Just a little story about marriage... - GoFuckYourself.com

Semi-Retired-Dave · 08-24-2007, 03:39 PM

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries:

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
"You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words?...Well Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

........and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

Jet - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-24-2007, 03:42 PM

no reading all that

silvercash amber · 08-24-2007, 03:45 PM

thats right!

RuthB · 08-24-2007, 03:48 PM

damn, talk about a story to put guys off marriage! LOL

cool1 · 08-24-2007, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave

"You want dirty words?...Well Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

and thats why I killed her your honor.

_Richard_ · 08-24-2007, 03:55 PM

hahahaha.. always funny

Semi-Retired-Dave · 08-24-2007, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cool1

and thats why I killed her your honor.

Then you are free to go..Unless the judge is a female.

Straight to the Chair.

The Duck · 08-24-2007, 03:56 PM

Good one

with a wife who did all that for me I would stay home and smoke pot.

pixiewillow · 08-24-2007, 04:23 PM

I'd rather my husband go out then to do that much work to keep him home.

Shakula · 08-24-2007, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries:

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
"You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words?...Well Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

........and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

Dave, tell us, hows life as being married?

Kiwigirl · 08-24-2007, 04:35 PM

Hahahaha CLASSIC!

Pornwolf · 08-24-2007, 05:19 PM

Ahahahahahaha

hahahahaha

hahaha

ha...

baddog · 08-24-2007, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

no reading all that

You mean you can't read all that, right?

Compdoctor · 08-24-2007, 06:05 PM

and just think, you will soon be married, living the happy life!

J. Falcon · 08-24-2007, 06:06 PM

This joke is older than baddog.

Big Red Machine · 08-24-2007, 06:22 PM

Fat chance of a girl that does all that these days....regardless Good 1

zand_stein · 08-24-2007, 06:30 PM

hahaha...........
that is a good one....
nice story.......

Spunky · 08-24-2007, 06:33 PM

Lol..that's why I'm never getting married

woj · 08-24-2007, 06:38 PM

Drake · 08-24-2007, 06:45 PM

That's terrifying

CDSmith · 08-24-2007, 06:54 PM

In light of that it's hard to believe there is actually one little dickhead on this board who ridicules me for being single.

Maybe once he reads that he'll realize what a tool he is. :D

Semi-Retired-Dave · 08-25-2007, 02:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shakula

Dave, tell us, hows life as being married?

I have no idea, I'm not married..YET!!!

Violetta · 08-25-2007, 06:05 AM

hahaha... great!

testpie · 08-25-2007, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries:

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
"You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words?...Well Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

........and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

sniperwolf · 08-25-2007, 07:52 AM

nice one!

NetCashBrian · 08-25-2007, 08:03 AM

Truth hurts

martinsc · 08-25-2007, 08:09 AM

Dagwolf · 08-25-2007, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NetCashBrian

Truth hurts

the alchemist · 08-25-2007, 10:33 AM

Hahahahahaha awesome

Intricate · 08-25-2007, 10:34 AM

Hell... if my wife did that, I'd be having the boys over to my basement bar and showing that woman off, assuming she's hot...rare find.

edit:

a couple times of doing that and she'd be saying "okay honey have fun at the bar..."

pornvue · 08-25-2007, 11:18 AM

very nice...i should try that some time

irinasp · 08-27-2007, 04:59 AM

I LIKE IT!!!!!

Ross · 08-27-2007, 05:07 AM

That joke was in a magazing over here a few weeks ago! I pissed myself laughing when I read it

emjay · 08-27-2007, 05:17 AM

carol.prime · 08-27-2007, 10:42 AM

hahaha!! so guys you must learned your lesson.
" do not go to bar after marriage unless......." lol

Semi-Retired-Dave · 08-27-2007, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emjay

That is a funny image.

G-Rotica · 08-27-2007, 10:48 AM

ok, who bugged my house?

Jimmy Rock · 08-27-2007, 10:48 AM

so true.. i have plenty of freinds that could attest to that

tomeatsdinner · 08-27-2007, 10:53 AM

hahaha.. So funny.. Its for real.

mistergardener · 08-27-2007, 10:58 AM

I can relate to that! LOL!

gornyhuy · 08-27-2007, 11:26 AM

Its more like : cut to the last line without any of the goodies!

Meeper · 08-27-2007, 11:29 AM

hah yea that sounds pretty accurate

08-24-2007, 03:39 PM	#1
Semi-Retired-Dave Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: LA Posts: 11,190	Just a little story about marriage... A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words?...Well Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?" ........and, they lived happily ever after. Now, isn't that a sweet story? __________________ Support a Good Cause

08-24-2007, 03:45 PM	#3
silvercash amber Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: riverside Posts: 595	thats right! __________________ Amber Sales Account Manager ICQ#492354999 [email protected] check out my Adult Who's Who

08-24-2007, 03:48 PM	#4
RuthB Let's Get Paxumized! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,247	damn, talk about a story to put guys off marriage! LOL __________________ Send & Receive Mass Global Payments - Mass P2P/Wire/EFT/SEPA - Adult Industry Friendly - Award Winning Payment Service - Fast, Reliable & Secure! Paxum ...... Paxum Bank Email: [email protected] ~ Telegram: PaxumRuth

08-24-2007, 03:56 PM	#8
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	Good one with a wife who did all that for me I would stay home and smoke pot. __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

08-24-2007, 04:35 PM	#11
Kiwigirl Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida Posts: 2,556	Hahahaha CLASSIC! __________________ KIWISOURCING OUTSOURCING WITH A TWIST!

