Any tips on how to get out of Jury Duty? - GoFuckYourself.com

Forest · 11-24-2007, 11:58 AM

I just got notice I have to serve next month

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spacedog · 11-24-2007, 12:00 PM

show up on date it's for & when interviewed tell them everybody is guilty until proven innocent. They'll send you home.

Forest · 11-24-2007, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spacedog

show up on date it's for & when interviewed tell them everybody is guilty until proven innocent. They'll send you home.

that could work

DBS.US · 11-24-2007, 12:03 PM

Dress bad & don't shower

GrouchyAdmin · 11-24-2007, 12:03 PM

Moving out of the country works wonders. Well, it worked for me in '07.

baddog · 11-24-2007, 12:04 PM

I just got a summons and told them I couldn't because I did not get paid for jury duty. They denied my request.

I went to the courthouse personally and was informed that they no longer make you serve for 10 days. If you are not picked for a jury that first day, your service is over.

I figured if I could not get kicked from the prosecution or defense I was doing something wrong. The extra added benefit of being scheduled for Xmas Eve I think works in my favor as I have my doubts very few juries will be picked that day.

Scott McD · 11-24-2007, 12:04 PM

My gf just got a note from the doctor saying she couldn't do it...

Pleasurepays · 11-24-2007, 12:05 PM

when you are in the court, just act puzzled and keep saying "its not like police arrest innocent people... if he's been arrested, he must be guilty"

justFred · 11-24-2007, 12:06 PM

pretend like you already know details of the case, or that you're a complete idiot..

tell them you've spent years studying the constipation

Forest · 11-24-2007, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays

when you are in the court, just act puzzled and keep saying "its not like police arrest innocent people... if he's been arrested, he must be guilty"

hahahahaha

GMTA

I was just thinking about saying that

baddog · 11-24-2007, 12:07 PM

During the voir dire comments such as, "likely story" or "that happened to me once" or "this will be an easy decision" should make it easy to be dismissed.

sumphatpimp · 11-24-2007, 12:14 PM

I just told them the truth when they asked "what do you do for a living?"
I told them I run a website that sells penis pumps just like the one that judge got caught with on the bench.
they said they wouldn't be needing me.

Iron Fist · 11-24-2007, 12:18 PM

Act racist and you'll be gone in a heartbeat... and I'm not even joking.

smack · 11-24-2007, 12:25 PM

i actually just wriggled my way out of jury duty about two months ago. the case they were attempting to select me for was against a pederast. it was pretty fucked up. all kinds of charges against him for lewd acts with children under 8. pretty disturbing really.

so when they called my number, i walked up there, said hello, and they asked if i had any moral, religious, or other views that would keep me from rendering this man a fair and impartial judgement.

i looked the assistant district attorney right in the eye and said "Ma'am, this is a bit akward for me to tell you, but i really despise, and do not trust police. I think they're all crooked, and they're all liars."

i really thought her jaw was gonna break when it hit the floor. lol.

she kind of stuttered and said "So your hatred of police would keep you from rendering an impartial verdict in THIS case? Well thank you very much for your time."

then i just had to sit around for rest of the day while they interviewed everyone else, and they paid me like 11 dollars for my time. whoohoo.

baddog · 11-24-2007, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smack

then i just had to sit around for rest of the day while they interviewed everyone else, and they paid me like 11 dollars for my time. whoohoo.

I will pay you $12/day if you want to make some real coin.

smack · 11-24-2007, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

I will pay you $12/day if you want to make some real coin.

sweet, i'm always up for anything to increase my profit margins.

Forest · 11-24-2007, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

I will pay you $12/day if you want to make some real coin.

they are going to pay me a whoping 15 a day for the first 3 days and then 30 a day after that

man I think this is a gravy train

sexuallyhealed · 11-24-2007, 12:33 PM

Ya heres a tip - just don't go. No one goes. They don't do anything to you. Don't let them try to scare you into going. It's complete BS. I've not showed EVER to one.

