Any tips on how to get out of Jury Duty?

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  • Forest
    Confirmed User
    • Aug 2001
    • 9135

    #1

    Any tips on how to get out of Jury Duty?

    I just got notice I have to serve next month

    FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • spacedog
    Yes that IS me. Bitch.
    • Nov 2001
    • 14149

    #2
    show up on date it's for & when interviewed tell them everybody is guilty until proven innocent. They'll send you home.

    Comment

    • Forest
      Confirmed User
      • Aug 2001
      • 9135

      #3
      Originally posted by spacedog
      show up on date it's for & when interviewed tell them everybody is guilty until proven innocent. They'll send you home.


      that could work

      Comment

      • DBS.US
        Geo Cities
        • Aug 2003
        • 11843

        #4
        Dress bad & don't shower
        Have an unused domain? Make a Free Chaturbate White Label site and be making money tonight

        Comment

        • GrouchyAdmin
          Now choke yourself!
          • Apr 2006
          • 12085

          #5
          Moving out of the country works wonders. Well, it worked for me in '07.

          Comment

          • baddog
            So Fucking Banned
            • Apr 2001
            • 107089

            #6
            I just got a summons and told them I couldn't because I did not get paid for jury duty. They denied my request.

            I went to the courthouse personally and was informed that they no longer make you serve for 10 days. If you are not picked for a jury that first day, your service is over.

            I figured if I could not get kicked from the prosecution or defense I was doing something wrong. The extra added benefit of being scheduled for Xmas Eve I think works in my favor as I have my doubts very few juries will be picked that day.

            Comment

            • Scott McD
              Too lazy to set a custom title
              • Nov 2002
              • 67798

              #7
              My gf just got a note from the doctor saying she couldn't do it...


              I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!

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              • Pleasurepays
                BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES
                • Aug 2002
                • 11913

                #8
                when you are in the court, just act puzzled and keep saying "its not like police arrest innocent people... if he's been arrested, he must be guilty"

                Comment

                • justFred
                  Confirmed User
                  • Mar 2007
                  • 922

                  #9
                  pretend like you already know details of the case, or that you're a complete idiot..

                  tell them you've spent years studying the constipation
                  Vote Bill Cosby 2012

                  Comment

                  • Forest
                    Confirmed User
                    • Aug 2001
                    • 9135

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Pleasurepays
                    when you are in the court, just act puzzled and keep saying "its not like police arrest innocent people... if he's been arrested, he must be guilty"
                    hahahahaha

                    GMTA

                    I was just thinking about saying that

                    Comment

                    • baddog
                      So Fucking Banned
                      • Apr 2001
                      • 107089

                      #11
                      During the voir dire comments such as, "likely story" or "that happened to me once" or "this will be an easy decision" should make it easy to be dismissed.

                      Comment

                      • sumphatpimp
                        Confirmed User
                        • Aug 2002
                        • 5235

                        #12
                        I just told them the truth when they asked "what do you do for a living?"
                        I told them I run a website that sells penis pumps just like the one that judge got caught with on the bench.
                        they said they wouldn't be needing me.

                        Comment

                        • Iron Fist
                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                          • Dec 2006
                          • 23400

                          #13
                          Act racist and you'll be gone in a heartbeat... and I'm not even joking.
                          i like waffles

                          Comment

                          • smack
                            Push Porn Like Weight.
                            • Mar 2002
                            • 10652

                            #14
                            i actually just wriggled my way out of jury duty about two months ago. the case they were attempting to select me for was against a pederast. it was pretty fucked up. all kinds of charges against him for lewd acts with children under 8. pretty disturbing really.

                            so when they called my number, i walked up there, said hello, and they asked if i had any moral, religious, or other views that would keep me from rendering this man a fair and impartial judgement.

                            i looked the assistant district attorney right in the eye and said "Ma'am, this is a bit akward for me to tell you, but i really despise, and do not trust police. I think they're all crooked, and they're all liars."

                            i really thought her jaw was gonna break when it hit the floor. lol.

                            she kind of stuttered and said "So your hatred of police would keep you from rendering an impartial verdict in THIS case? Well thank you very much for your time."

                            then i just had to sit around for rest of the day while they interviewed everyone else, and they paid me like 11 dollars for my time. whoohoo.
                            Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

                            Comment

                            • baddog
                              So Fucking Banned
                              • Apr 2001
                              • 107089

                              #15
                              Originally posted by smack
                              then i just had to sit around for rest of the day while they interviewed everyone else, and they paid me like 11 dollars for my time. whoohoo.
                              I will pay you $12/day if you want to make some real coin.

                              Comment

                              • smack
                                Push Porn Like Weight.
                                • Mar 2002
                                • 10652

                                #16
                                Originally posted by baddog
                                I will pay you $12/day if you want to make some real coin.


