04:45 PM	#40
VeriSexy Join The Royal Family Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 25,463	Hope you find your little turtle __________________ Looking for a KICK ASS TEEN SPONSOR? Check out ROYAL CASH - THE KING OF TEEN! Incredible webmaster tools FHGs, Morphing Blog and RSS Feeds, Embedded FLV & WMV Videos. With TOP RATIO Sites like TeenStarsOnly.com - Earn $$ with our New Site & Bonus Payouts!! ATMovs.com \| iTeenVideo.com \| TeenSexMovs.com \| TeenSexMania.com

03-26-2008, 05:00 PM	#41
ProjectNaked Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Detroit Areola Posts: 4,309	someone is at petsmart right now buying an imposter for the reward, hope the front desk has a detailed picture...