Forest · 11-24-2007, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sexuallyhealed

Ya heres a tip - just don't go. No one goes. They don't do anything to you. Don't let them try to scare you into going. It's complete BS. I've not showed EVER to one.

yeah thats not going to happen

Im not going to ever risk a contempt of court issue especially in Florida

Im just going to say Im a racist bigoted homosexual hater who believe every one is guilty for something

JohnnyJames · 11-24-2007, 12:45 PM

I purchased a giant pentagram necklace and wore all black from head to toe. I also carried a large text on Wicca. The cover picture was a flaming red pentacle.

Then, when they asked me what my interests were and views on things:

I said I loved gardening, was active in raising money for local charities, and had a strong fondness for classical Mediterranean cuisine and fine wines. In addition, I told them I collected rare chess sets and antique books.

All true. My appearance was the only alteration.

I was the in the first group sent home.

I would have served and been happy to, but I am a one man operation, and if I am out of action for even a few days, it costs too much.

Cory W · 11-24-2007, 12:51 PM

Last time I went, I was honest with them and ready to serve. I hate to say this, but when you look around at who is "left to serve;" meaning, who didn't try to get out of it, you will hope you are never accused of anything in the United States.

Basically, a jury of your peers is the bottom-dwellers of society as we know it.

Pleasurepays · 11-24-2007, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forest

yeah thats not going to happen

Im not going to ever risk a contempt of court issue especially in Florida

Im just going to say Im a racist bigoted homosexual hater who believe every one is guilty for something

haha... thats a good idea. have shirt made that says "personally, i like n|ggers"

baddog · 11-24-2007, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WEG Cory

Last time I went, I was honest with them and ready to serve. I hate to say this, but when you look around at who is "left to serve;" meaning, who didn't try to get out of it, you will hope you are never accused of anything in the United States.

Basically, a jury of your peers is the bottom-dwellers of society as we know it.

Having served on several juries, my personal policy is: If I am guilty, go with the jury. If I am innocent, go with the judge.

11-24-2007, 12:56 PM

A pretty good method here.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=94zkBGm1IoU

WarChild · 11-24-2007, 01:02 PM

You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.

Forest · 11-24-2007, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pleasurepays

haha... thats a good idea. have shirt made that says "personally, i like n|ggers"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Forest · 11-24-2007, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarChild

You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.

I have to say If I was not the only manager of my business I would have no problem serving

BUT I manage 6 designers and not only will my business suffer but also the work I am having to do for clients will also suffer

Not to mention any new business that might come in that I would not be able to close

D · 11-24-2007, 01:26 PM

In my case, I've always just told them the truth.

As many of the founding fathers of the U.S. did, I believe in the common law right of jury nullification.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jury_nullification

I've yet to serve on a jury.

Cory W · 11-24-2007, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarChild

You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.

Only people I saw left at my last visit were people infatuated with the show "Law and Order" and people that most likely weren't capable of reading a full sentence structured beyond a 3rd grade level.

It scared me.

To be honest, I really think juries should be assigned jobs. The way it is doesn't work.

Shagbunny · 11-24-2007, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spacedog

show up on date it's for & when interviewed tell them everybody is guilty until proven innocent. They'll send you home.

Shagbunny · 11-24-2007, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarChild

You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.

ouchie, that's harsh!

Cory W · 11-24-2007, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forest

I have to say If I was not the only manager of my business I would have no problem serving

BUT I manage 6 designers and not only will my business suffer but also the work I am having to do for clients will also suffer

Not to mention any new business that might come in that I would not be able to close

Please don't take this wrong, too each their own; but, if you are ever falsely accused of something, when you are sitting in jury deliberations and all the people like you get out of it, you will be left with an eerie feeling.

Your defense attorney may have to present evidence according to intellectual demographics: roll dice man......

V_RocKs · 11-24-2007, 01:39 PM

Just never show up.

sandman! · 11-24-2007, 01:48 PM

Do people actually go ?

Every time i have got a notice i have forgot about it and never made it

kane · 11-24-2007, 01:49 PM

I have only been called to serve once. At the time I was called I was right in the middle of a ton of big projects so I wrote them a nice little letter and explained that I was self employed and I was in the middle of a huge project and I told them if I were forced to serve I would not be able to complete this project on time and it would cause me some serious financial and business problems (actually it was mostly true I was working on some big stuff, I would have just had to work on it at night after jury duty). They sent me a card back saying I was excused. I think the last thing they want is someone to show up who is utterly pissed about being there.