                                sweet, i'm always up for anything to increase my profit margins.
                                Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

                                Comment

                                • Forest
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Aug 2001
                                  • 9135

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by baddog
                                  I will pay you $12/day if you want to make some real coin.
                                  they are going to pay me a whoping 15 a day for the first 3 days and then 30 a day after that

                                  man I think this is a gravy train

                                  Comment

                                  • sexuallyhealed
                                    So Fucking Banned
                                    • Sep 2005
                                    • 532

                                    #18
                                    Ya heres a tip - just don't go. No one goes. They don't do anything to you. Don't let them try to scare you into going. It's complete BS. I've not showed EVER to one.

                                    Comment

                                    • Forest
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Aug 2001
                                      • 9135

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by sexuallyhealed
                                      Ya heres a tip - just don't go. No one goes. They don't do anything to you. Don't let them try to scare you into going. It's complete BS. I've not showed EVER to one.
                                      yeah thats not going to happen

                                      Im not going to ever risk a contempt of court issue especially in Florida


                                      Im just going to say Im a racist bigoted homosexual hater who believe every one is guilty for something

                                      Comment

                                      • JohnnyJames
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Oct 2007
                                        • 621

                                        #20
                                        I purchased a giant pentagram necklace and wore all black from head to toe. I also carried a large text on Wicca. The cover picture was a flaming red pentacle.

                                        Then, when they asked me what my interests were and views on things:

                                        I said I loved gardening, was active in raising money for local charities, and had a strong fondness for classical Mediterranean cuisine and fine wines. In addition, I told them I collected rare chess sets and antique books.

                                        All true. My appearance was the only alteration.

                                        I was the in the first group sent home.

                                        I would have served and been happy to, but I am a one man operation, and if I am out of action for even a few days, it costs too much.
                                        Last edited by JohnnyJames; 11-24-2007, 10:47 AM.

                                        Comment

                                        • Cory W
                                          Deeply shallow
                                          • Jan 2004
                                          • 9133

                                          #21
                                          Last time I went, I was honest with them and ready to serve. I hate to say this, but when you look around at who is "left to serve;" meaning, who didn't try to get out of it, you will hope you are never accused of anything in the United States.

                                          Basically, a jury of your peers is the bottom-dwellers of society as we know it.
                                          ICQ: 292310358
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                                          • Pleasurepays
                                            BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES
                                            • Aug 2002
                                            • 11913

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by Forest
                                            yeah thats not going to happen

                                            Im not going to ever risk a contempt of court issue especially in Florida


                                            Im just going to say Im a racist bigoted homosexual hater who believe every one is guilty for something


                                            haha... thats a good idea. have shirt made that says "personally, i like n|ggers"

                                            Comment

                                            • baddog
                                              So Fucking Banned
                                              • Apr 2001
                                              • 107089

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by WEG Cory
                                              Last time I went, I was honest with them and ready to serve. I hate to say this, but when you look around at who is "left to serve;" meaning, who didn't try to get out of it, you will hope you are never accused of anything in the United States.

                                              Basically, a jury of your peers is the bottom-dwellers of society as we know it.
                                              Having served on several juries, my personal policy is: If I am guilty, go with the jury. If I am innocent, go with the judge.

                                              Comment

                                              • evildick

                                                #24
                                                A pretty good method here.

                                                http://youtube.com/watch?v=94zkBGm1IoU

                                                Comment

                                                • WarChild
                                                  Let slip the dogs of war.
                                                  • Jan 2003
                                                  • 17263

                                                  #25
                                                  You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.
                                                  .

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Forest
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Aug 2001
                                                    • 9135

                                                    #26
                                                    Originally posted by Pleasurepays
                                                    haha... thats a good idea. have shirt made that says "personally, i like n|ggers"
                                                    hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Forest
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Aug 2001
                                                      • 9135

                                                      #27
                                                      Originally posted by WarChild
                                                      You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.
                                                      I have to say If I was not the only manager of my business I would have no problem serving

                                                      BUT I manage 6 designers and not only will my business suffer but also the work I am having to do for clients will also suffer

                                                      Not to mention any new business that might come in that I would not be able to close

                                                      Comment

                                                      • D
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Jan 2006
                                                        • 7412

                                                        #28
                                                        In my case, I've always just told them the truth.

                                                        As many of the founding fathers of the U.S. did, I believe in the common law right of jury nullification.

                                                        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jury_nullification

                                                        I've yet to serve on a jury.
                                                        -D.
                                                        ICQ: 202-96-31

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Cory W
                                                          Deeply shallow
                                                          • Jan 2004
                                                          • 9133

                                                          #29
                                                          Originally posted by WarChild
                                                          You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.
                                                          Only people I saw left at my last visit were people infatuated with the show "Law and Order" and people that most likely weren't capable of reading a full sentence structured beyond a 3rd grade level.

