eRock

Couldn't have said it better myself!

The Male Code of Ethics:

1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat.
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.
5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call B.S. (Exception: When trying to pick up a woman, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.)
7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is five minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional.
11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up together, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
12. Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return, is required to grant it.
13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem --- you didn't see nothin'.
15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.
17. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required to make nice with her gal pal's significant others --- low-level sports bonding is all the law requires.
18. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
19. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your buddy, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.
20. It is permissible to consume a fruity drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach...and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.
21. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
22. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
23. If a buddy is outnumbered, outmanned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin'." Then you may sit back and enjoy.
24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
26. Never talk to a man in the bathroom.
27. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him.
28. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "leave me alone!" you are absolved of your responsibility.

Triple 6

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eRock

Hits the nail on the head, doesn't it?

PhilipX

Could somebody read what's written there. I fall asleep if I read all.

eRock

Too much work for ya, eh?

Stealthy

#22 is oh so true. Whenever I go out with my friend Jodi, (A 6 foot tall amazon goddess) I have ONE beer then drink water for the rest of the night in anticipation of the impending festivities... It's like trying to fend off leeches or vultures, and it bloody well happens every-single-time-we-go-out!
It doesn't always get violent, but it always goes down the same.

You can watch it happen right from the beginning too & it's quite funny. It starts off with the usual male bullshit, them checking out her tits etc. then sizing me up and taking turns talking about how they're going to kick my ass. Meanwhile they are drinking way too much and I am becoming quite well hydrated.

Then after a few more rounds, they'll pick a delegate (Sometimes one from a few tables, kind of like sperm going after the egg) to come over and ask her to dance/fuck/give him head etc. Now if all that is asked is a dance and the guy's not a total slug, Jo will go dance with him. I mean she's a goddess but she's not a bitch.

Gentlemen, it takes a certain kind of man to dance with Jo and NOT look like a 12 year old. She used to be a dancer and well, she's still got the moves. The thing is, most guys misinterpret what it is she's doing and well, get a little grabby. Do I have to step in? Hell no, didn't you read what I said before? 6 foot amazon goddess? She can handle some dickhead on the dance floor.

Then towards the end of the night, after being shot down like a scud missle time and time again, there's usually at least one guy drunk enough, horny enough and stupid enough to keep on trying. THAT'S when I have to step in. Now I'm no tough guy but I've had unarmed combat training, so when some drunken idiot lets fly a lame assed haymaker at me, it's not too hard to get my hands on him. And so it usually comes to pass that myself and whatever security happens to be around usually end up in a big stupid fight just because some jerkoff couldn't take no for an answer.

You know that song that goes "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife?" well there's a bit of truth to that, because as I'm sure most of you know, when you hang with goddesses, you have to beat back the unwashed masses. So as long as there's beer and testosterone, guys like us will have to keep pounding on guys like them. It sucks, but its a reality.

So to all you backwards-baseball-cap-wearing, Beer Bonging, Blunt Blasting, Bermuda Short Wearing, Breast Worshipping assholes out there, stick to surfing our websites and beating off to our girl's pics, because sparky, you aint worthy of the real thing!

But then that's just my opinion, I could be wrong...

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MAGNET

fuck.. Its my new bible

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Cheshire

Stealthy ~ I started doing something to avoid the grab ass effect that your speaking of in regards to your friend's dancing.
When a guy asks me to dance and I accept, I tell him very sweetly and upfront that I enjoy dancing, but for some reason I simply cannot do it if we're too close together ~ and that I need a little space on the dance floor to have a good time.
If he starts to rub up against me or grab onto me, I back up and remind him that I need some space to be able to dance. If he does it again I just walk away.
It comes off bitchy *only* if the guy chooses to be a jerk and ignore my wishes, but if he's respectful of me I always have fun, and sometimes I'll start to feel comfortable enough to instigate some closer moves.

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just a little bit naughty