Just a little story about marriage...
 

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries:

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
"You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words?...Well Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

........and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story? :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

no reading all that

:thumbsupthats right!

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh damn, talk about a story to put guys off marriage! LOL

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh
and thats why I killed her your honor.

hahahaha.. always funny

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh :1orglaugh:1orglaugh
Then you are free to go..Unless the judge is a female.

Straight to the Chair. :Oh crap

Good one :) with a wife who did all that for me I would stay home and smoke pot.

:1orglaugh I'd rather my husband go out then to do that much work to keep him home.

Dave, tell us, hows life as being married?

Hahahaha CLASSIC!

Ahahahahahaha


hahahahaha


hahaha


ha...


:Oh crap

You mean you can't read all that, right?

and just think, you will soon be married, living the happy life!

This joke is older than baddog.

Fat chance of a girl that does all that these days....regardless Good 1

hahaha...........
that is a good one....
nice story.......

Lol..that's why I'm never getting married

:1orglaugh

That's terrifying

In light of that it's hard to believe there is actually one little dickhead on this board who ridicules me for being single.

Maybe once he reads that he'll realize what a tool he is. :D

I have no idea, I'm not married..YET!!! :winkwink:

hahaha... great!

:1orglaugh

http://content.imagesocket.com/images/cosbydf4.jpg

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

nice one! :thumbsup

Truth hurts :helpme

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh :Oh crap

Hahahahahaha awesome :1orglaugh

Hell... if my wife did that, I'd be having the boys over to my basement bar and showing that woman off, assuming she's hot...rare find.

edit:

a couple times of doing that and she'd be saying "okay honey have fun at the bar..."

:1orglaugh very nice...i should try that some time

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh I LIKE IT!!!!!

That joke was in a magazing over here a few weeks ago! I pissed myself laughing when I read it :)

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...pplause2px.gif

hahaha!! so guys you must learned your lesson.
" do not go to bar after marriage unless......." lol

That is a funny image.:thumbsup

ok, who bugged my house?

so true.. i have plenty of freinds that could attest to that

hahaha.. So funny.. Its for real.

I can relate to that! LOL!

:1orglaugh
Its more like : cut to the last line without any of the goodies!

hah yea that sounds pretty accurate