Forest

I just got notice I have to serve next month

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spacedog

show up on date it's for & when interviewed tell them everybody is guilty until proven innocent. They'll send you home.

Forest

that could work

DBS.US

Dress bad & don't shower

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GrouchyAdmin

Moving out of the country works wonders. Well, it worked for me in '07.

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baddog

I just got a summons and told them I couldn't because I did not get paid for jury duty. They denied my request.

I went to the courthouse personally and was informed that they no longer make you serve for 10 days. If you are not picked for a jury that first day, your service is over.

I figured if I could not get kicked from the prosecution or defense I was doing something wrong. The extra added benefit of being scheduled for Xmas Eve I think works in my favor as I have my doubts very few juries will be picked that day.

Scott McD

My gf just got a note from the doctor saying she couldn't do it...

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Pleasurepays

when you are in the court, just act puzzled and keep saying "its not like police arrest innocent people... if he's been arrested, he must be guilty"

justFred

pretend like you already know details of the case, or that you're a complete idiot..

tell them you've spent years studying the constipation

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Forest

hahahahaha

GMTA

I was just thinking about saying that

baddog

During the voir dire comments such as, "likely story" or "that happened to me once" or "this will be an easy decision" should make it easy to be dismissed.

sumphatpimp

I just told them the truth when they asked "what do you do for a living?"
I told them I run a website that sells penis pumps just like the one that judge got caught with on the bench.
they said they wouldn't be needing me.

Iron Fist

Act racist and you'll be gone in a heartbeat... and I'm not even joking.

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smack

i actually just wriggled my way out of jury duty about two months ago. the case they were attempting to select me for was against a pederast. it was pretty fucked up. all kinds of charges against him for lewd acts with children under 8. pretty disturbing really.

so when they called my number, i walked up there, said hello, and they asked if i had any moral, religious, or other views that would keep me from rendering this man a fair and impartial judgement.

i looked the assistant district attorney right in the eye and said "Ma'am, this is a bit akward for me to tell you, but i really despise, and do not trust police. I think they're all crooked, and they're all liars."

i really thought her jaw was gonna break when it hit the floor. lol.

she kind of stuttered and said "So your hatred of police would keep you from rendering an impartial verdict in THIS case? Well thank you very much for your time."

then i just had to sit around for rest of the day while they interviewed everyone else, and they paid me like 11 dollars for my time. whoohoo.

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baddog

I will pay you $12/day if you want to make some real coin.

smack

sweet, i'm always up for anything to increase my profit margins.

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Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

Forest

they are going to pay me a whoping 15 a day for the first 3 days and then 30 a day after that

man I think this is a gravy train

sexuallyhealed

Ya heres a tip - just don't go. No one goes. They don't do anything to you. Don't let them try to scare you into going. It's complete BS. I've not showed EVER to one.

Forest

yeah thats not going to happen

Im not going to ever risk a contempt of court issue especially in Florida


Im just going to say Im a racist bigoted homosexual hater who believe every one is guilty for something

JohnnyJames

I purchased a giant pentagram necklace and wore all black from head to toe. I also carried a large text on Wicca. The cover picture was a flaming red pentacle.

Then, when they asked me what my interests were and views on things:

I said I loved gardening, was active in raising money for local charities, and had a strong fondness for classical Mediterranean cuisine and fine wines. In addition, I told them I collected rare chess sets and antique books.

All true. My appearance was the only alteration.

I was the in the first group sent home.

I would have served and been happy to, but I am a one man operation, and if I am out of action for even a few days, it costs too much.

Cory W

Last time I went, I was honest with them and ready to serve. I hate to say this, but when you look around at who is "left to serve;" meaning, who didn't try to get out of it, you will hope you are never accused of anything in the United States.

Basically, a jury of your peers is the bottom-dwellers of society as we know it.

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Pleasurepays

haha... thats a good idea. have shirt made that says "personally, i like n|ggers"

baddog

Having served on several juries, my personal policy is: If I am guilty, go with the jury. If I am innocent, go with the judge.

evildick

A pretty good method here.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=94zkBGm1IoU

WarChild

You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.