                                                          It scared me.

                                                          To be honest, I really think juries should be assigned jobs. The way it is doesn't work.
                                                          ICQ: 292310358
                                                          Offering writing and content services (mainstream).
                                                          Marketing for L3 Payments

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                                                          • Shagbunny
                                                            Confirmed User
                                                            • Oct 2007
                                                            • 3028

                                                            #30
                                                            Originally posted by spacedog
                                                            show up on date it's for & when interviewed tell them everybody is guilty until proven innocent. They'll send you home.

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Shagbunny
                                                              Confirmed User
                                                              • Oct 2007
                                                              • 3028

                                                              #31
                                                              Originally posted by WarChild
                                                              You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.
                                                              ouchie, that's harsh!

                                                              Comment

                                                              • Cory W
                                                                Deeply shallow
                                                                • Jan 2004
                                                                • 9133

                                                                #32
                                                                Originally posted by Forest
                                                                I have to say If I was not the only manager of my business I would have no problem serving

                                                                BUT I manage 6 designers and not only will my business suffer but also the work I am having to do for clients will also suffer

                                                                Not to mention any new business that might come in that I would not be able to close
                                                                Please don't take this wrong, too each their own; but, if you are ever falsely accused of something, when you are sitting in jury deliberations and all the people like you get out of it, you will be left with an eerie feeling.

                                                                Your defense attorney may have to present evidence according to intellectual demographics: roll dice man......
                                                                ICQ: 292310358
                                                                Offering writing and content services (mainstream).
                                                                Marketing for L3 Payments

                                                                Comment

                                                                • V_RocKs
                                                                  Damn Right I Kiss Ass!
                                                                  • Nov 2003
                                                                  • 32449

                                                                  #33
                                                                  Just never show up.

                                                                  Comment

                                                                  • sandman!
                                                                    Icq: 14420613
                                                                    • Mar 2001
                                                                    • 15431

                                                                    #34
                                                                    Do people actually go ?

                                                                    Every time i have got a notice i have forgot about it and never made it
                                                                    Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]

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                                                                    • kane
                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                      • Aug 2001
                                                                      • 20684

                                                                      #35
                                                                      I have only been called to serve once. At the time I was called I was right in the middle of a ton of big projects so I wrote them a nice little letter and explained that I was self employed and I was in the middle of a huge project and I told them if I were forced to serve I would not be able to complete this project on time and it would cause me some serious financial and business problems (actually it was mostly true I was working on some big stuff, I would have just had to work on it at night after jury duty). They sent me a card back saying I was excused. I think the last thing they want is someone to show up who is utterly pissed about being there.

                                                                      Comment

                                                                      • evildick

                                                                        #36
                                                                        Originally posted by sandman!
                                                                        Do people actually go ?

                                                                        Every time i have got a notice i have forgot about it and never made it
                                                                        I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure around here they issue an arrest warrant for you if you don't show up. Have you been pulled over by the police lately? I wouldn't be surprised if they don't lock you up the next time you get yanked.

                                                                        edit: Actually I just checked and it looks like they just give you a small fine in most cases.
                                                                        Last edited by Guest; 11-24-2007, 11:52 AM.

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • Fap
                                                                          Just Du It
                                                                          • Feb 2004
                                                                          • 12094

                                                                          #37
                                                                          Tell them you are racist

                                                                          Comment

                                                                          • quantum-x
                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                            • Feb 2002
                                                                            • 6863

                                                                            #38
                                                                            If it's a serious request, simply say that you believe in, and aptly apply Jury Nulification [see wikipedia] - apparently this is one of the easier ways to skirt the system.
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                                                                            • Spunky
                                                                              I need a beer
                                                                              • Jun 2002
                                                                              • 133986

                                                                              #39
                                                                              Shave your head bald and tattoo a swastika on your forehead

                                                                              Comment

                                                                              • iSMOKE
                                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                                • Jul 2007
                                                                                • 1028

                                                                                #40
                                                                                Is the letter certified? If not, there is no proof you ever recieved it and its unlikely your city would come after you for something that small.

                                                                                I know everyone who reads this will shit talk me or whatever, i cant say it will work for you 100%...but i've been served 2x. Tore the letters up both times and into the dump they went. Thats been several years ago and i havent heard a thing.

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • iSMOKE
                                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                                  • Jul 2007
                                                                                  • 1028

                                                                                  #41
                                                                                  But if you wanna play it safe, just go for it. Sometimes you dont even get selected and you get sent home. Sometimes you sit there all day, you never know. I'm not sure if it varies from state to state but it probably does.