11-24-2007, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sandman!

Do people actually go ?

Every time i have got a notice i have forgot about it and never made it

I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure around here they issue an arrest warrant for you if you don't show up. Have you been pulled over by the police lately? I wouldn't be surprised if they don't lock you up the next time you get yanked.

edit: Actually I just checked and it looks like they just give you a small fine in most cases.

Fap · 11-24-2007, 01:51 PM

Tell them you are racist

quantum-x · 11-24-2007, 01:55 PM

If it's a serious request, simply say that you believe in, and aptly apply Jury Nulification [see wikipedia] - apparently this is one of the easier ways to skirt the system.

Spunky · 11-24-2007, 02:11 PM

Shave your head bald and tattoo a swastika on your forehead

iSMOKE · 11-24-2007, 02:13 PM

Is the letter certified? If not, there is no proof you ever recieved it and its unlikely your city would come after you for something that small.

I know everyone who reads this will shit talk me or whatever, i cant say it will work for you 100%...but i've been served 2x. Tore the letters up both times and into the dump they went. Thats been several years ago and i havent heard a thing.

iSMOKE · 11-24-2007, 02:16 PM

But if you wanna play it safe, just go for it. Sometimes you dont even get selected and you get sent home. Sometimes you sit there all day, you never know. I'm not sure if it varies from state to state but it probably does.

sandman! · 11-24-2007, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evildick

I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure around here they issue an arrest warrant for you if you don't show up. Have you been pulled over by the police lately? I wouldn't be surprised if they don't lock you up the next time you get yanked.

edit: Actually I just checked and it looks like they just give you a small fine in most cases.

I have missed it a few times last one 1-2 years ago and yea i have been pulled over and nothing about jury duty ever came up.

I think they say you can get arrested and other crap just to get people to show up.

sandman! · 11-24-2007, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iSMOKE

Is the letter certified? If not, there is no proof you ever recieved it and its unlikely your city would come after you for something that small.

I know everyone who reads this will shit talk me or whatever, i cant say it will work for you 100%...but i've been served 2x. Tore the letters up both times and into the dump they went. Thats been several years ago and i havent heard a thing.

pretty much how i see it if its not certified there is no proof you ever got it.

next time i get one tho im going to try to go might be fun

swampthing · 11-24-2007, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharphead

Act racist and you'll be gone in a heartbeat... and I'm not even joking.

that works

Grapesoda · 11-24-2007, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iSMOKE

Is the letter certified? If not, there is no proof you ever recieved it and its unlikely your city would come after you for something that small.

I know everyone who reads this will shit talk me or whatever, i cant say it will work for you 100%...but i've been served 2x. Tore the letters up both times and into the dump they went. Thats been several years ago and i havent heard a thing.

that might work here in LA, the USPO has lost much more than just one piece of my mail in the last few years. -bmb

iSMOKE · 11-24-2007, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bm bradley

that might work here in LA, the USPO has lost much more than just one piece of my mail in the last few years. -bmb

s9ann0 · 11-24-2007, 02:28 PM

piss yourself during the interview

Vendzilla · 11-24-2007, 02:29 PM

last time I got out of it because I knew one of the witnesses, time before that I was wearing a NRA t-shirt

smack · 11-24-2007, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WarChild

You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.

i wouldn't mind serving if i had a regular job and would get paid for it. but since i am considered self employed, i have to eat that cost, and lost that time.

what if i got selected to be on a jury for a trial that last several weeks? fling and aac are good people, but i don't think they would be compensating me for my time, nor should they. and what would i tell clients? "sorry, you're beat, i got sequestered."?

the dynamic changes a little bit when you are your own boss. maybe if they actually fairly compensated you it would be a different story, but honestly i just can't afford to lose that time. i've got important shit to do.

-edit- and as a side note, i actually do hate cops that much

LadyMischief · 11-24-2007, 03:06 PM

Answer the questionaire in a way that will show them you are bias... say somethihng like "I'd love the chance to hang a guilty person!" That usually works.