08-24-2007, 03:42 PM	#2
Jet - BANNED FOR LIFE So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 7,515	no reading all that

08-24-2007, 03:55 PM	#6
_Richard_ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Earth Posts: 30,989	hahahaha.. always funny

08-24-2007, 04:23 PM	#9
pixiewillow Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 252	I'd rather my husband go out then to do that much work to keep him home.

08-24-2007, 05:19 PM	#12
Pornwolf Drunk and Unruly Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hollywood Posts: 22,712	Ahahahahahaha hahahahaha hahaha ha... __________________ I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade... Webair, bitches.

08-24-2007, 06:05 PM	#14
Compdoctor Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: True 3D Content Posts: 1,937	and just think, you will soon be married, living the happy life! __________________ Content By Compdoctor- Original 3D Cartoon Work 3D Comics Anime Resource Accepting Toon/Hentai Links

08-24-2007, 06:06 PM	#15
J. Falcon www.AdultCopywriters.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 31,618	This joke is older than baddog. __________________ Adult Copywriters SEO Content for Porn Sites sales at adultcopywriters dot com

08-24-2007, 06:22 PM	#16
Big Red Machine Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: XXXBigRed@Twitter Posts: 9,586	Fat chance of a girl that does all that these days....regardless Good 1 __________________ ICQ:475437214

08-24-2007, 06:30 PM	#17
zand_stein Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,438	hahaha........... that is a good one.... nice story....... __________________ Paying Affiliates DAILY by ePassporte!

08-24-2007, 06:33 PM	#18
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	Lol..that's why I'm never getting married __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

08-24-2007, 06:38 PM	#19
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	__________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

08-24-2007, 06:45 PM	#20
Drake Hello world! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 12,508	That's terrifying

08-24-2007, 06:54 PM	#21
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	In light of that it's hard to believe there is actually one little dickhead on this board who ridicules me for being single. Maybe once he reads that he'll realize what a tool he is. :D __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

08-25-2007, 06:05 AM	#23
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	hahaha... great! __________________ M&A Queen

08-25-2007, 07:52 AM	#25
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	nice one! __________________ ~Accepting design works~

08-25-2007, 08:03 AM	#26
NetCashBrian Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 295	Truth hurts __________________ NetCash Brian Chief Operating Officer ICQ: 334-743-934 Email: [email protected]

08-25-2007, 08:09 AM	#27
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	__________________ Make Money

08-25-2007, 10:33 AM	#29
the alchemist Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 3,271	Hahahahahaha awesome __________________ 264 349 400

08-25-2007, 10:34 AM	#30
Intricate Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Quebec City, Quebec Posts: 133	Hell... if my wife did that, I'd be having the boys over to my basement bar and showing that woman off, assuming she's hot...rare find. edit: a couple times of doing that and she'd be saying "okay honey have fun at the bar..." __________________ chesterbanksphp [.at.] gmail.com icq: 350 656 495

08-25-2007, 11:18 AM	#31
pornvue Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 474	very nice...i should try that some time __________________ Pornvue - UPLOAD YOUR VIDEOS FOR FREE!!

08-27-2007, 04:59 AM	#32
irinasp Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 2,160	I LIKE IT!!!!! __________________ Any questions? Contact me: 633 - 055 - 367

08-27-2007, 05:07 AM	#33
Ross Ik ben een aap Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Traffic Force Towers, Canada! Posts: 18,874	That joke was in a magazing over here a few weeks ago! I pissed myself laughing when I read it

08-27-2007, 05:17 AM	#34
emjay Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Back in Blighty Posts: 4,277	__________________ I Run 500+ WhatsApp Groups. The Zuck Owns Me www.emjayconsultancy.com

08-27-2007, 10:42 AM	#35
carol.prime Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 6,960	hahaha!! so guys you must learned your lesson. " do not go to bar after marriage unless......." lol __________________ Prime Outsourcing \| offshore staffing solutions \| manual labor \| employee leasing \| full time employees starting at $695.00/month = managed and dedicated icq.: 309570461 live chat

08-27-2007, 10:48 AM	#37
G-Rotica Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 4,258	ok, who bugged my house? __________________

08-27-2007, 10:48 AM	#38
Jimmy Rock Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: West Hollywood Posts: 3,055	so true.. i have plenty of freinds that could attest to that __________________ Jimmy Rock \| ICQ: 285 748 329 [email protected]

08-27-2007, 10:53 AM	#39
tomeatsdinner Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 262	hahaha.. So funny.. Its for real. __________________

08-27-2007, 10:58 AM	#40
mistergardener Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 746	I can relate to that! LOL! __________________

08-27-2007, 11:26 AM	#41
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	Its more like : cut to the last line without any of the goodies! __________________ icq:159548293

08-27-2007, 11:29 AM	#42
Meeper Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Beverly Hills, CA Posts: 2,642	hah yea that sounds pretty accurate __________________ *Nick "Meeper"* Amoroso [SIZE="1"] Hustler.com / BarelyLegal.com / HustlersReviews.com / HustlerTube.com / HustlerShare.com**