                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                  • sandman!
                                                                                    Icq: 14420613
                                                                                    • Mar 2001
                                                                                    • 15431

                                                                                    #42
                                                                                    Originally posted by evildick
                                                                                    I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure around here they issue an arrest warrant for you if you don't show up. Have you been pulled over by the police lately? I wouldn't be surprised if they don't lock you up the next time you get yanked.

                                                                                    edit: Actually I just checked and it looks like they just give you a small fine in most cases.
                                                                                    I have missed it a few times last one 1-2 years ago and yea i have been pulled over and nothing about jury duty ever came up.

                                                                                    I think they say you can get arrested and other crap just to get people to show up.
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                                                                                    • sandman!
                                                                                      Icq: 14420613
                                                                                      • Mar 2001
                                                                                      • 15431

                                                                                      #43
                                                                                      Originally posted by iSMOKE
                                                                                      Is the letter certified? If not, there is no proof you ever recieved it and its unlikely your city would come after you for something that small.

                                                                                      I know everyone who reads this will shit talk me or whatever, i cant say it will work for you 100%...but i've been served 2x. Tore the letters up both times and into the dump they went. Thats been several years ago and i havent heard a thing.
                                                                                      pretty much how i see it if its not certified there is no proof you ever got it.

                                                                                      next time i get one tho im going to try to go might be fun
                                                                                      Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]

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                                                                                      • swampthing
                                                                                        Confirmed User
                                                                                        • Mar 2007
                                                                                        • 570

                                                                                        #44
                                                                                        Originally posted by sharphead
                                                                                        Act racist and you'll be gone in a heartbeat... and I'm not even joking.
                                                                                        that works

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • Grapesoda
                                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                                          • Jul 2003
                                                                                          • 46238

                                                                                          #45
                                                                                          Originally posted by iSMOKE
                                                                                          Is the letter certified? If not, there is no proof you ever recieved it and its unlikely your city would come after you for something that small.

                                                                                          I know everyone who reads this will shit talk me or whatever, i cant say it will work for you 100%...but i've been served 2x. Tore the letters up both times and into the dump they went. Thats been several years ago and i havent heard a thing.
                                                                                          that might work here in LA, the USPO has lost much more than just one piece of my mail in the last few years. -bmb

                                                                                          Comment

                                                                                          • iSMOKE
                                                                                            Confirmed User
                                                                                            • Jul 2007
                                                                                            • 1028

                                                                                            #46
                                                                                            Originally posted by bm bradley
                                                                                            that might work here in LA, the USPO has lost much more than just one piece of my mail in the last few years. -bmb

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • s9ann0
                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                              • Sep 2001
                                                                                              • 4873

                                                                                              #47
                                                                                              piss yourself during the interview

                                                                                              Comment

                                                                                              • Vendzilla
                                                                                                Biker Gnome
                                                                                                • Mar 2004
                                                                                                • 23200

                                                                                                #48
                                                                                                last time I got out of it because I knew one of the witnesses, time before that I was wearing a NRA t-shirt
                                                                                                Carbon is not the problem, it makes up 0.041% of our atmosphere , 95% of that is from Volcanos and decomposing plants and stuff. So people in the US are responsible for 13% of the carbon in the atmosphere which 95% is not from Humans, like cars and trucks and stuff and they want to spend trillions to fix it while Solar Panel plants are powered by coal plants
                                                                                                think about that

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • smack
                                                                                                  Push Porn Like Weight.
                                                                                                  • Mar 2002
                                                                                                  • 10652

                                                                                                  #49
                                                                                                  Originally posted by WarChild
                                                                                                  You know I don't believe in Karma, because it's ridiculous. However, if there were such a thing, may all of you skipping out of Jury Duty end up on the wrong end of a false accusation one day and be stuck with a jury of only those too stupid to get out of jury duty.

                                                                                                  i wouldn't mind serving if i had a regular job and would get paid for it. but since i am considered self employed, i have to eat that cost, and lost that time.

                                                                                                  what if i got selected to be on a jury for a trial that last several weeks? fling and aac are good people, but i don't think they would be compensating me for my time, nor should they. and what would i tell clients? "sorry, you're beat, i got sequestered."?

                                                                                                  the dynamic changes a little bit when you are your own boss. maybe if they actually fairly compensated you it would be a different story, but honestly i just can't afford to lose that time. i've got important shit to do.

                                                                                                  -edit- and as a side note, i actually do hate cops that much
                                                                                                  Last edited by smack; 11-24-2007, 12:56 PM.
                                                                                                  Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

                                                                                                  Comment

                                                                                                  • LadyMischief
                                                                                                    Orgasms N Such!
                                                                                                    • Sep 2002
                                                                                                    • 18135

                                                                                                    #50
                                                                                                    Answer the questionaire in a way that will show them you are bias... say somethihng like "I'd love the chance to hang a guilty person!" That usually works.

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