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Forest

hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Forest

I have to say If I was not the only manager of my business I would have no problem serving

BUT I manage 6 designers and not only will my business suffer but also the work I am having to do for clients will also suffer

Not to mention any new business that might come in that I would not be able to close

D

In my case, I've always just told them the truth.

As many of the founding fathers of the U.S. did, I believe in the common law right of jury nullification.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jury_nullification

I've yet to serve on a jury.

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Cory W

Only people I saw left at my last visit were people infatuated with the show "Law and Order" and people that most likely weren't capable of reading a full sentence structured beyond a 3rd grade level.

It scared me.

To be honest, I really think juries should be assigned jobs. The way it is doesn't work.

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Shagbunny

Shagbunny

ouchie, that's harsh!

Cory W

Please don't take this wrong, too each their own; but, if you are ever falsely accused of something, when you are sitting in jury deliberations and all the people like you get out of it, you will be left with an eerie feeling.

Your defense attorney may have to present evidence according to intellectual demographics: roll dice man......

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V_RocKs

Just never show up.

sandman!

Do people actually go ?

Every time i have got a notice i have forgot about it and never made it

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kane

I have only been called to serve once. At the time I was called I was right in the middle of a ton of big projects so I wrote them a nice little letter and explained that I was self employed and I was in the middle of a huge project and I told them if I were forced to serve I would not be able to complete this project on time and it would cause me some serious financial and business problems (actually it was mostly true I was working on some big stuff, I would have just had to work on it at night after jury duty). They sent me a card back saying I was excused. I think the last thing they want is someone to show up who is utterly pissed about being there.

evildick

I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure around here they issue an arrest warrant for you if you don't show up. Have you been pulled over by the police lately? I wouldn't be surprised if they don't lock you up the next time you get yanked.

edit: Actually I just checked and it looks like they just give you a small fine in most cases.

Fap

Tell them you are racist

quantum-x

If it's a serious request, simply say that you believe in, and aptly apply Jury Nulification [see wikipedia] - apparently this is one of the easier ways to skirt the system.

Spunky

Shave your head bald and tattoo a swastika on your forehead

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iSMOKE

Is the letter certified? If not, there is no proof you ever recieved it and its unlikely your city would come after you for something that small.

I know everyone who reads this will shit talk me or whatever, i cant say it will work for you 100%...but i've been served 2x. Tore the letters up both times and into the dump they went. Thats been several years ago and i havent heard a thing.

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iSMOKE

But if you wanna play it safe, just go for it. Sometimes you dont even get selected and you get sent home. Sometimes you sit there all day, you never know. I'm not sure if it varies from state to state but it probably does.

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sandman!

I have missed it a few times last one 1-2 years ago and yea i have been pulled over and nothing about jury duty ever came up.

I think they say you can get arrested and other crap just to get people to show up.

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sandman!

pretty much how i see it if its not certified there is no proof you ever got it.

next time i get one tho im going to try to go might be fun

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swampthing

that works

Grapesoda

that might work here in LA, the USPO has lost much more than just one piece of my mail in the last few years. -bmb

iSMOKE

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s9ann0

piss yourself during the interview

Vendzilla

last time I got out of it because I knew one of the witnesses, time before that I was wearing a NRA t-shirt

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think about that

smack

i wouldn't mind serving if i had a regular job and would get paid for it. but since i am considered self employed, i have to eat that cost, and lost that time.

what if i got selected to be on a jury for a trial that last several weeks? fling and aac are good people, but i don't think they would be compensating me for my time, nor should they. and what would i tell clients? "sorry, you're beat, i got sequestered."?

the dynamic changes a little bit when you are your own boss. maybe if they actually fairly compensated you it would be a different story, but honestly i just can't afford to lose that time. i've got important shit to do.

-edit- and as a side note, i actually do hate cops that much

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LadyMischief

Answer the questionaire in a way that will show them you are bias... say somethihng like "I'd love the chance to hang a guilty person!" That usually works.

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