11-24-2007, 11:58 AM	#1
Forest Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Hollywood Fl. Posts: 8,988	Any tips on how to get out of Jury Duty? I just got notice I have to serve next month FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11-24-2007, 12:03 PM	#4
DBS.US Geo Cities Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: North Captiva Island, Florida USA Posts: 11,832	Dress bad & don't shower __________________ Make a Free Chaturbate White Label site in 34 minutes and be making money tonight

11-24-2007, 12:03 PM	#5
GrouchyAdmin Now choke yourself! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 12,085	Moving out of the country works wonders. Well, it worked for me in '07. __________________ AIM: GrouchyGfy

11-24-2007, 12:04 PM	#7
Scott McD Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Posts: 67,795	My gf just got a note from the doctor saying she couldn't do it... __________________ I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!

11-24-2007, 12:06 PM	#9
justFred Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 922	pretend like you already know details of the case, or that you're a complete idiot.. tell them you've spent years studying the constipation __________________ Vote Bill Cosby 2012

11-24-2007, 12:00 PM	#2
spacedog Yes that IS me. Bitch. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 14,149	show up on date it's for & when interviewed tell them everybody is guilty until proven innocent. They'll send you home.

11-24-2007, 12:04 PM	#6
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	I just got a summons and told them I couldn't because I did not get paid for jury duty. They denied my request. I went to the courthouse personally and was informed that they no longer make you serve for 10 days. If you are not picked for a jury that first day, your service is over. I figured if I could not get kicked from the prosecution or defense I was doing something wrong. The extra added benefit of being scheduled for Xmas Eve I think works in my favor as I have my doubts very few juries will be picked that day.

11-24-2007, 12:05 PM	#8
Pleasurepays BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I live in a pile of boogers Posts: 11,913	when you are in the court, just act puzzled and keep saying "its not like police arrest innocent people... if he's been arrested, he must be guilty"

11-24-2007, 12:07 PM	#11
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	During the voir dire comments such as, "likely story" or "that happened to me once" or "this will be an easy decision" should make it easy to be dismissed.

11-24-2007, 12:14 PM	#12
sumphatpimp Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,235	I just told them the truth when they asked "what do you do for a living?" I told them I run a website that sells penis pumps just like the one that judge got caught with on the bench. they said they wouldn't be needing me.

11-24-2007, 12:18 PM	#13
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	Act racist and you'll be gone in a heartbeat... and I'm not even joking. __________________ i like waffles

11-24-2007, 12:25 PM	#14
smack Push Porn Like Weight. Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Inside .NET Posts: 10,652	i actually just wriggled my way out of jury duty about two months ago. the case they were attempting to select me for was against a pederast. it was pretty fucked up. all kinds of charges against him for lewd acts with children under 8. pretty disturbing really. so when they called my number, i walked up there, said hello, and they asked if i had any moral, religious, or other views that would keep me from rendering this man a fair and impartial judgement. i looked the assistant district attorney right in the eye and said "Ma'am, this is a bit akward for me to tell you, but i really despise, and do not trust police. I think they're all crooked, and they're all liars." i really thought her jaw was gonna break when it hit the floor. lol. she kind of stuttered and said "So your hatred of police would keep you from rendering an impartial verdict in THIS case? Well thank you very much for your time." then i just had to sit around for rest of the day while they interviewed everyone else, and they paid me like 11 dollars for my time. whoohoo. __________________ Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

11-24-2007, 12:33 PM	#18
sexuallyhealed So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 532	Ya heres a tip - just don't go. No one goes. They don't do anything to you. Don't let them try to scare you into going. It's complete BS. I've not showed EVER to one.

11-24-2007, 12:45 PM	#20
JohnnyJames Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 621	I purchased a giant pentagram necklace and wore all black from head to toe. I also carried a large text on Wicca. The cover picture was a flaming red pentacle. Then, when they asked me what my interests were and views on things: I said I loved gardening, was active in raising money for local charities, and had a strong fondness for classical Mediterranean cuisine and fine wines. In addition, I told them I collected rare chess sets and antique books. All true. My appearance was the only alteration. I was the in the first group sent home. I would have served and been happy to, but I am a one man operation, and if I am out of action for even a few days, it costs too much. Last edited by JohnnyJames; 11-24-2007 at 12:47 PM..

11-24-2007, 12:51 PM	#21
Cory W Deeply shallow Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Hollywood, Ca. Posts: 9,133	Last time I went, I was honest with them and ready to serve. I hate to say this, but when you look around at who is "left to serve;" meaning, who didn't try to get out of it, you will hope you are never accused of anything in the United States. Basically, a jury of your peers is the bottom-dwellers of society as we know it. __________________ ICQ: 292310358 Offering writing and content services (mainstream). Marketing for L3 Payments

11-24-2007, 12:56 PM	#24
evildick Guest Posts: n/a	A pretty good method here. https://youtube.com/watch?v=94zkBGm1IoU

11-24-2007, 01:02 PM	#25
WarChild Let slip the dogs of war. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Bermuda Posts: 17,263	You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty. __________________ .

11-24-2007, 01:26 PM	#28
D Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Valley Posts: 7,412	In my case, I've always just told them the truth. As many of the founding fathers of the U.S. did, I believe in the common law right of jury nullification. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jury_nullification I've yet to serve on a jury. __________________ -D. ICQ: 202-96-31

11-24-2007, 01:39 PM	#33
V_RocKs Damn Right I Kiss Ass! Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Cowtown, USA Posts: 32,409	Just never show up.

11-24-2007, 01:48 PM	#34
sandman! Icq: 14420613 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: chicago Posts: 15,432	Do people actually go ? Every time i have got a notice i have forgot about it and never made it __________________ Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]

11-24-2007, 01:49 PM	#35
kane Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: portland, OR Posts: 20,684	I have only been called to serve once. At the time I was called I was right in the middle of a ton of big projects so I wrote them a nice little letter and explained that I was self employed and I was in the middle of a huge project and I told them if I were forced to serve I would not be able to complete this project on time and it would cause me some serious financial and business problems (actually it was mostly true I was working on some big stuff, I would have just had to work on it at night after jury duty). They sent me a card back saying I was excused. I think the last thing they want is someone to show up who is utterly pissed about being there.

11-24-2007, 01:51 PM	#37
Fap Just Du It Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 12,094	Tell them you are racist

11-24-2007, 01:55 PM	#38
quantum-x Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: ICQ: 251425 Fr/Au/Ca Posts: 6,863	If it's a serious request, simply say that you believe in, and aptly apply Jury Nulification [see wikipedia] - apparently this is one of the easier ways to skirt the system.

11-24-2007, 02:11 PM	#39
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,943	Shave your head bald and tattoo a swastika on your forehead __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

11-24-2007, 02:13 PM	#40
iSMOKE Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,028	Is the letter certified? If not, there is no proof you ever recieved it and its unlikely your city would come after you for something that small. I know everyone who reads this will shit talk me or whatever, i cant say it will work for you 100%...but i've been served 2x. Tore the letters up both times and into the dump they went. Thats been several years ago and i havent heard a thing. __________________

11-24-2007, 02:16 PM	#41
iSMOKE Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,028	But if you wanna play it safe, just go for it. Sometimes you dont even get selected and you get sent home. Sometimes you sit there all day, you never know. I'm not sure if it varies from state to state but it probably does. __________________

11-24-2007, 02:28 PM	#47
s9ann0 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Boston Posts: 4,873	piss yourself during the interview

11-24-2007, 02:29 PM	#48
Vendzilla Biker Gnome Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: cell#324 Posts: 23,200	last time I got out of it because I knew one of the witnesses, time before that I was wearing a NRA t-shirt __________________ Webair died? Carbon is not the problem, it makes up 0.041% of our atmosphere , 95% of that is from Volcanos and decomposing plants and stuff. So people in the US are responsible for 13% of the carbon in the atmosphere which 95% is not from Humans, like cars and trucks and stuff and they want to spend trillions to fix it while Solar Panel plants are powered by coal plants think about that

11-24-2007, 03:06 PM	#50
LadyMischief Orgasms N Such! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Oakville, Ontario Posts: 18,135	Answer the questionaire in a way that will show them you are bias... say somethihng like "I'd love the chance to hang a guilty person!" That usually works. __________________ ICQ 3522039 Content Manager - orgasm.com [email protected]